what's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
the taste.
the taste.
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How do you fit four gay guys on a bar stool?
Turn it upside down.Comment -
A clown gets lost in the Sahara desert. He wanders around for days dying of thirst, and has no idea how he will get out of this. He looks up and sees buzzards circling overhead. He knows he is done for, And shortly later collapses and dies. The buzzards circle down and begin eating his remains, when one buzzard says to the others, "Man, this guy sure tastes funny"......Comment -
Your mother so fat that the horse on her Polo sweater is REAL!!!
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A Cowboys fan, a Giants fan, a Redskins fan and an Eagles fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were going back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Giants fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Giants" and jumps off the mountain. The Cowboys fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Cowboys," and jumps off the mountain. The Redskins fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Eagles fan of the cliff.
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Your mom so fat she can eat a piece of corn on the cob through a chain link fence.
Your mom so black she put finger prints on charcoal
Your mom teeth so crooked when she smiles it looks like her toungue is in jail
Your mom so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck
Your mom could suck the sadness off a widowComment -
Your mom so stupid I called her a "crackhead" and she went to the hospital to get stitches!!!
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Your mama so ugly that when she walks pass the toilet it FLUSHES all by itself!!!
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Giants not gay hahahaha ok ship the 10 that was Fukin funnyComment -
Yo Dad so fat not even Dora can explore him
Yo daddy so fat when he sat on a quarter a b00ger flew out of George Washingtons nose
Yo daddy is like the sun . Big, fat and hard to look at .
Yo dad so fat that he needed cheat codes to play Wii fit
yo Daddy so dumb that he put a quarter in each of his ears and thought he was listening to 50 centComment -
what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and sand?
I don't eat sandComment -
Baby seal walks into a clubComment -
Why are the greeks like sperm?
Only one in a million actually works...
What do you do to stop a Mexican from drowning ?
Take your foot off his head..
The tale of the two bikers...
A cross country truck driver who was about to start another long drive notices a smoking hot blonde girl hitching just seconds into his journey, Being the gent that he is he gives her a lift. Some time later the girl says "I have to pee", the trucker replies "Look i'm going 110mph on the interstate in 12th gear, I'm not stopping just go out the window"
So she positions herself out the window and lets it rip.
Meanwhile up a head there were 2 bikers smoking a Joint on the side of the ride when all of a suddon..
SPLASH!!! they both get covered in it,
one of them turns to the other and says "Fcuk those truckers can spit!!"
to which the other one says " Thats nothing did you see the lips on the cvnt"
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If I was not protected by some very powerful people in Cuba.....
TheGiant would most likely arrange a hit on me over the events that have unfolded in this threadComment -
: ‘I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make this interesting".
So we stopped playing chess.’
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A couple of funny ones, but nothing overly hilarious.
It's like the internet ran out of jokes.
How depressing.Comment -
Giant
Woman: Doctor, my husband tells me my pu$$y's too big. So I'd like you to tell me if you find it unusual. Doctor: Please, take off your clothes and I'll have you examined.
Doctor (shouting): What a giant pu$$y!!!What a giant pu$$y!!!
Woman (angry): Did you have to say it twice?!?
Doctor: I didn't!!! I didn't!!!Comment -
What do tofu and dildos have in common?
they are both meat substitutes.Comment -
What did one ESPN sports annalist say to another?
The jets have a chance this seasonComment -
Did you hear about the blind London circumsizer?
He got the sack.
Whats long and hard on most SBR posters?
the third grade
* in the uk getting sacked is getting fired.Comment -
circumcision has nothing to do with the sack...
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Man thinking:
*I always hate it when you've forgotten a girls name but it's been too long to just ask her*
Priest "Now Ashley do you take Ryan.."
*Ashley! Ashley's her name*Comment -
None of these jokes were very funny, except for Kraken's (Konck Landers), but I gave everyone points since Sam retired (translation: fired), and I'll probably get stuck with all these useless things anyway.
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a pedophile named WallStreetCappers is dragging a kid into the woods.
the kid is crying I'm scared, I'm scared, it is really dark, I'm really scared
Wally replies, " you're scared? Think how I feel, I'm going to be walking out of here alone "Comment -
Did you hear about the blind London circumsizer?
He got the sack.
He was later asked if he felt justice was done for not getting paid. He said it was ok because he kept all the tips.Comment -
Whats better than a joke? A JIG!
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So you picked up on that to. I thought it was fairly obvious from his OP that he was being run off. Hopefully he grabbed a few of those tv's on his way out. Good guyComment
