Points for your worst date ever stories...

warriorfan707 · 11-16-11, 12:55 AM

The day frizzelli was born

TheCentaur · 11-16-11, 01:16 AM

Are you kidding has no one ever had a date on here?

DrStale · 11-16-11, 01:23 AM

If this qualifies as a date then JJ wins hands down:

Originally posted by jjgold

Originally posted on 12/27/2008:

I ain't big time???

Late last night she was sleeping and I peeked into her room and only had underwear on and basically tried to get her to notice me. I stood there for 40 minutes and hit something so she would awake. Yes she did and she told me to come in, I slowly edged towards her bed and asked if she has any problems that she needs to talk about and she started talking about herself and how she does not like herself kind of an emotional wreck like Robyn but way older, I comforted her and said all the right things and then slowly starting rubbing her arms and then moved my hands by her belly and rubbing there. Se said stop that it is not right and I said no baby it is all right and I was going to make you feel good. She started to be all at ease..................

Now I am going to seduce her and talk dirty, I said do you want my rooster inside of you?? She said yes so I take her hand and put it on my fukkin monster rooster and she starts rubbing it. Well I almost came and lucky I took her hand away. Ok I now go to closet and get TR-78 Lubricant works well with older ladies and had trouble opening it , Mommy heard me struggling in the closet and wanted to know what I was up to and i just said i was getting some jelly for my chapped hands.

Ok I get back into my aunts room and get lube open and start spreading it all over her boby , was kind of sticky so now making a fukkin mess and even got it in my rug and her hair.

I lube up her ass too just in case i go for kill, I furiously stroke my rooster now trying to get it up and now she mentions a condom and i told her no way and I do not use them and "you are fukkin 90 years old" and not going to get pregnant and she kind of resisted but I won her over so tell her I want to fuk her like a dog and told her to turn around, I slapped her ass a few times like the porn guys and tried inserting my rooster in her but it was too slippery. I put too much lube on her ass and everything was slippery. I flip her around and try regular style and same thing. We are creating a little noise now and Mommy asks if everything is alright and my aunt says yes with a sexy giggle.

Anyway I could not get it in her because just way too much lube and I asked her if I coulld fuk her in the ass and she said no, I tried telling her everyone does it so do not worry but she said no. I said blow me and she said no. Well she said forget about this and looked kind of frustrated and asked me if I every been laid before????????????

Fuk her

Never use lube unless your going to anal, my rooster had her excited and I fukked up . The lube gets all over and I even had a hard time flipping her over because she was too slippery, sheets need to be cleaned to,ect.

Well I tried and had a big shot but again failed. I cannot even fuk a 61 year old

caseyman011 · 11-16-11, 01:23 AM

Asked a girl out in late spring, so we decided to walk around outside. It was nice out and she went to a different school than I did, so she showed me around campus for a while. It was pretty interesting, she was probably slightly out of my league and I thought things were going well. We decided to grab a bite to eat at a place in the nearby bar district and sat outside. Halfway into the meal a hobo wanders down the street playing a harmonica and just rocking out. We barely even noticed him because things were going pretty smoothly and we had just discovered that we enjoyed the same kind of music. All of a sudden we hear a lot of shouting and swear words and look over to see another homeless man had appeared on the scene, angry at the former homeless guy about who owned that particular spot. It got pretty heated. We tried to ignore it, but it was slightly impossible as they were about 10 feet away from us. All of a sudden, the second homeless guy pulls a knife and stabs the first guy in the neck. He died really quickly and blood was EVERYWHERE. We were questioned by the police, had to make statements and everything. Basically ruined the evening and I got one more date out of it where we struggled to make conversation. After a murder, things were just really anticlimactic.

Grits n' Gravy · 11-16-11, 01:24 AM

Not so much a date but when I first moved to Vegas I was out with a group of friends at Foundation Room. Saw a hot girl at a table down the way and we caught eyes. We talked for a bit and had drinks. She was a local too and was quick to accept invite back to my place. At my house we hang for a bit and start going at it. When I pulled her jeans down, the odor was beyond awful. Imagine tt's body odor mixed in with rotten fish. It was a deal breaker. Had never smelled something that rank from a woman. I asked her what the hell was going on down there and told her she had to go. She had a lot of nerve to be out there like she was when her shit was messed up. Called her a cab because that smell was not getting back in my car. The worst part is my dogs took a whiff of the blanket she had been lying on and wouldn't go near it. Had to toss the blanket.

frizzelli · 11-16-11, 01:27 AM

The first time I met warriorfans mother was at a pub, we got hammered and she asked me to go home, so she takes me into the bedroom and tells me to put it in her ass. I couldnt get it in after about 10 times of her telling me she has never taken in shute. So as I am trying to fit it in she in one motion in the pitch dark ruffles thru a drawer grabs lube, lubes me up and her ass and bam I tap that until I pass out. I was so drunk I woke up 10 hours later with her shit on my legs, at this point its dry so I have willnots all over my legs and go into the shower leave and never speak of that night again.

TheCentaur · 11-16-11, 01:28 AM

Originally posted by DrStale

If this qualifies as a date then JJ wins hands down:
Originally Posted by jjgold
Originally posted on 12/27/2008:

I ain't big time???

Late last night she was sleeping and I peeked into her room and only had underwear on and basically tried to get her to notice me. I stood there for 40 minutes and hit something so she would awake. Yes she did and she told me to come in, I slowly edged towards her bed and asked if she has any problems that she needs to talk about and she started talking about herself and how she does not like herself kind of an emotional wreck like Robyn but way older, I comforted her and said all the right things and then slowly starting rubbing her arms and then moved my hands by her belly and rubbing there. Se said stop that it is not right and I said no baby it is all right and I was going to make you feel good. She started to be all at ease..................

Now I am going to seduce her and talk dirty, I said do you want my rooster inside of you?? She said yes so I take her hand and put it on my fukkin monster rooster and she starts rubbing it. Well I almost came and lucky I took her hand away. Ok I now go to closet and get TR-78 Lubricant works well with older ladies and had trouble opening it , Mommy heard me struggling in the closet and wanted to know what I was up to and i just said i was getting some jelly for my chapped hands.

Ok I get back into my aunts room and get lube open and start spreading it all over her boby , was kind of sticky so now making a fukkin mess and even got it in my rug and her hair.

I lube up her ass too just in case i go for kill, I furiously stroke my rooster now trying to get it up and now she mentions a condom and i told her no way and I do not use them and "you are fukkin 90 years old" and not going to get pregnant and she kind of resisted but I won her over so tell her I want to fuk her like a dog and told her to turn around, I slapped her ass a few times like the porn guys and tried inserting my rooster in her but it was too slippery. I put too much lube on her ass and everything was slippery. I flip her around and try regular style and same thing. We are creating a little noise now and Mommy asks if everything is alright and my aunt says yes with a sexy giggle.

Anyway I could not get it in her because just way too much lube and I asked her if I coulld fuk her in the ass and she said no, I tried telling her everyone does it so do not worry but she said no. I said blow me and she said no. Well she said forget about this and looked kind of frustrated and asked me if I every been laid before????????????

Fuk her

Never use lube unless your going to anal, my rooster had her excited and I fukked up . The lube gets all over and I even had a hard time flipping her over because she was too slippery, sheets need to be cleaned to,ect.

Well I tried and had a big shot but again failed. I cannot even fuk a 61 year old

ttwarrior1 · 11-16-11, 01:28 AM

sorry i don't have body odor, one of my good qualities

aggieshawn · 11-16-11, 01:30 AM

CaseyMan011 what city? You know in most major cities you could probably see a double/triple homicide by your fourth date.
Should have toughed it out with her.
6 Murders within 1/2 mile of my house so far this year. Last one was on Sunday night. 2 kids a rifle and small fight. One dead, one has now just disappeared. No kid, no gun still.
Interesting story though.

Iwinyourmoney · 11-16-11, 01:31 AM

SBR search for my threads about trailer girl.

Guarentee I take it hands down

DrStale · 11-16-11, 01:33 AM

Originally posted by Iwinyourmoney

SBR search for my threads about trailer girl.

Guarentee I take it hands down

Lazy

Iwinyourmoney · 11-16-11, 01:36 AM

Here

http://forum.sbrforum.com/saloon/151946-pictures-crazy-trailor-girls-place.html

OTL · 11-16-11, 01:38 AM

I once took a girl out to a Chinese restaurant when she was coming down with the flu (unbeknowst to me). We had a nice dinner before she projectile vomited all over the dining area to the horror of everybody there

caseyman011 · 11-16-11, 01:43 AM

Originally posted by aggieshawn

CaseyMan011 what city? You know in most major cities you could probably see a double/triple homicide by your fourth date.
Should have toughed it out with her.
6 Murders within 1/2 mile of my house so far this year. Last one was on Sunday night. 2 kids a rifle and small fight. One dead, one has now just disappeared. No kid, no gun still.
Interesting story though.

Lincoln, NE oddly enough.

And where do you live? Chicago?

Grits n' Gravy · 11-16-11, 02:06 AM

Originally posted by ttwarrior1

when I was just a little warrior I was selected to go to this football camp for kids in Pennsylvania. I was the fastest kid on my team and the strongest. I had heard how great the camp was and the best kids got to shower and play with the coach at the end of the day. I was so psyched to horseplay with the coaches and my heart was broken when the coach wouldn't let me into the shower with him because i was too needy and smelled funny. Moral of the story is now i don't have body odor, one of my good qualities

Nice one tt.

koz-man · 11-16-11, 02:10 AM

It was awhile back. I was about 21 or 22 we went to a movie than grabbed a couple 6-packs and drove around for awhile. I parked at a school parking lot. It was cold out so I put the packs out in the snow. What I did not realize was as I opened the door the interior light could be seen and it got the police attention. The officer pulled up spotted the beer and made us drive to the station. He cited me with littering. But we were @ the station for at least 2 hours before he let us go... She was not to happy about this date and we never hooked up again.

iceminers26 · 11-16-11, 02:39 AM

Went to rippers (BYOB), got wasted, took the dancer home that had the big black boots on (was wasted and they turned me on, guess I forgot to look at her face)... buddy took home the hot one, blonde nice face, body, etc... I had the busted one.... fast forward wake up the next morning with claw marks on my back and pissing razor blades... trip to doctor next to get rid of clap... probably my worst date off top of my head but sure I had a few worse if I sit down and think a bit.

excel · 11-16-11, 03:28 AM

Originally posted by caseyman011

Asked a girl out in late spring, so we decided to walk around outside. It was nice out and she went to a different school than I did, so she showed me around campus for a while. It was pretty interesting, she was probably slightly out of my league and I thought things were going well. We decided to grab a bite to eat at a place in the nearby bar district and sat outside. Halfway into the meal a hobo wanders down the street playing a harmonica and just rocking out. We barely even noticed him because things were going pretty smoothly and we had just discovered that we enjoyed the same kind of music. All of a sudden we hear a lot of shouting and swear words and look over to see another homeless man had appeared on the scene, angry at the former homeless guy about who owned that particular spot. It got pretty heated. We tried to ignore it, but it was slightly impossible as they were about 10 feet away from us. All of a sudden, the second homeless guy pulls a knife and stabs the first guy in the neck. He died really quickly and blood was EVERYWHERE. We were questioned by the police, had to make statements and everything. Basically ruined the evening and I got one more date out of it where we struggled to make conversation. After a murder, things were just really anticlimactic.

TheCentaur · 11-16-11, 12:10 PM

Originally posted by excel

Yeah, Im leaning towards this one to. Too bad this thread was sent to the saloon to die, probably won't see many more posts.

frankthetank · 11-16-11, 12:19 PM

points or no this is pretty crazy and true. I was 19 and asked an older banker chick to the movies. she was 26, real prim and proper. we dressed nicely and went to dinner then the movie. everything was going well. we came out and got into my p.os. ford escort and it woudlnt start. it wouldnt even turn over. i was embarassed but also pissed off. my anger had been building toward this car because of all the trouble i was having with it on previous days. so she started nagging and i started sweating and then I freaked out and punched the dashboard with all my might. my hand went right through the cheap plastic and fabric into the dashboard. when i ripped my hand back out it sliced my hand up and blood went everywhere. you should have scene the look on her face. needless to say that was the first and last date.

stikymess · 11-16-11, 01:04 PM

I was a courier for a doctor's office years ago, hot chick at a plastic surgeons office, worked her for months finally I think her plans fell apart cause she asked me out on Cinco de Mayo. We had an office party so free food right, pigged out. So went to downtown Tempe seen a live band throwing 'em back. Both pretty toasted, got back to her place started making out, Mexican food came back up, she claimed I got vomit on her, I swear I missed but the rug was ruined. The aftermath is I had to see her twice a week for deliveries. No second date. At least she didn't give me a bill for the rug.

v1y · 11-16-11, 01:59 PM

umm... all of my date stories are messed up.

So some hot girl starts at my work, I can tell right off the bat she's a little ****** up because she told me she's 18 and wasn't living with her parents. Second day I saw her she came in on her off day and was a little flirty, so I told her I'd take her out that Wednesday.

I tell my coworker about this, and he's like, "Dude, you know she has a kid, right?". Me: "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"

So, being the gentleman I am, I take her out anyways, and I really feel like we have a connection, despite the fact that she's so ****** up and told me:
-She's a big chain smoker
-She had to get her MRI results "from getting stabbed a year ago"
-She smoked throughout the pregnancy because her doctor said it would be better for her baby than quitting and putting her own body through stress.
-She wanted to become a stripper, but was self conscious about her stab wound and c-section scars.
-She didn't even have custody of the kid, because she was caught driving without a license, and her parents took the kid.

Took her home, hugged, her, she got fired from work a week later, and I've never seen her since!

Inkwell77 · 11-16-11, 02:18 PM

Some of these are pretty epic.

frankthetank · 11-16-11, 04:08 PM

and I am much calmer since those days btw. lol.

these other stories are pretty good.

flocko76 · 11-16-11, 04:37 PM

I went out with this girl to the club. Around 130 am there is a shooting some club down the street so the cops say no one can leave. Last call is about 1:45 so we're stuck there for an hour after the bar closes with no drinks. plus, it was daylight savings so we set the clocks an hour ahead and lost an hour so instead of getting home at 3:30, its really 4:30 and she want to just go to bed so all that and I didn't get any.

pinnerpsk · 11-16-11, 05:37 PM

During my college days I went on a date with a random chick. I took her to a nice restaurant

and we decided to kick things off with a few appetizers. The chick ordered a bowl of tortilla soup and started in on it. After a few minutes of her talking, blah blah blah...I noticed what appeared to be a big monster booger slowly inching out of her left nostril. I didn't want to embarrass the chick but the more she talked the more it seemed to inch out of her nose and engulf more of her face. After another 10 minutes or so the entire monstrosity of a booger just fell out of her nose and right into her bowl of soup!

The funny thing is that she never even noticed it and went right on blabbing about who knows what. Of course I was a complete gentleman and didn't mention the fact that she had a monster boog floating around in her soup. Alas, she finished the entire bowl of soup and even remarked about how tasty it was!! Everything was good to go after that. She was a freak and I couldn't stop thinking to myself that perhaps the booger was some type of aphrodisiac or something because it ended up being an epic night!

cetillman2 · 11-16-11, 06:07 PM

Was in the backseat of the car starting to get into some action. Just when things were starting to get to the point of no return I kick a road flare that was under the seat. Talk about a buzzkill we had to jump out of the car and wait for the smoke to clear before we could even drive home. Never attempted it again.

EBDOGGN · 11-16-11, 09:46 PM

I dont even want points for this story. I get a kick out of it just thinking about it... I used to work at a call center w about 70 other ppl my age.. was amazing. anyhow I was dating some girl and ended up breaking up w her to get with her 2nd cousin that had just gotten hired.. I thought it was a good idea. on one of our days off me and a few co workers decide to go to the beach. I bring the new girl w me. we had a blast got drunk as shit and finally made my way home with this broad .. we get to my room start making out and shit she gives me head
for 5 min and I start untieing her bathing suit.. before I know it her bottom peice is off and this f'ing whor.e has 70's porn hairy pussy. I couldn't even see her puss.y ! worst part about the story is that I was so wasted that it didn't phase me and I went str8 downtown and starting munching on the bush.. most disgusting feeling I've ever experienced till this day. wet pubes in your mouth is an under rated horror!!!

EBDOGGN · 11-16-11, 09:58 PM

guys im not done. soo I thought that was it .. id never do it again. WRONG! about 3 weeks later im out having beer w a co worker and I get a late night text from the same girl telling me she's home alone with her friend and to go over.. I come up w/me an excuse to ditch my co worker and head to this chicks crib in hopes on landing a threesome. after all that's what she made it seem like.. I even pass by my house witch was
5mins from hers and wash my balls and shit. long story short I get to her house and her bestfriend is sleeping!! wtf! we grab a bottle of wine and start drinking it in the same bed her friend is sleeping in. she finds a way to seduce me and we start making out. I improvised this time and made believe I was ganna finger her. what I was really doing was trying to find out if she shaved already. dumb whor.e still has a bush. so I quickly remove my hand and tell her to wake up her friend so we can have more fun. this girl says she's not into that and rather have sex w me. at this point im completely turned off but I Gatta nut.. so I tell her ok but I have no condom. she then tells me to drive to the gas station down the street and buy.. in my mind I lmao and tell her ok but to give me some head so I don't walk around with a boner. she agrees and sucks me dry till I ***. I tell her ill be right back and that was the last time we ever talked. lol.. worked with the girl 4 more months before she got
fired. .

frankthetank · 11-16-11, 11:08 PM

good 1!

Originally posted by EBDOGGN

guys im not done. soo I thought that was it .. id never do it again. WRONG! about 3 weeks later im out having beer w a co worker and I get a late night text from the same girl telling me she's home alone with her friend and to go over.. I come up w/me an excuse to ditch my co worker and head to this chicks crib in hopes on landing a threesome. after all that's what she made it seem like.. I even pass by my house witch was
5mins from hers and wash my balls and shit. long story short I get to her house and her bestfriend is sleeping!! wtf! we grab a bottle of wine and start drinking it in the same bed her friend is sleeping in. she finds a way to seduce me and we start making out. I improvised this time and made believe I was ganna finger her. what I was really doing was trying to find out if she shaved already. dumb whor.e still has a bush. so I quickly remove my hand and tell her to wake up her friend so we can have more fun. this girl says she's not into that and rather have sex w me. at this point im completely turned off but I Gatta nut.. so I tell her ok but I have no condom. she then tells me to drive to the gas station down the street and buy.. in my mind I lmao and tell her ok but to give me some head so I don't walk around with a boner. she agrees and sucks me dry till I ***. I tell her ill be right back and that was the last time we ever talked. lol.. worked with the girl 4 more months before she got
fired. .

robzilla · 11-16-11, 11:32 PM

Alright here we go.... When I was about 24, I had what I called the summer of 50 dates. I got out of a long term relationship, and I was convinced that I needed to have as many dates as possible to find the girl of my dreams.

So I was on some dating website, and I noticed one of the profiles was a girl that lived in my apartment building. She's pretty hot. We decided that we would meet for coffee. After coffee, I ask her if she wants to watch the first season of Chappelle show that I just bought.

About 5 mins into the first episode we are making out and, discover everything is pierced. 5 Minutes later she says, "hold on, I have to tell u something." I say, "okay?" She says, "Im pregnant."

Shocked look

Smoke bomb

Run to the door

Run to my apartment.

She tried to contact me a bunch more times.... but Robzilla aint yo baby daddy.
Needless to say, summer of 50 dates was not successful. I had many more bad dates, but that was the worst.

infamousbacardi · 11-17-11, 12:13 AM

my buddy was telling me the other day about a story of his...he gets a call from his buddy to meet him at the bar down the street from his house, because he wanted to introduce him to this chick. He says ok, goes down to the bar, hits it off w/ this chick. He ends up taking her back to his place. They are talking about getting to know each other...they started making out and everything, she said, "hang on, I have to go freshen up."...she goes to the bathroom, comes back out, they start making out and shit again, takes her pants off and shit...decides he has to piss quick...goes in the bathroom...and finds a floater. Apparently she took a shit and forgot to flush it...he said he couldn't even come close to getting it back up...totally killed the mood, and he spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out how he was going to get out of the situation. Long story short, he came up with some bs about how he was a religious guy and didn't want to take advantage of her, yada yada yada...she bought it and left...but, nonetheless...he said he couldn't mess w/ her again, said it was a deal breaker to him. A girl I didn't know, have to say, I'd agree w/ him.

TheMoneyShot · 11-17-11, 12:32 AM

***** TRUE STORY - YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT *****

This really wasn't a date... but a story in sequence... but one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

When I was 16-17 I use to hang out at a local bowling alley. Met this fine chick one Saturday. She was smoking hot. Til this day... I never forgot her image. Her name was Nichole. Back then we only had pagers. So we swapped pager numbers. All I remember her telling me was that she was from a city called Monroe. I paged her 4 or 5 times... she never called back.

I was heart broken. I was seriously sad about it. Totally sad.

Then one day I was on yahoo chat. I was 18 years old. I was in this one chat room and this chick PM's me out of nowhere. She goes hey what's up? I said not much... She goes... what's your name? I said TMS. She goes nice to meet you TMS my name is Nichole. Now, it never dawned on me when she said the name Nichole. I just continued talking to her. I said how old are you Nichole? She goes I'm 18. (Which the other Nichole would of been 18 by now.) I said... hmmmmm could it possibly be the girl I met from when I was 17? I said describe yourself. She goes I have blonde hair, blue eyes... I'm about 5'7'' Exactly the same description of the Nichole I was head over heels for! I said to myself could it be? I'm like so... where do you normally hang out at Nichole. She goes... well I go to this one bowling alley in this one city called #$#%# Lanes. I said Nichole!!!! It's TMS!!! Remember that one Saturday over there??? Like a year ago!! I was like no fu#$ing way! How have you been girl??? This is so cool! She goes... I thought it was you too! I never would of guessed it!!! She was so excited... and I'm saying to myself... OMG don't lose your chance on her!! Be calm... Be calm... I said wow... this is so cool Nichole! I'm really happy I ran into you! She goes... are you? That's really sweet to hear. She goes... you know what?? Would you like to see me tomorrow? I'm like sure!!! But... this was the early stages of the internet... how can you confirm it's really her??? Think... think. Oh... it's gotta be her! Oh yes!! I have it... the city she was from!! Ask her?!?!? Hey Nichole... what city were you from again?? I forgot. Well TMS I'm from Monroe you knew that. LOL I'm like CHA CHING!!! I said... ok tomorrow is good... what would you like to do? She goes let's just hang out at my place... no one should be home. I'm like.... OMG... awesome!!! Ok Nichole... I'll see you tomorrow... and she gave me her address.

So... I'm driving to Monroe!! So excited!!! I pull up to her place... And strut to the door! This girl answers the door... and she doesn't say it's Nichole... so I'm thinking it's her sister. She goes come on in TMS. And sit down right here on this couch. As I walked in a noticed 8 family members all smiling at me... and very excited to meet me. I'm like... wow... this is odd. But what do I care?? I'm waiting for Nichole... where the hell is she??? So the girl who answers the door sits down beside me and just stares at me. And I said hello?!?!?! :/ She goes hi. I said... are you like Nichole's sister or something??? Is she still getting ready? She goes TMS... it's me Nichole!!! And she hugs me. I'm saying to myself... you are the most hideous, awful, horrendous, sickening, most unattractive girl I have ever seen before. WTF is going on. (Luckily we were sitting off to the side so her family couldn't hear majority of the conversation.) I'm saying to myself... TMS... think think... what the hell is going on?!?!?!?! I just wanted to go somewhere so I could talk to her in private one on one... because there was a big misunderstanding... so the first thing I thought of was... So Nichole could I talk to you in your bedroom? (I'm like oh sh#$ did I just say that??) She goes my bedroom TMS??? And smiles... I said well... no... not exactly... she goes no it's ok my family doesn't care... that's a perfect idea. I'm like holy sh#$. All of a sudden... I'm getting this massive headache from hell. The embarrassment... the pressure... the humiliation all in one.

So she takes me to her bedroom... and closes the door 90% of the way. We sit on her bed. I said listen... there seems to be a BIG MISUNDERSTANDING!!!! You aren't the NICHOLE I met last year!!! She starts laughing... and goes... I know. I said why in the hell did you lie to me???!?! She goes I didn't lie to you! I said yes you did!!! She goes no I didn't... my name is Nichole... I go to that bowling alley... and I live in Monroe... I have blonde hair, blue eyes. How did I lie to you? I'm like....

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

you just knew you weren't the Nichole I knew!!!! She goes... well you know me now don't you??? I'm like...

(I have to get outta here somehow...) My headache was thumping... I said do you have any aspirin? She goes why??? I said I have a major headache right now.. I'm not feeling so good. She got me aspirin... and she came back... I said listen... I have to go I don't feel good. I will chat with you later on at yahoo ok?? She goes... I don't want you to go... I said I will be back... I promise... real major pain in my head... I will take you out later on... So I leave... as I get into my car... I feel totally unshackled!!! OMG... what a relief to get the F outta there!

What a lesson learned.... what a coincidence. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life... til this day... 16 years later has passed... she still is by far... the most unattractive girl I have ever seen before. What were the odds?? You know???

I got her on chat one day... totally went off on the bit#$!!! I was like you totally set me up!!! F U!!!! And that was that... thank goodness. The highs and lows of meeting someone... what a momentum shifter.

Ralphie Halves · 11-17-11, 02:18 AM

I probably have a good three that would qualify, but this one is the quickest one to type believe it or not.

I worked with a smoking hot rich girl my one year in JUCO before I went back to the university. Spoiled rotten, vain as all hell too. Her stepdad made her get a job waiting tables, and that's where we worked. Usual sexual tension between us, something you wouldn't be surprised to see all the time in the restaurant industry. Went to a party at her enormous house the week before I went back, and made out with her while we we all drunk, but by my count alone, I was like the 4th guy that night, so nothing to get excited about.

Flash forward that following February. I'm at school a good 2 hours away, and I get a call from her out of the blue. I had changed phones and numbers since, but she went as far as to find my parents house in the white pages, call my mom and get my number from her. My mom to this day will still give my number to any stranger as long as they're nice on the phone (an issue that came up in one of the other stories). We talked for a bit, and she asked what I was doing for Valentine's Day. I was just living the frat life at the time, attached to nobody, so I said "nothing, what did you have in mind?" She then told me that even though she's had her share of boyfriends, she'd never been out for Valentine's Day in her life, and would "make it worth my while" if I agreed to come up and spend that time with her. I told her I was broke since I wasn't working at the time. She laughed and said "I'm fukking loaded Ralphie, stop being a f\*g and get up here". Not like I needed any more convincing.

She picks me up in her Lexus and we head over to The Hill in St. Louis, where all the high-end goomba joints are. She looked awesome too, and everything was going buttery smooth as I enjoyed still the most insane seafood pasta I've ever had in my life, and had such a hot date that I kept catching other guys looking over. The only thing that was getting in the way was the fact that the entire frat house was just getting over colds that week, and I still had a trace of one. I had held in a lot of coughs so I wouldn't come off as sick, because with an uppity girl like this, that probably WOULD kill my chances. As she looked down at her plate, my body snuck one by me, and I let one of those phantom coughs go where you don't have enough time to cover your mouth. A spray of tiny little chewed up pasta noodles ended up in her hair and on her forehead. Craziest part was that she had no idea!! Kept right on talking and eating. I had a decision to make, and I chose to keep it quiet. She had just gotten back from the bathroom, so I felt good about my chances of her not noticing.

We finish and walk back to her car. She turned and asked me what time I wanted to wake up the next morning so she could set her alarm. I don't even know what I said back I was so pumped. It was cold and windy that night, which got most of that pasta out of her hair, which was awesome. As we get in the car, she checks herself in the mirror, and stares into it for awhile with a blank look on her face. A couple of pieces were still stuck to her forehead right where the hairline meets. She has dark brown hair, so you could really see it. She calmly, almost like a serial killer asked if I knew about what it was, where it came from and how long I had let it remain there. I came clean about everything, figuring it was the best way to go since I couldn't think of a lie right then and there. She started yelling at me, saying how a lot of those guys in in the restaurant that night worked at her father's firm and how embarrassed she was now.

We didn't talk the whole ride home. My last little shred of hope diminished as we passed her exit on the highway and headed back towards my parent's house.