Tell me a joke and I'll reward you with 10 points if I laugh...

[James D]

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.

What did Kermit the frog say when Jim Henson died?

Nothing

[Fidel_CashFlow]

lol Giant knew to shut this thing down quickly b4 he is 500 coins less in his account







You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: heya there

You: wanna hear a funny

Stranger: yes

You: there is a cucumber pickle and a penis

Stranger: ok

You: the cucumber said. "man my life sucks... when I get fat I get chopped up and put on a salad"

Stranger: haaaaahahah

You: the pickle then says... u think thats bad... when I get fat and plump someone chops me up and throws me on a hamburger

Stranger: are u a boy or girls

You: the penis then says... " u guys are complaining?....

You:"when I get big fat and juicy I get a plastic bag shoved over my head and pushed into a corner until I throw up"

Stranger: Are u a boy or girls

You: did u like the joke

Stranger: yes are u a boy or girl

You: i have pecks ... but here in about 5 years or so they should simulate titties .....

You: will that suffice

Stranger: ok

You: great

You: hey do u mind if I put that joke in TheGiants thread

Stranger: no

You: sweet

You: im glad we got to do this

Stranger: hurry before I change my mind

You: u have a good life

You: ... hopefully one day u are not kneeling down with people standing over you with machetes chanting "Allah Akbar"

Stranger: I am not

You: thats the spirit

Stranger: hurry send pic

Stranger: naked

You: hey whats this STOP button do here at the bottom ?

You have disconnected.

[chipper]

Lady walks by a pet store and the parrot in the window says "Hey lady... you're ugly!"

Next day same thing happens.

On day three after being called ugly once again the lady storms angrily into the store, goes up to the owner and demands the parrot to cease calling her ugly. The owner apologizes and swears that they parrot will NEVER call her ugly again.

The following day the lady is walking by the store the the parrot says "Hey lady!". Surprised, she spins on her heels and says "What?". Parrot says "YOU KNOW!"

[thetrinity]

jew walks in a diner and sees hitler.

hitler says "when i get into power, im gona kill 5 million jews and 200 clowns"

jew replies "why you gona kill 200 clowns"

hitler says "see, no one gives a penetrate about the jews"

[Seaweed]

jew walks in a diner and sees hitler.

hitler says "when i get into power, im gona kill 5 million jews and 200 clowns"

jew replies "why you gona kill 200 clowns"

hitler says "see, no one gives a penetrate about the jews"

[tony_come]

Funny thread

I'm dying

[The Giant]

Made about 8000 points today in the book, figured I could give some away.

Keep the jokes coming, boys.

[Optional]

How do you know the girl you're dating is a bit too young?

When you need to make train choo choo noises to get your cawk in her mouth.

[Fidel_CashFlow]

i dont want any more coins Giant... but I love telling jokes.




what is the difference from a catholic priest and a zit ?


A zit doesnt come on your face till your about 13

[zizoudane10]

Just bumped in my mother-in-law this morning...At 50... In my jeep...

[zizoudane10]

My ex-girlfriend had a parrot. That thing would not shut up for one fukking minute.
















The bird was cool though.

[zizoudane10]

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

[zizoudane10]

A man and his son were talking about sex.
The son asked his father, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?"
The dad asked him, "before or after sex?"
"Ummmm, before sex", the kid replied.
The dad said, "have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?"
"Yeah" said the son.
"Well, what about after sex?" said the son.
His dad replied, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

[zizoudane10]

These three guys were stranded on this island with no hope of getting off for a long time. Then this 500 pound guy came out of some bushes and said "Okay, I give you two choices......death or bongo."
The first guy said, "I have a lot to live for; my wife and kids are at home. I choose bongo."
The big guy takes him aside and they start banging it right there.
The second guy sees this and doesn't think it looks so bad so he also chooses bongo. Then two 550 pound guys come out of the bushes and they get it on right there.
The third guy is disgusted by this, so he chooses death. After saying this, fourteen 550 pound guys come out of the bushes screaming "DEATH BY BONGO!!"

[zizoudane10]

A women was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHOOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" she goes "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"

[Stallion]

The Toronto Blue Jays.

[daneault23]

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[daneault23]

Just Juan

[hotelis]

A guy makes a 7k bet with a gay bookie and loses.

[TheRifleman]

DAMN!!

Failed my biology test today!!



They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"




Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.

[TheRifleman]

Why don't negroes celebrate thanksgiving???




KFC is not open on holidays

[TheRifleman]

Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve;


excuse me for getting nervous while an A-rab was counting down from ten

[TheRifleman]

Redneck: Help! My buddy fell out of the deer stand I think; I think he might be dead.

911: Sir, please calm down; can you make sure he's not alive?


Redneck: Yea, just a sec. *gunshot* Ok, he's dead, now what?

[TheRifleman]

smartazz, comeback:


"Haha, you failed!"




"Yeah, so did your dad's condom."

[TheRifleman]

My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah the fkn drain is clogged again."

[TheRifleman]

I got myself into the "no puzzy zone for a week once"....what happened?? well, my girl caught me blow-drying my dick and balls with the hair dryer, and asked what I was doing?


Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.

[Chuck Beezy]

The best... I'll give you 10pts if you don't laugh....

[TheRifleman]

The best... I'll give you 10pts if you don't laugh....

worst joke EVER

[Chuck Beezy]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

[statnerds]

Man gets on an elevator. Woman gets on elevator at next floor.

Man: Excuse miss, but can i smell your pvssy?

Woman: You most certainly cannot!!

Man: Oh, that must be your feet then.

[sweep]

(Class of 4th grade students)

Teacher: Okay kids, we are going to go around the room and everyone is going to say what their daddy does for a living and then spell it out loud.

Kenny: My daddys a Lawyer. l-a-w-y-e-r. Lawyer

Mary: My daddys a cook. c-o-o-k. Cook

Jerome: My daddys a Chiropractor. c-r-y-r-o...

Teacher: Jerome, thats incorrect, we will come back to you.

Nicky: My daddy's a Bookie. b-o-o-k-i-e. Bookie...and he'll give you 10-1 that N*gger can't spell chiropractor.

[greenhippo]

What's the difference between jelly and jam?


You can't jelly your dikk down a girl's throat.

[chipper]

Fun thread,,, thanks for the 10 points above Giant! Much appreciated!

[The Kraken]

What did Batman say to Robyn just before getting in the batmobile?



Robyn, get in the car.

[The Kraken]

Why did the skeleton cross the road?


to get to the body shop