How to get excused from jury duty, when you have no valid excuse?

[bobbywaves]

Think I was paid $5 per day years ago. Didn't even cover my lunch, let alone compensate for my time. Pretty sure most excused people say they know a cop, & that would keep them from being partial.

[sourtwist]

Please use a comma only when necessary. Your use of a comma is incorrect in your title. Start a new thread with proper grammar or just make your way to jury duty.

Prick.

[Kermit]

I got selected last year even after I told them that I could tell if someone was guilty just by looking at them.

After 3 days, I think I got a total of $43 for gas and everything.

The only people that I seen getting automatically sent home were people that had a business that couldn't operate without them or someone that had medical issues where they couldn't sit for long periods of time.

[Kermit]

I think all that you have to do if you really want to get out is say that you know about the case or know the person(s) involved.

They tell you not to do any research on the case after you are selected, but that was the first thing that I did when I got home. The guy on trial was a grade-A piece of shit.

[pronk]

Tell them you passed the bar exam in Cuba.

[bobbywaves]

Please use a comma only when necessary. Your use of a comma is incorrect in your title. Start a new thread with proper grammar or just make your way to jury duty.

Prick.

I'll go, will probably hear your pedophile case.

[bobbywaves]

The only people that I seen getting automatically sent home were people that had a business that couldn't operate without them

So if I tell the judge about my bookie business, will that work?

[sourtwist]

I'll go, will probably hear your pedophile case.

Good one. Im actually locked up at the moment posting on sbr. You wont believe what I had to do to get the WiFi password.

[Buffalo Nickle]

Make yourself familiar with the term "Jury Nullification" and how to use it in front of a judge and you will never serve on a jury.

[bobbywaves]

Good one. Im actually locked up at the moment posting on sbr. You wont believe what I had to do to get the WiFi password.

Blow a prison guard I assume.

[rkelly110]

I told them I was going on vacation that week and they haven't bugged me since.

[gauchojake]

Just don't respond to the summons. It's not like they send that shit certified mail.

[Snowball]

i got picked for it once, just threw the mail away
but that was about 20 years ago
if mail is not certified you can always play stupid

[Auto Donk]

tell them you sucked the defendant's cok at your gloryhole just last week, you'll get excused if it's a criminal matter.

if it's a civil matter, tell them you took it in the back door from the plaintiff at your gloryhole just last week.... they'll excuse you......

[Auto Donk]

So if I tell the judge about my bookie business, will that work?

tell them about how you scammed people out of thousands of bucks with your so called "businesses".... you'll get out of jury duty when they arrest your scamming ass. You'll then get a jury of your own.......

[bobbywaves]

Just don't respond to the summons. It's not like they send that shit certified mail.

i got picked for it once, just threw the mail away
but that was about 20 years ago
if mail is not certified you can always play stupid

Quoting from mail received: "If you fail to respond to qualification questionnaire or fail to report for service, a warrant may be issued for your arrest and you may be charged with contempt of court."

I responded to questionnaire per requirement, looking to get excused somehow when I show up tomorrow.

[bobbywaves]

tell them you sucked the defendant's cok at your gloryhole just last week, you'll get excused if it's a criminal matter.

if it's a civil matter, tell them you took it in the back door from the plaintiff at your gloryhole just last week.... they'll excuse you......

Obviously Donkey talking from his experiences with glory holes & court.

[big joe 1212]

Telling them you are a racist will work. Assuming that you are white and they are black or vice versa.

[warbux]

You can delay it up to a year. I've known a lot of people who just throw it out. I tend to go to mine cause I have nothing better to do.

[DrunkHorseplayer]

Seriously: When being questioned about your beliefs, be perfectly honest and very matter-of-fact. If you're opinionated in any way, you'll be excused.

[MoMoneyMoVaughn]

Just be honest and they will tell you to fuk off for one of the other people trying to be impartial.

[cashin81]

go to the doctor and tell them your anus hurts.
this will mean you cant sit down for long periods.
it might be beneficial if you think of a way for actually hurting your anus, just in case the doc wants to check.
Letsgorangers is on standby if you choose to follow this path.

[dbartinbwgc]

I got called for jury duty once on a high profile case, i was jury #1 during selection.
They asked if I know of or heard of either party, i said no because I have been gone
for work. the second question was how do i feel about domestic abuse,
I in no way believe in it but
My answer was something like well what did she do to deserve it.
no more questions
I was excused

[chipper]

Tell 'em you're a Buddhist and it's against your religion to pass judgement on another.

[chaka]

Been excused twice.. I actually wanted to serve though
Once I was dismissed after giving my major as criminal justice presumably by the defense
the second time the prosecutor asked if we could convict off just one witness testimony and if she read the witness' statement.

I started laughing and she asked if I had a problem with her proposal. I said "yes, I want to see your witness testify so I can read their body language and hear the tone of their voice while they testify.
Immediately she says "You're excused".

[Big Bear]

Just tell them you have explosive diarrhea.

[JMobile]

Tell them you work the graveyard shift

[Auto Donk]

go to the doctor and tell them your anus hurts.
this will mean you cant sit down for long periods.
it might be beneficial if you think of a way for actually hurting your anus, just in case the doc wants to check.
Letsgorangers is on standby if you choose to follow this path.

trust me, this scamming mother fuccka waves has no problem finding ways to "actually hurt his anus." in fact, he wears assless chaps to his favorite gay bar in jersey daily with the express purpose of obtaining a "hurt anus"...........

the excuse won't work for him, however, because the judge will decide he loves his hurt anus, and therefore no removal from the panel of prospective jurors....