JJ GOLD Day - Win SBR Points by roasting JJ!

[CMNoney]

Favorite one liners:


"When i wear rug i look 28 as opposed to 43 That is what $$$$ does."

"I was an investor of a rug (2k) Warrior if you get a fukkin rug you go down to like 23."

[19th Hole]

ONE LINERS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


1st One-Liner
"I would pull a gun is (sic) someone got lucky and connected."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~



2nd One Liner
"I am sick and tired of girls teasing me as a joke "

[19th Hole]

Favorite Quote

LVBOUND and I settled on phone

We did not want to go to court and go through all that stress and embarrassment and get in newspapers

craigslist scandal

top cop scandal

We settled $$

[VegasInsider]

Favorite JJ Thread



1. 20 year old with no job, kicked out of school
2. 25 year old, white kid with afro and fukkin marbles in his fukkin mouth
3. 26 year old attorney that posts/chat 29 hrs per day even when he claims he is in courtroom
4. 17 year old from Vancouver, claims he has been betting for 7 years...do the fukkin math
5. 22 year old that claims to hit 75% but drives an 91 Accord
6. 71 year old that posts porn all day on board
7. 22 year old that claims he runs 5 Dimes
8. 37 year old jock , all sharked out, begging...... for points
9. 41 year old truck driver, claims he has inside info
10. 67 year old about to forclose on his house and says he kills them in bases
11. 19 year old in college that bets $1,000 per game although begging other guys for used college books
12. 25 year old mommy screaming in backround to leave house
13. 57 year old fired from 7 jobs, drunk as a fukkin skunk all the time
14. 35 year old that bets every fukkin game on board
15. last but not least 35 year old, claims she is a model and pro gambler, shows her , flirts with every guy, claims to know pro players and gets inside info and wins most of time and holds upper level job in major corp



Sorry I will take Players Talk Boys!!!!!

[VegasInsider]

Two favorite one-liners

"Well around here we call gambling squares fukkin Otters."

"I will be doing a plate tonight with two hookers I do not even know:"

[SBR Lou]

Happy JJ Gold day everyone!

We will review all eligible contributions for this fine occasion. Your sportsbook and casino FP's will all be credited by Tuesday morning.

[InTheDrink]

This chatroulette video is unreal hilarious. My fav jj thread...legendary lol

http://forum.sbrforum.com/saloon/349415-jj-gold-chatroulette-video.html

If I get drunk enough today maybe ill make my own

[Wiggums5]

wanted to add another one liner if this hasn't been posted...

"MODS delete this thread now"

[JMobile]

Happy JJ Gold day everyone!

We will review all eligible contributions for this fine occasion. Your sportsbook and casino FP's will all be credited by Tuesday morning.

[Cougar Bait]

JJ Gold Impression vid:



Favorite JJ vid:

[robmpink]

Favorite JJ Thread that isn't used...

Going To Try To Build $50 at track tomorrow

10 dimes now tied up at books so need some cash and going to take $50 I made cutting grass today and build it hopefully, is this possible? I want to come away with $300.

http://forum.sbrforum.com/players-talk/86115-going-try-build-50-track-tomorrow.html

Favorite One Liners That haven't been used.....

"Dac gives us some winners"-This thread-http://forum.sbrforum.com/players-talk/216702-finally-i-can-post.html-Either unaware he has been banned forever or just being funny w/ the bump.


Second One Liner that hasn't been used.....
Really not into banging hookers every night, smoking pot and washig my fukkin car every day because of all the dirt roads. From this thread Got An Offer To Be A Line Manager......http://forum.sbrforum.com/players-ta...e-manager.html

[yisman]

I present you with the Wikipedia article created about jjgold, since deleted:

JJ Gold

Bettor Extraordinaire

J.J. Gold began his career at the race track with his father. While J.J. Gold Sr. was wagering, young J.J. would wander off and oogle the multi-colored jumpsuites prominently displayed at the memorabilia store. It was then that J.J. knew he would become a big bettor and own a closet full of jumpsuites. After J.J. Gold Sr. had lost all of his money on the horses, the two would go to the deli and enjoy a cole cut. They only bought one because J.J. Sr. had lost all of his money at the track. J.J. Jr. vowed never to be in the same situation as his father: he wanted a full-sized cole cut.

Through his teenage years, J.J. lived a typical life. Not only did he lose his virginity, but he lost all control over his ability to produce erections and aim his ejaculate upon orgasm. J.J. realized, from then on, that it would be simpler to purchase his women. If they made fun of him and his mink coats, he would not pay them. After time, women would line up to J.J.'s door, looking for a piece of his action. They often fought with the children who were also lined up to run errands for J.J. in exchange for Bazooka Joe gum. J.J. was well on his way to stardom, but all great men must eventually fall from their triumphant heights.

It all began on Thanksgiving Day. Constantly interrupting Thanksgiving Dinner to check his bets, J.J. was ejected from the premises. J.J. went to the Deli and bought a cole cut on credit. He was solemnly beginning to realize that not everyone understood what a big bettor he was. Then he spilled mustard on his red jumpsuite.

Today, J.J. coaches others on the pitfalls of gambling, and how to become a big bettor like himself. Currently working on a novel entitled "Betting Big with the Bank's Dimes", J.J. will broaden the base of his support, so that his message can be spread internationally. "Betting Big with the Bank's Dimes" is being translated into 47 different languages as we speak, in order to educate Indians on cricket betting, Germans on the Bundesliga, and Iranians on nuclear reactors.

Created and deleted in February 2007.

[SBR_John]

WTF?? Never saw this. Who wrote it????

JJ Gold

Bettor Extraordinaire

J.J. Gold began his career at the race track with his father. While J.J. Gold Sr. was wagering, young J.J. would wander off and oogle the multi-colored jumpsuites prominently displayed at the memorabilia store. It was then that J.J. knew he would become a big bettor and own a closet full of jumpsuites. After J.J. Gold Sr. had lost all of his money on the horses, the two would go to the deli and enjoy a cole cut. They only bought one because J.J. Sr. had lost all of his money at the track. J.J. Jr. vowed never to be in the same situation as his father: he wanted a full-sized cole cut.

Through his teenage years, J.J. lived a typical life. Not only did he lose his virginity, but he lost all control over his ability to produce erections and aim his ejaculate upon orgasm. J.J. realized, from then on, that it would be simpler to purchase his women. If they made fun of him and his mink coats, he would not pay them. After time, women would line up to J.J.'s door, looking for a piece of his action. They often fought with the children who were also lined up to run errands for J.J. in exchange for Bazooka Joe gum. J.J. was well on his way to stardom, but all great men must eventually fall from their triumphant heights.

It all began on Thanksgiving Day. Constantly interrupting Thanksgiving Dinner to check his bets, J.J. was ejected from the premises. J.J. went to the Deli and bought a cole cut on credit. He was solemnly beginning to realize that not everyone understood what a big bettor he was. Then he spilled mustard on his red jumpsuite.

Today, J.J. coaches others on the pitfalls of gambling, and how to become a big bettor like himself. Currently working on a novel entitled "Betting Big with the Bank's Dimes", J.J. will broaden the base of his support, so that his message can be spread internationally. "Betting Big with the Bank's Dimes" is being translated into 47 different languages as we speak, in order to educate Indians on cricket betting, Germans on the Bundesliga, and Iranians on nuclear reactors.

[The Bet Master]

If you fought jjgold there would be two hits, you'd hit him and he'd hit the floor.

[yisman]

John, I posted it when someone wanted a Wikipedia article about him.


You liked it, so I reposted it.


BAUS seems to think mathy wrote it.

[falconticket]

Jj gets roasted everyday

[doublej95]

I always enjoy when jj tells some new poster to call him.

[yisman]

JJ GOLD Day - Roast JJ for SBR points!

JJ's Greatest Hits: Paste your favorite JJ Gold post in this thread for a 50 point SBR Casino freeplay. Posters may not re-post the same post. Be the first to dig up the JJ classics! One per poster.

Guys I can call any top offshore book and get the gambling heads instantly. They all know me well, I have moved for Walters, had my own syndicate and of course booked in Vegas legally. My outlaw lines are very respected, I am somewhat flamboyant and love to flirt and show myself off which at times irks people, some guys don't like that I am in tune with myself and comfortable in all situations. Like many other pros I have had bad losing times and nice winning times.

I have lived in different places from Mansions to Basements and hung with all the big timers from Barry Manilow to walking the streets of CR with Mickey of Cris with my mink on. I have butted heads with top forum owners and book owners alike.

You will not see guys like me and Sick Gambler every again, both posting pioneers and both very dedicated to this profession. I do move players pretty good from book to book with my posts if needed and have been compared to Ross Perot.

My home base is Newark and hang with lots of Brothers and Italians and a legend with kids around the area . The hookers love me as do the pimps. I am good looking and sharp dressing most of the time. My favorite thing to do is get kids out of school and then we go the track in my van and have fun gambling all day.

The legend stories are true about me going on rooftops and throwing at bazooka bubble gum to kids, wearing my bow-an-arrow uniform in the streets of Newark, hitting baseballs off buildings to figure wind direction to get an edge and of course the great grab ass games we have had in locker rooms.

I love you guys and spend most of my time on forums and trying to groom some of my young friends to carry the torch one day. We are trying to get into more videos now to send our messages out.

I know the industry inside and out and my book ratings are the best in the world

So I went and found the bazooka post:

5:00AM Workout, jog like 5 minutes in my place, bench press a little (around 50lbs), 10 push-ups, 5 sit-ups, 10 curls (15lbs), throw the medicine ball around for another 5 or so/ .

5:45AM- Power breakfast, 2 eggs, 5 slices bacon, 10 slices tailor ham, a few sausages, glass of milk, a stick of oriole cookies

6:30 Shower and sing tunes for like a 1/2 hour. Usually then put on a jumpsuite and my chains and here is something new. I bought this shit that is suppose to make your rooster grow, so I throw some if on shaft and head. It is some type of powder. I do it everyday. Finally cement rug on and comb it and inspect it a lot.

7:15AM- Hit the forum, post some shit to my pupils

7:30AM- I make some calls for early wise guy plays around the country.

8:00Am Duke this kid down the hallway to get me the racing forms and every addition.

8:15AM- Usually a big timer from newark calls me seeing what is up.
The guy is trying to get me into a 3 card monte game outside. I don't leave my pad much.

8:40 Start reasearching the net and looking for edges, looking at line services and looking for bad / weak numbers . Make a few posts

9:45AM- I call the track starters at each track I am betting and look for angles to bet. I also have a few track clockers in my back pocket so I get good shit to bet.

10:15AM- Look out the window and shit and see whats up. I usually conduct most of my biz from the window and guys stand below to get assignments. I throw out usually bazookas gums to the kids for 5 minutes and these kids go fukkin wild battling for it. A ritual we have.
Make a few posts

10:45AM- Getting edgy, early race cards getting closer. I usually go play a hold-em game ($50/$100) for like an hour. I fuk around in there chatting and trying to pick up chicks. Or if not poker usually kids cut school and we play ps2 for a while.

11:45- Will look at a few porn magazines and dream. Also watch pron for a little bit and try and learn and get Tips. Finally to cap off my sex hour I usually call the phone/chat lines ad talk to girls live and shit and they tell me what they want to do to me and everything. These girls sound really sexy too. Make a few posts

12:45 Pop some early doubles hard and get in my pick 4's. I have 4 cards usually in front of me and use only DRF paper addition

1:00 Bury some games and get good numbers. I usually move for a few Newark players too. Big lunch and usually have big macs everyday. The manager owes me so he delivers them

1:15PM- On the phone with Russ and telling him what books to watch fr and asking him where the early Canadian money is on. Boys you all wish you were as sharp as me. Make a few posts

1:30PM Usually these girls call back from the chat line wanting to talk nasty. We talk for like 10 minutes and then I tell them to fukkin bill me. They know I am big time so they like to call.

1:50 Betting still some ponies, make a few posts

2:30PM The HS kids come over and we eat and I let them bet with my horse accounts for a while. They all bring their own forms though and I supply only pretzles, chips, ice cream and soda. No smoking or drugs.

4:00PM Kids gone, make some calls to west coast and see what is up. Call sharks to make sure we are on same page. Pop pills for my paranois I developed. I have a few like thinking spiders are in every fukkin room, think my rug is loose or crooked, I do not like it dark. Always think raccoons are trying to get in, think my computer always crashes and finally fear of losing. I take shit for it though. Make a few posts

5:00 PM- kids yelling up to my window asking who I like and I give them games and amounts to bet and then they all run to walk up shops and put cash bets in. I also have dialogue with some locals from window and tellin them who to bet.

5:30 Again I throw bazooka bubble gum out the windows to the kids and give them like 100 pieces a session. This is so big now there are like 100 kids waiting for me to toss them out. What a fukkin battle to get gum. Make a few posts

6:00PM- the big players all come to my pad and we discuss the night and who we like and why. Secondly they always bring food and Italian it is.
Lots of sharps telling stories and all these guys on phone pounding games all over country.

7:15 Call Brett, Call Sportman,, Call Dimeplayers, action, action, action, post

7:30PM phone ringing constantly with info, on net banging plays

8:00 Snack, watch games, computer, ect and flip on porn a little.

8:40PM- post, poker, dance to some tunes

9:40 Hit the dating lines and leave lots of messages for women. I basically just say, strong, handsome, bear looking for my little cub to play with. It has not worked yet.

10:15PM Grade games, watch games, post, snack

11:00 Make contacts with sharks and workout payment plans, call locals, ect, post

12:00AM Play 3 card monte in hallway for an hour with neighbors

1:00AM Wrap up posting and i call a girl to chat sex with for a while, look at lines and stats, play video games.

2:00AM take my fukkin rug off and what a pain in the ass, glue all fukkin over and shit. I am cursing because it toes not come off easy. It usually takes like 30 minutes to get scalp clean and free of sticky glue becuase if not I pay for it in bed, My fukkin head sticks to the pillow and I get pissed off.

3:00AM watch porn and try to jack off if I can get it up. I usually pretend I am banging chick on tv, I out screen real close to me like I am there. I kind of pump bed

Eventually fall asleep for a little bit and back right at it.

Of course when i do go out I have to meet bookmakers and sharks but other than that I am home most of the time and I have guys on my payroll to get me everything.

Best JJ one-liner: Win a 25 point SBR Casino freeplay by pasting your favorite JJ Gold 1 liner. Limit of two unique posts per poster. Posters may not re-post the same post.


I turn to an old favorite:

Tennis does not get enough action to take large wagers

I win again like usual
...

Tennis is too small of a sport to risk taking big bets...Betfair again is players betting against each other big difference

Followed six months later by this thread.

[jairocon]

80% of guys in chat have some sort of issues 70% are squares 94% are virgins 74% are under 22 80% under 4 inches in length 89% net worth under 2k Its your call

Not sure if it was posted yet - but it got me cracking

[Roadtrip635]

My video roast of JJ Gold

[RealSlimShady]

Great video, Roadtrip!!

[Money]

favorite quote i found: (Asking the question does anyone bet virtual horses)

Shit is addicting, I highly doubt it is rigged

Why bet real horses if you can bet like every 2 minutes or so

Virtual Soccer also pretty cool

I love gambling

[Robber]

jj

The one I go to is a room of course steaming hot, there are benches on the outer edges (perimeter of the room) and the rest is standing room in the middle. One door entry only and once everyone inside they lock it for like 30 minutes so the steam gets real hot, with an unlocked door any one can enter and steam releases out the door. Ok I prefer a towel or sometimes just go in with a jock strap or bikinni underwear. Majority of guys use just towels and some guys cut a slit in back of robe as it is trendy. The room I go to is usually packed with all benches taken and very few standing spots as steam pours in. I like sitting but the problem with that is if a guy comes in steam room nude and he is next to you if you even poke your head up his rooster is in your fukkin ear or near your fukkin face. So I keep my head down if sitting. If I am standing and I am alert because always a few wise asses trying to squeeze your fukkin balls as a joke not a gay act or pinch your ass in a game called grab ass. At times if there is a guy unsure of himself and a few horny guys around him they seduce and swarm him and the guy usually blows them in a fukkin lineup and a few sandwich him just like the word says and one fuks him in the ass and other holds him. It is sick, the noise could be deafening because of pain, moans, pleasure . What you need to be careful of is everyone is lubed up because of the hot steam and easy to fuk someone in ass with him really knowing it initially. My buddy felt a pinch last week and just thought a guy was fukkin around pinching him but he had a rooster in his ass and had to pull out. It is just too crowded and things happen like this. The normal guys usually just sit their or stand there and let the steam relax the. Some guys wack off and just shoot on the floor, sometimes fights start because *** gets on another guy . A few guys are gay and just go to play hard with each other or try and seduce straight guys in a sick game called jellywatchers. I go to watch the action and relax my muscles. Deuce I would love to see you get what is called "spindled" where a guy fuks you in ass right over another guys knee. I could hear your make sounds like a fukkin baby as your ass is pounded. Deuce come down one day and I will bring you, it is hilarious. You would be one of the door pounders trying to get out because your getting fukked in the ass or going to get fukked. The pounding of the doors is funny too and the door guy does not let anyone out unless of course a health or fire issue.

lol steam rooms

[illmatick]

sbr

I use to, I am sure there are posts somewhere if you do searches.

I usually fought older guys in their 70's or HS kids and maybe 3 girls in my life because those are the age groups where they are wises asses.

vintage majorwager back in 2007.

Tattoos : Who Has Them? I have the following

one on my left leg- small tiger
one of my left arm- snake
one on my wrist- one armed bandit
one side of my back- The guy thay smokes a bone on the rolling paper (zig zag man)
one on my left ass cheek- Purple casino chip
rooster ring on my barrel
Right Shoulder- Barry Manilow Picture





Roger sorry Pal, I am firm on the price


Stevo the Tractor is capable of handling about 5 acres if you do not push it hard, take care of it (oil, plugs, belts)

Stevo let me know, I can have guy ship it ou on a freight truck, he owes me a favor.

Thanks


This always happens, I am down a significant amount of money to a Conn. Bookmaker and now betting over my head. What really sucks though is when family is around I fake smile and pretend to be social and everything is cool. My 90 year old grandmother thinks I am wonderful and financially secure.

The barbeques are not enjoyable at all especially when you need games to get out of a whole. I put an act on for everyone but deep down I am very concerned about my red number with the local store.

Life sucks and why me?? I do not deserve this at all, I want to be happy and laugh and smile for real and tell jokes to family and stuff and not constantly have stress headaches and sweat games out. I feel like a victim here.
__________________


__________________

[Robber]

Some say why do I not want the roommate to have guy friends??

Well never liked 3rd party people cutting in on my turf

I like to be in control,,in bunk bed I also like to be on top

Never forget 9 years ago when I was in 4 day seminar and we had bunk beds. I was on top and this fukkin nit wit was on the bottom and loved to fuk around, one night he went too far or should is say a few nights he went to far . When I fell asleep Melons cut a hole in my matress so my fukkin ass was exposed and he was inserting rubber rods in my ass when i slept. I found out next day because iw as sore and saw a rubber rod under his bed so the second night I played dumb..used duct tape covering my ass so the rubber rods would not penetrate me. He did try again but could not get it in and I jumped up and scared him. I told him I was going to blow his fukkin head off if he tried that again.

and jj on pizza orders

Geek do not let it happen again

Stuff like this fuks up the order system and what I mean by this........

Now if some guy orders today you get his pie............then that same guy now has to wait until another guy orders and he then gets the others guys pie so basically we would be one behind and all the times would be fukked up

Geek do not let it happen again

[robmpink]

where is this trivia?

[superwerewolf6]

-sbr should have a small contest on when derek jeter gets 3000 hits
quote jjgold -" he is a loser we are not honoring him".

- "Aussies are such tools"
-"hey baby ,take take your top off",

[FrozenMAN]

this is BY FAR the best post of his....i was dying when i first saw it and still laugh at it with his favorite candy "woopers" LOLOLOLOL..

http://forum.sbrforum.com/players-talk/761857-halloween-video.html

and favorite one liner.....i dont know how i haven't seen it posted yet......NICKAAAY!

[BrickJames]

Best thread ever!

[SBR Lou]

JJ Gold Day Trivia, Play now to win free points!

[Ryangene]

My Favorite JJ Post

http://forum.sbrforum.com/players-talk/844918-emotional-video-its-over-shari.html

Emotional Video: Its Over With Shari



My Quotes
---HELP ME , crying in the mirror as we speak
----Guys why you laughing about E-Fukkin?? E-Dating??
NEWS FLASH: There is such a thing and it is safe

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Best JJGold on-line:

"Derick Rose Will Not Be A Dominate Player"

[chemicalbrother]

JJ greatest hits: october 10, 2006, he retires from ever gambling again.

I am Ceasing Sportsbetting Due To New Law

I do not want any legal issues, secondly quitting due to heavy financial loses.. I will still be posting and giving my expert advice on the games and the industry.

[chemicalbrother]

one liner:

Q: what type of girl do you prefer?

JJ:

Anything

I am desperate

[danso]

One Liners:

"I ain't dumb ya know"

"I will fight anyone"