Some Things... I Just Don't Understand In Life

[TheMoneyShot]

My dad is 84 years old. Unfortunately... he had a minor "parking lot" car accident in January. I get a call one night at 2AM from an odd phone number... I call it back... it's a hospital. I found out... it's my Dad... but he's ok.

They city impounded his car... and sent him away in an ambulance to the hospital. I was placed in contact according to medical records... as to the one who makes priority decisions for him. They first put him on some heavy drug used to treat Schizophrenia. After severe rashes were occurring on his legs, butt, and back... also considering his current condition.. which isn't too good... I asked the doctor... take him off of it. Now. He just looked miserable.... couldn't sleep... and tossing all over the place.

Good news is... after 7 days in the hospital... and plenty of rest... he recovered. Blood work came back negative... EKG testing negative... MRI on the brain... negative.

While this is going on... (in the hospital) my half sister who is the oldest of everyone... says... how come I'm not first on the list? I said... you want to be first??? Go ahead... thinking to myself she loves her Dad... she'll probably make better decisions than myself. But a man... knows his Dad. So, because I'm not going to fight with my half sister... I give the hospital permission for her to "take charge."

The head doctor at the hospital declared my dad "OK". Meaning... no disease... he claimed... the MRI report showed "common old age" for a 84 year old man. But, I will require your dad to go to a rehabilitation center (which is like an old folks home) for 30 days.

My sister decided on a location in which is 5 minutes from her house... and 35 minutes away from my house. Fine whatever. I've seen my dad about once a week... just to check on him. Yesterday, my Dad said... I want to come home with you. I don't want to be here anymore.

Now, previously I contacted the social worker who is in charge for all patients at the facility... I left a message on her voicemail... and she never returned my calls. So... yesterday I went to see my dad... and I spoke with her. She didn't want to say one word to me? I'm like WTF to myself. Like, what did I do? I said mam... my father would like to leave now... he's past his 30 day period. He's on zero medication... and he's fine. What is your problem? She goes... you aren't priority #1 on my list. Your half sister is. I said... what? She goes... you father is not mentally stable according to our staff doctors. I said I could get a power of attorney in one hour and it would override my sister's Guardianship papers... The social worker goes... no it doesn't. I've placed your dad on a list and he isn't mentally capable of overriding what a judge has ordered. She goes... if you get loud with me one more time... I'll call the police and have you removed. I said.. wow... you're a ridiculous woman... have me ejected so I can't see my own father? I understand him... I know what he needs. He just told you verbally he wants to go home.

So, she called the police on me...






6 squad cars showed up.... basically had the entire city's force after me.

It's such a sad situation. My dad doesn't understand what's going on... but I believe my sister is doing this to isolate him away from reality. She wants all of his assets. Greed sucks.

[PaperTrail07]

Sad....You nailed it too.....Have seen the exact same thing happen over and over....

[sourtwist]

Wow...wish you and your dad the best

[TheMoneyShot]

Thanks fellas. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Family War. My sister knows what she's doing... I don't have to remind her. I thought about blowing up her phone... and calling her out... but for what? Some of the things on my checklist....

1. If my dad is totally unhappy in being there... why doesn't he say this in front of his own daughter when she's there? Does his emotions swing from sad to happy instantly? Is he afraid of calling out his own daughter? I've told him this... I said dad... tell her you don't want to be here.

2. I thought about calling our family doctor up... who is also old... he's been my dad's doctor for the last 25+ years straight. But what could he do? Ask him as a courtesy.. could you please come out or send one of your staff members to evaluate my dad? Override what one doctor already declared? It's a long shot... but I'm trying to fix this. I just don't believe he has a mental disorder. It's just how an 84 year old person operates. He replies quickly... and he laughs... and he's still thinking. Something is so wrong here.

3. I was so pissed off at that social worker in how she responded to me.... not emotionally... just professionally. It was horrible. I looked up her license in Michigan's database and it was valid. Who's to say she's not in on something??? I researched what an insurance pays when a person is in an old folks home environment... the establishment makes $2,000 - $3,000 a month on billing your insurance. Of course they don't want any old person to leave. It pays the bills... the staff members etc. What a damn joke.

4. By the time I get an attorney involved... $2,000 for a retainer... and it could escalate to $6,000 - $8,000 easily. I could hear my dad saying in my ear... don't do it son... don't waste money.

What a fukking piece of sh#$ this is right now.

[Da Manster!]

good luck bro!...I wish you and dad the best!...

[dfish]

So this half sister , is she your Dads health care proxy, or just the emergency contact ?

[PaperTrail07]

Honestly your early enough in the situation to flat call her out...as for the social worker...They have seen it all, your a number....they dont feel for people anymore...just going through the motions man....almost cant blame her w the he said she said BS she sees on a daily basis...she probably feels your the one going for the money...

Thanks fellas. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Family War. My sister knows what she's doing... I don't have to remind her. I thought about blowing up her phone... and calling her out... but for what? Some of the things on my checklist....

1. If my dad is totally unhappy in being there... why doesn't he say this in front of his own daughter when she's there? Does his emotions swing from sad to happy instantly? Is he afraid of calling out his own daughter? I've told him this... I said dad... tell her you don't want to be here.

2. I thought about calling our family doctor up... who is also old... he's been my dad's doctor for the last 25+ years straight. But what could he do? Ask him as a courtesy.. could you please come out or send one of your staff members to evaluate my dad? Override what one doctor already declared? It's a long shot... but I'm trying to fix this. I just don't believe he has a mental disorder. It's just how an 84 year old person operates. He replies quickly... and he laughs... and he's still thinking. Something is so wrong here.

3. I was so pissed off at that social worker in how she responded to me.... not emotionally... just professionally. It was horrible. I looked up her license in Michigan's database and it was valid. Who's to say she's not in on something??? I researched what an insurance pays when a person is in an old folks home environment... the establishment makes $2,000 - $3,000 a month on billing your insurance. Of course they don't want any old person to leave. It pays the bills... the staff members etc. What a damn joke.

4. By the time I get an attorney involved... $2,000 for a retainer... and it could escalate to $6,000 - $8,000 easily. I could hear my dad saying in my ear... don't do it son... don't waste money.

What a fukking piece of sh#$ this is right now.

[raydog]

So this half sister , is she your Dads health care proxy, or just the emergency contact ?

sounds like she has the power of attorney... tms, is she the oldest?

[GUMMO77]

You sound like a good guy, Money, just looking out for your pops. I wish all you the best.

[JAKEPEAVY21]

tough situation, TMS. I wish you did not give your half sister the power to call the shots. Your father probably gave that power to you with good reason. Hopefully this all works out.

[brainfreeze]

Pray, Money... Give it to God and let Him work out the situation. Don't work yourself up, and don't go to jail for some dumb stuff.

[Booya711]

family is the toughest to deal with...you cant pick them. BOL with the situation Money

[brainfreeze]

family is the toughest to deal with...you cant pick them. BOL with the situation Money

Your right, I've been witness to some ugly family battles, my family is still going through a five year old succession, family stealing from each other ... Terrible stuff, then when one involves courts and politics, it gets ugly, real ugly.... I watch over my grandmother, I've had the police called on me twice, saying " I'm beating my grandmother " police came both times, thankfully when I wasn't home, " out of town at a nice hotel & casino, glad I didn't have to deal with the drama " but the sitter informed me of what happened and that they checked her for bruises, there was none thank God... because then she was still walking a little and would fall down, or fall out of the bed... So it would've been easy to get stuck out...

maybe it's a blessing you don't have him in your house money, all types of crap can go down...

[meader99]

Drive your ass over there and take him home. It ain't a prison. They can't keep him there. Good luck.

[brainfreeze]

Drive your ass over there and take him home. It ain't a prison. They can't keep him there. Good luck.

If they say he's " mentally unfit " to make decisions, he can't ... Money is on point here, power of attorney is everything, Money should've had this type of stuff planned with his father for these types of circumstances, if Money gets control of his fathers well being, then he can go pick him up and they can't say jack... but it sounds like his sister has her own agenda ... Just a crappy situation, and I understand. Just check on him money, and talk with other family to see if you can get it worked out...and pray, I know I will for you... God bless

[smokenjoke]

Thanks fellas. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Family War. My sister knows what she's doing... I don't have to remind her. I thought about blowing up her phone... and calling her out... but for what? Some of the things on my checklist....

1. If my dad is totally unhappy in being there... why doesn't he say this in front of his own daughter when she's there? Does his emotions swing from sad to happy instantly? Is he afraid of calling out his own daughter? I've told him this... I said dad... tell her you don't want to be here.

2. I thought about calling our family doctor up... who is also old... he's been my dad's doctor for the last 25+ years straight. But what could he do? Ask him as a courtesy.. could you please come out or send one of your staff members to evaluate my dad? Override what one doctor already declared? It's a long shot... but I'm trying to fix this. I just don't believe he has a mental disorder. It's just how an 84 year old person operates. He replies quickly... and he laughs... and he's still thinking. Something is so wrong here.

3. I was so pissed off at that social worker in how she responded to me.... not emotionally... just professionally. It was horrible. I looked up her license in Michigan's database and it was valid. Who's to say she's not in on something??? I researched what an insurance pays when a person is in an old folks home environment... the establishment makes $2,000 - $3,000 a month on billing your insurance. Of course they don't want any old person to leave. It pays the bills... the staff members etc. What a damn joke.

4. By the time I get an attorney involved... $2,000 for a retainer... and it could escalate to $6,000 - $8,000 easily. I could hear my dad saying in my ear... don't do it son... don't waste money.

What a fukking piece of sh#$ this is right now.

If you really would like to make decisions for your pops I highly suggest you get the power of attorney in order to speak and make decisions (medically/monetary) for your father. I believe you don't need a lawyer, but I'm not sure cause different laws apply by state. You might just need your pops and you present plus a state licensed notary public which you'll most likely have to pay to write up paper work and sign off.
Then you can make the best decision for you father in all medical aspects!!! Best bet is to look into it cause if they evaluated him & decided he's incompetent to make proper decisions they have to contact the P.O.A. first to get permission to do such an evaluation. As P.O.A. you are the agent speaking for/as him and no one can over rule his/your decision on his wishes. Good Luck and all the best!!!

[meader99]

If they say he's " mentally unfit " to make decisions, he can't ... Money is on point here, power of attorney is everything, Money should've had this type of stuff planned with his father for these types of circumstances, if Money gets control of his fathers well being, then he can go pick him up and they can't say jack... but it sounds like his sister has her own agenda ... Just a crappy situation, and I understand. Just check on him money, and talk with other family to see if you can get it worked out...and pray, I know I will for you... God bless

Power of attorney is everything in this case, but who has it? Money verbally gave the wench "permission" to take charge. He didn't sign poa over, if he had it to begin with.

[firstclass]

money makes people into devils ,even family members.. its a shame whats happened. i would call your sister and tell her he wants to come home.

he should be able to decide. then ask her if no money was involved,,,would she be involved?

[recon1]

First find out if the Social worker is working for the County or is she directly employed by the facility. If by County she can't trespass you unless owners of facility either do it or they've given Social worker that authority.
Should not have signed over matters to your Sister. Not trying to be an ass, but it's the truth.
You getting your Dad's regular Doctor to check him could work. Just make sure the facility Doctor's and your dad's regular Doctor aren't checking him too early in morning before he's had time to get coffee and something to eat. Before he gets checked by any Doctor for purposes of getting out of facility make sure he gets an oxygen treatment and oxygen level checked. All about that Oxygen

[smokenjoke]

All of the above
Plus call your dad's insurance and talk to his rep and let them know about the situation.

[The Kraken]

Edit: I misread the entire post. Thought the social worker was your sister.

All social workers are simply pissed off because they have a 4 year degree and make 22k/year. They take it out on people like you. Be careful though as everything you say and every little event like this last one, she'll document and it will go in a record and could hinder you going forward, depending on how involved you want to be in your fathers care.

Anyways, hope she gets kidnapped by ISIS tonigt and then they can do whatever it is they do to her.

[TheMoneyShot]

Sad....You nailed it too.....Have seen the exact same thing happen over and over....

Yes, PT... you are correct. I kinda say to myself... I'm not the only one who's been though this... and I won't be the last. Knowing that unfortunately everyone.... has to go through a struggle takes the pressure off. I mean... when you tell yourself it's a part of life. I guess you convince yourself it's ok.

Wow...wish you and your dad the best

Thank you! Greatly appreciated!

good luck bro!...I wish you and dad the best!...

Thank you!

So this half sister , is she your Dads health care proxy, or just the emergency contact ?

When me and the social worker got into this "verbal argument".... Here's exactly what happened. I waited outside her door... looks like a small janitor sized closet with no windows. She was about 5'1'' and 95 lbs... I'd say mid 50's? Immediately when I said who I was... she frowned at me. That was BS right there. She became aggressive instantly... and for what??? I said I don't understand why you don't return a damn phone call. That's exactly what I said. Then she flashed this paper in front of me... which apparently was a "Guardianship" document. Again, hard to ask questions when this woman was yelling instantly. (She was clearly pissed off that after I left her 2 voicemails and gave her 5 business days to call me back... she didn't think I would confront her.)

I don't know how this Guardianship paper was authorized? I didn't google it. I always thought Power of Attorney superscedes all documents. I thought I knew law... I mean... I trained myself... but she kept on calling me out on everything. When I said I could get power of attorney over guardianship immediately. Then she responded NO YOU CAN'T!!! I said BS. She said your father isn't mentally stable I WON'T ALLOW IT! I said who the hell are you to decide anything. Then I said what doctor diagnosed him with this "mental disorder" because he was cleared at the hospital of any disorder? She goes I'm going to ask you to leave RIGHT NOW or I'm calling the police. I said do what you have to do. I'm not leaving until I get answers. The woman never once looked me in the eye. The woman not once stood beside me... I just felt like she was giving me the run around. So, I don't know if my half sister quickly got this "Guardianship" documents done by Detroit courts? Or, this so called "social worker" has the authority to grant these docs? If she does... I have a brother and (including myself) don't you have to see what surviving sons and daughters are available before granting that doc to one person? The decision making is bizarre.

sounds like she has the power of attorney... tms, is she the oldest?

Yes, my half sister is the oldest out of the remaining living sons and daughters. I'm the youngest.

You sound like a good guy, Money, just looking out for your pops. I wish all you the best.

Thank you Gummo! It means a lot!

tough situation, TMS. I wish you did not give your half sister the power to call the shots. Your father probably gave that power to you with good reason. Hopefully this all works out.

Thanks JP! I appreciate the post man. Yep, I only gave my half sister control because she gave me this sob story on the phone. "Why was I left out? (Cry cry, tear tear.)" I also felt that a daughter would take care of her father better. What a damn disgrace.

Pray, Money... Give it to God and let Him work out the situation. Don't work yourself up, and don't go to jail for some dumb stuff.

Thank you! Yes, my Dad is a religious man as well and he doesn't like confrontation. In a way... I'm just shocked that fate just turns on one day? My dad was 100% living independently... driving everywhere... I was helping him with his bills. Just making sure they were paid on time. He trusted me with everything. I just wanted him to live free. That's how he always lived his entire life... free and independent. That's just how his spirit is... now he is in a place where the meals are very small... and they served him burnt refried beans... looked like he got the dose from the bottom of the pot... and he continued to eat it. And all I want him to do is to eat well. They don't serve good food there. My dad never liked sweet things... like cookies... or ice cream. The oddest thing is... the best food there is ice cream and cookies. And he guzzled down that food so quickly... and then he said.. "best cookie I ever had." I just shook my head... I said something is so wrong here.

I will try to have composure and make the best decisions. Thanks again!

family is the toughest to deal with...you cant pick them. BOL with the situation Money

Thank you very much!

Drive your ass over there and take him home. It ain't a prison. They can't keep him there. Good luck.

Yes, I had a few friends tell me that... and you are correct... you should be able to take your loved ones anywhere at anytime. I thought about it.

If you really would like to make decisions for your pops I highly suggest you get the power of attorney in order to speak and make decisions (medically/monetary) for your father. I believe you don't need a lawyer, but I'm not sure cause different laws apply by state. You might just need your pops and you present plus a state licensed notary public which you'll most likely have to pay to write up paper work and sign off.
Then you can make the best decision for you father in all medical aspects!!! Best bet is to look into it cause if they evaluated him & decided he's incompetent to make proper decisions they have to contact the P.O.A. first to get permission to do such an evaluation. As P.O.A. you are the agent speaking for/as him and no one can over rule his/your decision on his wishes. Good Luck and all the best!!!

Thank you for your post! I was all ready for the Power of Attorney papers... they were already drawn up weeks ago. Way before this altercation on Tuesday.... I gave my Dad plenty of time to think things through. He wanted to think about it first. I had the papers drawn up at the hospital actually. My Dad didn't want to sign. Which I understand... he's very independent. He does the ordering... you know? lol And when you're old... you never say die. You never give up that power. And most people (including my dad) don't really understand what the papers represent. So, you're afraid to sign. You know it gives up control... and most don't want to do it.

Now, since this social worker has declared my dad "mentally incapable" I can't have him sign. It's invalid. It really sucks.

money makes people into devils ,even family members.. its a shame whats happened. i would call your sister and tell her he wants to come home. he should be able to decide. then ask her if no money was involved,,,would she be involved?

You are 100% correct. And my sister is very wealthy already. I'll explain the story below.

First find out if the Social worker is working for the County or is she directly employed by the facility. If by County she can't trespass you unless owners of facility either do it or they've given Social worker that authority.
Should not have signed over matters to your Sister. Not trying to be an ass, but it's the truth.
You getting your Dad's regular Doctor to check him could work. Just make sure the facility Doctor's and your dad's regular Doctor aren't checking him too early in morning before he's had time to get coffee and something to eat. Before he gets checked by any Doctor for purposes of getting out of facility make sure he gets an oxygen treatment and oxygen level checked. All about that Oxygen

Thanks for the post! Yes, this social worker... works for the rehab facility. She's licensed and makes all decisions for the establishment. She's 100% in control.

Edit: I misread the entire post. Thought the social worker was your sister.

All social workers are simply pissed off because they have a 4 year degree and make 22k/year. They take it out on people like you. Be careful though as everything you say and every little event like this last one, she'll document and it will go in a record and could hinder you going forward, depending on how involved you want to be in your fathers care.

Anyways, hope she gets kidnapped by ISIS tonigt and then they can do whatever it is they do to her.

Thanks for the post Krak Even when the police were dispatched and doing their closing reports. One officer came up to me... she was female... and she was talking to me... she goes... this appears as though this escalated for no reason? We received your statement... and the social worker's statement... and 3 witnesses... they all said the social worker came on aggressive towards you. I said... yes that's exactly what happened. The woman refused to talk to me. Also, my dad's nurse (who was male... and a real nice guy)... came up to me afterwards and said.. I'm sorry this happened.. she's (the social worker) does this to everyone. My take on that is... some employees are unhappy about her ordering them around. The woman isn't consistent. She's way too aggressive. She doesn't get all the facts first... I still feel she made a wrong choice.






So about my half sister? She lives in a 600k home. She has her own street. From what people have told me.... (which I've never been to her home nor do I care) she has real "gas flames" used as nightlights. You know... like a porch light? So, she has money. How did this happen? I'll explain....

I was little when this happen... maybe I was 7 or 8 years old. Perhaps around 1984-1985 My half sister's husband was a hard working man. Seemed like a very nice guy... one day... he came home and said hey honey... I purchased life insurance! I got a real great deal! She responded... WE DON'T NEED THAT!!! Why the hell did you do that for? I'm sure he felt horrible being yelled at.

Then, one of our famous news anchorman in Detroit... named Bill Bonds on channel 7 news... we have breaking news... The Detroit Police department lost a convict. He is currently running lose in Detroit... we will have more details as they become available. That day... my half sister's husband happened to be in Detroit.. for unknown reasons. He was at a light waiting for it to turn green... and was going to head on the on ramp I-94 leaving the city. Before the light turned Green... a escaped convict opened the passenger door of his car.. kicked him in the forehead... he was out cold. Placed his body on the passenger floorboard... (cars had huge floorboards back then) and continued to drive with his car. Detroit Police realized he stole a car... didn't realize my sister's husband's body was laying on that floorboard. The pursuit ensued... high speeds at around 80+ miles an hour. I believe the pursuit ended in or near the city of Melvindale... the convict smashed into a vidock (you know when a train passes above a road)... he smashed it head on. The escaped convict was crippled from the waist down... my half sister's husband was dead. They don't know if the foot to the forehead caused the death.... or the impact on collision. He died and left behind a 2 year old son and wife.

Later, I believe my half sister was happy with the "life insurance" amount... but someone gave her an idea to sue the City of Detroit... for being negligent in the death of her husband. Stating... the high speed chase caused the death. And wasn't necessary. There was a full trial.... and she won. I don't know the exact amount... but most of it was for his/her 2 year old son. He would receive all of the money on his 18th birthday. It was a trust fund. (If you are curious... only 2 life insurance payments were made before his death. Yes, only 2 months.)

The woman... literally... has never worked a day in her life. She doesn't know what it's like to grind out a day. She has manipulated men after her husband. Looking for business owners who make $$$$$$$$$. She refuses to marry any of them. There's reasons for that.

And she told me 4 weeks ago.... "I don't know about you... but I don't have time to sit around and watch DAD wheel himself around my house." And I replied... "I would love to have Dad at my house." She said... no.. it's not going to happen. Then I said... I want him at your house... or mine... not an old folks home.

As you can clearly see what happened after that...

[jayfly]

cool story bro, i hope that if the time comes for one of my parents to be in this situation I will not be too lazy to want to take the time to make sure they are well taken care of or have just a little bit of a working brain left to not sign their care over to someone who is not even full blooded family, but thats just me

lmao just read your latest novel, so knowing all this about this shrew of a woman you still went ahead and gave her decision making power? and then you come on here and give some sob story? wow, you disgust me

[recon1]

Yes, PT... you are correct. I kinda say to myself... I'm not the only one who's been though this... and I won't be the last. Knowing that unfortunately everyone.... has to go through a struggle takes the pressure off. I mean... when you tell yourself it's a part of life. I guess you convince yourself it's ok.




Thank you! Greatly appreciated!



Thank you!




When me and the social worker got into this "verbal argument".... Here's exactly what happened. I waited outside her door... looks like a small janitor sized closet with no windows. She was about 5'1'' and 95 lbs... I'd say mid 50's? Immediately when I said who I was... she frowned at me. That was BS right there. She became aggressive instantly... and for what??? I said I don't understand why you don't return a damn phone call. That's exactly what I said. Then she flashed this paper in front of me... which apparently was a "Guardianship" document. Again, hard to ask questions when this woman was yelling instantly. (She was clearly pissed off that after I left her 2 voicemails and gave her 5 business days to call me back... she didn't think I would confront her.)

I don't know how this Guardianship paper was authorized? I didn't google it. I always thought Power of Attorney superscedes all documents. I thought I knew law... I mean... I trained myself... but she kept on calling me out on everything. When I said I could get power of attorney over guardianship immediately. Then she responded NO YOU CAN'T!!! I said BS. She said your father isn't mentally stable I WON'T ALLOW IT! I said who the hell are you to decide anything. Then I said what doctor diagnosed him with this "mental disorder" because he was cleared at the hospital of any disorder? She goes I'm going to ask you to leave RIGHT NOW or I'm calling the police. I said do what you have to do. I'm not leaving until I get answers. The woman never once looked me in the eye. The woman not once stood beside me... I just felt like she was giving me the run around. So, I don't know if my half sister quickly got this "Guardianship" documents done by Detroit courts? Or, this so called "social worker" has the authority to grant these docs? If she does... I have a brother and (including myself) don't you have to see what surviving sons and daughters are available before granting that doc to one person? The decision making is bizarre.




Yes, my half sister is the oldest out of the remaining living sons and daughters. I'm the youngest.




Thank you Gummo! It means a lot!




Thanks JP! I appreciate the post man. Yep, I only gave my half sister control because she gave me this sob story on the phone. "Why was I left out? (Cry cry, tear tear.)" I also felt that a daughter would take care of her father better. What a damn disgrace.




Thank you! Yes, my Dad is a religious man as well and he doesn't like confrontation. In a way... I'm just shocked that fate just turns on one day? My dad was 100% living independently... driving everywhere... I was helping him with his bills. Just making sure they were paid on time. He trusted me with everything. I just wanted him to live free. That's how he always lived his entire life... free and independent. That's just how his spirit is... now he is in a place where the meals are very small... and they served him burnt refried beans... looked like he got the dose from the bottom of the pot... and he continued to eat it. And all I want him to do is to eat well. They don't serve good food there. My dad never liked sweet things... like cookies... or ice cream. The oddest thing is... the best food there is ice cream and cookies. And he guzzled down that food so quickly... and then he said.. "best cookie I ever had." I just shook my head... I said something is so wrong here.

I will try to have composure and make the best decisions. Thanks again!




Thank you very much!




Yes, I had a few friends tell me that... and you are correct... you should be able to take your loved ones anywhere at anytime. I thought about it.




Thank you for your post! I was all ready for the Power of Attorney papers... they were already drawn up weeks ago. Way before this altercation on Tuesday.... I gave my Dad plenty of time to think things through. He wanted to think about it first. I had the papers drawn up at the hospital actually. My Dad didn't want to sign. Which I understand... he's very independent. He does the ordering... you know? lol And when you're old... you never say die. You never give up that power. And most people (including my dad) don't really understand what the papers represent. So, you're afraid to sign. You know it gives up control... and most don't want to do it.

Now, since this social worker has declared my dad "mentally incapable" I can't have him sign. It's invalid. It really sucks.




You are 100% correct. And my sister is very wealthy already. I'll explain the story below.




Thanks for the post! Yes, this social worker... works for the rehab facility. She's licensed and makes all decisions for the establishment. She's 100% in control.




Thanks for the post Krak Even when the police were dispatched and doing their closing reports. One officer came up to me... she was female... and she was talking to me... she goes... this appears as though this escalated for no reason? We received your statement... and the social worker's statement... and 3 witnesses... they all said the social worker came on aggressive towards you. I said... yes that's exactly what happened. The woman refused to talk to me. Also, my dad's nurse (who was male... and a real nice guy)... came up to me afterwards and said.. I'm sorry this happened.. she's (the social worker) does this to everyone. My take on that is... some employees are unhappy about her ordering them around. The woman isn't consistent. She's way too aggressive. She doesn't get all the facts first... I still feel she made a wrong choice.






So about my half sister? She lives in a 600k home. She has her own street. From what people have told me.... (which I've never been to her home nor do I care) she has real "gas flames" used as nightlights. You know... like a porch light? So, she has money. How did this happen? I'll explain....

I was little when this happen... maybe I was 7 or 8 years old. Perhaps around 1984-1985 My half sister's husband was a hard working man. Seemed like a very nice guy... one day... he came home and said hey honey... I purchased life insurance! I got a real great deal! She responded... WE DON'T NEED THAT!!! Why the hell did you do that for? I'm sure he felt horrible being yelled at.

Then, one of our famous news anchorman in Detroit... named Bill Bonds on channel 7 news... we have breaking news... The Detroit Police department lost a convict. He is currently running lose in Detroit... we will have more details as they become available. That day... my half sister's husband happened to be in Detroit.. for unknown reasons. He was at a light waiting for it to turn green... and was going to head on the on ramp I-94 leaving the city. Before the light turned Green... a escaped convict opened the passenger door of his car.. kicked him in the forehead... he was out cold. Placed his body on the passenger floorboard... (cars had huge floorboards back then) and continued to drive with his car. Detroit Police realized he stole a car... didn't realize my sister's husband's body was laying on that floorboard. The pursuit ensued... high speeds at around 80+ miles an hour. I believe the pursuit ended in or near the city of Melvindale... the convict smashed into a vidock (you know when a train passes above a road)... he smashed it head on. The escaped convict was crippled from the waist down... my half sister's husband was dead. They don't know if the foot to the forehead caused the death.... or the impact on collision. He died and left behind a 2 year old son and wife.

Later, I believe my half sister was happy with the "life insurance" amount... but someone gave her an idea to sue the City of Detroit... for being negligent in the death of her husband. Stating... the high speed chase caused the death. And wasn't necessary. There was a full trial.... and she won. I don't know the exact amount... but most of it was for his/her 2 year old son. He would receive all of the money on his 18th birthday. It was a trust fund. (If you are curious... only 2 life insurance payments were made before his death. Yes, only 2 months.)

The woman... literally... has never worked a day in her life. She doesn't know what it's like to grind out a day. She has manipulated men after her husband. Looking for business owners who make $$$$$$$$$. She refuses to marry any of them. There's reasons for that.

And she told me 4 weeks ago.... "I don't know about you... but I don't have time to sit around and watch DAD wheel himself around my house." And I replied... "I would love to have Dad at my house." She said... no.. it's not going to happen. Then I said... I want him at your house... or mine... not an old folks home.

As you can clearly see what happened after that...

Very well articulated post. I think it's highly possibile the Sister has a policy on Dad.

[smokenjoke]

Remember that you did the best that you can!!! I/crew respect that so do the best you can cause u/he expect none the less!!! Good Job!!!
All the Best!!!

[brainfreeze]

Yes, PT... you are correct. I kinda say to myself... I'm not the only one who's been though this... and I won't be the last. Knowing that unfortunately everyone.... has to go through a struggle takes the pressure off. I mean... when you tell yourself it's a part of life. I guess you convince yourself it's ok.




Thank you! Greatly appreciated!



Thank you!




When me and the social worker got into this "verbal argument".... Here's exactly what happened. I waited outside her door... looks like a small janitor sized closet with no windows. She was about 5'1'' and 95 lbs... I'd say mid 50's? Immediately when I said who I was... she frowned at me. That was BS right there. She became aggressive instantly... and for what??? I said I don't understand why you don't return a damn phone call. That's exactly what I said. Then she flashed this paper in front of me... which apparently was a "Guardianship" document. Again, hard to ask questions when this woman was yelling instantly. (She was clearly pissed off that after I left her 2 voicemails and gave her 5 business days to call me back... she didn't think I would confront her.)

I don't know how this Guardianship paper was authorized? I didn't google it. I always thought Power of Attorney superscedes all documents. I thought I knew law... I mean... I trained myself... but she kept on calling me out on everything. When I said I could get power of attorney over guardianship immediately. Then she responded NO YOU CAN'T!!! I said BS. She said your father isn't mentally stable I WON'T ALLOW IT! I said who the hell are you to decide anything. Then I said what doctor diagnosed him with this "mental disorder" because he was cleared at the hospital of any disorder? She goes I'm going to ask you to leave RIGHT NOW or I'm calling the police. I said do what you have to do. I'm not leaving until I get answers. The woman never once looked me in the eye. The woman not once stood beside me... I just felt like she was giving me the run around. So, I don't know if my half sister quickly got this "Guardianship" documents done by Detroit courts? Or, this so called "social worker" has the authority to grant these docs? If she does... I have a brother and (including myself) don't you have to see what surviving sons and daughters are available before granting that doc to one person? The decision making is bizarre.




Yes, my half sister is the oldest out of the remaining living sons and daughters. I'm the youngest.




Thank you Gummo! It means a lot!




Thanks JP! I appreciate the post man. Yep, I only gave my half sister control because she gave me this sob story on the phone. "Why was I left out? (Cry cry, tear tear.)" I also felt that a daughter would take care of her father better. What a damn disgrace.




Thank you! Yes, my Dad is a religious man as well and he doesn't like confrontation. In a way... I'm just shocked that fate just turns on one day? My dad was 100% living independently... driving everywhere... I was helping him with his bills. Just making sure they were paid on time. He trusted me with everything. I just wanted him to live free. That's how he always lived his entire life... free and independent. That's just how his spirit is... now he is in a place where the meals are very small... and they served him burnt refried beans... looked like he got the dose from the bottom of the pot... and he continued to eat it. And all I want him to do is to eat well. They don't serve good food there. My dad never liked sweet things... like cookies... or ice cream. The oddest thing is... the best food there is ice cream and cookies. And he guzzled down that food so quickly... and then he said.. "best cookie I ever had." I just shook my head... I said something is so wrong here.

I will try to have composure and make the best decisions. Thanks again!




Thank you very much!




Yes, I had a few friends tell me that... and you are correct... you should be able to take your loved ones anywhere at anytime. I thought about it.




Thank you for your post! I was all ready for the Power of Attorney papers... they were already drawn up weeks ago. Way before this altercation on Tuesday.... I gave my Dad plenty of time to think things through. He wanted to think about it first. I had the papers drawn up at the hospital actually. My Dad didn't want to sign. Which I understand... he's very independent. He does the ordering... you know? lol And when you're old... you never say die. You never give up that power. And most people (including my dad) don't really understand what the papers represent. So, you're afraid to sign. You know it gives up control... and most don't want to do it.

Now, since this social worker has declared my dad "mentally incapable" I can't have him sign. It's invalid. It really sucks.




You are 100% correct. And my sister is very wealthy already. I'll explain the story below.




Thanks for the post! Yes, this social worker... works for the rehab facility. She's licensed and makes all decisions for the establishment. She's 100% in control.




Thanks for the post Krak Even when the police were dispatched and doing their closing reports. One officer came up to me... she was female... and she was talking to me... she goes... this appears as though this escalated for no reason? We received your statement... and the social worker's statement... and 3 witnesses... they all said the social worker came on aggressive towards you. I said... yes that's exactly what happened. The woman refused to talk to me. Also, my dad's nurse (who was male... and a real nice guy)... came up to me afterwards and said.. I'm sorry this happened.. she's (the social worker) does this to everyone. My take on that is... some employees are unhappy about her ordering them around. The woman isn't consistent. She's way too aggressive. She doesn't get all the facts first... I still feel she made a wrong choice.






So about my half sister? She lives in a 600k home. She has her own street. From what people have told me.... (which I've never been to her home nor do I care) she has real "gas flames" used as nightlights. You know... like a porch light? So, she has money. How did this happen? I'll explain....

I was little when this happen... maybe I was 7 or 8 years old. Perhaps around 1984-1985 My half sister's husband was a hard working man. Seemed like a very nice guy... one day... he came home and said hey honey... I purchased life insurance! I got a real great deal! She responded... WE DON'T NEED THAT!!! Why the hell did you do that for? I'm sure he felt horrible being yelled at.

Then, one of our famous news anchorman in Detroit... named Bill Bonds on channel 7 news... we have breaking news... The Detroit Police department lost a convict. He is currently running lose in Detroit... we will have more details as they become available. That day... my half sister's husband happened to be in Detroit.. for unknown reasons. He was at a light waiting for it to turn green... and was going to head on the on ramp I-94 leaving the city. Before the light turned Green... a escaped convict opened the passenger door of his car.. kicked him in the forehead... he was out cold. Placed his body on the passenger floorboard... (cars had huge floorboards back then) and continued to drive with his car. Detroit Police realized he stole a car... didn't realize my sister's husband's body was laying on that floorboard. The pursuit ensued... high speeds at around 80+ miles an hour. I believe the pursuit ended in or near the city of Melvindale... the convict smashed into a vidock (you know when a train passes above a road)... he smashed it head on. The escaped convict was crippled from the waist down... my half sister's husband was dead. They don't know if the foot to the forehead caused the death.... or the impact on collision. He died and left behind a 2 year old son and wife.

Later, I believe my half sister was happy with the "life insurance" amount... but someone gave her an idea to sue the City of Detroit... for being negligent in the death of her husband. Stating... the high speed chase caused the death. And wasn't necessary. There was a full trial.... and she won. I don't know the exact amount... but most of it was for his/her 2 year old son. He would receive all of the money on his 18th birthday. It was a trust fund. (If you are curious... only 2 life insurance payments were made before his death. Yes, only 2 months.)

The woman... literally... has never worked a day in her life. She doesn't know what it's like to grind out a day. She has manipulated men after her husband. Looking for business owners who make $$$$$$$$$. She refuses to marry any of them. There's reasons for that.

And she told me 4 weeks ago.... "I don't know about you... but I don't have time to sit around and watch DAD wheel himself around my house." And I replied... "I would love to have Dad at my house." She said... no.. it's not going to happen. Then I said... I want him at your house... or mine... not an old folks home.

As you can clearly see what happened after that...

Only thing I think about after reading this is a little boy out there, with no real dad, or uncle it seems like because his mom can't get it together and doesn't know what a real world looks like.. and yeah, I understand that your dad didn't want to think about giving up control of his life one day, but now, it's up to a complete stranger that gets to evaluate his competence and make the decision to leave guardianship with your sister... She obviously is not going to let you get power of attorney, yes it does trump everything else, it's just that it won't happen because it hasn't already, and now the social workers saying it won't happen because he can't make that decision in his state of being... Sad story about the refried beans to, I never cuss on here, but shitty story! Can you still bring him food and things he likes ? If he goes to your half sisters is she even going to let you over to the house ?

[retard]

where is this rehabilitation center located at? Lets all give this social worker bitch a bad review on google

[gauchojake]

Money, please call a lawyer and delete all posts in this thread.

[rkelly110]

Unless your father can afford the home's fees, the home will get all of your father's estate. Which explains why the
case worker is such a bitch. You need to find out what your sisters end game is. Work on her to remove him from
the home to live with you.

I've been through a similar situation with my son. My wife was custodian of him. He liked to skip school. I went to
the school to get information about his skipping. They refused to give me any info, because I wasn't his custodian.
I said I'm his father, they didn't care and snobbed me.

[manny24]

very sorry to hear all of this TMS

you are a good dude this will hopefully work out in the end for you and more importantly your Pops

[Ghenghis Kahn]

damn man, my question is if you knew your half-sister is a conniving little oyster why did you relinquish your power to be your dad's next of kin or whatever you call it? now it's up to your dad to change it back to the way he preferred from the get go.

i mean wasn't he the one who put you 1st on the list?

your dad might be misunderstanding the situation thinking you don't want to be his next of kin? regardless, hope everything works out for your dad's sake.

[Russian Rocket]

Money, please call a lawyer and delete all posts in this thread.

Money listen to this guy

[Boner_18]

I have little advice for you TMS and I hope it works out. However, let this be a listen to us all. Have conversations regarding elder care with your family and set plans in motion for this situation BEFORE they happen.

[TheMoneyShot]

cool story bro, i hope that if the time comes for one of my parents to be in this situation I will not be too lazy to want to take the time to make sure they are well taken care of or have just a little bit of a working brain left to not sign their care over to someone who is not even full blooded family, but thats just me

lmao just read your latest novel, so knowing all this about this shrew of a woman you still went ahead and gave her decision making power? and then you come on here and give some sob story? wow, you disgust me

First of all... it's not a sob story. It's reality. It's life. Anyone in there right mind would be somewhat sad... because now I'm the one isolated. So is my dad... I can't even help him. Quite possibly... it's written destiny. This is how it's suppose to end. My dad has always been a happy spirit... blue collar grinder... look at the brighter side... and do what's right. It's ok to compete... and battle... but be smart. That's what he taught me.

You indicate in your post that it's so easy for a family to have a will... or estate planning before death, correct? Go ahead and try with your own family... see if you have the manpower to complete it. All it takes is one person in that family tree of yours to contest things. To disagree on anything. Let's see how much it drains you? Moms/Dads are stubborn... some people think creating a will is a jinx on their own life. I've heard everything. Don't come in here and hammer me on your pure speculation. I told my father several times to get a will established. He told me it was complete. He told me he changed it. Then he said... there never was a will.

Very well articulated post. I think it's highly possibile the Sister has a policy on Dad.

You might be correct. Anything is possible. How much money is too much? I guess it's never enough?

Remember that you did the best that you can!!! I/crew respect that so do the best you can cause u/he expect none the less!!! Good Job!!!
All the Best!!!

Thank you. I'm hoping for the best. One day at a time.

Only thing I think about after reading this is a little boy out there, with no real dad, or uncle it seems like because his mom can't get it together and doesn't know what a real world looks like.. and yeah, I understand that your dad didn't want to think about giving up control of his life one day, but now, it's up to a complete stranger that gets to evaluate his competence and make the decision to leave guardianship with your sister... She obviously is not going to let you get power of attorney, yes it does trump everything else, it's just that it won't happen because it hasn't already, and now the social workers saying it won't happen because he can't make that decision in his state of being... Sad story about the refried beans to, I never cuss on here, but shitty story! Can you still bring him food and things he likes ? If he goes to your half sisters is she even going to let you over to the house ?

My half sister has 2 sons. When that one son turned 18... I believe she hounded him for his trust money. I can't confirm it. Such a good spirited kid too. Just like his dad. Can't see the kid doing anything wrong. He's probably near his 30's now... from what I was told both sons don't speak much to their mom.

I wanted to send a text to my half sister saying... "Your day is just right around the corner... you'll see how it is when your two boys lock you up in an old folks home." But... I turn the other cheek. No sense in starting a war.

If my sister had my father at her place... that would be good enough for me. Because... I know he's with a family member. I wouldn't request seeing my dad. I wouldn't step foot on her soil. My dad has always made friends.... I'm sure he's making friends with all the other old people at the rehabilitation center.

where is this rehabilitation center located at? Lets all give this social worker bitch a bad review on google

LOL exactly. Certainly does cross your mind.

Money, please call a lawyer and delete all posts in this thread.

Jake... it's not that easy man. Everyone has been through an expensive lawsuit. My half sister has... her BF of 10+ years actually sued his brother. lol Yes. Attorney fees alone escalated to around $35,000+ and I think the only person that won were the attorneys. I had a lawsuit with one of my stores... my business insurance covered the defense... but I wanted to counter sue because of how negligent the business deal went down... the attorney told me you HAVE A GREAT CASE. My business insurance said... if you counter sue we will not cover your offensive side. So I took the risk. Basically the jury said... it was the "smoking gun" case... we knew (this person) tampered with a device... 90% of the facts show this... but did anyone actually see (this person) do it??? The jury said No. I lost $25,000 in attorney fees. And wasted 5 days in court.

Lawyers aren't made to protect you. It's up to you... to protect yourself. Try and gain as much legal knowledge as you can... try to settle a dispute calmly... as best as possible.

And as for deleting this thread... what have I said to defame my half sister? Didn't list names... or anything. I told everything exactly how it went down.

Unless your father can afford the home's fees, the home will get all of your father's estate. Which explains why the
case worker is such a bitch. You need to find out what your sisters end game is. Work on her to remove him from
the home to live with you.

I've been through a similar situation with my son. My wife was custodian of him. He liked to skip school. I went to
the school to get information about his skipping. They refused to give me any info, because I wasn't his custodian.
I said I'm his father, they didn't care and snobbed me.

Trying to understand your post. My sister's "end game" is to make sure she's in control of my dad's estate. Even though everything should be divided by 3.... who really knows what she's thinking in her head? She wanted to know where my dad's bnk accts were? I said I had no clue. The man wasn't declared dead yet... he was in the hospital at the time. Why would a woman ask this stuff? I texted this to her... she replied... Don't talk to me like that! I said... that was a ridiculous question to ask. I didn't talk to you like anything. And we didn't text for a week after that.

very sorry to hear all of this TMS

you are a good dude this will hopefully work out in the end for you and more importantly your Pops

Thanks pal! Appreciate it!

damn man, my question is if you knew your half-sister is a conniving little oyster why did you relinquish your power to be your dad's next of kin or whatever you call it? now it's up to your dad to change it back to the way he preferred from the get go.

i mean wasn't he the one who put you 1st on the list?

your dad might be misunderstanding the situation thinking you don't want to be his next of kin? regardless, hope everything works out for your dad's sake.

Thanks man! Appreciate the post. I gave my sister control because she was crying over the phone. I thought these were tears of pure emotion of hurt... not emotions of "I have no control... what am I going to do?" And because she's the oldest... I felt a woman would protect her dad better than I could. She doesn't work... doesn't need a job. She's financially secure. I felt she could spend the most time with our father... and be better suited. Little did I know... this was going to happen.

Money listen to this guy

I always listen to Jake

I have little advice for you TMS and I hope it works out. However, let this be a listen to us all. Have conversations regarding elder care with your family and set plans in motion for this situation BEFORE they happen.

Excellent post. For some mysterious reason... when people age... people think they are dying... and they have financial gain. It's horrible. They don't think of that person's health or well being. They think of money. My mom past away 2.5 years ago... and it was only me and my brother. We always got along... but when someone dies... you battle. People don't listen to what you're saying. It was a shocker to me. Thankfully... me and my brother still talk... and the past is history. I would never deceive my brother or cheat him out. Everything was 50/50.

But... we all have to set standards and guidelines in wills. I explained this horrible story to one of my client's when my mom was dying 3 years ago. This woman (my client) was a down to earth person... level headed... early 60's an RN at a hospital. When she heard my story... and how easily things got out of hand. She made her will that week. She said... it amazed me how direct you are as a person... and sensible... and this happened to you? I don't want my 4 children battling each other. It's the most horrible thing that could ever happen. It's the absolute truth. Please advise your mom's and dad's in getting a will. It would save much discomfort in your family's tree.

[brainfreeze]

First of all... it's not a sob story. It's reality. It's life. Anyone in there right mind would be somewhat sad... because now I'm the one isolated. So is my dad... I can't even help him. Quite possibly... it's written destiny. This is how it's suppose to end. My dad has always been a happy spirit... blue collar grinder... look at the brighter side... and do what's right. It's ok to compete... and battle... but be smart. That's what he taught me.

You indicate in your post that it's so easy for a family to have a will... or estate planning before death, correct? Go ahead and try with your own family... see if you have the manpower to complete it. All it takes is one person in that family tree of yours to contest things. To disagree on anything. Let's see how much it drains you? Moms/Dads are stubborn... some people think creating a will is a jinx on their own life. I've heard everything. Don't come in here and hammer me on your pure speculation. I told my father several times to get a will established. He told me it was complete. He told me he changed it. Then he said... there never was a will.




You might be correct. Anything is possible. How much money is too much? I guess it's never enough?




Thank you. I'm hoping for the best. One day at a time.




My half sister has 2 sons. When that one son turned 18... I believe she hounded him for his trust money. I can't confirm it. Such a good spirited kid too. Just like his dad. Can't see the kid doing anything wrong. He's probably near his 30's now... from what I was told both sons don't speak much to their mom.

I wanted to send a text to my half sister saying... "Your day is just right around the corner... you'll see how it is when your two boys lock you up in an old folks home." But... I turn the other cheek. No sense in starting a war.

If my sister had my father at her place... that would be good enough for me. Because... I know he's with a family member. I wouldn't request seeing my dad. I wouldn't step foot on her soil. My dad has always made friends.... I'm sure he's making friends with all the other old people at the rehabilitation center.



LOL exactly. Certainly does cross your mind.




Jake... it's not that easy man. Everyone has been through an expensive lawsuit. My half sister has... her BF of 10+ years actually sued his brother. lol Yes. Attorney fees alone escalated to around $35,000+ and I think the only person that won were the attorneys. I had a lawsuit with one of my stores... my business insurance covered the defense... but I wanted to counter sue because of how negligent the business deal went down... the attorney told me you HAVE A GREAT CASE. My business insurance said... if you counter sue we will not cover your offensive side. So I took the risk. Basically the jury said... it was the "smoking gun" case... we knew (this person) tampered with a device... 90% of the facts show this... but did anyone actually see (this person) do it??? The jury said No. I lost $25,000 in attorney fees. And wasted 5 days in court.

Lawyers aren't made to protect you. It's up to you... to protect yourself. Try and gain as much legal knowledge as you can... try to settle a dispute calmly... as best as possible.

And as for deleting this thread... what have I said to defame my half sister? Didn't list names... or anything. I told everything exactly how it went down.




Trying to understand your post. My sister's "end game" is to make sure she's in control of my dad's estate. Even though everything should be divided by 3.... who really knows what she's thinking in her head? She wanted to know where my dad's bnk accts were? I said I had no clue. The man wasn't declared dead yet... he was in the hospital at the time. Why would a woman ask this stuff? I texted this to her... she replied... Don't talk to me like that! I said... that was a ridiculous question to ask. I didn't talk to you like anything. And we didn't text for a week after that.




Thanks pal! Appreciate it!



Thanks man! Appreciate the post. I gave my sister control because she was crying over the phone. I thought these were tears of pure emotion of hurt... not emotions of "I have no control... what am I going to do?" And because she's the oldest... I felt a woman would protect her dad better than I could. She doesn't work... doesn't need a job. She's financially secure. I felt she could spend the most time with our father... and be better suited. Little did I know... this was going to happen.



I always listen to Jake




Excellent post. For some mysterious reason... when people age... people think they are dying... and they have financial gain. It's horrible. They don't think of that person's health or well being. They think of money. My mom past away 2.5 years ago... and it was only me and my brother. We always got along... but when someone dies... you battle. People don't listen to what you're saying. It was a shocker to me. Thankfully... me and my brother still talk... and the past is history. I would never deceive my brother or cheat him out. Everything was 50/50.

But... we all have to set standards and guidelines in wills. I explained this horrible story to one of my client's when my mom was dying 3 years ago. This woman (my client) was a down to earth person... level headed... early 60's an RN at a hospital. When she heard my story... and how easily things got out of hand. She made her will that week. She said... it amazed me how direct you are as a person... and sensible... and this happened to you? I don't want my 4 children battling each other. It's the most horrible thing that could ever happen. It's the absolute truth. Please advise your mom's and dad's in getting a will. It would save much discomfort in your family's tree.

Solid post...

Glad the boy grew to be a solid guy even without a father... Rarity, but good for you for turning the other cheek.. Don't be hateful, and don't harbor hatred, not healthy, you sound like your on the right track.. Your right about everything your saying, even the educating yourself part.. Lawyers will walk with everything if one lets them... Your dad sounds like a solid guy, sucks we have to get old... Here's another idea though..

you said the doc at hospital said he was fine after leaving hospital, you should get the report on that, and then go to your dad, see what he wants, and then follow through, because it sounds like you can prove mental stability there, between that and getting his regular doctor, to prove he's fine... If he wants to live out his days in the old folks home or go with your sister, shrugs, just support him...sounds weird though, when you say he's enjoying things he never liked, like cookies and not a wholesome meal...