Fly Me #3 "The Resurrection" Sports Talk,Good Tunes,Great Times, Anything Goes

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Happy Tuesday!!!

[Auto Donk]

watcha gonna do wit all dat ass, all dat ass.......

ironic thing is fergie got no ass

on a serious note, it must be tough to deal with stuffin all that shit down in some tight jeans FROM THE BACK.... they can't even see what all the fck is going on back there with all that excess "ass meat".....

whereas we guys have it easy, and can see where we're stuffin all our excess "meat", and that makes it easy to arrange said member down whichever thigh/pant leg we want to put on display that given night....

i usually go with the right thigh on "date night," (used to always do so when single, particularly on first dates) -- just to watch how long it would take them to glance down and notice while driving to our destination, and just to see how big their eyes would get....


For the bigger the eyes, the better the sex generally was later.... The most obvious "meat gazers" were usually best in bed, as they tended to be size queens in general with some experience and thus could handle some excess saw-seige! Ie, "they weren't no virgins, but they never claimed to be" -- this was a phrase an old high school bud used to use.....

and, "right thigh positioning" also serves the purpose of being inadvertently (and often not so inadvertently) brushed up against by said date when she goes to put her hand on my thigh...... which often led to full out hand and/or blow jobs while driving, which I can attest is more dangerous than drunk driving....

stay thirsty, my friends!

[Auto Donk]

ps.... and Digger, and the rest of the SBR Forum, I hope: 1. that I didn't offend anyone with the foregoing diatribe, with all its sexual nature, and 2. that I don't seem like some sort of f'n pervert.....

but for chrissakes, digger, you post ten-twenty pieces of hot, juicy, tan, bouncing bubbly asses on the thread, gyrating and shimmying and damn near doing the Shamoney Dance just to get those f'n tight ass hot jeans on, and I see it, it's gonna go down a sexual f'n avenue......

I'll be thinkin' bout every big round ass I tapped for the next seven-12 hours, while some dickweed across town is waiting on a draft of his f'n divorce decree that will now be a day late unless one of the big bubbly butted whores on Pornhub that I'll wind up watching just happens to have a draft of it that SHE'S working on while three well-hung aremenians or the Dog Fart Crew proceed to give her triple anal pleasures..... Just f'n great..........

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Donker you crack me up.

Your story reminded me of this.

[DiggityDaggityDo]

[KVB]

lol...KVB finally got a badge. Played my first round in the SBR poker room. I've been waiting for my 200 points from the Angelman tourney to hit so I can donate, only to find out it was 200 POKER points.

[Auto Donk]

Donker you crack me up.

Your story reminded me of this.

I've got an even better one....

when my first wife and I moved back to austin from newport beach, she joined up in the Junior League of Austin, which is a hi-falootin' organization that runs a thrift shop and is supposed to help charities and perform charitable work (and it does, don't get me wrong), but it seems to be more of a way to allow sorority girls a chance to continue being in a sorority after they graduate from college....

Nevetheles, when u join a junior league, much like a sorority, u have a group of newcomers that are considered provisionals, much like a sorority... well, my wife became close friends with about ten of her provisional sisters, and there came a time when all of the husbands of said women were going to meet each other, and all the women of the little group would finally get to see the lesser halves who they'd all been complaining about/braggin about/whatever about while performing their charitable work, which meant gossiping for 4-5 hours while running a thrift shop.

That time came in the form of a Halloween party at my and the wife's house; it was a costume party... We went as the Brady's, .... that's right.... Mike and Sarah of the Brady Bunch.... THIS WAS AROUND 1993 OR 94, and I had no idea the real mike brady played the meat flute and swallowed the music, or I'd have never agreed to go as that homo.... but I digress....

to the point: as part of my costume, I wore damn near skin tight polyester pants.... I shifted my junk not to be obvious around these guys I was meeting for the first time, but as two groups formed, one all the guys, one of all the girls, a little light bulb went off over my head. I could hear my wife telling a story in her typical overblown and loud-mouthed way, so I excused myself from the men, saying I was gonna get a drink, did a quick yank and pull down my trusty right pant leg, and proceeded to where my wife was telling her story......

All of the prim and proper junior leaugers, some of whom where now among the richest people in austin as a couple of them had married Dellionaires,as they called them (early dell employees who became worth a couple hundred million because of stock options, etc.), were now sitting on a variety of chairs, ottomans, couches around her, as she stood before them......

As these were f'n elitists, I didn't want to interrupt my wife while she told her story so I just stood there at her side, hands on my hips in a "proud display type fashion", and with my prior adjustment proudly on display..... I really didn't make eye contact with any of them, I was ignoring them and looking down / over at my wife, knowing full fukkin' well, with me not paying attention, even these fukkin' junior leaugers would go to "meat gazing."

so, after I'm there for about fifteen to twenty seconds.... my wife starts to stammer a bit with her story, as --- although I'm lookin on at her -- one by one her sisters got distracted, and were no longer paying attention to her story..... She finally stops and says "whattttttt? what are ya'll all looking at"???????? (she can obviously see that they are all lookin' in the direction of my, as Will Farrell calls it, "crotchal region"). And my now exwife, seeing all this attention being afforded to my junk, immediately looks at my crotch, sees my 3/4 aroused (yet painfully pointing downward toward my knee), and goes "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT ?????"

AND I'M like, "YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, BABY, YOU GET IT EVERY NIGHT." THE young junior leaugers are generally still gawking and generally starting to nervously laugh a bit, but then my wife grabs at it, as I'm dodging/ducking and yelling "HEY, NOT NOW.... WE Can wait" and shit like that. Finally, after a few seconds of trying to grab my tool, she gets a handful of it and squeezes....

A LOUD SQUEAKING NOISE EMITS FROM MY 12" INCHES...... NOW I'm laffing and so are the junior league women, and my wife continues to yell "what is that?????"

I turn away from the women, and pull the 12" plastic CARROT-SHAPED puppy chew toy from pants.... made of relatively hard rubberlike plastic, when you squeeze it, it squeaks. but the damn thing was like an 11" carrot, and the designer but a round ball shaped like the head of rooster at the top, and made it the green portion of the carrot plant (quite intentional, I'm sure, cause the f'n thing was the shape and dimensions of John Holme's kahk.....)....

but it was a sheer classic moment; that instant while I was ignoring the women and focusing on my wife, they all started gawking at what I guess I wish was my crank....

great group of people.... funny, when I curbed my wife, all these friends, even the females, stayed on my side of the ledger, and none with her..... Of course my ex claimed I used my skills of persuasion to "poison" their opinions of her..... I told her "Shut the penetrate up... you friends either wanna fuk me or just generally can't stand you because of your boorish, conniving, shady ways." A few of these junior leaugers had sensed my frisky nature and made passes, but by then I'd become friends with their husbands, so that shit wasn't going to happen). Hell,it turned out that the husbands wound up being better friends than the wives; still talk to some of them today despite moving to Htown 15 years ago....

There are a few more interesting stories involving neuvo laredo, dellionaires, their wives, and donkey shows -- all unfolding on a junior league trip to mexico so the wives could "shop", but I'll save those treats for later.

[Auto Donk]

haha.... jj called me the google king... quick search for "plastic carrot chew toy shaped like a rooster" reveals my crank is still proudly sold even today, some twenty-two years later....

tho it's been toned down some; and wasn't "clipon" back then; the green leafy shit was simply a veiny bulbous mushroom head

[Auto Donk]

upon clicking on "images" of said search, I scrolled down, after getting the watered-down present day political correctness mutha fukkin' chew toys, to the old school versions that -- although still not as bulbous as the one we actually had back in 94, are pretty close.... (the green part on ours was larger and rounder)....

clearly, the funny bastards with my sense of humor that designed the damn thing must have started taking some heat for the dong-shaped puppy chew toys, and scaled back the head....

without further ado, my kahk:

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Donker, you have a nice kahk.

[Fidel_CashFlow]

[Fidel_CashFlow]

Happy Tuesday!!!

[JMon]

lol...KVB finally got a badge. Played my first round in the SBR poker room. I've been waiting for my 200 points from the Angelman tourney to hit so I can donate, only to find out it was 200 POKER points.

nicely done, KVB...... Yet smoken put the Regis curse on you now since he finally hit one after 4 years.

[JMon]

I've got an even better one....

when my first wife and I moved back to austin from newport beach, she joined up in the Junior League of Austin, which is a hi-falootin' organization that runs a thrift shop and is supposed to help charities and perform charitable work (and it does, don't get me wrong), but it seems to be more of a way to allow sorority girls a chance to continue being in a sorority after they graduate from college....

Nevetheles, when u join a junior league, much like a sorority, u have a group of newcomers that are considered provisionals, much like a sorority... well, my wife became close friends with about ten of her provisional sisters, and there came a time when all of the husbands of said women were going to meet each other, and all the women of the little group would finally get to see the lesser halves who they'd all been complaining about/braggin about/whatever about while performing their charitable work, which meant gossiping for 4-5 hours while running a thrift shop.

That time came in the form of a Halloween party at my and the wife's house; it was a costume party... We went as the Brady's, .... that's right.... Mike and Sarah of the Brady Bunch.... THIS WAS AROUND 1993 OR 94, and I had no idea the real mike brady played the meat flute and swallowed the music, or I'd have never agreed to go as that homo.... but I digress....

to the point: as part of my costume, I wore damn near skin tight polyester pants.... I shifted my junk not to be obvious around these guys I was meeting for the first time, but as two groups formed, one all the guys, one of all the girls, a little light bulb went off over my head. I could hear my wife telling a story in her typical overblown and loud-mouthed way, so I excused myself from the men, saying I was gonna get a drink, did a quick yank and pull down my trusty right pant leg, and proceeded to where my wife was telling her story......

All of the prim and proper junior leaugers, some of whom where now among the richest people in austin as a couple of them had married Dellionaires,as they called them (early dell employees who became worth a couple hundred million because of stock options, etc.), were now sitting on a variety of chairs, ottomans, couches around her, as she stood before them......

As these were f'n elitists, I didn't want to interrupt my wife while she told her story so I just stood there at her side, hands on my hips in a "proud display type fashion", and with my prior adjustment proudly on display..... I really didn't make eye contact with any of them, I was ignoring them and looking down / over at my wife, knowing full fukkin' well, with me not paying attention, even these fukkin' junior leaugers would go to "meat gazing."

so, after I'm there for about fifteen to twenty seconds.... my wife starts to stammer a bit with her story, as --- although I'm lookin on at her -- one by one her sisters got distracted, and were no longer paying attention to her story..... She finally stops and says "whattttttt? what are ya'll all looking at"???????? (she can obviously see that they are all lookin' in the direction of my, as Will Farrell calls it, "crotchal region"). And my now exwife, seeing all this attention being afforded to my junk, immediately looks at my crotch, sees my 3/4 aroused (yet painfully pointing downward toward my knee), and goes "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT ?????"

AND I'M like, "YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, BABY, YOU GET IT EVERY NIGHT." THE young junior leaugers are generally still gawking and generally starting to nervously laugh a bit, but then my wife grabs at it, as I'm dodging/ducking and yelling "HEY, NOT NOW.... WE Can wait" and shit like that. Finally, after a few seconds of trying to grab my tool, she gets a handful of it and squeezes....

A LOUD SQUEAKING NOISE EMITS FROM MY 12" INCHES...... NOW I'm laffing and so are the junior league women, and my wife continues to yell "what is that?????"

I turn away from the women, and pull the 12" plastic CARROT-SHAPED puppy chew toy from pants.... made of relatively hard rubberlike plastic, when you squeeze it, it squeaks. but the damn thing was like an 11" carrot, and the designer but a round ball shaped like the head of rooster at the top, and made it the green portion of the carrot plant (quite intentional, I'm sure, cause the f'n thing was the shape and dimensions of John Holme's kahk.....)....

but it was a sheer classic moment; that instant while I was ignoring the women and focusing on my wife, they all started gawking at what I guess I wish was my crank....

great group of people.... funny, when I curbed my wife, all these friends, even the females, stayed on my side of the ledger, and none with her..... Of course my ex claimed I used my skills of persuasion to "poison" their opinions of her..... I told her "Shut the penetrate up... you friends either wanna fuk me or just generally can't stand you because of your boorish, conniving, shady ways." A few of these junior leaugers had sensed my frisky nature and made passes, but by then I'd become friends with their husbands, so that shit wasn't going to happen). Hell,it turned out that the husbands wound up being better friends than the wives; still talk to some of them today despite moving to Htown 15 years ago....

There are a few more interesting stories involving neuvo laredo, dellionaires, their wives, and donkey shows -- all unfolding on a junior league trip to mexico so the wives could "shop", but I'll save those treats for later.

jeezus can someone cliff note this for me.

[PerfectGrape]

what's a matter graper don't like to go down on your lady's ass...

as long as she takes a big dump first and doesn't wipe very well

[smokenjoke]

nicely done, KVB...... Yet smoken put the Regis curse on you now since he finally hit one after 4 years.

That was a good one Mon. Gimme five

[JMon]

That was a good one Mon. Gimme five

lol...how is the hunting treating you...all good?

[smokenjoke]

lol...how is the hunting treating you...all good?

Overwhelmed. Plus I've been sick last few days. Just getting over it. I'm about 70%. How you been?

[JMon]

as long as she takes a big dump first and doesn't wipe very well

indeed bro....

[JMon]

Overwhelmed. Plus I've been sick last few days. Just getting over it. I'm about 70%. How you been?

It is overwhelming, but nice when settled. ...overwhelmed is every day in my line. Fighting the gov't every breathe I take. Going to take a large hit on taxes this year. It's covered, but lady is freakin out. lol. Pay the man and die, right?

[smokenjoke]

It is overwhelming, but nice when settled. ...overwhelmed is every day in my line. Fighting the gov't every breathe I take. Going to take a large hit on taxes this year. It's covered, but lady is freakin out. lol. Pay the man and die, right?

I can't even imagine the red tape you go through but I do know your smart enough to make it through. Ogirl gonna start taxing you as well. Lol. #thestruggleisreal

[JMon]

I can't even imagine the red tape you go through but I do know your smart enough to make it through. Ogirl gonna start taxing you as well. Lol. #thestruggleisreal

Me luv me some ogirl

[Fidel_CashFlow]

been a month since Ive smoked or eaten any edibles
that changes tomorrow

[Fidel_CashFlow]

nicely done, KVB...... Yet smoken put the Regis curse on you now since he finally hit one after 4 years.

last trivia on Monday morning on the 3rd question I selected the right answer
second guessed myself and clicked on the Bucs and paid the price
My first selection Lions was the correct one.
That old saying applied here......

[Fidel_CashFlow]

lmao Jmon, not only did SmokenJoke finally win trivia, he also beat your Boy Von Miller at NBA2k

[smokenjoke]

been a month since Ive smoked or eaten any edibles
that changes tomorrow

Enjoy

[smokenjoke]

lmao Jmon, not only did SmokenJoke finally win trivia, he also beat your Boy Von Miller at NBA2k

6'0" My neck

[smokenjoke]

been a month since Ive smoked or eaten any edibles
that changes tomorrow

Though I do wanna know why amongst other Q'z. I'm just a nosey neck.

[Fidel_CashFlow]

Though I do wanna know why amongst other Q'z. I'm just a nosey neck.

long story ... I fukked up , been selling the dro I get and making some good loot
see I help my cuzzo with $$$$$, he gets a lot at a discounted price, throws me a decent amount of the product
out of each batch for free. I usually just smoke it up or throw it in edibles, I did leave back
and didnt sell about 10 grams of this incredible Blackberry Kush we came across a couple weeks back ... for this very moment

[smokenjoke]

long story ... I fukked up , been selling the dro I get and making some good loot
see I help my cuzzo with $$$$$, he gets a lot at a discounted price, throws me a decent amount of the product
out of each batch for free. I usually just smoke it up or throw it in edibles, I did leave back
and didnt sell about 10 grams of this incredible Blackberry Kush we came across a couple weeks back ... for this very moment

You told me the logistics of cuzzo and the greenery but I'm SOS on why you stopped smoking unless you violated #4? To repay? Especially on consignment and if so… Damn you smoke a lot?
If such¿ I WANT SOME BROWNIES TOO!!! #4free

[KVB]

nicely done, KVB...... Yet smoken put the Regis curse on you now since he finally hit one after 4 years.

My trivia performance has been terrible, at least yesterday I got to 60 then blew it.

[smokenjoke]

6'
#4

[smokenjoke]

[KVB]

[KVB]

been a month since Ive smoked or eaten any edibles
that changes tomorrow