Person who posts funniest Joke gets 11 points now....

[Sunde91]

If I knew you were into the racist ones, this would have won it for sure:

[THE PROFIT]

A doctor had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty the next day. No matter how hard he tried to forget about it, his shame and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

But every once in a while he’d hear a reassuraning voice in his head that said, “Don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients.”

But then he would hear another voice, one that jolted him back to reality. “You are a sick bastard,” it whispered, “and a terrible veterinarian.”

[aggieshawn]

jjgold

[tltaylor89]

I went into a Chevron and asked for $10 worth of gas on pump 3 she walks out to the pump farts and hands me a reciept.

[jayroy25]

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

[Dhuan3]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
cause it wanted to

fukk you

[jayroy25]

jjgold

[tltaylor89]

Little Red Riding Hood decided to take the shortcut after being warned her would be sucked dry by the Big Bad Wolf .Finally the Wolf finds her and he says lift up your shirt so I can suck your dry.She lifts up her skirt and says you're going to eat me just like the story says.

[jayroy25]

A doctor had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty the next day. No matter how hard he tried to forget about it, his shame and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

But every once in a while he’d hear a reassuraning voice in his head that said, “Don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients.”

But then he would hear another voice, one that jolted him back to reality. “You are a sick bastard,” it whispered, “and a terrible veterinarian.”

[THE PROFIT]

Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

[Al Masters]

Boxing Joke......WARNING IF YOUR FROM NEW ENGLAND YOU MAY BE OFFENDED.


Why wouldnt John F Kennedy of been a good Boxer?














HE COULDNT TAKE A SHOT TO THE HEAD.

[ericthegangster]

Q: Why do girls like Jesus?
A: He's hung like this:

[jgiun1]

I just turned the 11 points I won into 169 in BJ......

[THE PROFIT]

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

[flyingillini]

How do you starve Leroy and Laquanda's family of four?
Hide Leroy's food stamps under his "work" boots.

[ericthegangster]

Q: How do you make a dead baby shake?
A: With a blender.

Q: What sound does a dead baby make when you put it in a blender?
A: I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

Q: Why do you put a dead baby in a blender feet first?
A: So you can *** on it's face.

[pico]

Black Parrot
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something, where did you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.





**************************************** ********************
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

leroy joke is the best

[flyingillini]

There is a huge apartment complex with three stories that occupy it.
On the top story all the black people live on it.
The middle story all the mexican's live on it.
The bottom story all the white people live on it

There is a huge earthquake out here in California during prime time work hours 9-5 and it ruins the whole apartment building except for one floor. Everyone dies and there is chaos all over...Which floor lives and why?
Answer - The bottom floor lived because the white people were away at work. hahahahaha

[flyingillini]

come on that deserves some points! i got more of then

[pico]

a blind guy walked by the fish market and said, "good morning ladies".

[JW Cash]

My girlfriend called and said " Come on over...nobody's home "

I went over there.............there was NOBODY HOME !!!!

[THE PROFIT]

Some of Rodneys best


My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

[biggamer3]

I get no respect i tell ya, in High School i had to share a locker with a broom.

[Chi_archie]

some good ones in here, but i've learned some guys have a horrible sense of humor here as well... duds after duds were posted by some of the same people

[jlgarciaiii22]

How does a middle-eastern woman get pregnant...


Dresses up like a sheep!

[gryfyn1]

A Skeleton walks into a bar and orders a Beer and Mop.

[donkdown]

This is one from a few yrs back...

What do u call 100 white guy's chasing a black guy???

The PGA Tour!!!

[str]

Stupid Joke:

If you get your tonsils out it's called a?

tonsillectomy.

If you get your appendix out it's called an?

appendectomy.

If you have a male sex change operation it's called an?

addadicktome.

[Carson05]

George Burns was on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and bragged, that despite his 97 years, he could still have sex three times a night. After the show, Oprah said, "George, if I'm not being too forward, I'd love to have sex with an older man. Let's go back to my place.

So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, George says, "If you think that was good, let me sleep for a half hour, and we can have even better sex. But while I'm sleeping, hold my testicles in your left hand, and my penis in your right hand."

She says okay. He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex. George says, "Oprah, that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet. But again, hold my testicles in your left hand, and my penis in your right hand."

Oprah says,"Great, George, but tell me, does my holding your organs stimulate you while you're sleeping?"

George replies, "No, but the last time I slept with a black woman, she stole my wallet."

[bradthebloke]

why did jjgold cross the road? because his dick was stuck in the chicken

[bradthebloke]

a proctologist goes to a bank to deposit a check. while standing his line he reaches in pocket for his pen and pulls out a rectal thermometer instead. upon seeing this, he exclaims, "great, some asshole's got my pen!"

[eidolon]

So this chick meets a guy at a bar...<whisper whisper whisper whisper> P.S. your vagina's in the sink!

[bradthebloke]

[Brock Landers]

here is some of the best cartoons ever

Hustler Humor at its finest

[pico]

some good ones in here, but i've learned some guys have a horrible sense of humor here as well... duds after duds were posted by some of the same people

i agree. some are really good and some are just not funny at all. you can tell a lot by what kind of jokes that person likes.