Chuck Norris is 71 today. Wish him well with statements of awesomeness.

[dxunchuk]

Chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

[stogies]

age dont creep up on chuck norris. chuck norris creeps up on age.

[GoCougs!]

Everyday is Chuck's birthday.

[Conan]

Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masterbate.

[JW Cash]

Chuck Norris could beat Arnold with both hands tied behind his back........

[Conan]

Chuck Norris once played with LEGOs the great wall of China was the result.

[Full Time Hobo]

Chuck Norris Can believe its not butter.

[vill]

Chuck is a legend now

[aldonasak]

Chuck was my childhood hero.

[rossta4i]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

[Glitch]

Chuck Norris was born in a house he built with his bare hands.

[JMobile]

*Chuck Norris doesn't walk around a group of people, he walks through them.

*Only Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

*If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck still has more money than you.

*Bret Favre can throw a football 65 yards far. Chuck Norris can throw Bret Favre even further.

[Muscles]

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

[cant call it]

Rosa parks never left her seat because she was saving it for chuck norris.

[odtw524]

I cannot believe he is 71 already thats crazy!!!

[JMobile]

*When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris can eat soup with chopsticks.

*Chuck Norris dug his way to the moon.

*When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

[danso]

chuck norris doesn't have birthdays.. birthdays have chuck norrises

[charlesbroccoli]

i remember watching texas ranger....and realizing that chuck norris never got hit....not once.

the power of chuck norris

[Monitor-Tan]

Wow holy crap is he really over 70.. Time sure does fly... Lets get some chuck jokes goin

[Conan]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got it.

[onizuka]

Chuck Norris, living legend!

[keenecharger21]

There's no such thing as a birthday to chuck Norris

[cant call it]

And on the 7th day, god said "please do not roundhouse me, Chuck Norris"

[Sanka]

Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.

Once...

[Sanka]

Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

[Sanka]

Chuck Norris won the WSOP using Pokemon cards.

[JMobile]

*When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders!

*Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

*Chuck Norris ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

*Chuck Norris got his driver license at the age of 16, seconds!

[19th Hole]

Chuck Norris couldn't beat
that opossum off of his head.

[Conan]

Once Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loded gun and won.

[JMobile]

*Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

*Chuck Norris uses Tabasco sauce instead of Visine.

*Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

[PoweRay]

Good thread! hehe

[PoweRay]

Happy Birthday Chucky!

[JW Cash]

chuckie norris is da bomb......the sedins couldnt shine his shoes......know what i am saying

[aldonasak]

chuck is my legend now.

[JMobile]

*Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

*Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

*Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass….at night.