Chuck can lead a horse to water.....
and make him drink it
and make him drink it
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Chuck doesnt get frostbite....
he bites frostComment -
Chuck can slam a revolving doorComment -
Chuck does not sleep....
he waitsComment -
chuck can sneeze with his eyes openComment -
America is not a democracy.....
it is a Chuck-tatershipComment -
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.Comment -
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take sh.t from anybody.Comment -
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.Comment -
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.Comment -
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.Comment -
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game.
When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child.
Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.Comment -
God fights Chuck, Who wins?
.............Trick question...................
Chuck Norris is GodComment -
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".Comment -
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.Comment -
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.Comment -
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.Comment -
When you come home from work and find shit on the rug, it wasn’t from your dog…it was from Chuck Norris fucking your wife so hard.Comment -
Chuck Norris once swallowed a live grenade. When it exploded, he burped and exclaimed, "That's a spicy meatball."Comment -
When Chuck Norris helps you jumpstart your car, remember: beard is positive, fist is negative.Comment -
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.Comment -
Chuck Norris has slept with every woman in the world just to be absolutely sure that he has ****ed your wife.Comment -
Every morning Chuck starts his day off by roundhouse kicking 14 small children. Why 14? 14 is not only Chuck's favorite number, but it is also the number of times Chuck has had sex with your mother.Comment -
Chuck Norris doesn't need to masturbate. His penis jerks itself off.Comment -
If Chuck Norris does not wake up with a big pair of titties in hand then thirty necks must be broken for it to be a good day anyway.Comment -
Chuck Norris's penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.Comment -
Chuck Norris let the dogs outComment -
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.Comment -
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.Comment -
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.Comment -
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.Comment -
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.Comment
