Have Never Been More Depressed than I am this Morning

[PittsburghPlayer]

my life is over, has been for almost 5 years now, to stupid (trusting) to see what they were doing

have life by the balls in the eyes of many, until I open my mouth and the pain/hurt flows ..., I used to say to my Mother, "I am the luckiest man alive".
Nice, looking back that had to make her feel good/loved.

so why is my family after doing what they did to her, victim blaming/shaming me to death? This morning I listened to 2 separate talk-show concerning bullying and now I am lower than ever, the msg received by me for years now is that my Mothers and now my life are meaningless and that they can gang assault both her and me, until/to death

a fukking hero in the eyes of God and my Mother, and these fukkers know that I am on the edge of life by the notes I left on their car 2 months ago
last month I spray painted their sidewalk/garage door in front of security cameras

so I have to endure a life-sentence as my Mom did? lies to DRs/Judges - I am a fukking hero, the Courts know it and that is the only reason I was not in prison after my Moms death.
My family threatened me w/ prison with Court papers 3 days after her passing.


Who the fukk does this and why isn`t anyone stopping them. Spray painted the words "Polygraph Exam" and other shit, screaming that someone is suffering. NOTHING, they want me dead. This is evil.


yeah, couldn't keep $ in the bank last year because of a hateful Judgement against me by my brother, so a pal helped himself to 17k
you would think that would be enough for him or someone to put a bullet in my head, but no


this is CRIMINAL AS FUKK, needs to end THIS MINUTE, but it will not





nothing at all anymore to look forward to, but hate/pain

[HAPPY BOY]

very helter skelter not enough to know whats going on..seems your family is blaming you for your mothers death???

[Demonata]

Hang in there buddy.

[PittsburghPlayer]

can`t stop crying D

I mean I do but then I start again

went to see a Judge I know last week, in open Court he said that he was unable to help me concerning my voicemails and accepted my apology for cursing in 2 of the msgs

took a long look at my .357 for a couple days after, heard a couple good tunes ...
more like a 100, but who`s counting, got rid of that a couple days ago


walk to cemetery to see my pal Rick, died on my b`day 2007


biggest reason I did not pull trigger? no will in place, no kids so never gave a fukk about my shit going to the family, or charity or the landfill

2 things, anyone ever questioned them this would be over in a minute
secondly, Warren Zevon just came on the radio

day a little brighter

thnx

[Sanity Check]

Its hard to think of negative things.

Is there anything you feel thankful for and are lucky to have in life?

What type of life would your mom want you to be living right now, bro?

People will always suck in some regard. But the things they do, the poor choices they make, define them. More than it does you.

[Bostongambler]

I cannot change the inevitable. The only thing I can change is attitude. Life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.”

[cincinnatikid513]

get a good lawyer

[konck]

Crack?

[Otters27]

Pittsburgh. I hope thing work out for you. Sorry to hear your struggles. Listen to Cincinnati. I'm praying for you pal

[Big Bear]

find joy in the little things

birds chirping

sunshine

nice leaves on the trees

chocolate milk shakes

etc

[Okieirish]

Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. DON'T DO IT ! There will be much better days ahead. You just have to get there.

[gojetsgomoxies]

can you explain some details of your problems? i agree on speaking to a lawyer. most do free consultations.

go to AA (even if you don't have any addiction issues).............. it's a good place to listen to others and share in alot of goodwill. it will make you feel better........

[BigdaddyQH]

I think you have a serious mental illness. You have a huge inferiority complex, a possible Oedipus complex, and you seem to be looking for an excuse to be suicidal. You should probably be admitted to a hospital that specializes in people like you. You are a danger to yourself and to others.

[PittsburghPlayer]

Not a danger to others and do not have any weapons.
You don`t know the whole story BDQH and there is no way I am going to be able to write it out here or ever until I sense there will be an end to this - by an authority stopping them.
No fukking way a man screams polygraph exam unless he is being assaulted, through the Courts, and is OUTNUMBERED by people that have LIED to DRs and Judges to protect themselves from ever answering to their CRIMES.

no going to whack myself but also not going to recover until someone stops them

the onus is not on the Victim BDQH, they brought my Mom back from Italy w an injury after not taking her to a DR and then have done nothing but commit more crimes in an effort to hide the fact

Here is the good news, as soon as someone questions them, this is over. Have a guess why after my painting over a month ago that they did not call the Police??? I do. They know I have information that will bury them, also, I don`t think anyone ever considered me screaming Polygraph Exam when they began their conspiracy 8 years ago.


BDQH, respect you to some degree, but on this, you are wrong to suggest the victim of multiple crimes ...

[PittsburghPlayer]

a couple things, told a friend yesterday a little about my dilemma and this thread and said to myself that I should not come back here for awhile, until they are done beating kicking in the heads of 1st their Mom and now me... Until I feel better, but wanted you fukkers to know I was safe
trying to be considerate, on top of the fact that I owe at least some response to questions/comments (many of you know I read threads upside down often, so BDQH is all I could do this morning (your words motivated me, so we are cool as far as I know))


Question, if your sister and psycho husband/family did that to your Mother and you, then demonized the fukk out HER and you, WEAPONIZED the Courts/Police/Medical Community/Mothers Lawyer/Banks/your Livelihood/Friends/Neighbors AGAINST your Mother and then you - ON LIES
think you might be frustrated?? Think you might cry knowing you are up against a GANG of POWERFUL people -fukking family that after 8 years will not take their boots off your neck.

most men would have responded to their Violence (Abuse of Power) with violence long ago, that is the real reason I can not whack myself OR EVER commit an act of violence - dishonors my Mother and me other negative consequences (no 6 pts a day)

you want their phone number or address bro`, thought you said that you were attached to LE a few months back
go get `em bro`, this is an INTERNATIONALLY Recognized Hate Crime

did you know that if a person tells the truth 99% of the time
that person is a Liar

[Okieirish]

Is there any way you can relocate, or are you bound by ongoing court actions to stay in that area? With friends and family like that, you don't need any enemies ! The sooner you can separate yourself from all of that , the better IMO.

[petey7979]

I'm angry too. Society has not been kind to me

[petey7979]

I'm not going to do anything though already been to prison and will just make the most of the time I have left on this earth. True success being able to be joyful and smile while going through hell. Don't let them break you

[Demonata]

Suicide never the answer. Tried to kill myself couple times playing russian roulette and jumping off a cliff. Survived, have not attempted since. Just do whatever makes you happy. We all have something we enjoy doing.

[PittsburghPlayer]

To the men above I will come back later today and address you directly.
Please know, I got rid of the gun an am not going to whack myself or anyone else.

After I get my car back from the shop later today I have one more plan to end this. Perfectly legal but a little embarrassing.

[stevek173]

my life is over, has been for almost 5 years now, to stupid (trusting) to see what they were doing

have life by the balls in the eyes of many, until I open my mouth and the pain/hurt flows ..., I used to say to my Mother, "I am the luckiest man alive".
Nice, looking back that had to make her feel good/loved.

so why is my family after doing what they did to her, victim blaming/shaming me to death? This morning I listened to 2 separate talk-show concerning bullying and now I am lower than ever, the msg received by me for years now is that my Mothers and now my life are meaningless and that they can gang assault both her and me, until/to death

a fukking hero in the eyes of God and my Mother, and these fukkers know that I am on the edge of life by the notes I left on their car 2 months ago
last month I spray painted their sidewalk/garage door in front of security cameras

so I have to endure a life-sentence as my Mom did? lies to DRs/Judges - I am a fukking hero, the Courts know it and that is the only reason I was not in prison after my Moms death.
My family threatened me w/ prison with Court papers 3 days after her passing.


Who the fukk does this and why isn`t anyone stopping them. Spray painted the words "Polygraph Exam" and other shit, screaming that someone is suffering. NOTHING, they want me dead. This is evil.


yeah, couldn't keep $ in the bank last year because of a hateful Judgement against me by my brother, so a pal helped himself to 17k
you would think that would be enough for him or someone to put a bullet in my head, but no


this is CRIMINAL AS FUKK, needs to end THIS MINUTE, but it will not





nothing at all anymore to look forward to, but hate/pain

What?

Oh, that's right.

[stevek173]

my life is over, has been for almost 5 years now, to stupid (trusting) to see what they were doing

have life by the balls in the eyes of many, until I open my mouth and the pain/hurt flows ..., I used to say to my Mother, "I am the luckiest man alive".
Nice, looking back that had to make her feel good/loved.

so why is my family after doing what they did to her, victim blaming/shaming me to death? This morning I listened to 2 separate talk-show concerning bullying and now I am lower than ever, the msg received by me for years now is that my Mothers and now my life are meaningless and that they can gang assault both her and me, until/to death

a fukking hero in the eyes of God and my Mother, and these fukkers know that I am on the edge of life by the notes I left on their car 2 months ago
last month I spray painted their sidewalk/garage door in front of security cameras

so I have to endure a life-sentence as my Mom did? lies to DRs/Judges - I am a fukking hero, the Courts know it and that is the only reason I was not in prison after my Moms death.
My family threatened me w/ prison with Court papers 3 days after her passing.


Who the fukk does this and why isn`t anyone stopping them. Spray painted the words "Polygraph Exam" and other shit, screaming that someone is suffering. NOTHING, they want me dead. This is evil.


yeah, couldn't keep $ in the bank last year because of a hateful Judgement against me by my brother, so a pal helped himself to 17k
you would think that would be enough for him or someone to put a bullet in my head, but no


this is CRIMINAL AS FUKK, needs to end THIS MINUTE, but it will not





nothing at all anymore to look forward to, but hate/pain

Ummmm....

What?

Oh wait I get it - you wanted attention/sympathy for made up events again because you're a drugged out idiot.

[RudyRuetigger]

hows it going lately pal?

[stevek173]

Didn't read all that garbage from OP (who in their right mind would) but I get the gist, and my response is -

Please feel free to do SBR and society as a whole a favor, loser.

[Salam]

Just move to another state

[firstclass]

Go hug a Police officer and thank him for his service