Chuck Norris Jokes

[poetwarrior41]

When he is having sex, the only way Chuck Norris can *** is having a Vietnamese family nearby begging for their lives...

Chuck Norris had sex with your mom and your dad gave him a high five!

Chuck Norris is sooooooooooooooo bad that even Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

[betplom]

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

[betplom]

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fυcking beef.

[JDizzel]

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

[JDizzel]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fυcks up.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

[englishmike]

Youre totally straight and Chuck Norris wants to slip one in your ass so you ask him who reccomended you.

[JDizzel]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

[betplom]

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

[AgainstAllOdds]

You guys are fuking killing me here...oh man so funny plom.

[betplom]

You guys are fuking killing me here...oh man so funny plom.

Glad you like it, I'm just having some fun.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

[betplom]

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

[betplom]

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

[betplom]

When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

[englishmike]

What do you tell Chuck Norris's girlfriend when she's got 2 black eyes?

**** all. Chucks already told her twice.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano

[betplom]

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

[englishmike]

Ralph Lauren wears Chuck Norris shades.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

[poetwarrior41]

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

I spit beer all over my computer..............!!! ****ing hilarious!

[betplom]

Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

[betplom]

This was one of my favourites:

The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Chuck Norris eats.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

[betplom]

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

[betplom]

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

[betplom]

Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

[englishmike]

Chucks girlfriend asked him for 5 grand for a boob job. ‘You must be fookin joking,’ said Chuck,‘Just fold up some toilet paper and rub it up and down your cleavage.’
‘Will that make my boobs bigger?’ his girlfriend asked, ‘I don’t see why not’ said Chuck, Look what it’s done for your ass.’

[betplom]

Go to Google and type in "Find Chuck Norris" Then Click "I'm Feeling Lucky"