funniest names for masturbation

[phillyhata1]

smashing the candle, butter the corn

[sickler]

spanking the monkey always leaves me in stitches

[spankie]

going blind.

[InTheDrink]

punching the clown

the ol five against one

[Chugs]

Spending time with Jill.

[doublej95]

choking the chicken.

wacking the pud.

[InTheDrink]

making the baby cry

[Poppa K]

Greasing the Flag Pole...

Visiting Rosie Red Palm and her five sisters..

[dizzy_7]

Arm wrestle the one armed vessel
beat the bishop

[hankcream]

For all the vegens out there:

Jerkin the gerkin
Milking the banana
Cuffing the carrot
Pulling the pickle
Coddling the cucumber

[Hootie Johnson]

Caress the cucumber, buff the banana, bludgeon the beefsteak, flog the log. the accordion solo.

[rsnnh12]

Lol some good ones in here. Took all of my favorite funny ones, so here's my personal fave that you can sneak into regular conversation- fapping.

Another good one is pudwhacking

[meader99]

Flogging the dolphin.

[OnlyMayo]

Killing Kittens...

[CaptainPrice]

fingering the legpit

[sickler]

For women:

Flicking the Bean
Polishing the Peanut
Two Finger Taco Tango

[Full Time Hobo]

Gettin to know Palmala Handerson

[samdapatriotsfan]

How about

Beat the meat

Dropping the kids off at the pool

Slopping the hog

[EmpireMaker]

waxing the bishop
hacking the carrot

[AMcBoarder]

Please stop, I'm about to piss my pants I'm laughing so hard.

[Mikail]

bop the bologne

[Roy Halladay]

stroking the magic dragon

[Grits n' Gravy]

whipping up some love mayo

[HeeeHAWWWW]

Bashing the bishop.

[BigSpoon]

Wanking
Googling yourself
Dishonourable discharge
Going Han Solo

[pmidy88]

waxing your man, beat your meat

[Jericholic]

Firing off some knuckle children

[brucethebear]

How about

Beat the meat

Dropping the kids off at the pool

Slopping the hog

I thought dropping the kids off at the pool was taking a dump.....

My faves:
Bashing the bishop
Popping the porpoise
Jerkin the Gherkin



BtB

[MendozaLine]

tossing off

[Poker_Beast]

Funny, have never heard of several if these.

[Roadtrip635]

pulling the pud
saluting the General
polishing the pistol
the clumsy stranger (using your 'off' hand after it's fallen asleep)

[shari91]

I thought dropping the kids off at the pool was taking a dump.....

Yes Brucearoo, I'm pretty sure that one means taking a poop. Caspy - THIS IS NOT THE SAME THING

[Vol_Bengal]

Milking your purple-headed yogurt slinger...

[paintball1084]

shower babies.........

[stevenash]

Make instant vanilla pudding