Post your all time greatest Seinfeld quotes here

[stevenash]

"Have you ever had a tax audit? I'ts brutal. It's the financial equivalent of a full rectal exam."

[CountNo_Account]

Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.

[CountNo_Account]

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

[Kermit]

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to"

[easyliving]

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

beat me to it.

serenity now...insanity later.

[The Kraken]

"Kramer, bend over. Elaine just took a shit."

[Bostongambler]

That's like asking pavirati to teach me to sing like you.

Spelling of name is prob wrong. Too lazy too google it

[stevenash]

"I love word association games, they're great, no wrong answers"

[Bostongambler]

" I had sex with ur wife"

[pronk]

Mother's day- the mother of all mail days.

No soup for you!

[CountNo_Account]

You're killing independent George.

[robzilla]

Mulva?

[spankie]

I invented "it's not you, it's me"! Nobody tells me it's them not me; if it's anybody, it's me!

[pronk]

I drive them to lesbianism, he brings 'em back.
George about Kramer

[stevenash]

Elaine to Jerry on masturbation

"fake, fake, fake fake"

[Bostongambler]

"Your a cashier"

[Bostongambler]

"I'm out there and I'm loving every minute of it"

[pronk]

HELLO NEWMAN!!!

I’m a great quitter: it’s one of the few things I do well… I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter… I was raised to give up"

George Costanza

[pronk]

I can't die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn't die with dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?
George

[stevenash]

HELLO NEWMAN!!!

I’m a great quitter: it’s one of the few things I do well… I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter… I was raised to give up"

George Costanza

classic

[pronk]

Stop crying, and fight your father!

Frank Costanza

[robmpink]

Here I go, deep type flow
Jacque Cousteau could never get this low..
I'm cherry bombing shits... BOOM
Just warming up a little bit, vroom vroom
Rappinin is what's happening
Keep the pockets stacked and then, hands clapping and
At the party when I move my body
Gotta get up, and be somebody!
Grab the microphone go straight to the phone
DUH-DUH-DUH...enter the **-Tang zone
Sure enough when I rock that stuff
Guff puff? I'm gonna catch your bluff tough
rough, kicking rhymes like Jim Kelly
or Alex Haley I'm a Mi-..Beetle Bailey rhymes
coming raw style, hardcore
Niggas be coming to the hip-hop store
Coming to buy grocery from me
Trying to be a hip-hop **
The law, in order to enter the **-Tang
You must bring the Ol' Dirty Bastard type slang
Represent the GZA, Abbott, RZA, Shaquan, Inspectah Deck
Dirty Hoe getting low with his flow
Introducing, the Ghost..face.. Killer!!
No one could get iller

[tto827]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L3KU5eiEBo

Can't embed per video owner request.

"His mother was a mudder... His father was a mudder"

This thread will be 50 pages long before we cover them all.

[tto827]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ghCTZF61ey0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[pronk]

Jerry, it's your uncle Leo! Hello!
Hello Leo, you don't have to yell.


I am not going to treat my uncle like a bomb defusing robot.

[robzilla]

Cartright!

[Chi_archie]

"I'm out"

[InTheDrink]

Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you

[Seaweed]

kramer posing as a doctor for Mr.Pitt "fiber on left shoulder....I'm gonna have to make a note of that"

[tto827]

You gave me Gonorrhea and you didn't even tell me!

[Bostongambler]

" Then me Reggie and spike went to a strip joint"

[Bostongambler]

I didn't know Cheryl millers little brother played basketball

[Boner_18]

“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.”

[pronk]

Oh, the humanity!!!
Newman

[pronk]

Hoochy mama!
Frank Costanza