How to beat a lie detector test?

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  • warbux
    SBR Wise Guy
    • 11-17-13
    • 896

    #1
    How to beat a lie detector test?
    I'm in big trouble boys and am scheduled to take a lie detector test soon. How do I beat it?
  • cloverfield
    SBR Wise Guy
    • 12-24-10
    • 862

    #2
    Every time you are about to lie, clinch your butt cheeks.
    Comment
    • downsouth
      SBR Posting Legend
      • 01-13-11
      • 11580

      #3
      Get yourself as amped up as possible prior to even being sat down. Find way to stay as amped up the entire time. Shove something up rear thats very large and hurts, continue to focus on huge foreign object in rear. Lie away while continuing to think of object in rear.
      Comment
      • DiggityDaggityDo
        SBR Aristocracy
        • 11-30-08
        • 81450

        #4
        Warbux, are you the father?
        Comment
        • RubberKettle
          SBR Hall of Famer
          • 12-28-09
          • 6421

          #5
          Get a thumbtack and put that shit in your shoe. Its going to pierce your toe and every single question you are going to pulse the toe so it is painful.
          Comment
          • Ted Sheckler
            SBR MVP
            • 01-08-14
            • 1936

            #6
            nice thread big bear.
            Comment
            • Kermit
              BARRELED IN @ SBR!
              • 09-27-10
              • 32555

              #7
              Everything you need to know is right here:

              Comment
              • recon1
                SBR MVP
                • 08-13-12
                • 2579

                #8
                Originally posted by cloverfield
                Every time you are about to lie, clinch your butt cheeks.
                No, only do that when your asked a question that is true, like what is your name, when asked a question your not sure about or wanting to be dishonest, relax. At best you'll throw an inconclusive result.

                What did you do or accused of doing Bear?
                Comment
                • Ghenghis Kahn
                  SBR Posting Legend
                  • 01-02-12
                  • 19734

                  #9
                  take some xanax or if you don't have a prescription get some phenibut pills and take a gram of it at least couple hours before the test. gl
                  Comment
                  • Auto Donk
                    SBR Aristocracy
                    • 09-03-13
                    • 43558

                    #10
                    easy....... how bout tellin' the fucckin truth.....
                    Comment
                    • Ted Sheckler
                      SBR MVP
                      • 01-08-14
                      • 1936

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Auto Donk
                      easy....... how bout tellin' the fucckin truth.....


                      that's no fun for the bear now is it?
                      Comment
                      • chipper
                        SBR MVP
                        • 01-07-10
                        • 1994

                        #12
                        I've heard that if you practice alot before your test you can convince yourself that you are telling the truth & pass the test.
                        Comment
                        • Big Bear
                          SBR Aristocracy
                          • 11-01-11
                          • 43253

                          #13
                          Originally posted by warbux
                          I'm in big trouble boys and am scheduled to take a lie detector test soon. How do I beat it?
                          convince yourself you are telling the truth.

                          the mind is a powerful thing.

                          answer with no hesitation.
                          Comment
                          • OTL
                            SBR MVP
                            • 03-08-10
                            • 2433

                            #14
                            They can't force you to take a lie detector test in North America. In Canada the results aren't even admissable in court.

                            The only way to pass the test lying is if you are a sociopath or if you are delusional enough to convince yourself you are telling the truth.
                            Comment
                            • Spedizzo
                              SBR MVP
                              • 12-16-11
                              • 1557

                              #15
                              every time they ask a question

                              ask yourself a question

                              and answer that truthfully

                              I completely made this up, but that's what I would try
                              Comment
                              • bradthebloke
                                SBR MVP
                                • 07-26-09
                                • 3175

                                #16
                                [QUOTE=Spedizzo;23160939]every time they ask a question

                                ask yourself a question

                                and answer that truthfully

                                This

                                so if youve truthfully sucked rooster, ask yourself a question you can answer no to
                                Comment
                                • Ghenghis Kahn
                                  SBR Posting Legend
                                  • 01-02-12
                                  • 19734

                                  #17
                                  you clowns, polygraph measures blood pressure. unless you're a psychopath or a sociopath, you're blood pressure will rise when you lie.

                                  hence you need some type of anxiolytics or beta blockers to suppress your blood pressure.
                                  Comment
                                  • The Kraken
                                    BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                    • 12-25-11
                                    • 28918

                                    #18
                                    Take a couple of beta blockers, like metoprolol before the test. It will blunt your blood pressure and heart rate so both remain low. The breathing is up to you. Get some Kava-Kava, Passion Flower and Valerian and take it before the test. This will calm your nerves, make you tired, like you just don't give a fawk, so it will normalize your breathing.

                                    That's about all I can think of.
                                    Comment
                                    • grey area
                                      SBR MVP
                                      • 05-17-14
                                      • 1187

                                      #19
                                      BBear is right
                                      Comment
                                      • grey area
                                        SBR MVP
                                        • 05-17-14
                                        • 1187

                                        #20
                                        When you try to tell yourself something in the nature of what you should do planning , say trying to turn a new leaf so to speak the power above all will put the shame back into your head often
                                        Comment
                                        • MoneyLineDawg
                                          SBR Posting Legend
                                          • 01-01-09
                                          • 13253

                                          #21
                                          Take painkillers or xanax
                                          Comment
                                          • NrmlCurvSurfr
                                            SBR MVP
                                            • 04-05-10
                                            • 2896

                                            #22
                                            "Never underestimate the power of denial"...
                                            Comment
                                            • Monitor-Tan
                                              SBR MVP
                                              • 02-20-11
                                              • 4460

                                              #23
                                              They have over the counter pills that calms u down, take one of those, take a pin and put it in your shoes and tape it good so you are able to press ur big toe against the pin whenevcer u want, might need bigger shoes. thumbtack would work. during the baseline test before u answer ram ur big to against the pin and answer, and everytime u answer hit ur toe against the pin before answering, and ur answer will be the same as the baseline question on the reader.
                                              Comment
                                              • The Kraken
                                                BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                • 12-25-11
                                                • 28918

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by MoneyLineDawg
                                                Take painkillers or xanax
                                                THis with beta blockers would be the ultimate way. But I chose not to mention either because they're so damn hard to get these days I figured he probably didn't have access to either. That's why I mention Kava-Kava and Passion Flower, throw in some valerian. As for herbs, that's the best I've found. For OTC shit, just benadryl and that'll just get you feeling groggy.

                                                Beta Blockers are ridiulously easy to get a prescription for because nobody abuses them. Tell your doctor you check your blood pressure and heart rate at home and it's like 170/100 with a heart rate between 90-100, they'll have you on 50mg Lopressor twice a day.

                                                Just make sure if you ever go that route to actually know what your blood pressure and heart rate is. You don't want to fukk up and take a beta blocker if your heart rate or blood pressure is actually low because it will make it lower, potentially dangerously low. Also if you have asthma or COPD, skit it, not good for either.
                                                Comment
                                                • Doc JS
                                                  SBR Hall of Famer
                                                  • 09-15-06
                                                  • 6885

                                                  #25
                                                  Vulcan mind meld....
                                                  Comment
                                                  • Rich Boy
                                                    SBR Hall of Famer
                                                    • 02-01-09
                                                    • 9714

                                                    #26
                                                    You going on Maury?
                                                    Comment
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