Are u on acid?
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No, it's real lol.
But I do love this very much.
I'll let you know when it happens.Comment -
I love it when three hot girls with a very cool dude keep stomping around drunk cursing and buzzing my apartment to see if I'll answer the door for them. The pounding on the door to get me to move quickly was a classic and pro touch. "We don't have time to wait for you to change your penetrating clothes, STEVE and if you aren't wearing any because we're drunk? Too bad champ. Answer it in your penetrating boxers NOW! Because we are drunk. And YOU are going to do what WE tell you to EVERY penetrating time, bitch." I get the mentality and I LOVE it. As long as I'm not in the middle of something absolutely urgent and I am here I will answer the door for you every. penetrating. Time. And if I see you're taken and he's a good guy I will NOT hit on you. I MIGHT tell you a very funny joke so you can tell your single friend I said that because the next time you have to deal with traffic, the bills, someone who was mean to you, how hard school is, how hard work is, ANYTHING I hope that joke comes to your mind and makes you want to giggle your ass off as you handle your business.
Cracking me absolutely the penetrate up.
Yes, you own me, but I can act coy if you make me, if that's what makes it more enjoyable for you.
Yes I'm funny and you're pretty penetrating FUNNY TOO.
UIRNGFUYHXRBSGDSJFNG FWRHJEVDNCUAHVoiugnuyfigneuoi3gnoiu3grno iueiwgoy8g 8oy24gf8yx4fg3r9e8ge3diuo
I am a gentleman and I will treat you with the respect you completely deserve for making this world a more enjoyable place.
Friends are ridiculously cool too, of course.
Watch us duders play bocce.
<3Comment -
how old are you steverComment -
Lol fuckin 40 man. I lost ALOT of weight from a combination of almost dying, eating just about perfectly and some working out. Ever since I almost died I'm obsessed with living just about perfectly when I'm not partying.
It's paying off, I look in my low 30's and my energy level is off the charts.
Those people pregamed by slamming expensive wine then went out who knows where got torn the penetrate up came back and decided to penetrate with ME AFTER giving me very sage real life advice advice earlier. YES.
WIN.Comment -
The best line was how it closed though:
"THANKS, STEPHEN" all foreboding and shit
"Hey, nice touch pounding on the door!" (they also buzzed my apartment repeatedly)
"Gee, thanks!" She was SMASHED
I walked outside as they walked up and laughed so hard I almost cried
Stomping around in high heels knowing I can hear it
Blasted, yelling at each other about nonsense
penetrating love it
WE'RE ALL penetrating CRAZY
I think I just heard them again
I wonder when the next "attack" is
Let me guess, after you close down the next bar
Bring it.Comment -
Wtf dude u on crack?Comment -
Steve it sounds like you are a drug dealer man.
I would remove post.Comment -
Lol they know I'm not.Comment -
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Yeah I was playing guitar on the corner at closing time of the bars to make the hotties smile. He sits next to me and feeds me Maddog. It was fun, I was loud and they were giggling. Then he gropes my trashed ass and threatens to steal my very rare and beautiful acoustic (Annabelle) after repeatedly begging me not for $1 but $20. I was too drunk to see the writing on the wall. I tell him I'm not gay and he calms down I'm like ok he could swing or whatever but he can still run wing I guess. You guys know me and how much I like to drop my videos. I rip out my phone (an expensive one - Straighttalk top of the line Galaxy) and he grabs it, chuckles at me and sprints down an alleyway. So now my new phone is I guess held up by the hurricane but wait - HOW many fulfillment centers does Amazon have? My big interview isn't until Wed. and I will get that. I wanted to land another one that's great and they're patiently waiting. That's straight mish so that's fine they're being patient and they know I'll produce.Just sick of not having a phone because I'm not buying another one for a penetrating day, that's ridiculous. You can return the phone but not service. I get it if you have ONE fulfillment center. Amazon is EVERYWHERE.
Figure it out.
Now I have to have a BIG phone interview on NFL Sunday, assuming they can make it happen tomorrow.
I was just bitching to hottie that was crazy drunk last night about it. I ended it with "penetrate 'em". She played it cool. She's in sober mode now and acting like the normal one.
We both know none of us are normal.
I hope they penetrate with me again to cheer me up. Those fuckin endorphins help.
I am MISSING STREAK FOR CASH PICKS BECAUSE OF THIS FELLAS AND I MISS MY FRIENDS NOT EVERYONE IS INSTA QUICK ON EMAILS BUT THEY ARE ON TEXTS.
Sheesh.Comment -
Alright so we have to keep track of where we're swinging and where we're not, from a journalist standpoint because we've been WAY off and reality is reality.
1) Local girl trashed buzzing apartment and pounding on door ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO HANG OUT IDIOT
2) Latina girl giving you the quick look back right as you do ASK HER A QUESTION IDIOT
3) Indian girl giving the full up and down check out then staring through your sunglasses at your eyes TALK TO HER IDIOT
4) Local girl you could tell wasn't into you but you're trashed so you still lay game and she ignores you NO MEANS NO IDIOT
We didn't get laid but we still had a win or two. Giving true mugging story to local girl - nice move. She actually cared, champ. Blondie was not a bad call, she just wasn't interested in you because she's way younger or she's taken but she did acknowledge you, didn't she. "Ghosssssst" to the taken Flyers hottie was funny but dude - don't get yourself killed her man was no joke. Way better played on the other taken hottie, she's sneaky eaky but again DON'T GET YOURSELF KILLED.
Once we get one or two of these jobs let's get back to some online dating and no Craigslist shit, we don't need to get robbed AGAIN.
Let's not forget library (since we'll be doing comedy and music there) or bar (since we'll be doing bocce there) girls either.
It'll work out, get the jobs first.Comment -
New girl I'm into is a trip
Has a BF who is clearly a douche so I don't care about eliminating him
Signals completely on and off I'm alive then dead, then alive which everyone knows is what makes me feel alive
This is the stuff that crushes me though, so funny
Her: They're not home
Me: How do you know they're not home, we haven't even hit territory yet
Her: Because I killed them
Me: (bursts out laughing)
Her: (bursts out laughing harder then very sinister smile)
GameComment -
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Flipped my digits to a hottie cashier today and told her to text me if she gets thirsty for decent beer. She appreciated it. Someone left a pair of sexy pink undies on the steps where I do laundry. I realized that could be targeted at me so I placed a box of matches from my favorite strip club next to them. A girl was very attractive at the pharmacy today so I said "I don't usually do this but you're very attractive". She smiled and said thank you. I said no - thank YOU.
Everyone got along.
I feel like my game is improving.
I really like this blonde. She is much younger than me but very, very smart. I could love her and we could have a great life, we really could. She went off on me for running a red light and it felt like she was my girlfriend. I realize how awesome that was in hindsight and how much I need someone hot as fok to do exactly that. I would do anything instantly to see her smile, it's true.
I still dig the other one but she has a boyfriend. I think he doesn't take good enough care of her at all but she's sticking with him so that's fine. We had a lot of fun drinking and she blazed and she did let me tease her all night, but we did nothing official - she blushed so hard as my hot breath was on her neck and I tugged gently at her hair like I would if I was doing her doggystyle, her boys gave me a nice handle and a couple smokes and that was much appreciated - I'm going to find a way to get them back and a LOT more. I think the blonde and I have more in common though. She ignored me then recommended me for a job but I got a different one. She did make a pro move there, very pro indeed. She looks like a supermodel, no joke and she works her ass off, and she shouldn't have to hustle that hard.
I certainly hope I hear from her sometime but I understand if I don't. She does what she wants but her Dad would be scared of me at first. If he and I talked for ten minutes or so and he should come to realize how much I can help her and his family with anything and everything ever we'd be bosom buddies, is my prediction.
Never heard from the girls who gave me the random desk. When I start playing gigs in the area I hope to see them out and look them softly in the eyes as I serenade them.
I have to be honest - it's really all a ton of fun.
They are crazy. I'm crazy. Then they're crazier. Then I'm crazier.
Fun.
Some of you know this and some don't - I had a cardiac arrest in February and legally passed for 5 minutes. My brain went and my heart and my kidneys. It was really bad, my kidneys went for three months. The meds really messed with my head, they had to strap me down in the bed and I kept trying to break out which made my arms bloody, at one point I thought I was in the game duck hunt and that every enemy from the past was trying to shoot me. My body fully recovered and now I yes do drink my beer but my diet is pretty impeccable and I do my pushups. The hospital bills are insane and I can't wait to be able to pay them. I have to pay my Father back a LOT of money because I had to live in one of those places where you go when you might pass or you might not and it was VERY expensive. Chest catheters hurt very badly as do breathing tubes. The reason I'm telling you this is my point is I'm afraid of nothing after that, so gentleman -
If you think a lady is attractive and that you could be qualified let her know in an intelligent way. Worst case scenario you get gently rejected but she will still appreciate it, if you're nice.
Cheers.
PS - if you want to get laughed at hard say to a sophisticated looking woman -
"if you're down here who is taking care of heaven"
You can say to a beautiful woman in the make up aisle
"do you have any recommendations for a serious power tranny my rack is huge at 330 am"
Trust me.Comment -
I texted this one I chilled with for awhile tonight that I would get her crew a large handle and some smokes then will softly blow away like that little sparrow in the breeze that just wasn't ready to fly yet.
She said you crack me up, crazypants.
I dig her, I really do. I can text her ridiculous sh*t all night and she will let me do it then will text me whenever once how I've been making her laugh hysterically all night. She doesn't mind, she's honestly entertained and incredibly hot. No matter what f*cked up stuff I say about her or her man she always laughs.
Look forward to seeing her again sometime, when the time is right. It's high level back and forth teasing is what it is and I doubt I'll get anywhere but things I come close to getting but just can't quite finish always inspire me to try to close the deal. I know she knows that and enjoys keeping the bar just out of reach.
We both ain't right in the head at all but it's a fun enough game.Comment -
Strange weekend. Got a DUI which sucks but before that talked to a few girls. One put her hand somewhere I won't go into detail on then disappeared into a crowd of her giggling friends. I thought that was a pro move and I very much respect it. Another one I spoke to for a bit, she likes KOL too and said they came out flat when she went to see them. I said yeah well the lead gets bored if it ain't poppin right. She agreed. I told her she had beautiful eyes. She very graciously thanked me. Another one subtly threatened to mug me and her and her friend giggled at my actually being mugged story. They were both beautiful and the whole thing was funny, and very silly.
Boys enjoy God's fruit.
We won't be here forever.Comment -
These days we're looking around to see who should go with me to sit in the luxury box to see the Kings of Leon in January. I work pretty hard at covering some of their harder stuff and I'm going to try to get at least the lead to sign my acoustic. MUCH easier said than done, the're many grammys deep and are one of the biggest bands in the world right now as well as over the past 10+ years.
We have one at a gym, a few in a college town (lol at their antics, I love it), one at a convenience store, one from a bar, a bartender, one online. They're all completely beautiful and I deeply appreciate every one. Nothing official yet. That night will be very spiritual to me as that music means a lot to me and whoever it is, we will have a very deep and cool time.
Will keep you guys posted, for now laying ground work and we'll see what's what pretty soon.
Peace.Comment -
but crazy folks lack the rationality and self awareness to recognize that they are indeed, 'crazy'
so you my brother, are sane
now get out there and live you loopy bastardComment -
Pay your debt LOSER.Comment -
Good say Statter, thank you.
It's sitting here waiting for FW at his leisure RB, as always. thanks for chiming in douche.
You wouldn't say that to me in person.
What kind of a jerkoff has 5305 points but isn't pro anyway? You know as well as anyone that SBR gives that money to a bunch of charities.
Just another selfish, keyboard warrior asshole.
Let's discuss this in person anytime, anyplace Rockbottom. No keyboards involved, then.Comment -
Again, pay your debt, unless the next thread is a lie. If so, then rock on.Comment -
Keyboards are fun, I agree.
Again, go pro and I'm waiting to hear from FW.
#beaatingadeadhorsewithmorons
Yawn.Comment -
Anyway fellas internet girl messages me smashed saying how much she likes booze then I message her to chill the next night and she messages 3 days later "sorry, just saw this" and nothing else.
Be it flaky or playing I find it funny. I messaged her two days later "sorry, just saw this"
You can tell from her pic she has a little attitude (probably a lot) on her and I like them like that, for a few reasons
Could be a fun roll in the hay or whatever, who knows.Comment -
You better be a damn good guitarist because women don't like to pay for the first date.Comment -
K cool 5305 non pro let's meet for a beer I'll buy you and both girls beers with FW's money since it looks like she's gonna keep being an e-skirt bitch and throwin garbage like you at me, which continues to be pathetic. And by she I mean the single person who looks the dumbest in a Blackhawks jersey and an awful mustache that anyone in their lives has ever seen. The cover matches the book.
No keyboards be there, though.
You in? If so you will have to sit at my table I know if you're even two tables away you'll rip out a keyboard looking for confidence.
Name date/time/place.
Let's do this.
Go pro.Comment -
Looks like this site harbors stiffs. Good for you.Comment -
What the actual fucck is going on here.
I want to meet this Steve character as he is off the fuccking rails and he sounds like a wild card.Comment -
A non pro mouthing off is all I see Mo, nothing important there.
Yeah man we'd have a blast for sure, you seem quite cool.
I'll advise when my legal shit loosens up.
Peace.Comment