Fellas, I have a date for the first time in 13 years.

**BeatTheJerk** · 04-20-22, 07:06 AM

”My ex wife use to call me a professional panty dropper. Dumb bitch just meant to be more careful with the laundry”.

**Bostongambler** · 04-20-22, 07:06 AM

Tell her or him that you are getting treated for paranoia behind your back.

Oh, then slap her/his ass.

**Slurry Pumper** · 04-20-22, 07:51 AM

Taking any dating advice from this crowd is a sure fire way to retain blue balls.

I would say no liners, but mirror or repeat a few words of meaning from what she says. Don't use the word I, instead say shit like, "It seems like your into...". Let her do most of the talking and do your best to make it look like you give a shyt about what she is saying even when you don't. Also don't make it look like you need a good romp in the sack. Do all of that and she'll be riding you reverse cowgirl style before you know it.

**Bostongambler** · 04-20-22, 09:19 AM

Send us pics.

**actiondan** · 04-20-22, 09:26 AM

Originally posted by Bostongambler

Send us pics.

lolz she’d kill me

**MinnesotaFats** · 04-20-22, 09:47 AM

Pretty sure you'll get some solid jokes if you post pics.

1 joke per picture

**Bostongambler** · 04-20-22, 09:49 AM

Originally posted by actiondan

lolz she’d kill me

So the first girl you have dated in 13 years and you pick a murderer?

**Ian** · 04-20-22, 10:06 AM

GL Dan!

One liner? Yesterday I went to buy some camouflage pants, but couldn't find any... are you trying to make her think you're Steven Wright?

Also, post pics.

**Foxx** · 04-20-22, 10:35 AM

Just be yourself Dan, you're either funny or you're not. Remember, opposites attract so maybe you don't have to be funny if she is.

**newton0038** · 04-20-22, 12:24 PM

No more bush these days Dan. 😁

**thinwhiteduke** · 04-20-22, 12:32 PM

Posts: 2,402 Betpoints: 42

And today is 4/20.

Fishy, suspicious

**magpie878** · 04-20-22, 12:33 PM

"Come sit on my lap.. we'll talk about the first thing that pops up"

**KVB** · 04-20-22, 12:33 PM

Originally posted by BeatTheJerk

”My ex wife use to call me a professional panty dropper. Dumb bitch just meant to be more careful with the laundry”.

**KVB** · 04-20-22, 12:34 PM

Originally posted by actiondan

Recently divorced.

She has a silly sense of humor. Gimme your best one liners. Thx.

Some of the best date night one liners don't even require words...

Nomsayin'?

Get 'em Dan!!!

**Bostongambler** · 04-20-22, 02:19 PM

Originally posted by thinwhiteduke

Posts: 2,402 Betpoints: 42

And today is 4/20.

Fishy, suspicious

A wink is as good as a nod to a blind man.

**thinwhiteduke** · 04-20-22, 05:02 PM

Originally posted by Bostongambler

A wink is as good as a nod to a blind man.

And people are blind and ignorant to the fact that gematria and numerology rule their lives.

**edawg** · 04-20-22, 08:39 PM

If you put a cucumber in your pants to impress her remember it goes in the front not the back.

**pavyracer** · 04-20-22, 09:04 PM

Tell her you tried to get dating advice from strangers at a gambling forum. That will keep her laughing uncontrollably for 5 minutes.

**captrobey** · 04-20-22, 10:17 PM

I am really glad you agreed to go out with me. I thought it would be a lot easier since i was acquitted .

**DiggityDaggityDo** · 04-20-22, 10:37 PM

Originally posted by Bostongambler

So the first girl you have dated in 13 years and you pick a murderer?

**gauchojake** · 04-20-22, 10:49 PM

Woman
Whoa man
Hard hearted harbinger of haggis

**ttwarrior1** · 04-21-22, 07:51 PM

if your trying one liners, u have as much of a chance as minn fats to getting laid

**Bostongambler** · 04-21-22, 08:01 PM

How did it turnout?

**actiondan** · 04-21-22, 09:44 PM

We’re going out Saturday night. Wine her, dine her, 69 her.
We’ve been talking on the phone. This gal is wild. I wish I could post about it, you would shitt your pants. I probably shouldn’t but I’ll update after our date.

**ChuckyTheGoat** · 04-22-22, 12:46 AM

Good Luck, dan.

Are worried about being too Quick?

**manny24** · 04-22-22, 05:55 AM

regardless of size tell her you're embarrassed because you have a really small dikk while laughing it off

she will want to see it 100%

once the monster clears the zipper there's nowhere to go but poundtown GL Dan

**captrobey** · 04-22-22, 06:32 AM

Originally posted by actiondan

We’re going out Saturday night. Wine her, dine her, 69 her.
We’ve been talking on the phone. This gal is wild. I wish I could post about it, you would shitt your pants. I probably shouldn’t but I’ll update after our date.

Make sure that whatever church you take her to you let her go first during Communion .

**manny24** · 04-22-22, 03:47 PM

this 13 year load will make Peter North blush get it on film Dan do the right thing here

**Foxx** · 04-22-22, 03:54 PM

We hope you get some action Dan. Score one for the rest of us.

**mcaulay777** · 04-22-22, 04:21 PM

Hey Good Looking what's cooking. Or Are you speeding ticket because you are just fine and Finally this room is too dark can you smile to light it up.

**TheMetsSuck** · 04-22-22, 04:28 PM

Don’t go out with a loaded gun. Flog the dolphin 2x at the min if this is your first different lay in 13 years. Have a couple drinks before meeting her also so you can get a good buzz and not look like an alcoholic on date 1. It’ll loosen you up and make you last longer. Mb bring a bag of blow as a break glass incase of emergency situation. She might be fading or losing interest. Boom…you Are back in the game and if she is truly wild she’ll be snorting lines off your rooster

**slewfan** · 04-22-22, 05:07 PM

Tell her not to stand too close to the freezer, she will melt everything.. ( Steve Martin)

Have fun..

**MinnesotaFats** · 04-22-22, 05:27 PM

Just use some of PhillyGuys cologne

Stuff is remarkably effective, especially when you press the rag tight to her face....

**JIBBBY** · 04-22-22, 05:31 PM

Don't blow it! Pressure is on!

..