Who's got the biggest Longhorn???

[TheGoldenGoose]

[TheGoldenGoose]

A Lone Star longhorn has broken the Guinness World Record for having the longest horn spread on a steer.The record-breaking horns -- they have a 10-foot-7 span -- belong to Poncho Via, a 7-year-old specimen who actually lives in Alabama.

[TheGoldenGoose]

C'mon. NOBODY finds that impressive???

How about you Auto Donk? You could put them horns on the front of your Cadillac and drive around Texas. Get you an extra couple dips a week. Easy.

[Sanity Check]

Hide those things before china poaches it as a key ingredient in penis enlargement remedies.