Have You Ever Been Caught Masturbating or Having Sex? Be Honest

[Seaweed]

Just curious. If yes, how did you deal with the situation?

[sneakerhead]

Did your gramma catch you jaggin off?

[Seaweed]

Did your gramma catch you jaggin off?

No. Of course not.

I want to hear stories of how it was handled.

Can you imagine being caught?

[boeing power]

This masked masturbater is known to masturbate at various Tim Hortons in Toronto.

if you see him call crime stoppers or gauge your eyes out....tough call

[MoMoneyMoVaughn]

By who lol?

I grew up with siblings, both of which walked on me having sex countless times when I was in High school. Occasionally it was a sibling's friend.

Nothing was ever mentioned. The girls were usually the ones freaking out. Something about my younger brother seeing what they looked like naked was bothersome. I always just pretended it never happened.

[Fidel_CashFlow]

shitty thread and all
doesn't change my feelings on how cool your dog is though Seaweeds

[boomer62]

Just curious. If yes, how did you deal with the situation?

YOU ARE A JERK OFF, LMAO. penetrating RETART

[boomer62]

That's FUKING RETART!

[Auto Donk]

shitty thread and all
doesn't change my feelings on how cool your dog is though Seaweeds

wow, i agree, my opinion of him just went up now that I see how he and his dog roll..... my apologies for the comments on what a complete fckin' tool you looked like with that stupid mask on in your "return to sbr" photo.......

Your dog can completely pull of the look, so as long as you're rolling with him down the side walk, both sporting the masks, him on his leash and you pulling your pud, I guess u can pull it off..... (the look, not your pud)

[Auto Donk]

YOU ARE A JERK OFF, LMAO. penetrating RETART

this little treasure from the dumbass who told me to "grow up" in my FIFTY SHADES OF DONK thread....... lol

[Auto Donk]

as for the original question:

funny story, from back in my law school days..... hooked up with a young married chick who i didn't know was married at the time of the hookup (but i did kind of suspect it as she didn't want to meet in the evening, but rather during the day).... went to her place, was TAGGIN away in the living room, when she hears his car pulling in for a surprise visit home -- clearly, I think this dickhead knew his wife was a cheating ho and somehow knew she was going to be meeting some dude, who just happened to be me......

she starts frantically whispering, "get in my closet!!! get in my closet!!!! Hide!!!!" And rather than hide, I slowly start getting dressed, pissed that I had not gotten to bust a nut yet..... and said, "I don't do closets, and I don't hide.... looks like you're gettin busted."

she pleads for me to hide for about another split second, and the dude is there..... sees me still 3/4 aroused through the skivs I'd just pulled up, and he starts yelling at her..... and asks me "and what the fck are you doing here?!?!??!" I say, "obviously, I'm fukking your wife who's cheating on you, dumbass! Not that it's gonna make any difference, but I didn't know about you or that she was married. But if you got a fckn' problem, it better be with her, not me!!!"

As i'm now half dressed, and having just pulled on my boots in leisurely fashion, as i pick up my keys and start to button my shirt, I say, "Well, I'm gonna leave you two alone, as you've obviously got some talkin' to do"..... and I stroll right on out the front door, never looked back, never heard shit from either of them...........

[Big Bear]

shitty thread and all
doesn't change my feelings on how cool your dog is though Seaweeds

that right there is fukkin hilarious!

[Big Bear]

as for the original question:

funny story, from back in my law school days..... hooked up with a young married chick who i didn't know was married at the time of the hookup (but i did kind of suspect it as she didn't want to meet in the evening, but rather during the day).... went to her place, was TAGGIN away in the living room, when she hears his car pulling in for a surprise visit home -- clearly, I think this dickhead knew his wife was a cheating ho and somehow knew she was going to be meeting some dude, who just happened to be me......

she starts frantically whispering, "get in my closet!!! get in my closet!!!! Hide!!!!" And rather than hide, I slowly start getting dressed, pissed that I had not gotten to bust a nut yet..... and said, "I don't do closets, and I don't hide.... looks like you're gettin busted."

she pleads for me to hide for about another split second, and the dude is there..... sees me still 3/4 aroused through the skivs I'd just pulled up, and he starts yelling at her..... and asks me "and what the fck are you doing here?!?!??!" I say, "obviously, I'm fukking your wife who's cheating on you, dumbass! Not that it's gonna make any difference, but I didn't know about you or that she was married. But if you got a fckn' problem, it better be with her, not me!!!"

As i'm now half dressed, and having just pulled on my boots in leisurely fashion, as i pick up my keys and start to button my shirt, I say, "Well, I'm gonna leave you two alone, as you've obviously got some talkin' to do"..... and I stroll right on out the front door, never looked back, never heard shit from either of them...........

damn thats crazy.

you are lucky he wasn't black.

[Sdotbold]

Yeah donk that sounds like it went pretty well considering the situation. Lol

[TheMoneyShot]

At high school parties... who hasn't walked in on someone getting a BJ?

[packerd_00]

At high school parties... who hasn't walked in on someone getting a BJ?

Everyones f@ckin loaded anyway.

[Auto Donk]

Yeah donk that sounds like it went pretty well considering the situation. Lol

well, it didn't hurt that he was only about 5'10, 160, and I'm 6'3 225 and, at that time in lawschool, ripped.... Quite certain he WANTED to beat the shit out of me, but knew better than to try.......

Can't say the same for some married chick's dude who came home to his ESTRANGED wife's home in bryan, texas, at 2:00 a.m. to say he was sorry for all he'd done wrong, only to find my car parked out front and me inside bangin' his wife, who I'd picked up at the infamous Dixie Chicken during my days at A&M undergraduate.......

he proceeded to rip my car antenna off, which raised the Ire of Donk a good bit, I went from "fuk mode" to "beat the shit outta a oil-patch roughneck" mode in about .25 seconds upon seeing him start to try and dismantle the parts of the piece of shit college ride I was rollin' in at the time.....

I came bustin' out of her little frame house and started kicking some ass... ONE WORD OF CAUTION to all who plan to fight a mad, married husband: THOSE FCKERS WILL PUT UP ONE HELLUVA FIGHT!!!! Be it pride, anger, fury over what the bitch he loves, or at least at one point loved, you will be in for one hellacious fight..... I had him outsized, but whether it was the rage or the experience as a tough roughneck, it took me a full five minutes before he lost consciousness and ultimately had to be hauled away by a Bryan meatwagon when he wasn't responding...... And he got the assault charge, I wasn't charged at all by the cops! I took a few shots, still one of the baddest ass fights I was ever in........

[compaqDikk]

jjgold caught me whacking off in his toolshed a few years ago

[tony_come]

Yes. I don't want to talk about it

[Big Bear]

you know there are some chicks out there with a fetish for being walked in on.

trust me i met one... this girl was bat shit crazy... all kinds of mental issues with her. she loved playing games with dudes too

[marcoloco]

[Auto Donk]

[scumbag]

as for the original question:

funny story, from back in my law school days..... hooked up with a young married chick who i didn't know was married at the time of the hookup (but i did kind of suspect it as she didn't want to meet in the evening, but rather during the day).... went to her place, was TAGGIN away in the living room, when she hears his car pulling in for a surprise visit home -- clearly, I think this dickhead knew his wife was a cheating ho and somehow knew she was going to be meeting some dude, who just happened to be me......

she starts frantically whispering, "get in my closet!!! get in my closet!!!! Hide!!!!" And rather than hide, I slowly start getting dressed, pissed that I had not gotten to bust a nut yet..... and said, "I don't do closets, and I don't hide.... looks like you're gettin busted."

she pleads for me to hide for about another split second, and the dude is there..... sees me still 3/4 aroused through the skivs I'd just pulled up, and he starts yelling at her..... and asks me "and what the fck are you doing here?!?!??!" I say, "obviously, I'm fukking your wife who's cheating on you, dumbass! Not that it's gonna make any difference, but I didn't know about you or that she was married. But if you got a fckn' problem, it better be with her, not me!!!"

As i'm now half dressed, and having just pulled on my boots in leisurely fashion, as i pick up my keys and start to button my shirt, I say, "Well, I'm gonna leave you two alone, as you've obviously got some talkin' to do"..... and I stroll right on out the front door, never looked back, never heard shit from either of them...........

this is why i don't do love. i would have beaten the both of you with in an inch of your life.

and the moment you called me a dumbass would be the last words you spoke for a long time. i'd instantly break your jaw. then get to smacking that whore around.

[Russian Rocket]

this is why i don't do love. i would have beaten the both of you with in an inch of your life.

and the moment you called me a dumbass would be the last words you spoke for a long time. i'd instantly break your jaw. then get to smacking that whore around.

scumbag that's a lot of violence comrade
let's drink some camomile tea and settle down

[Auto Donk]

this is why i don't do love. i would have beaten the both of you with in an inch of your life.

and the moment you called me a dumbass would be the last words you spoke for a long time. i'd instantly break your jaw. then get to smacking that whore around.

i'm quite certain had i not known, absolutely known, that I could handle his broken-hearted ass, I probably wouldn't have dropped "dumbass" on him, and I'd probably not taken near the amount of time getting dressed that I did........

there aren't many men on this planet that would make me get dressed fast, scumbag.......

[scumbag]

scumbag that's a lot of violence comrade
let's drink some camomile tea and settle down

just thinking about such a scenario sends me into a fit of rage. if i was ever dumb enough to love someone and that cun.t was even dumber and fcked some dude and i walked in on it, zero chance i control myself.

and if the fcking dude had the nerve to run his mouth. he's instantly getting destroyed. i'd punch him in the throat as hard as i could, kick him dead in the nuts as hard as i could, then start smashing his face in with my right elbow as hard as i could until he was no longer recognizable.

by the time i'm done with that jerkoff i hope the whore has run off so i don't wind up killing two people.

easier for people like me not to love at all (well maybe love a little) but i'd never love someone completely because i don't want to be forced to kill if i made the mistake of loving some dizzy fcking whore.

if you barely love, it's easy to walk away, but if you love completely... some crazy shit's going happen if you walk in on the whore you love getting fcked.

maybe i'm going a bit overboard here though. i'd never love a stupid person and only a stupid person would do this (knowing my level of intensity).

moral of the story, don't love stupid, suicidal whores. if you do, you're likely to wind up in prison for a long time.

clearly i need therapy.

[JMon]

shitty thread and all
doesn't change my feelings on how cool your dog is though Seaweeds

[scumbag]

i'm quite certain had i not known, absolutely known, that I could handle his broken-hearted ass, I probably wouldn't have dropped "dumbass" on him, and I'd probably not taken near the amount of time getting dressed that I did........

there aren't many men on this planet that would make me get dressed fast, scumbag.......

for the both of our sake. i hope you never fck some dizzy whore who i'm 'in love' with and i walk in on it. you've never encountered my level of anger and intensity (chances are you'd realize that the moment we locked eyes and do everything you could do to defuse the situation). assuming you're not retarded anyways.

that plus the whole 6'4'' 255 and does handstand pushups for fun makes me a dangerous person in such a situation.

[CantFeelMyFace]

Back in high school I was nailing my girlfriend in her room when we were home alone. I'd been with her about a month and her parents were divorced and her dad lived out of town. I had never met her dad yet. He decided to pop in for a surprise visit. We didn't hear him come in the front door and he came to the bedroom door and he did one of those knocking on the door but opening it at the same time bs only to find me on top of his 15 year old daughter going to town on that puzzy. I jumped off of her fast as hell and fell on the floor and grabbed a sheet.

He was super pissed off and she had to beg him not to kick the shyt out of me. I was just a 5'7" 130 lb 16 year old at the time and he was like 6'2" and pretty solid. What a Boner kill. Anyways, her mom came home and calmed her dad down. Her mom was really cool and laughing about it. Anyways, later that night we went out to dinner with her family and it was the most akward night of my life. Her dad sat there giving me the death stare the whole night and wouldn't even eat his food and her other family members didn't know wtf was going on except her mom. The best part was, I had the condom on my fukking rooster the WHOLE time hahahaha. I never had a chance to remove that shyt after I got caught and kinda forgot about it till I had to take a piss after dinner. Hilarious.

Fast forward to a couple months later. I actually got cool with her dad and we BBQ'd and he would give me beers and we would watch football together. Damn I miss my high school days.

[scumbag]

^^^^second post in 3 years. when you got something to say that shit is funny.

[ArchieBunker]

Holy shit another dumb thread told you years ago the Leafs are crappy

[Russian Rocket]

Back in high school I was nailing my girlfriend in her room when we were home alone. I'd been with her about a month and her parents were divorced and her dad lived out of town. I had never met her dad yet. He decided to pop in for a surprise visit. We didn't hear him come in the front door and he came to the bedroom door and he did one of those knocking on the door but opening it at the same time bs only to find me on top of his 15 year old daughter going to town on that puzzy. I jumped off of her fast as hell and fell on the floor and grabbed a sheet.

He was super pissed off and she had to beg him not to kick the shyt out of me. I was just a 5'7" 130 lb 16 year old at the time and he was like 6'2" and pretty solid. What a Boner kill. Anyways, her mom came home and calmed her dad down. Her mom was really cool and laughing about it. Anyways, later that night we went out to dinner with her family and it was the most akward night of my life. Her dad sat there giving me the death stare the whole night and wouldn't even eat his food and her other family members didn't know wtf was going on except her mom. The best part was, I had the condom on my fukking rooster the WHOLE time hahahaha. I never had a chance to remove that shyt after I got caught and kinda forgot about it till I had to take a piss after dinner. Hilarious.

Fast forward to a couple months later. I actually got cool with her dad and we BBQ'd and he would give me beers and we would watch football together. Damn I miss my high school days.

you need to post more

[ArchieBunker]

My guess your next thread you will admit that was you and Alfred in the video you made months ago when you lost your cherry to get attention.

[ttwarrior1]

3 times

[Booya711]

Seaweed's granny caught him and the giant in the act...fukking unreal