"Your honor, for my next witness, I'd like to call Shakira's hips to the stand.'
"Do you swear to tell the truth, thewhole…oh right."
Comment
stevenash
Moderator
01-17-11
65228
#152610
Originally posted by Bostongambler
Good call sailor
Popeye?
Comment
stevenash
Moderator
01-17-11
65228
#152611
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore, he is worried. Next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks, and even the cows. Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead. The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!" And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says: “Shhhh! They are about to land!"
Comment
DiggityDaggityDo
SBR Aristocracy
11-30-08
81454
#152612
Originally posted by stevenash
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore, he is worried. Next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks, and even the cows. Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead. The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!" And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says: “Shhhh! They are about to land!"
That’s one of my favorite jokes Nasher.
I always tell that one at parties and then everybody wants to bang me after.
Comment
DiggityDaggityDo
SBR Aristocracy
11-30-08
81454
#152613
Originally posted by stevenash
Popeye?
Comment
KVB
SBR Aristocracy
05-29-14
74817
#152614
Oh wow is that pre spinach Popeye?
If so, can you imagine that tool after a can of spinach?
Comment
Bostongambler
BARRELED IN @ SBR!
02-01-08
35581
#152615
You know how Popeye never gets a rusted dick? He sticks it in olive oil.
Comment
Bostongambler
BARRELED IN @ SBR!
02-01-08
35581
#152616
I’ve never been called breathtaking either.
Comment
DiggityDaggityDo
SBR Aristocracy
11-30-08
81454
#152617
Originally posted by KVB
Oh wow is that pre spinach Popeye?
If so, can you imagine that tool after a can of spinach?
Comment
stevenash
Moderator
01-17-11
65228
#152618
Comment
wolfmanmeadows
SBR Wise Guy
12-29-20
915
#152619
NFL
20221002/JAC/PHI Over 44
fukkers took down the hidden api I was using, have to throw away 30 hours of modelling work
Comment
stevenash
Moderator
01-17-11
65228
#152620
^
Good luck Wolfie.
Steelers OVER 41.5
Comment
DiggityDaggityDo
SBR Aristocracy
11-30-08
81454
#152621
Donald Trump finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie comes out.
Genie: "I grant you three wishes."
Trump: "I'm tired of getting sued for everything I do. I want there to be no more courts."
Genie: "Granted. You have no wishes left."
Trump: "What the hell? You told me I had three wishes, and I only used one!"
Genie: "Sue me."
Comment
stevenash
Moderator
01-17-11
65228
#152622
I hate Andy Dalton
Comment
DiggityDaggityDo
SBR Aristocracy
11-30-08
81454
#152623
Comment
stevenash
Moderator
01-17-11
65228
#152624
Erin Andrews is so skanky she's ickier than Fergie.
That's what I call skanky.
Hi Daggles.
What's Marvel up to?
Comment
Bostongambler
BARRELED IN @ SBR!
02-01-08
35581
#152625
Is that an attack dog?
Comment
DiggityDaggityDo
SBR Aristocracy
11-30-08
81454
#152626
Marvel’s current situation:
Laying down sleeping next to the back door like a lazy motherfukker.
She likes it there because it’s tiled and cooler. Plus she can pop hear up up and look outside to see if there are any squirrels to chase.
Marvel is an expert squirrel chaser now. Marvel is also an amateur squirrel catcher. She never even comes close to snaggin’ one.
Comment
stevenash
Moderator
01-17-11
65228
#152627
Originally posted by Bostongambler
Is that an attack dog?
Comment
hubie69
SBR Hall of Famer
09-16-10
7329
#152628
Originally posted by DiggityDaggityDo
Comment
MaltedHopsFrenzy
SBR Hall of Famer
10-08-10
8944
#152629
Last night was caramelized onion, fennel, & mushroom soup - with some salmon croquettes and my homemade seafood cocktail sauce to dip them in. Good luck today ‘Fly Me’ crew!
Last night was caramelized onion, fennel, & mushroom soup - with some salmon croquettes and my homemade seafood cocktail sauce to dip them in. Good luck today ‘Fly Me’ crew!