Canadian Jackpot Winner Dies After Attempting To Gold Plate His Balls

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  • DwightShrute
    SBR Aristocracy
    • 01-17-09
    • 103410

    #1
    Canadian Jackpot Winner Dies After Attempting To Gold Plate His Balls
    I will miss jayvegas

    Canadian Jackpot Winner Dies After Attempting To Gold Plate His Balls

    POSTED ON NOVEMBER 19, 2015 BY ADMIN



    Many people like to flash their cash in different ways – for instance, gold and diamond mouth grills. But to celebrate his recent jackpot win, Justin decided to take it to another level.

    Justin Reiter from Alberta, Canada, died of medical complications after attempting to gold plate his own genitals to celebrate an astonishing $598,556 jackpot win.

    According to friends, the 27-year-old was enamored with the 2002 movie comedy Goldmember—an Austin Powers parody of the Bond movie Goldfinger in which Powers is hunting a criminal mastermind who colors his victims’ man parts in gold.

    Justin started by painting his genitals with a lead-based paint, but quickly decided that a simple coloring wasn’t enough: he needed to take it to the next level, he needed the real gold. To complete the makeshift operation, Reiter used a professional automotive gold plater that he borrowed from a garage.

    Unfortunately in the twelve hours following the procedure, Justing encountered a series of health issues that ultimately led to his death.

    Autopsy reports shows that the actual cause of death was lead-based paint poisoning.

    Dr Ian Joseffson of the Alberta Community Hospital warns of a growing trend of wannabie gangsters attempt the “deadly operation”.



    Some experts believe the trend stems from the Mayas who painted their bodies with gold to empower themselves as offering the gods.

    Others think it’s because, ultimately, these people are stupid.
  • SBRMAN23
    SBR Hall of Famer
    • 01-07-11
    • 6906

    #2
    oh man
    Comment
    • TheSchafe
      SBR MVP
      • 12-29-09
      • 2143

      #3
      What a way to go.
      Comment
      • Auto Donk
        SBR Aristocracy
        • 09-03-13
        • 43558

        #4
        Tho two of my nicknames among the swingers crowd in h-town were "golden balls" and "balls of thunder," I resisted the temptation to guild my sack....

        plus, doing so might have enticed the gold digger types that sometimes frequented DonkLand to abuse the "reach back and grab some sack" command, and it would have been hard to get a good night's sleep knowing said gold digger types might try to chisel the gold plating off my nuts when I finally crashed on Sunday after partying since thursday night with no sleep til Sunday evening............
        Comment
        • slayer14
          SBR Posting Legend
          • 08-12-13
          • 22022

          #5
          Dummy
          Comment
          • KVB
            SBR Aristocracy
            • 05-29-14
            • 74817

            #6
            Dwighty are you posting more yellow journalism? There was a fake story about a gang member doing this same thing for the same reason.

            Methinks this is another hoax...maybe not the lead poisoning part though.

            But if it's real...



            Comment
            • packerd_00
              SBR Posting Legend
              • 05-22-13
              • 17811

              #7
              Seems to unbelievable to be honest,funny you say about jayvegas though,haven't seen him around lately.
              Comment
              • rkelly110
                BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                • 10-05-09
                • 39691

                #8
                WTF!!
                Comment
                • DwightShrute
                  SBR Aristocracy
                  • 01-17-09
                  • 103410

                  #9
                  Originally posted by packerd_00
                  Seems to unbelievable to be honest,funny you say about jayvegas though,haven't seen him around lately.
                  ya, I am seriously questioning the validity of the article but it was meant to bust jayvegas' balls. Pun intended.
                  Comment
                  • BiTeMe UsAdOj
                    SBR Hall of Famer
                    • 08-18-11
                    • 7537

                    #10
                    RIP Beerdog99
                    Comment
                    • mikejamm
                      SBR Posting Legend
                      • 08-24-09
                      • 11047

                      #11
                      Well if it is true, one less stupid idiot in the world.
                      Comment
                      • DwightShrute
                        SBR Aristocracy
                        • 01-17-09
                        • 103410

                        #12
                        Originally posted by mikejamm
                        Well if it is true, one less stupid idiot in the world.
                        natural selection
                        Comment
                        • MoMoneyMoVaughn
                          SBR Posting Legend
                          • 05-08-14
                          • 14988

                          #13
                          Alberta is the real wild west.

                          Crazy out there.
                          Comment
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