Chuck Norris is 71 today. Wish him well with statements of awesomeness.

[blackbeSSt]

There used to be a street named Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

[cant call it]

Chuck norris does not do push ups. He pushes the earth down.

[cant call it]

When the boogie man goes to bed at night he checks the closet for chuck norris.

[cant call it]

Chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

[blackbeSSt]

[cant call it]

Chuck norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck norris counted to Infinity twice.

[blackbeSSt]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.

[katstale]

He fought Bruce Lee and lived.

[Fishhead]

Chuck Norris eats nails

[cant call it]

Chuck Norris eats nails

and craps anvils

[LChruscial85]

30. The number of roundhouse kicks Chuck Norris just did while you were reading this sentence

[LChruscial85]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits

[Doc JS]

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas...

[moses millsap]

chuck norris is the f'n man, hope he lives to 101

[TexansFan]

[blackbeSSt]

l oh f'in l

[Geary22]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

[Dad]

Once while he was walking in the mountians, Chuck norris got bitten by a verry poisonous snake. after a week of excruciating pain, the snake died.

[BRAVES1985]

Once while he was walking in the mountians, Chuck norris got bitten by a verry poisonous snake. after a week of excruciating pain, the snake died.

[JoeVig]

Chuck doesn't always drink beer. But when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.

[Jimmy Proffett]

When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're actually walking through Chuck Norris's living room.

[Turd Ferguson]

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he left, they were just called The Islands.

[Dad]

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he left, they were just called The Islands.

[I/O]

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman.

Over the phone

[Full Time Hobo]

Chuck Norris's tears are the cure for cancer... Too bad he never cries.

[downsouth]

[juuso]

Happy Birthday Chuck Norris!

[superwerewolf6]

chuck norris uppercutted his horse cause he wanted a giraffe for a pet.

[Jericholic]

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong once had a who has more testicles contest. Chuck Norris won.....by 3.

[mr. leisure]

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he left, they were just called The Islands.

Fantastic !

Chuck rules

[Robust]

chuck norris can kick everyones ass here today.. but that isn't any big news.. hehe

happy b-day chuck!

Robust

[EasyCover]

Chuck Norriss bowls overhand. That is one awesome dude.

[raidersfan]

nice battle, i think abe won.

[tenbas]

Holy crab, 71?! So focking old! I can't comprehend this lol.

[blackbeSSt]

reading comprehension people! i made this thread on his birthday............almost 3 months ago