Lots of talk lately about friction in marriages where wives make more$ than husbands

[BrentCrude]

First off,would you as a man feel ashamed or inferior if your wife made substantially more money than you did?It seems like everything I read or listen to lately deals with this issue.I think there is a huge double standard where women get irked by their husbands making less than they do and it gets thrown in the guys face where he's reminded of it all the time.So much for women wanting equal rights where for time in eternity the men have always made more and they never threw it in their wives faces that they did.

The economy is set up for women to get further than men these days.By that I mean the government infuses hundreds of billions of dollars in health care,education-academia,social services,government services etc.and women gravitate toward those Keynesian economic, non private sector jobs.If the cement plant or Winnebago bus factory shut down because of a poor economy,the women in all the jobs I mentioned won't have to worry about layoffs because the government never lays anyone off.Then the government can artificially pay more in salaries too because they don't operate on the free market.

Then you have sort of a master plan by the government to make it where two people in the family have to work to support a household.That way the government can get a hold of the kids full time at a younger age to indoctrinate them and brainwash them in nanny care-pre,pre school.The government also likes it when two people in the family pay taxes instead of just one.The government also likes a family to go in over their head with a bit of credit card debt and buying too many toys they can't afford so they become indentured servants having to work forever and paying taxes and paying the banks.

So,after all my babbling,does anyone want to chime in how bitchy women have gotten where they think you as a guy are dead weight holding them back because you make less money than they do?I can especially see where if a guy gambles and makes less money than his wife where major problems would erupt over that.I can just hear women screeching how they wear the pants in the family and have to take care of the husband who gives a rats ass care less how they waste their wives money.

[Robyn]

Let's also talk about how writers in Hollywood have absolutely NO original ideas!

I am going to snap if I see one more remake of a 1970's sitcom.

[Sportsgirl]

I didn't answer anything in the original post, cuz I thought he was just asking the guys.

[RageWizard]

I would warmly welcome the idea of the wifey making as much or even more than me. As for the carrying the dead weight around, I kind of feel that way sometimes because my wife donates about 45 hours a week in various things to a cat shelter that doesn't pay shit. I guess that is what donate means. It is a total diametrically opposed idea to the way I work. If she made all of the money then I guess she would be making the money rules, and I would be out of several things that I enjoy, Sports investing, buying tools I'll never use, buying manly toys like quads and tractors, etc...
I don't think it would be a healthy relationship if one partner made all of the money and the other one sat at home watching Springer all day. I also don't think that someone being under employeed is a good thing either, but if the guy is a welder in a factory making $25 an hour and his wife is say a high priced hooker making $5000 an hour, and they are both doing their best to max out there marketablitly,then I don't think that compensation will be a big problem.

[swede96]

Brent, you say that as if men don't throw it in women's faces when THEY make more.

[RageWizard]

Brent, you say that as if men don't throw it in women's faces when THEY make more.

He left me with that impression also. The only time you can do that is when 1 partner is a lazy asshole and not contributing anything to the relationship not just money, but other things as well.

[Robyn]

It's none of my business how much money my husband makes. I also sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed.

[20Four7]

I didn't answer anything in the original post, cuz I thought he was just asking the guys.

Anyone who can call the Giants on the ML in the stupid, I mean super bowl is ok in my books. I'll listen to you sportsgirl.

[RageWizard]

It's none of my business how much money my husband makes. I also sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed.

HEY WEREN'T YOU GOING TO MAKE COOKIES EARLIER?

[Robyn]

I did. They are in the mail.

[20Four7]

Now back to the original question. A former co worker of mine wife got promoted and she ended up making more than him. He did very well anyways but she ended up making 10K a year more or something. He was fine with it. She wasn't. She left him because he was not a REAL man since his income was no longer the part.

He split with her sold their 1/2 million dollar house (that was 10 years ago) ended up buying some property here in Toronto. Now he owns 3 houses, 4 store front properties and is doing better than her. He also has the job he previously had and is working towards early retirement.

It's all Karma, what goes around comes around so you better think before you dish it out.

[Willie Bee]

Let's also talk about how writers in Hollywood have absolutely NO original ideas!

Robyn, according to Brent that's because there are too many liberal Jews in the entertainment business who have been nepotized into their jobs.

Allow me to throw a question or two back at Brent on this subject. You say there's been a lot of talk lately on the issue of which spouse has the higher income, and my first question is just where has that talk been? Are you sitting at home in the afternoons watching Ellen or Oprah or The View, something like that? Also, if a major industry within any community shuts down altogether or experiences massive layoffs, you are aware that the trickle down will affect all the ladies employed in the 'Keynesian sector,' right?

And finally, Brent, are you speaking about the bitchy women throwing salaries earned into their man's face from personal experience? Or are you just believing everything you read at onegianthonkinghumongousliberalconspirac y.org these days?

[Sportsgirl]

Anyone who can call the Giants on the ML in the stupid, I mean super bowl is ok in my books. I'll listen to you sportsgirl.

thanks, sweetie.

If I had a husband who made less moeny than me, it wouldn't bother me unless the reason was because he's lazy and unmotivated. If, for example, I'm married to a school teacher who is good and dedicated to his profession, of course I'll likely make more money than him - but that wouldn't mean I work harder. Some professions, while admirable are monetarily unforgiving.
My respect goes to the man who is motivated and hard-working, regardless of how much that pays.

[swede96]

Well, that lady sounds like a bitch that got what she deserved.

Personally, I strive to make enough to support myself without a man. I make decent money. I've dated guys that make less and I've dated guys that make more. Doesn't matter to me either way. As long as he's making enough to contribute and I'm not supporting him, I really don't care if my dude delivers pizzas for a living. But this argument really goes both ways.

I have one ex that made twice what I did at the time. I never asked him for a dime. I never needed help with my bills. However, when I quit my second job to go back to school (with his encouragement...and by encouragement, I mean never ending mission to make me feel stupid for not having a degree) and he wanted to go on all these expensive outings, I had to say to him: "I don't have the money to go to Block Island for the day. I litterally could not come up with $35 for the Ferry if I tried right now. If you'd like to take me, cool, but I can't pay for myself. I understand if you want to ask one of your friends instead." And from then on he looked at me like a gold digger. Even at lunch, he pretty much ordered the cheapest thing on the menu for me...and a water. He pretty much let me know that since he paid, we were going to do what HE wanted and spend the day on a moped even though I told him how petrified I was of them. Dick. He never fully believed that I liked him because he was funny and adorable, not because he drove a $30,000 car and made boatloads of money. If anything, the car worked against him.

I have another ex that never really held down a job...and never made more than me. I guess that made him feel inferior, because he would berate me any chance he got. When we were out of weed and I didn't have the cash to buy more all I heard was: "Oh, I guess you're no better off than me." or "What happened to all that big money you're making?" Well, asshole, it went to putting the gas that you used back in my car, buying you cigarettes, getting our last bag of weed and buying you take out because you refuse to let me cook for you.

Moral of the story: money is the root of all evil. It doesn't metter who is making more or if you make exactly the same. Everyone looks at money differently and everybody has different ideas about how it should be spent.

[swede96]

thanks, sweetie.

If I had a husband who made less moeny than me, it wouldn't bother me unless the reason was because he's lazy and unmotivated. If, for example, I'm married to a school teacher who is good and dedicated to his profession, of course I'll likely make more money than him - but that wouldn't mean I work harder. Some professions, while admirable are monetarily unforgiving.
My respect goes to the man who is motivated and hard-working, regardless of how much that pays.

I wanted to say that, but didn't know how.

[ShamsWoof10]

First off,would you as a man feel ashamed or inferior if your wife made substantially more money than you did?It seems like everything I read or listen to lately deals with this issue.I think there is a huge double standard where women get irked by their husbands making less than they do and it gets thrown in the guys face where he's reminded of it all the time.So much for women wanting equal rights where for time in eternity the men have always made more and they never threw it in their wives faces that they did.

The economy is set up for women to get further than men these days.By that I mean the government infuses hundreds of billions of dollars in health care,education-academia,social services,government services etc.and women gravitate toward those Keynesian economic, non private sector jobs.If the cement plant or Winnebago bus factory shut down because of a poor economy,the women in all the jobs I mentioned won't have to worry about layoffs because the government never lays anyone off.Then the government can artificially pay more in salaries too because they don't operate on the free market.

Then you have sort of a master plan by the government to make it where two people in the family have to work to support a household.That way the government can get a hold of the kids full time at a younger age to indoctrinate them and brainwash them in nanny care-pre,pre school.The government also likes it when two people in the family pay taxes instead of just one.The government also likes a family to go in over their head with a bit of credit card debt and buying too many toys they can't afford so they become indentured servants having to work forever and paying taxes and paying the banks.

Great read as always BCrude... I was dating a girl who at the time was a pharmacy student now pharmacist and I had it in my head a lot about her making more so that did put pressure on me... It is not pressure she put on me as a matter of fact money didn't mean all that much to her as far as judging people but it was more social pressure...

That being said I think society's influence sparks bouts about money and marriages... It's said that money is the #1 problem in marriages... I think money is like carpet.. If there is dirt underneath (meaning if they don't like or want each other to begin with) the carpet can cover it up but when the carpet is gone the dirt is exposed...

I really wouldn't care what my girl did.. She can spend her whole life volunteering for a good cause and I will be happy to support us both if I could...

[RageWizard]

I really wouldn't care what my girl did.. She can spend her whole life volunteering for a good cause and I will be happy to support us both if I could...

I agree, but if she starts to take advantage and get real lazy about it then she may have to go.

[hoopster42]

if its a marriage built on love and respect, it doesnt matter who makes more, its 2008 for God's sake

[HAPPY BOY]

Funny this thread popped up. i make twice as much as my wife. though lately when she gets mad at me (which is quite often these days) she says that she has a big money deal ,like if shes threatening me. I said fine, hell good for you we'll divide our assets and Ill be a fat cat. when we calm down and I ask her what deal shes talking about she says she doesn't want to jinx it. I hope she does get a lot of cash on this deal. Shiit man Ill stay home and become a house husband Im sick of fvcking busting my hump.

[Shark79]

My wife doesnt make more than I do ... but the business she works for is her dads ... therefore .... she will have WAY more money than I when we both retire ... so I wouldn't care at all if she did bring in more $$ than I ... I simply dont care ... it would just benefit us both ...

[Shark79]

Well, that lady sounds like a bitch that got what she deserved.

Personally, I strive to make enough to support myself without a man. I make decent money. I've dated guys that make less and I've dated guys that make more. Doesn't matter to me either way. As long as he's making enough to contribute and I'm not supporting him, I really don't care if my dude delivers pizzas for a living. But this argument really goes both ways.

I have one ex that made twice what I did at the time. I never asked him for a dime. I never needed help with my bills. However, when I quit my second job to go back to school (with his encouragement...and by encouragement, I mean never ending mission to make me feel stupid for not having a degree) and he wanted to go on all these expensive outings, I had to say to him: "I don't have the money to go to Block Island for the day. I litterally could not come up with $35 for the Ferry if I tried right now. If you'd like to take me, cool, but I can't pay for myself. I understand if you want to ask one of your friends instead." And from then on he looked at me like a gold digger. Even at lunch, he pretty much ordered the cheapest thing on the menu for me...and a water. He pretty much let me know that since he paid, we were going to do what HE wanted and spend the day on a moped even though I told him how petrified I was of them. Dick. He never fully believed that I liked him because he was funny and adorable, not because he drove a $30,000 car and made boatloads of money. If anything, the car worked against him.

I have another ex that never really held down a job...and never made more than me. I guess that made him feel inferior, because he would berate me any chance he got. When we were out of weed and I didn't have the cash to buy more all I heard was: "Oh, I guess you're no better off than me." or "What happened to all that big money you're making?" Well, asshole, it went to putting the gas that you used back in my car, buying you cigarettes, getting our last bag of weed and buying you take out because you refuse to let me cook for you.

Moral of the story: money is the root of all evil. It doesn't metter who is making more or if you make exactly the same. Everyone looks at money differently and everybody has different ideas about how it should be spent.

You sure picked some winners

[robmpink]

No problem at all. My wife makes more than I do. The funny thing is I have a degree and she doesn't. We work for the same company.

[thegreatdiatchi]

Not that I would marry a lazy girl that wants to do absolutely nothing but money shouldn't be the main concern of the relationship. There are certain situations where I wouldn't want my wife working at all (if she was pregnant or injured) or only part time (if she was helping to raise our children when they are young).

The more I live life the more I come to realize that how much money you make has a direct correlation with how much bullshit you can take. There are exceptions (which I am looking for very desperately) but ultimately most people don't like their jobs.

As long as both people are committed to do at least something (financial based or non-financial based) to make things work then I would be committed to the relationship.

[robmpink]

Not that I would marry a lazy girl that wants to do absolutely nothing but money shouldn't be the main concern of the relationship. There are certain situations where I wouldn't want my wife working at all (if she was pregnant or injured) or only part time (if she was helping to raise our children when they are young).

The more I live life the more I come to realize that how much money you make has a direct correlation with how much bullshit you can take. There are exceptions (which I am looking for very desperately) but ultimately most people don't like their jobs.

As long as both people are committed to do at least something (financial based or non-financial based) to make things work then I would be committed to the relationship.

I live in Wilkes Barre

[thegreatdiatchi]

I live in Wilkes Barre

Funny because I think I know who you are. Are you Lilly's husband? If so we played fantasy bases together before in one of Whitney's leagues. On top of that I think I also used to work with you at CIGNA.

[swede96]

You sure picked some winners

Yeah, well...you live and learn.

My current BF makes quite a bit more than me...when he's working. This is a slow time of year. We just pick up the slack when the other one needs it. No biggie, it's all going to be going into the same account someday anyways.

[jjgold]

marriage must be boring, why anyone would do it is behond belief.

I could not get it up after 3 months with a wife or even have a conversation with her after 6 months as it would be that boring.

Sorry I pass and hookers for me as they are exciting and fun and good in bed..

[ShamsWoof10]

The one thing I find interesting when talking to married people is this... The ones that are not happy in their marriage wish they never got married and the ones that are (that I asked anyway) said it's great but if they ever did get a divorce they would NEVER get remarried again...

It left me asking them this question: "If marriage is so good and yours is working out fine then why wouldn't you get married again..?" I got a wide range of answers...

I think marriage is becoming a thing of the past... I have noticed more people in their mid to late 20's and beyond that are still not married... 20 years ago "BONES" situation was not common... She is in her mid 20's and although she knows one day it will happen that day is not anytime soon "IF" it does happen... Nancy's situation would have been nearly unheard of but as I said this is becoming more common by the day...

[swede96]

I'm sure you were trying to get a dig in there, Shams, but you are right. Twenty years ago I would either be married with kids or considered an old maid by now...actually, more than 20...I'd say 50 years ago.

I don't think it's so much that marriage is a thing of the past, but that people are being more picky because they don't feel that social obligation to marry. Women have careers now. Fifty years ago they were expected to marry and start raising a family right out of highschool. Also, women are having babied older and older these days. We have more time to be selective in finding a mate.

[SSLP]

Ill mate with you any day

[swede96]

You sir, are going to get me in big trouble.

[ShamsWoof10]

I'm sure you were trying to get a dig in there, Shams, but you are right. Twenty years ago I would either be married with kids or considered an old maid by now...actually, more than 20...I'd say 50 years ago.

I don't think it's so much that marriage is a thing of the past, but that people are being more picky because they don't feel that social obligation to marry. Women have careers now. Fifty years ago they were expected to marry and start raising a family right out of highschool. Also, women are having babied older and older these days. We have more time to be selective in finding a mate.

Well you're getting better BONES...

You have successfully listed the reasons or some of the reasons "WHY" it is "becoming" a thing of the past...

People are more worried about their "carrers" which for most people is meanningless and less about putting quality time into their suginficant other...

We have more time to be selective in finding a mate.

"BONES" I disagree with you here I think you have it backwards.. I think we have less time not more...

[swede96]

Well you're getting better BONES...

You have successfully listed the reasons or some of the reasons "WHY" it is "becoming" a thing of the past...

People are more worried about their "carrers" which for most people is meanningless and less about putting quality time into their suginficant other...

I just don't thing marriage will ever be a "thing of the past". It may become less popular as the stigma of being unmarried isn't as harsh as it once was. Another reason we're not seeing as many marriages may be because people are more open with their sexuality. Homosexuals aren't hiding in the closet and getting into loveless marriages (as much) anymore. So while I agreen that not as many people are getting married these day, I wouldn't say that it will become a thing of the past.

"BONES" I disagree with you here I think you have it backwards.. I think we have less time not more...

How do you figure that? Women are having babies at 40 or 50 now. You just did not see that 20 years ago. Back in the 50's and 60's kids were getting married and starting families right out of high school. It was RARE to see any woman give birth after 30. Even as recently as 20 years ago, 35 would have been pretty damn old to be having kids. These day, woman don't feel as much pressure to get married as teenagers and have all their babies by the time they're 25. We have more time, not less. But I'd like to hear why you think we have less time.

[JoshW]

If you can keep the relationship how you want it, while , having a girl contribute her share of the expenses all the better. Her paying for more or everything, get dangerous, but hey pimps get away with it.

[ShamsWoof10]

How do you figure that? Women are having babies at 40 or 50 now. You just did not see that 20 years ago. Back in the 50's and 60's kids were getting married and starting families right out of high school. It was RARE to see any woman give birth after 30. Even as recently as 20 years ago, 35 would have been pretty damn old to be having kids. These day, woman don't feel as much pressure to get married as teenagers and have all their babies by the time they're 25. We have more time, not less. But I'd like to hear why you think we have less time.

MORNING BONES!!!

Well now that's a good question... how do I figure that..?

To start with there is much less quality time couples put towards each other... Women AND Men are too busy doing other things... The choices are changing and technology is one reason... Before you can call someone at home and "TALK" to them or if you were in their presents you had to share quality time with them and get to know them... Now when you call someone you don't know if they are busy, driving, f*cking, at the store, or god knows what else...

Today I see a couple sit there and one is texting while the other is playing fantasy somethingBALL!!! The wife might be on the net in a forum chatting because it's more fun then dealing with the same ole' everyday while the husband has more interest in his starting fantasy quarterback then to ask his wife how her day went...

These are only two distractions of thousands I can name as to why people don't have childrem and get married as early as they once did... People didn't just decide "oh well I am waiting to get married" but rather they are too busy caught up in other things to get married like a career...

Here is an example: My friend a few years ago graduated college and got a job in San Fransico but his girl has one in Chicago... He put his "carrer" over her and all that "career" is selling fork lifts for a company... BIG F*CKIN' DEAL!!! Years ago family was more important now it's a "career" which is someone thinking they do something important but really don't...