Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:
1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).
Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.
Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.
Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.
I will accept check, ***********, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid *********** for a few days and we'll call it even.
Comment
SP216
SBR Hustler
04-15-15
65
#4
People troll CL to get their stuff posted on the intrrnet.
Comment
Auto Donk
SBR Aristocracy
09-03-13
43558
#5
a guy i know once got paid by a nfl player -- the player approached him in a trendy bar in H-town -- to beat his ass while he (the player) jerked off wearing nothing but a pair of panties..... $1000 bucks, the guy paid him back at his hotel room before the episode.....
friend says the guy blew his load about four punches in..... said it was the easiest grand he ever made....... and no, the friend didn't have to undress or anything, just punch the freak while the latter rubbed one out...... big caucasian offensive lineman....
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BiTeMe UsAdOj
SBR Hall of Famer
08-18-11
7537
#6
Originally posted by Auto Donk
a guy i know once got paid by a nfl player -- the player approached him in a trendy bar in H-town -- to beat his ass while he (the player) jerked off wearing nothing but a pair of panties..... $1000 bucks, the guy paid him back at his hotel room before the episode.....
friend says the guy blew his load about four punches in..... said it was the easiest grand he ever made....... and no, the friend didn't have to undress or anything, just punch the freak while the latter rubbed one out...... big caucasian offensive lineman....
Yeah... the priest diddling in their youth forever leaves a mark
Did it continue at ND?... meh, never know
Least he fits right in @ Jerry's Gloryhole
Comment
Big Bear
SBR Aristocracy
11-01-11
43253
#7
Originally posted by TheMoneyShot
would u guys still bang this chick?
Comment
ByeShea
SBR Hall of Famer
06-30-08
8113
#8
Originally posted by Auto Donk
a guy i know once got paid by a nfl player -- the player approached him in a trendy bar in H-town -- to beat his ass while he (the player) jerked off wearing nothing but a pair of panties.....
Correction: that's a male prostitute you know.
Anyway, summer is here. How about you and me go camping?
Comment
Auto Donk
SBR Aristocracy
09-03-13
43558
#9
Originally posted by ByeShea
Correction: that's a male prostitute you know.
Anyway, summer is here. How about you and me go camping?
I don't know if it qualifies as prostitution since he wasn't being paid for his kahk, but rather only four punches. In Borat's words, no hand relief was given, no ass was invaded, and no oral cop......