Okay, well that's not entirely true. Of course he eats food. What's driving me nuts is what he wont eat, or more specifically what he has never even tried.
Case in point - A couple years ago we move into an apartment. Not long after that I am cooking some spaghetti. The spaghetti is boiling and I got some Ragu in a pan staying warm. My roommate comes out of his room:
"What are you cooking; it smells fukkin awful." (Boston accent).
I reply, "It's spaghetti."
"It's fukking nasty; smells awful."
"You dont like spaghetti??"
"No, I can't stand Italian food. It just smells so fukking gross."
"You don't like any Italian food?"
Then we get into thid conversation about all the Italian food he can't stand, which by the way basically includes everything except pizza and he only eats cheese pizza. As it turns out, he has never even tried spaghetti. Spaghetti!!! Never even tried it. Lasagna...NOPE! Never tried that either. Shells....nope! Manicotti...nope! Alfredo....nope!
My mind is blown. To me, the house smells awesome: like little Italy. To him is smells like death.
Several days later, I decided to whip up a batch of chicken salad. It's basically chicken, onion, hard boiled egg, celery, cranberries and mayo. Not a big deal.
He comes home. "What the fukk were you cooking? It's fukkin nasty."
"It's chicken salad."
"Fukkin nasty."
"You ever tried chicken salad?"
"Nope."
The guy is 36 years old. Never tried pasta or chicken salad. Never tried egg salad either.
So then I start grilling him on basic types of food to see if he has ever tried them. Deviled eggs...1 time. Potato salad....maybe 1 time. Then I get to the bottom of it.
He hates condiments. Ketchup, mayo, mustard, ranch, blue cheese or anything similar. Wont touch any of it. So now, this eliminates a whole spectrum of food. He likes BBQ and Teriyaki however.
Not long ago, we head over to Steak N Shake to get a burger and fries. On the way there, I tell him that the best way to get the fries is with the chili and cheese.
"I've never tried it."
"But you've had chili fries before right?"
"Nope. Never tried it."
So I did a little deeper....
"Have you ever tried chili?"
"Nope."
Mother fukker is 36 years old and has never ever fukkin tried chili!!!! Are you kidding me???
One of my co-workers gave me some Salmon to take home. She says, "You and your roommate can cook it up." I'm thinking that's a good idea.
I come home. Instead of offering it to him, I decided to ask if he even likes it.
"Hey, do you like Salmon?"
"I don't know. I've never really tried it."
As it turns out, he wont eat vegetables either. Has not had greens in years. Here is what he eats.
Beef (Steak, hamburger, ribs, etc)
Pork (Ribs, chops, etc...)
Chicken
Crab
Lobster
Cereal
Ice cream
Potato chips and various snacks
He has been my roommate for nearly 4 years and I have never seen him eat anything else.
Case in point - A couple years ago we move into an apartment. Not long after that I am cooking some spaghetti. The spaghetti is boiling and I got some Ragu in a pan staying warm. My roommate comes out of his room:
"What are you cooking; it smells fukkin awful." (Boston accent).
I reply, "It's spaghetti."
"It's fukking nasty; smells awful."
"You dont like spaghetti??"
"No, I can't stand Italian food. It just smells so fukking gross."
"You don't like any Italian food?"
Then we get into thid conversation about all the Italian food he can't stand, which by the way basically includes everything except pizza and he only eats cheese pizza. As it turns out, he has never even tried spaghetti. Spaghetti!!! Never even tried it. Lasagna...NOPE! Never tried that either. Shells....nope! Manicotti...nope! Alfredo....nope!
My mind is blown. To me, the house smells awesome: like little Italy. To him is smells like death.
Several days later, I decided to whip up a batch of chicken salad. It's basically chicken, onion, hard boiled egg, celery, cranberries and mayo. Not a big deal.
He comes home. "What the fukk were you cooking? It's fukkin nasty."
"It's chicken salad."
"Fukkin nasty."
"You ever tried chicken salad?"
"Nope."
The guy is 36 years old. Never tried pasta or chicken salad. Never tried egg salad either.
So then I start grilling him on basic types of food to see if he has ever tried them. Deviled eggs...1 time. Potato salad....maybe 1 time. Then I get to the bottom of it.
He hates condiments. Ketchup, mayo, mustard, ranch, blue cheese or anything similar. Wont touch any of it. So now, this eliminates a whole spectrum of food. He likes BBQ and Teriyaki however.
Not long ago, we head over to Steak N Shake to get a burger and fries. On the way there, I tell him that the best way to get the fries is with the chili and cheese.
"I've never tried it."
"But you've had chili fries before right?"
"Nope. Never tried it."
So I did a little deeper....
"Have you ever tried chili?"
"Nope."
Mother fukker is 36 years old and has never ever fukkin tried chili!!!! Are you kidding me???
One of my co-workers gave me some Salmon to take home. She says, "You and your roommate can cook it up." I'm thinking that's a good idea.
I come home. Instead of offering it to him, I decided to ask if he even likes it.
"Hey, do you like Salmon?"
"I don't know. I've never really tried it."
As it turns out, he wont eat vegetables either. Has not had greens in years. Here is what he eats.
Beef (Steak, hamburger, ribs, etc)
Pork (Ribs, chops, etc...)
Chicken
Crab
Lobster
Cereal
Ice cream
Potato chips and various snacks
He has been my roommate for nearly 4 years and I have never seen him eat anything else.
