I hadn't heard this joke before and it made me laugh out loud...

[Let's Go Rangers]

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
The little boy answered no.
Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
The little boy answered no, again.
Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar."


A little later, the little boy came out of the house with a cookie.
Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?"
The boy asked "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can touch my ass!"

The boy replied, "Then go penetrate yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."

[TheCentaur]

Fed alert

[Bostongambler]

Hahaha... Funny

[tony_come]

I don't get it

[Kermit]

[Boner_18]

Should be edited to have gramps asking if the kids dick can go in and out of his ass. Just touching doesn't make much sense...

This is better:

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
Grandpa replied, "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
The little boy answered no.
Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
The little boy answered no, again.
Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar."


A little later, the little boy came out of the house with a cookie.
Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?"
The boy asked "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can go in and out of my ass repeatedly!"

The boy replied, "Then go penetrate yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."


Now that's funny!

[smoke a bowl]

Should be edited to have gramps asking if the kids dick can go in and out of his ass. Just touching doesn't make much sense...

This is better:

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
Grandpa replied, "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
The little boy answered no.
Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
The little boy answered no, again.
Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar."


A little later, the little boy came out of the house with a cookie.
Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?"
The boy asked "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can go in and out of my ass repeatedly!"

The boy replied, "Then go penetrate yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."


Now that's funny!

Original is better sorry.

[Bostongambler]

I enjoy original , as well as extra crunchy.

[Kermit]

Should be edited to have gramps asking if the kids dick can go in and out of his ass. Just touching doesn't make much sense...




Now that's funny!

No, the whole build up of the joke was whether his dikk could touch his ass meaning if it was long enough to be a man sized dikk. Then the ending was about it going in to fukk himself since he said it could touch. Going in and out in the first 2 parts kills the ending.

[tony_come]

Should be edited to have gramps asking if the kids dick can go in and out of his ass. Just touching doesn't make much sense...

This is better:

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
Grandpa replied, "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
The little boy answered no.
Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
The little boy answered no, again.
Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar."


A little later, the little boy came out of the house with a cookie.
Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?"
The boy asked "Can your dick go in and out of your ass repeatedly?"
Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can go in and out of my ass repeatedly!"

The boy replied, "Then go penetrate yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."


Now that's funny!

Not funny sir

[smoke a bowl]

No, the whole build up of the joke was whether his dikk could touch his ass meaning if it was long enough to be a man sized dikk. Then the ending was about it going in to fukk himself since he said it could touch. Going in and out in the first 2 parts kills the ending.

Agree.

[Let's Go Rangers]

No, the whole build up of the joke was whether his dikk could touch his ass meaning if it was long enough to be a man sized dikk. Then the ending was about it going in to fukk himself since he said it could touch. Going in and out in the first 2 parts kills the ending.

[brodie]

Boner was kidding guys...

[Bostongambler]

The Jerk store called and they are running out of you. Jerk store, Jerk store. I'm sticking with it.

[Let's Go Rangers]

Boner was kidding guys...

I would hope so

[Da Manster!]

not too bad...here's another goodie:

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar.
...
"What did I tell you?" said the barber..."That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says, "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"..The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

[RLunker]

LOLOL Very good, had me dyin

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Even if your dick could touch your ass, could you really penetrate yourself with it? It doesn't sound like much of an erection if it can bend all the way down and around to your butthole. And there ain't no way you're getting your limp dick into you anus, right??

[statnerds]

too long, the jokes that is. short and sweet.

Man and woman sharing an elevator.
Man: Um, excuse miss, but can I smell your pvssy?
Woman: You must certainly cannot.
Man: Oh, that must be your feet then.

Couple goes to marriage counselor.
Marriage counselor says lets start with something you have in common.
Guy says well neither one of us sucks dikk.

[jonorussell]

Politically correctness is out of control these days, you can't even say black paint...
You have to say "Tyrone can you please paint my house

[Da Manster!]

Three Hillbillies Billy Bob, Joe Bob and James Earl are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. .'

2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: 'Why is that stupid ?'

1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'

2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of Them new fangled warshin' machines!'

1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'Why is that so stupid?'

2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'

3rd Hillbilly James Earl says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer
Wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer
Some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'

1st and 2nd Hillbillies Billy Bob and Joe Bob both say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?'

3rd Hillbilly James Earl says: She ain't got no pecker.