Your longest pee on record?

[armyoflovers]

Yesterday I drank 4 powerades, two energy shots and a gallon of tap water all without urinitating in between. On top of that I was stuck in traffic for 6 hours in a bad jam so naturally my bladder almost exploded in my pants. Well I had enough, dismounted my vehicle in traffic, jumped the guard rail, dropped my trousers and let out this infuriating yelp of both pleasure and pain. Anyway I finished peeing almost nine minutes later. I think I couldve drowned a sequoia tree with the amount of piss eminating from my fire hose.

So, whats your longest pee pee on record?

And a bonus question (ding ding!).....have you ever tried to stand back as far as you can from the toilet and see how far away you can pee into the john without missing? I once had 14 feet 4 inches....anyone topping that?

[pavyracer]

Where do you live that there is a 6 hour traffic jam on a Saturday?

[armyoflovers]

Where do you live that there is a 6 hour traffic jam on a Saturday? <IMG class=inlineimg title="+clueless 1+" border=0 alt="" src="/images/smilies/+clueless-1+.gif">

In Germany on Autobahn 5 (A5)....going towards Munich. Its bloody murder. And that pee was better than sex, it was an orgasmic refief.

[armyoflovers]

come on, doesnt anyone around here pee?

[compaqDikk]

i usually just piss on the floor and don't aim for records

[armyoflovers]

Where do you live that there is a 6 hour traffic jam on a Saturday?

i usually just piss on the floor and don't aim for records

thats gross, bro. but i admit i go into mcdonalds bathrooms and pee in the sink, even when people are awaiting a hand wash.

[Nicky Santoro]

i swear no one at sbr has a bigger bladder than me.. i piss 2 times a day.. i can drink 6 coffees, 3 cokes in 5 hrs and still not piss.

my longest pee took place on June 1987.. i will never forget.. i was at an expos game and i drank 6 beers and hadn't pissed since the morning.. when we left stadium, it took us 1.5 hrs to get out cause there were 50,000 fans.. there was no washroom.. when i finally made it, wow, what a feeling.. it was a 1 min 29 piss.. wow.. best piss ever

and i also have a huge colon.. i crap 1 time a week only but some great sized craps i have.. my longest crap happened on vacation in boston with my buddies.. i swear i had eaten shit for 4 days.. just mcd's and pizza.. it happened on July 1984 on my final day at the motel.. a 26 inch log that wrapped around the bowl 4x without breaking.. i left it there for the maid on the last day.. i swear she went in the room, then ran out with her face covered.. my friends loved it.. what a great scene..

[Robyn]

Be very careful armyoflowers. People actually drown their organs and die by consuming too much liquid. I would hate for you to die. That would make me sad.

[tacomax]

onner - how about you and nicky have a drink as much water as you can contest?

[pavyracer]

In Germany on Autobahn 5 (A5)....going towards Munich. Its bloody murder. And that pee was better than sex, it was an orgasmic refief.

Are you German armyoflovers?

[BGS 9.5]

Having a problem with a 9 minute piss, come on man.......

[obamaismyuncle]

Well not sure how long it was, but once drank 3 beers (12 oz cans) in between the time I started to urinate and the time I finished unrinating.

[paTroons]

[armyoflovers]

no im not german - unfortunately, im american....i work for the CIA

[armyoflovers]

i swear no one at sbr has a bigger bladder than me.. i piss 2 times a day.. i can drink 6 coffees, 3 cokes in 5 hrs and still not piss.

my longest pee took place on June 1987.. i will never forget.. i was at an expos game and i drank 6 beers and hadn't pissed since the morning.. when we left stadium, it took us 1.5 hrs to get out cause there were 50,000 fans.. there was no washroom.. when i finally made it, wow, what a feeling.. it was a 1 min 29 piss.. wow.. best piss ever

and i also have a huge colon.. i crap 1 time a week only but some great sized craps i have.. my longest crap happened on vacation in boston with my buddies.. i swear i had eaten shit for 4 days.. just mcd's and pizza.. it happened on July 1984 on my final day at the motel.. a 26 inch log that wrapped around the bowl 4x without breaking.. i left it there for the maid on the last day.. i swear she went in the room, then ran out with her face covered.. my friends loved it.. what a great scene..

26 inches! jesus christ thats twice as long as my chode. thats loooooooooooong

[RageWizard]

Be very careful armyoflowers. People actually drown their organs and die by consuming too much liquid. I would hate for you to die. That would make me sad.

Well when I was in the Army way the eff back in the very late 80's. I drank a shitload of water trying to get over on the piss test. I did, and they never caught me with the KGB in my system. At every piss test, I would cut loose for about 2 minutes, fill up the piss cup, spill some before I give it to the test administrator, then piss for another 5 minutes at least. I heard about a dude using my method and dying from too much water, but that didn't stop me from doing it because you have to do what you gotta do to get over on the test.

[armyoflovers]

i would rather die then come up hot on a piss test, too....

[fsugolf]

who makes records while they pee for distance?

[BeatTheJerk]

26 inches! jesus christ thats three times as long as my chode. thats loooooooooooong

[Richkas]

3 minutes

[Richkas]

i swear no one at sbr has a bigger bladder than me.. i piss 2 times a day.. i can drink 6 coffees, 3 cokes in 5 hrs and still not piss.

my longest pee took place on June 1987.. i will never forget.. i was at an expos game and i drank 6 beers and hadn't pissed since the morning.. when we left stadium, it took us 1.5 hrs to get out cause there were 50,000 fans.. there was no washroom.. when i finally made it, wow, what a feeling.. it was a 1 min 29 piss.. wow.. best piss ever

and i also have a huge colon.. i crap 1 time a week only but some great sized craps i have.. my longest crap happened on vacation in boston with my buddies.. i swear i had eaten shit for 4 days.. just mcd's and pizza.. it happened on July 1984 on my final day at the motel.. a 26 inch log that wrapped around the bowl 4x without breaking.. i left it there for the maid on the last day.. i swear she went in the room, then ran out with her face covered.. my friends loved it.. what a great scene..

It takes me a 12 pack of beer before I can piss.

[armyoflovers]

Having a problem with a 9 minute piss, come on man.......

dude i peed straight through, 9 mins, no break at all....it hurt so bad in the beginning that it was coming out in a small stream....it was a steady 9 min piss, i prob couldve filled up a bathtub full of urine man, i washed away a hillside with my piss volume.

[armyoflovers]

3 minutes

thats respectable man, mad props to you for such a sustained pee.

[armyoflovers]

Be very careful armyoflowers. People actually drown their organs and die by consuming too much liquid. I would hate for you to die. That would make me sad.

yea i know, who else would you masturbate to? surely not JJ....

my next piss is devoted to you, robyn...

[louisvillekid]

And a bonus question (ding ding!).....have you ever tried to stand back as far as you can from the toilet and see how far away you can pee into the john without missing? I once had 14 feet 4 inches....anyone topping that?

i don't know the actual distance of my longest pee, but it is funny you brought it up.
I remember in elementary school, probably 4th, maybe 3rd grade, we would have pissing contests in the restrooms for who could piss the longest.
Basically we would stand at one end of the long urinal troth and try and piss over it and hit the 1st stall door. And if someone was pissing really far or known to be able to piss far , they would start back at the closet sink to the urinal and if needed keep moving back to the next sink and so forth.

who's idea it was i have no idea, but i do remember us wagering on it for nickels and dimes. And we got busted once and all got lined up in the hall and got paddled.

we got busted by the janitor/maintenance man, dude was a hippy looking dude, picture a cross between Schneider from One Day At a Time and Tommy Chong.

[armyoflovers]

i don't know the actual distance of my longest pee, but it is funny you brought it up.
I remember in elementary school, probably 4th, maybe 3rd grade, we would have pissing contests in the restrooms for who could piss the longest.
Basically we would stand at one end of the long urinal troth and try and piss over it and hit the 1st stall door. And if someone was pissing really far or known to be able to piss far , they would start back at the closet sink to the urinal and if needed keep moving back to the next sink and so forth.

who's idea it was i have no idea, but i do remember us wagering on it for nickels and dimes. And we got busted once and all got lined up in the hall and got paddled.

we got busted by the janitor/maintenance man, dude was a hippy looking dude, picture a cross between Schneider from One Day At a Time and Tommy Chong.

lol thats funny and gross. Pretty nasty peeing on doors you sick bastard.

Hey, were you all measuring your pee-pee sizes as well, I mean some 3rd graders actually do have big penile vipers, right? I dont remember so pls fill me in, id like to know....

[sickler]

I once pissed from the top of a twenty story high-rise.

It was a long way down.

[Robyn]

yea i know, who else would you masturbate to? surely not JJ....

my next piss is devoted to you, robyn...

I am honored.

[armyoflovers]

so i did devote my next piss to you robyn, and, well, it was a four-second dribbler, kind of pathetic...hey sorry but that thats what it was...

i have almost 1/10th of your posts, robyn..were meant for each other....

[Robyn]

Why do I have a feeling that your posts + your other ID's posts = more than mine or at least very close?



p.s. I like a man who can do math.

[armyoflovers]

Why do I have a feeling that your posts + your other ID's posts = more than mine or at least very close?



p.s. I like a man who can do math.

other id? youve got the wrong person, theres only one of me, hon.....

[pavyracer]

Why do I have a feeling that your posts + your other ID's posts = more than mine or at least very close?



p.s. I like a man who can do math.

He is an american spy in germany.

[Nicky Santoro]

It takes me a 12 pack of beer before I can piss.

boy, that is really impressive.. you're better than me.. those pees must be very long.

army,

no way you pee for 9 minutes. i pee 2-3 times a day only and they are long and i swear, they are always around 1 min long, at best..and i usually weigh myself before and after the pee and i am always 1 lb lighter after the pee.. so if you pee for 9 minutes, then you are saying you lose 9 lbs?

boy, you must be thin as a pole.

[Justin7]

I once nailed a fly on a rock at LEAST 20 feet away. Man, was he surprised.

[armyoflovers]

boy, that is really impressive.. you're better than me.. those pees must be very long.

army,

no way you pee for 9 minutes. i pee 2-3 times a day only and they are long and i swear, they are always around 1 min long, at best..and i usually weigh myself before and after the pee and i am always 1 lb lighter after the pee.. so if you pee for 9 minutes, then you are saying you lose 9 lbs?

boy, you must be thin as a pole.

Nicky,

Yea bro im not sure how much pee weight I lost but it was somewhere between 7-9 pounds of piss. I was ****ing humming at it, nice steady stream cascading down the hily embankment which lead into a river mouth. I was 201 before and 193 or so after, I lost 4 pant sizes in the process.

I mean the thing is youre telling me that if you pissed a pound of piss a minute that you discharge an ounce of unrination every 4 seconds, thats pretty impressive I would say. But tell me this - how much do your turds weigh? I mean do you step on/off scale pre/post turd? I once had a shit cluster scrape out of my bunghole and it looked like some asteroid from outer space, the sucker weighed 8 lbs, easy. It was like giving birth to a child, man...I still walk bow-legged to this day.