Lazy Bastard will award SBR points for Online Poker info.

poker_dummy101 · 06-02-10, 12:56 AM

Originally posted by HauntingTheHoly

Provide whatever info you feel like, you may know something I don't that will be very helpful. Just make sure to at least address the things below. The best response I see in a day or two will be given some points, may award a point or two here and there for decent tidbit-type posts as well.

I'm in the USA and looking to deposit on FullTilt (27% rakeback) or Absolute (30% rakeback) or another site someone could recommend that has a good rakeback option and is safe.

Here is the crucial information to be considered: 1) What kinds of documents must I upload and send to receive a payout? (On PlayersOnly they wanted Utility Bill and drivers license but have changed it to just the drivers license. This is fortunate for me b/c my name does not appear on my utility bill). 2) Do the sites award VIP-type points that can be turned to cash (UB did, does absolute?) 3) Are there payout issues of any kind? Are checks mailed fast and easy? (I will not be using ewallets)

I'm a pretty modest player, just looking to grind around 3 cash tables for long run earning. I'll be playing NL .25/.50 for a short while then settling into NL .5/1

1) What kinds of documents must I upload and send to receive a payout? (On PlayersOnly they wanted Utility Bill and drivers license but have changed it to just the drivers license.

As you said, utility bill/drivers license is standard... on Pokerstars they want SS# as well for echeck deposit/withdrawals. In some points of my playing poker or betting sports, I have also not had a utility bill in my name. If they ask for it, just say you pay a flat rate, don't have a bill in your name, at college, or any other excuse. They are pretty lenient on that. Sometimes they will want a copy of your bank statement with name and address. Make sure you don't leave any important numbers on it though...just your name, address, and a banks stamped logo.

2) Do the sites award VIP-type points that can be turned to cash (UB did, does absolute?)

Pretty much all sites offer VIP style points. Pokerstars have their VIP program in which you get rewarded with levels. The more rake you earn, the more points you get. They don't allow rakeback so their VIP is pretty generous. You are able to buy cash prizes which are comparable to rakeback. I havent been on pstars lately, but if youre playing small limits, the most profitable way to turn your points into cash is qualifier tourneys where you turn your points into T$. If you never plan to play a tourney, just go cancel the entry, and trade the T$ for cash with an online site that will do this. (Ofcourse there is variance in this, but if you are decent it will work basically like rakeback in the long run).

The other sites such as Fulltilt, AP, UB, Cake network... let you have rakeback and VIP points. The VIP pts are a very small amount when compared to earning rakeback but it is also possible earn a few extra bucks with the rakeback + VIP (some have gold coins, AP and UB points, iron man, etc). AP and UB offer reload bonuses alot, so if you choose that, I'd highly recommend getting ************* if you can even though you said you don;t want to. Its like throwing free money away if its sitting in your acct instead of using it get reload cash. Ofcourse this will hurt your rakeback money, but overall it is much better to get the bonuses + rakeback rather than just rakeback.

3) Are there payout issues of any kind? Are checks mailed fast and easy? (I will not be using ewallets)

Every once in a while a batch of checks will be bad because the US catches the account or something else happens. They usually take a week to arrive, but every once in a while it can take longer. I personally prefer echecks at most sites.. its free, quick, and no talking to clerks at the banks. With the June 1st UIGEA, I don't really know what will happen.

Other notes:
Make sure you get HEM (my personal fav) or pokertracker if you dont have it already. I think HEM you can try free for somewhere around 12-14 days and last i heard pokertracker you can try free for 2 months?

I recommend signing up somewhere like thisisthenuts.com for rakeback. Not only do they have rakeback, but you will be eligible for rake races, enough MGR for a month gets you free poker videos, and easy cash outs to poker sites when you need them. Excellent CS and 1 of the biggest sites (so you don't have to worry about them closing and you getting screwed)

If you haven't played online in a while, I highly recommend watching a few training videos. Deucescracked.com use to offer a free 7 day trial and so did some others. Not sure if this is still possible, but you can look around. Ofcourse, you can also go to a torrent site and steal them for me.

HauntingTheHoly · 06-02-10, 06:32 PM

Looks like this "June first" day is quite dreaded. I read a bit on 2 + 2 afterall, just barely overcoming lazy bastard syndrome. I wonder if I should wait a bit before depositing? I should mention I do not have a bank account, so this is a minor complication, yes? I was hoping not, though. UB sent me a check for $1,700 just this past November without me sending them *any* documents. Do you know if AP will do that as well?

Anoter question for you: "How do I *silence* a woman?" If your answer works when I try it, I will give you 75 SBR points. :-D

mtneer1212 · 06-02-10, 06:38 PM

Originally posted by HauntingTheHoly

Anoter question for you: "How do I *silence* a woman?" If your answer works when I try it, I will give you 75 SBR points. :-D

I've heard that ether on the pillowcase is very effective.

cmerunoveru · 06-02-10, 07:04 PM

Use ur headphones.

poker_dummy101 · 06-02-10, 11:04 PM

Originally posted by HauntingTheHoly

Looks like this "June first" day is quite dreaded. I read a bit on 2 + 2 afterall, just barely overcoming lazy bastard syndrome. I wonder if I should wait a bit before depositing? I should mention I do not have a bank account, so this is a minor complication, yes? I was hoping not, though. UB sent me a check for $1,700 just this past November without me sending them *any* documents. Do you know if AP will do that as well?

Anoter question for you: "How do I *silence* a woman?" If your answer works when I try it, I will give you 75 SBR points. :-D

Luckily I don't need to deposit right now and will see what other people say first.

Part 1:
If you are sure UB won't require info, why not stick with them instead of worrying about AP since they both award you the exact same amount? Or is it because you don't have the right rakeback account set up at UB? From what I remember, I never sent AP any info, however.. that account was opened back in neteller days when everything was verified through them. Since neteller I have used my debit card and withdrew through echeck without them asking for additional info. Again though, maybe since I was a loyal client way before that, they never checked.

EDIT:
Got this on AP live chat:
Ruth: Thank you for contacting us! How may I help you?
ME: i was wondering.. i have a friend wanting to sign up.. if he ever cashes out, what kind of info would he need to send to complete a cashout>
Ruth: we usually don't ask for any further information unless the security department feels like there is something that needs to be verified
ME: oh ok, he had an acct at UB and was just wondering if something was needed if deposited at AP instead. Thanks for your help have a good day

Part 2: Is this a real question or a funny question? If real, ask how her day was then before she answers start bitching about how bad your day was for 5 mins then say you just want to watch tv in peace for a bit so you can calm down. If funny, give her a lollipop?

HauntingTheHoly · 06-03-10, 06:27 AM

Un-****ing-fortunately for me, I DO need to deposit right now, unless the Celtics win Game 1 AND Yuri Foreman taxes Cotto's ass. Both underdog bets and I'm back in business at PlayersOnly if they both hit, lol. I withdrew $1,100 there, leaving around $500 in the account (my original deposit amount) but foolishly played beyond proper bankroll management, and not by much either! Just the perfect storm of BS occurred (of course) so after being taxed heavily for my stupidity I just made the two above mentioned bets sports bets and said **** it. Embarassing to have to explain that, I know much better, but whatever. I was bored. :-D

The reason I don't just re-deposit on UB is because I don't have Rakeback at all there. What did you mean by "the right rakeback account" - they are all 30% right?

HauntingTheHoly · 06-03-10, 06:28 AM

The "F" word can't be typed here? Seriously? Fuk.

HauntingTheHoly · 06-03-10, 06:31 AM

Originally posted by cmerunoveru

Use ur headphones.

Not a bad idea, but unfortunately, this woman can shout right through them, regardless of volume. You gotta see (hear) it to believe it.

poker_dummy101 · 06-03-10, 08:28 AM

Originally posted by HauntingTheHoly

The reason I don't just re-deposit on UB is because I don't have Rakeback at all there. What did you mean by "the right rakeback account" - they are all 30% right?

almost all rakeback sites offer you 30% rakeback at Cereus... however different ones offer different incentives along with it. thisisthenuts.com offers rake races + free stox coaching videos if you get a certain MGR.. last i heard baluga whale was opening his site and offering basically the same thing but instead of the coaching videos, he was offering his book...deucescracked has a rakeback site as well now that im sure has their own incentives. it just varies on what you can get and what you want.

i guess my answer didn't work for the woman.

we need more specific details. is this at night and your trying to sleep and shes in the other room? at work? ur wife/gf complaining about her day?

Kindred · 06-04-10, 03:20 AM

you can get free no deposit $100 on UB at pokersource.com

HauntingTheHoly · 06-04-10, 11:37 AM

You don't get rakeback at pokersource though. I wonder if it would be worth it to deposit $100 at AP or UB to get the $225 top-off bonus and then withdrawl? You must have 375 AP or UB "points" to withdrawl. I wonder what you'd likely earn in rakeback (assume 50NL) during that time? A bit less, I'm sure. But how much less? And obviously long term you'd earn more with rakeback.

thechaoz · 06-23-10, 03:03 AM

Or that UB/AP was part of the biggest online gambling conspiracy in the history of the world. Even 60 minutes did a piece on it and it just touched the surface. Don't play on UB/AP....Cereusously

hunterwrot · 06-23-10, 11:33 PM

screw ub and ap. play pokerstars. rakeback doesnt help when the site sucks. pokerstars is the shit