JJ GOLD Day - Win SBR Points by roasting JJ!

[Kindred]

SO DRUNK thought I lost, watch ESPN sportscenter see the thunderhad a nice run but choked AGAIN=NICE!

Mavs owner clip crying at 2:00 AM...but I still won gotta love drinking and nose candy

[Shortstop]

CHEERS!

JJ GOLD Day - Roast JJ for SBR points!

JJ's Greatest Hits: Paste your favorite JJ Gold post in this thread for a 50 point SBR Casino freeplay. Posters may not re-post the same post. Be the first to dig up the JJ classics! One per poster.

Paver actually I have been in steam rooms with approx 15 guys in room at one time, actually not one seat open and some guys stand.

Paver how would you handle this situation that often arises in crowded steam rooms.

Say you sitting down Brock one one of the benches and if the room is crowded and you look up their are cocks starring you right in the fukkin eyes, some actually touch your fukkin cheeks and bump off your fukkin chin. I have many times been in tight steam rooms where this happens or even if I am guy standing there might be two guys standing next to me and cocks do at times touch you. I was not paying attention one time and was just bull shitting with one of the guys and did not know some guys rooster was litterally runbbing up against my ass. Now the guy was not gay it was just a tight steam room. If some guys are BI you might have a small issue but even if the other guy was Bi or Gay Paver and tried fukkin you in there what happens is his rooster will not insert into your slippery ass because of all the hot steam. It is nearly impossible to fuk another guy in a steam room.

Best JJ one-liner: Win a 25 point SBR Casino freeplay by pasting your favorite JJ Gold 1 liner. Limit of two unique posts per poster. Posters may not re-post the same post.

Hash is very hard to get

Its not readily available

Wiggler just driving around trying to make eye contact with women in cars driving by. I just stare them down and see I'd I get feedback.

Nothing yet

[King Mayan]

Favorite one liners:

Mayan if we ever meet I am bringing fukkin horse shoes

[Kindred]

9:40 Hit the dating lines and leave lots of messages for women. I basically just say, strong, handsome, bear looking for my little cub to play with. It has not worked yet.

I think cub/bear means old f\*g looking for young f\*g, so women probably thought you were a rooster gobbler so trhey didn't reply

[Kindred]

I think cub/bear means old f\*g looking for young f\*g, so women probably thought you were a rooster gobbler so trhey didn't reply

co-ck becomes rooster on SBR...really

[Iced]

12-27-08, 09:25 AM

Almost Fukked My Aunt Last Night

Late last night she was sleeping and I peeked into her room and only had underwear on and basically tried to get her to notice me. I stood there for 40 minutes and hit something so she would awake. Yes she did and she told me to come in, I slowly edged towards her bed and asked if she has any problems that she needs to talk about and she started talking about herself and how she does not like herself kind of an emotional wreck like Robyn but way older, I comforted her and said all the right things and then slowly starting rubbing her arms and then moved my hands by her belly and rubbing there. Se said stop that it is not right and I said no baby it is all right and I was going to make you feel good. She started to be all at ease..................

Now I am going to seduce her and talk dirty, I said do you want my rooster inside of you?? She said yes so I take her hand and put it on my fukkin monster rooster and she starts rubbing it. Well I almost came and lucky I took her hand away. Ok I now go to closet and get TR-78 Lubricant works well with older ladies and had trouble opening it , Mommy heard me struggling in the closet and wanted to know what I was up to and i just said i was getting some jelly for my chapped hands.

Ok I get back into my aunts room and get lube open and start spreading it all over her boby , was kind of sticky so now making a fukkin mess and even got it in my rug and her hair.

I lube up her ass too just in case i go for kill, I furiously stroke my rooster now trying to get it up and now she mentions a condom and i told her no way and I do not use them and "you are fukkin 90 years old" and not going to get pregnant and she kind of resisted but I won her over so tell her I want to fuk her like a dog and told her to turn around, I slapped her ass a few times like the porn guys and tried inserting my rooster in her but it was too slippery. I put too much lube on her ass and everything was slippery. I flip her around and try regular style and same thing. We are creating a little noise now and Mommy asks if everything is alright and my aunt says yes with a sexy giggle.

Anyway I could not get it in her because just way too much lube and I asked her if I coulld fuk her in the ass and she said no, I tried telling her everyone does it so do not worry but she said no. I said blow me and she said no. Well she said forget about this and looked kind of frustrated and asked me if I every been laid before????????????

Fuk her

Never use lube unless your going to anal, my rooster had her excited and I fukked up . The lube gets all over and I even had a hard time flipping her over because she was too slippery, sheets need to be cleaned to,ect.

Well I tried and had a big shot but again failed. I cannot even fuk a 61 year old

[shari91]

ICED - I was literally just going to post that

Good job. My favourite JJ post of all times

[Iced]

ICED - I was literally just going to post that

Good job. My favourite JJ post of all times

The first time I read that I had my hand on my forehead, shaking my head, and laughing my ass off at the same time. I don't know where he comes up with shit like this.

[konck]

My favorite one liner from JJ is...
"Ouch Tony not so damn hard"
Ok give me pts

[Ced's shadow]

I asked that Shadow Prick for an ounce of coke because it is cheap in CR and he would not send it to me. Illini your wrong here

Cedder send it to me and I will give you 370 points plus more points for shipping. All you do is put this name on it Mario Dolbin, your making a big deal out of this for no reason Manny guys have sent me coke from there

Did you receive the package in time JJ?

[Glitch]

probably my favorite JJ video post. classic; can definitely relate.

[mrmarket]

12-27-08, 09:25 AM

Almost Fukked My Aunt Last Night

Late last night she was sleeping and I peeked into her room and only had underwear on and basically tried to get her to notice me. I stood there for 40 minutes and hit something so she would awake. Yes she did and she told me to come in, I slowly edged towards her bed and asked if she has any problems that she needs to talk about and she started talking about herself and how she does not like herself kind of an emotional wreck like Robyn but way older, I comforted her and said all the right things and then slowly starting rubbing her arms and then moved my hands by her belly and rubbing there. Se said stop that it is not right and I said no baby it is all right and I was going to make you feel good. She started to be all at ease..................

Now I am going to seduce her and talk dirty, I said do you want my rooster inside of you?? She said yes so I take her hand and put it on my fukkin monster rooster and she starts rubbing it. Well I almost came and lucky I took her hand away. Ok I now go to closet and get TR-78 Lubricant works well with older ladies and had trouble opening it , Mommy heard me struggling in the closet and wanted to know what I was up to and i just said i was getting some jelly for my chapped hands.

Ok I get back into my aunts room and get lube open and start spreading it all over her boby , was kind of sticky so now making a fukkin mess and even got it in my rug and her hair.

I lube up her ass too just in case i go for kill, I furiously stroke my rooster now trying to get it up and now she mentions a condom and i told her no way and I do not use them and "you are fukkin 90 years old" and not going to get pregnant and she kind of resisted but I won her over so tell her I want to fuk her like a dog and told her to turn around, I slapped her ass a few times like the porn guys and tried inserting my rooster in her but it was too slippery. I put too much lube on her ass and everything was slippery. I flip her around and try regular style and same thing. We are creating a little noise now and Mommy asks if everything is alright and my aunt says yes with a sexy giggle.

Anyway I could not get it in her because just way too much lube and I asked her if I coulld fuk her in the ass and she said no, I tried telling her everyone does it so do not worry but she said no. I said blow me and she said no. Well she said forget about this and looked kind of frustrated and asked me if I every been laid before????????????

Fuk her

Never use lube unless your going to anal, my rooster had her excited and I fukked up . The lube gets all over and I even had a hard time flipping her over because she was too slippery, sheets need to be cleaned to,ect.

Well I tried and had a big shot but again failed. I cannot even fuk a 61 year old

How is this guy not in an asylum somewhere?

[a4u2fear]

[COLOR=#000000 !important] "I am almost certain I will win this bet and win it easy"

When the hell has anything in betting been easy!?


Favorite one line:
"This cannot lose"

[/COLOR]

[blackbeSSt]

even as of this morning he keeps giving us ammo :

Called me a bum, manipulator and not real honest

They are mad they have no grandchildren other than Jeffrey that refuses to accept them
Its not like I do not go out and make a few bucks, no idea why they want me out???

I did not steal any money

Might need to get my own pad but need to stay under $600 per month

snaggle tooth 40 year old virgin baldy still living at home

[JMobile]

03/21/11, 9:51AM Cold and Rainy Here

Man this weather gets you in the mood for sex

SO??

Well going to some Porn store in Newark and parking 1/2 mile away, wearing some silly fake beard
All fukkin losers in there and I am best looking guy so you see what I mean??
Lol....everyone hides in their own corners and buys their stuff
The looks on everyone's faces are hilarious, we are all scared shit of being spotted
Its basically a stamp that you cannot get laid
They also have a movie room but all the losers in their jack off on seats and walls watching 3d porn
I am getting like 10 underground movies for $5 a pop, way better than internet clips
No signs outside and guy gives you Kohls bag to hide them
Going to get mainly girl/girl
anal/anal
tri/straight
straight
gang bangs
street/straight
strapons
Bi/tri (some of hottest girtls are in Bi movies

Anything goes today

No camera in risk of getting beat up

Ok had to circle place 4 times because girls smoking right outside place.

I snuck in their and browsed around. I got good shit also bought fake to suck on and do russian fukkin with. I bought two also so I can put together and like said Russian fuk them (put my rooster in between them)

So bought movies and fake and some magazines

Ok so had to wait inside for more girls to go inside, like I said company next store and they smoke outside. A few peeked in and were laughing, they must know what it is.

Ok so left and it was slippery from wet snow and slipped and one of the came out and went into the fukkin street, well it got crushed and pretended it was not mine and walked away. I go back in and had to buy another fukkin pair.

Left again and jogged away , I think one chick saw me leaving and pointed to her friends to look at me and laugh

Well everyone laughs at a bald fat guy with a beard in a porn shop

Its a poster board type

This did it for me!
JJ is such a degenerate

[shari91]

I think this thread should be permanently stickied.

If anyone's ever in a crappy mood, feeling down about themselves, had a bad beat, just got rejected by a loved one, etc... you're 200% guaranteed to feel better after taking a peek in here.

It's like heaven in a thread for the depressed and down-trodden.

[payupsucker]

"Don't lose the privilege to gamble." jjgold

[gdoom]

crazy..i think that this is cool as hell..thanks sbr

[Reload]

Love all the ideas

[harlee71]

No one can do a Neil Diamond song like JJGOLD

[Ian]

[COLOR=#000000 !important] The live games is where the only integrity is

Online is rigged[/COLOR]

That's my favorite JJ Gold post because it's so typical of his useless trolling. JJ Troll is a clown. And like a clown he is occasionally amusing, but usually just creepy and obnoxious.

[mrmarket]

That's my favorite JJ Gold post because it's so typical of his useless trolling. JJ Troll is a clown. And like a clown he is occasionally amusing, but usually just creepy and obnoxious.

Categorizing a behavior as useless then cleverly engaging in it at the same time! Trolling the troll. I like it. You're operating on another level than us all buddy glad to have you around.

[stealthyburrito]

Anything jj and steamrooms equates hilarity. his vivid descriptions of the place leads me to believe he has truly engaged the sauna loving community:

The one I go to is a room of course steaming hot, there are benches on the outer edges (perimeter of the room) and the rest is standing room in the middle. One door entry only and once everyone inside they lock it for like 30 minutes so the steam gets real hot, with an unlocked door any one can enter and steam releases out the door. Ok I prefer a towel or sometimes just go in with a jock strap or bikinni underwear. Majority of guys use just towels and some guys cut a slit in back of robe as it is trendy. The room I go to is usually packed with all benches taken and very few standing spots as steam pours in. I like sitting but the problem with that is if a guy comes in steam room nude and he is next to you if you even poke your head up his rooster is in your fukkin ear or near your fukkin face. So I keep my head down if sitting. If I am standing and I am alert because always a few wise asses trying to squeeze your fukkin balls as a joke not a gay act or pinch your ass in a game called grab ass. At times if there is a guy unsure of himself and a few horny guys around him they seduce and swarm him and the guy usually blows them in a fukkin lineup and a few sandwich him just like the word says and one fuks him in the ass and other holds him. It is sick, the noise could be deafening because of pain, moans, pleasure . What you need to be careful of is everyone is lubed up because of the hot steam and easy to fuk someone in ass with him really knowing it initially. My buddy felt a pinch last week and just thought a guy was fukkin around pinching him but he had a rooster in his ass and had to pull out. It is just too crowded and things happen like this. The normal guys usually just sit their or stand there and let the steam relax the. Some guys wack off and just shoot on the floor, sometimes fights start because *** gets on another guy . A few guys are gay and just go to play hard with each other or try and seduce straight guys in a sick game called jellywatchers. I go to watch the action and relax my muscles. Deuce I would love to see you get what is called "spindled" where a guy fuks you in ass right over another guys knee. I could hear your make sounds like a fukkin baby as your ass is pounded. Deuce come down one day and I will bring you, it is hilarious. You would be one of the door pounders trying to get out because your getting fukked in the ass or going to get fukked. The pounding of the doors is funny too and the door guy does not let anyone out unless of course a health or fire issue.

[MadTiger]

well-played/10

[MadTiger]

Categorizing a behavior as useless then cleverly engaging in it at the same time! Trolling the troll. I like it. You're operating on another level than us all buddy glad to have you around.

Metatrolling?

[Glitch]

[jjgold]

probably my favorite JJ video post. classic; can definitely relate.

That was an underrated video
Still goes on every football season

[shari91]

I could post 500 directed at me that made me laugh my ass off but let's go with the most recent. He even went through the effort of posting a photo

Shari you should change your name to The Black Dahlia you bisexual prick

[RudyRuetigger]

some good ones in here

[mrmarket]

some good ones in here

I still have a bunch that aren't posted but I'm trying to give people time to post theirs. I can't believe nobody has posted JJ's adventure with the pool cleaning machine yet.

[LotsoCheese]

It doesn't start till the 30th. It will last till the stroke before midnight. That is what I gathered anyways......

[RealSlimShady]

How can anyone miss "I'm straight as a fukkin arrow!"
JJ's as queer as Elton John.

[itriedsohard]

http://video.sbrforum.com/video-10727-Superbowl-Video-2011-28-000-Bet.html

has to be my favorite video.



"It' s a real world high stakes gambling! This a high stakes gambler!"


i dont know why but i've watched that line and the video about 30 times. hilarious.

[Iced]

05-09-2006, 11:45 AM

How To Get At Least 40% Off Anything At A Store

I never pay the full amount and get huge discounts on everything. I got myself a nice laptop valued at 1 Dime for $400 by telling the worker to smash the box and dent the edge of the laptop and when I bring it up to the cashier I cause a fukkin big stir and the manager basically gives it away.

Secondly needed a new power drill valued $600, all I did was open the box pretending to look at it and when no one was looking smashed the mother fukker on the ground and paid only $180 for it because it was damaged a little on the exterior.

I bought 20 Gallons of paint for a job I hustled up and again real simple young lads all I did was get a hammer from the next aisle and pound the sides of them and dented every one. I duked a worker so he did not say anything and he actually helped me!!

52" TV, Best Buy floor model, real easy, you go to the top right corner and tap it with a small hammer and it should crack. You really never view the top right anyway and then you tell them you want the floor model and pretend you do not see the crack at first and then go hay wire on them and get the huge discount.

45 Bags of cement, mini crow bar to each bag, I load them on the hand truck and I walk them to check out and the fukkin cement is going all over and the managers go fukkin crazy and tell me to stop and I play dumb and act it out and go "What?" and then I proceed to make an academy award acting scenario, kicking the bags and mumbling to myself about how I loaded all these bags and di not know they had holes in them....ect.... end of story got all the bags free!!!

One more my favorite, Costco soda, I dent the tops of some of the cans in each case by pounding them into the ground and get 40% off the 20 cases.

At times you will have to duke a kid that works there to watch for you and help you and other times its real easy because no one is around. Also be careful of the angles of the security cameras but in most cases they only look at them if theft is going on. Damaging good is real quick and not easy to pick up on a camera.

Be a good actor also.

[secretstash]

fav jjgold classic post - new bud good

Canuck he could of used voice synsethizer

I knew a guy that tricked me
He sounded black in phone but in person was white as fukkin chalk.

Make a video so we can hammer you.

JJGOLD one liners
1)
In reply to opie about an IPAD -

Opie send me one pal and write it off on your business

2)

Gregory you should go, I had near misses of getting laid and finally I knew it was NOT ME
They do not give a fuk if your bald and small, they like American Men period and you can come at them with a 1.8 inch pecker and they still will ***. I would like to move their and I literally would be a mini King Tut.