Have You Ever Been Caught Masturbating or Having Sex? Be Honest

[scumbag]

if you haven't been walked in on while fcking or jerking off. you aren't doing enough of either.

[Auto Donk]

for the both of our sake. i hope you never fck some dizzy whore who i'm 'in love' with and i walk in on it. you've never encountered my level of anger and intensity (chances are you'd realize that the moment we locked eyes and do everything you could do to defuse the situation). assuming you're not retarded anyways.

that plus the whole 6'4'' 255 and does handstand pushups for fun makes me a dangerous person in such a situation.

nice, vs. my 6'3, 240 it'd be a helluva ordeal....... probably a lot of interior home damage before it's done.... nevertheless, if you'd have come rollin' in, i doubt ida thrown the "dumass" comment at you

knowing me, ida said something even more inlfamatory, such as "wow.... ur pretty big, but you obviously ain't fckkin' her right, cause she actin' like she needs dick in her life...."

and, thanks to lil wayne, we'd be brawling........

[scumbag]

nice, vs. my 6'3, 240 it'd be a helluva ordeal....... probably a lot of interior home damage before it's done.... nevertheless, if you'd have come rollin' in, i doubt ida thrown the "dumass" comment at you

knowing me, ida said something even more inlfamatory, such as "wow.... ur pretty big, but you obviously ain't fckkin' her right, cause she actin' like she needs dick in her life...."

and, thanks to lil wayne, we'd be brawling........

lolz.

never really got the whole 'big dick' thing. as someone who likes to take unusual positions i've brought this up in social settings before (when someone else brought the subject up first).

conversation goes like this.

them- something something big dick

me- on behalf of men with mediocre penis' the world over, i've never understood whole 'big dick fascination'. i have a couple of theories on this before and we get to my wild theories let me ask everyone here a few questions.

at this point you break out your two fingers and say, "men, we've all gotten women to *** with these two fingers, right? women, you've all gotten off by these two fingers, right?"

"men, if your dick is bigger than these two fingers, i'd say you're good to go." i guess it help that my fingers are long.

sometimes there will be some moron who doubles down on her initial position. at which point the ole, "damn, your pussy is in such a beleaguered state you need me to fck you with my arm? crazy shit..."

many times you'll end up fcking this same girl who now must prove to you that her pussy isn't beat up.

other times you'll wind up fcking a different girl in the room who's impressed with the confidence that comes with telling everyone, "ya, i have an average dick, what of it?"

[Auto Donk]

fuckin' a girl "right" in reality has very little to do with dick size; what lil wayne and i are both referring to is any woman looking to fck other men isn't gettin' what she needs; usually it's a lack of respect for her guy if she's f'n around ..... or they just aren't getting along; very rarely is it b/c she needs a bigger dick.........

if you're woman's cheating on u, she just 1. doesn't respect u any more, or 2. doesn't like you and wants someone else, big, medium or small

[packerd_00]

i'm quite certain had i not known, absolutely known, that I could handle his broken-hearted ass, I probably wouldn't have dropped "dumbass" on him, and I'd probably not taken near the amount of time getting dressed that I did........

there aren't many men on this planet that would make me get dressed fast, scumbag.......

Gotta be careful f@cking guys wives,you may end up getting your head blown off.

[scumbag]

fuckin' a girl "right" in reality has very little to do with dick size; what lil wayne and i are both referring to is any woman looking to fck other men isn't gettin' what she needs; usually it's a lack of respect for her guy if she's f'n around ..... or they just aren't getting along; very rarely is it b/c she needs a bigger dick.........

if you're woman's cheating on u, she just 1. doesn't respect u any more, or 2. doesn't like you and wants someone else, big, medium or small

agreed.

[packerd_00]

Seaweed's granny caught him and the giant in the act...fukking unreal

Poor bitch probably had a coronary.

[Auto Donk]

Gotta be careful f@cking guys wives,you may end up getting your head blown off.

good thing I'm not in the market...... last 20-30 times I was fckin' guys' wives, it was with their h's approval..... swingers on couplestouch.com in h town...... Tho a few weren't mentally equipped to handle their wives enjoying it as much as they did..... one guy even grabbed a golf club and acted like he might hit us both..... until I looked him dead in the eye with a glare that made his blood run cold and put away the club instanter....

[jayfly]

lmao donk, please post pics of yourself.

[Auto Donk]

there's several of them up already.... even one of me piping some hott wife (her husband took it). jj warned me not post nudes.... some, including the aforementioned photo, are in the thread by jj about "texas having the best sbr posters" or somehting like that....

jjs back to vegas video thread has some in it as well, I think........ search "auto donk or autodonk" and "does this look like a guy who needs protection"...... or "autodonk need protection" and some should come up

edit: it was actually on the wsop trny schedule announcement thread:

Originally Posted by jjgold
Auto Donk if we meet I promise I will not hurt you I'm a teddy bear in person. I also will not demand any sort of protectionfee while you're in Vegas let's say $100. I think you're a good man



does this look like a guy who needs to pay for "protection" in Vegas.... Nobody ever fcks with me when I'm there:

r-sherri lake.jpg

Last edited by Auto Donk; 02-07-15 at 01:10 PM. Reason: p.s. i expect to be in the running for "best lookin' poster" next year....

Nomination(s):

This post was nominated 1 time . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: Russian Rocket

[louisvillekid]

never technically been caught masturbating, been caught having sex a few times n the past by either the girls parent or a friend. have been rooster blocked by a cop 2 diff times, one when I was 16 another around 27-28, both times at a park, be making out n a cop roll up and tell u park is closed.

[tony_come]

I don't want to talk about it!