The World According to BiteMeSfCm:

[Auto Donk]

ever wonder what it's like to be the best player on a two-bit poker site?

ever wish you knew, like BiteMeSfCm does, the cards in other players' hands?

ever wonder what it's like to not have a conscience or any concept of fair play?

ever wonder what it must feel like to jam people for $5 - $10 a hand in penny poker, and amass ring game badges showing your earned more than $15 bucks a night superusing???

WELL, WONDER NO MORE:

Through some well-placed connections, I hacked into BiteMeSfCm's system, and got a view of exactly what he views when playing SBullshitR Poker..........(the names, including biteme's, have been changed to protect the innocent):

not lost on any of us is that this whole bullshit superusing concept originated right there in good ol costa rica, home of the p o s SBullshitR poker room...... nice!

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

[Auto Donk]

I sure hope oaftard has a clue and outs ur play once and for all.........

[daneblazer]

You'd commit suicide if you ever played Lou. This happened to me a year ago








***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
Hand ID 3595558
$1/$2 NL Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 12:17:00 21/09/2013 ET
Table 'Ambition', 10 seats max, Real money
Seat 10 is the button. Small Blind $1, Big Blind $2
Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 10
Seat 3 (playing) : daneblazer, amount $150.70, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 6 (playing) : sinmiedo, amount $417.45, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 9 (playing) : SBR_Lou, amount $388, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 10 (playing) : SBR_John, amount $406.79, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
daneblazer: Small Blind ($1)
ticklz_can: Big Blind ($2)
** Dealing Down Cards **
Dealt to daneblazer: [As, Ah]
sinmiedo: Call ($2)
SBR_Lou: Raise ($6)
SBR_John: Fold
daneblazer: Call [btn] ($5)
sinmiedo: Call ($4)
** Dealing Flop **
Community cards: [Ac, 6c, 5s]
daneblazer: Check [btn] ($0)
sinmiedo: Check ($0)
SBR_Lou: Bet ($7)
daneblazer: Raise [btn] ($37)
sinmiedo: Fold
SBR_Lou: Raise ($382)
daneblazer: Call [btn] ($107.70)
daneblazer: Show Cards ($0)
SBR_Lou: Show Cards ($0)
** Dealing Turn **
Community cards: [5h]
** Dealing River **
Community cards: [5h]
** End Round **
** Evaluate **
daneblazer Show Cards ($0)
SBR_Lou: Show Cards ($0)
** Showdown **
Main pot $306.40, Rake $3
Side pot #1 $237.30, Rake $0
Summary daneblazer: bet $150.70, won $0, net $-150.70
Summary SBR_Lou: bet $395, won $543.70, net $148.70, HoleCards [5d, 5c], HiHand [Five of a kind] [5s, 5h, 5c, 5d, 5h], won $306.40 from main pot, won $237.30 from side pot #1

[BeerDog99]

lol Dane, that is classic!

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

lol Dane, that is classic!

Yep... but no worries, cuz I paid Lou back about an hour later, doggy.
Here's the HH:

***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
Hand ID 3595590
$1/$2 NL Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 01:17:00 21/09/2013 ET
Table 'Ambition', 10 seats max, Real money
Seat 10 is the button. Small Blind $1, Big Blind $2
Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 10
Seat 3 (playing) bigblue74,amount $2986000.00 amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 6 (playing) : konck, amount $.01, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 9 (playing) : SBR_Lou, amount $388, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 10 (playing) : SBR_BiTeMeUsAdOj, amount $69.69, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
bigblue74: Small Blind ($1)
konck: Big Blind ($.01)
dealer chat: "Broke Dikk Fuk in seat 6 is out because he can't post the blind and is waiting on a 5pts parlay to be graded"
** Dealing Down Cards **
Dealt to SBR_BiTeMeUsAdOj: [As, Ah]
bigblue74: Call ($2)
SBR_Lou: Raise ($6)
konck: Call -- to his butt buddy to make date
SBR_BiTeMeUsAdOj: Call [btn] ($5)
** Dealing Flop **
Community cards: [Ac, 6c, 5s]
bigblue74 chat: "Did that flop hit you Lou you little KUNT"
SBR_BiTe: Check [btn] ($0)
bigblue74: Check ($0)
SBR_Lou: Bet ($7)
SBR_Bite: Raise [btn] ($37)
konck: Raises johnson as date is accepted
SBR_Lou: Raise ($382)
SBR_Bite: Call [btn] ($107.70)
bigblue74: Fold
bigblue74 chat: "I've OuTpLaYeD you KUNTS all night and now I'm only 1 million down lifetime on SBR poker. Suck it ASSWIPES!"
SBR_Bite: Show Cards ($0)
SBR_Lou: Show Cards ($0)
** Dealing Turn **
Community cards: [5h]
** Dealing River **
Community cards: [5h]
** End Round **
** Evaluate and add 2 bonus cards**
**Dealing bonus tributary Rivers**
Community cards: [Ah,As]
SBR_Bite Show Cards ($0)
SBR_Lou: Show Cards ($0)
** Showdown **
Main pot $306.40, Rake $3
Side pot #1 $237.30, Rake $0
Summary SBR_Bite: bet $150.70, won $543.70, net $ shitload of pts
won shitload of pts with Royal Pinochle [As,Ac,Ad,Ah,Ah]
Summary SBR_Lou: bet $395, lost - $543.70, net -all his pts
HoleCards [5d, 5c], RSHand [Five of a kind] [5s, 5h, 5c, 5d, 5h], lost all Walker's chips from main pot, lost $ shitload more from side pot #1
bigblue74 chat: "ROFLMAO! Lou you fukkin Nemo KUNT!!! Easy fold there you c0ck bagel! So obvious he had the Royal Pinochle you Jamie Gold asslickin DOUCHE CANOE!"
konck: "lou grade my 5pts parlay I need to order a pie so miguel and i can eat it then he can eat my pie LOL ok i lied im gonna eat HIS pie probly a rim job too oh boy cant wait lou grade my parlay fast or your and idiot LOL"
[observer] autodonk chat: "Once, at bandcamp, B-Qway superused my sphincter with a trombone and skinflute and I really couldn't say anything because I needed him to take the Cali Bar for me. Shit, I'd never pass it WTF! Plus I kind of liked it anyway."
[observer] chipup chat: "Hey donk my friend. You're one of the few good guys here everyone else are assholes. BiteMe keeps calling me borednaz in PM's. I'm just glad you sold your brain and soul for the 2k pts I owe you and won't listen to him.!!! Christ Almighty you're such a little pt whore, aren't you? lol I'm just glad you'll keep supporting your little chi-pup even tho I'm obviously a lying, scamming deadbeat asshat. I can just imagine what you'd do for 5k pts. Probably blow the forum, huh? lol"
[observer] autodonk chat: "Oh I'd blow the forum for a lot less than that! lol You'll see when you come over and we go to the game. sideloaded has nothing on me, pal. And NO RUBBERS! We're gonna do it Russian #TripleAnal style!!!"
[observer] chipup chat: "lol. Can't wait my friend. I'm just so glad I owe you that 2k so you'll lose your dignity and do all this. You're a true sellout whore for betpoints and I love you for it! I'll bring the BenWa balls and astroglide, too!!!"
SBR_Lou chat: "Hey guys can I come?"

[BeerDog99]

Lmao!

[bobbywaves]

Considering all the individuals involved, I truly believe the above chat is authentic.

[Auto Donk]

at least lou advertised his status as SBR.... quite the red flag........ whereas this coccksucking cheating fckweed bitemeSfCm tries to act like he's legit..... too funny.....

he's either easy to beat (ie, his butt-buddy isn't available to tell him whether he's good or not in a hand) and bleeds chips like a virgin bleeds during her first period, or he wins hands that no legit poker player would even be in while he is "super using."

bottom line on bitemesfcm is he's a cheating piece of shit.....

[GUMMO77]

What is a fair over/under of individual words between Donk and Bite before this is over?

[mpaschal34]

Are both of these guys (donk/biteme) going to the bash? If so, they can settle this one of two ways. A heads up battle of poker with a predetermined amount (ie $500 or $1000 or more) or two, a mud wrestling match.

[GUMMO77]

I vote B

[Auto Donk]

Are both of these guys (donk/biteme) going to the bash? If so, they can settle this one of two ways. A heads up battle of poker with a predetermined amount (ie $500 or $1000 or more) or two, a mud wrestling match.

i refuse to wrestle the cheating piece of shit; he'll be grabbing my balls non - stop.........

[GUMMO77]

; he'll be grabbing my balls non - stop.........

[BeerDog99]

lmao, this thread is sooo funny. Man AD, you need a valium to chill out a bit...

I wish I was going to the bash, seeing some of the interactions with AD, Bobbywaves and a few other posters would be worth money if I had it!

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

**************************************** ***************
AUTODONK's #TRIPLEANAL CONTEST EXTRAVAGANZA!!!
**************************************** ****************
Official Rules: Guess the CORRECT answer to donker's question, "Who's the third?" and win the following:
Correct answer: 100pts
Best 2nd guess: 50pts
Best 3rd guess: 25pts

GO!!!

[BeerDog99]

Ttwarrior and Carseller???? (apparently to AD, they only add up to almost one...)

[Auto Donk]

POOR bitemecheatingpieceofshit........ the poor cheating faghit is very jealous of the russian babe takin' on triple anal........ sorry cheating fahg wishes it was his own little 'cinnamon ring' being stretched beyond all reasonable limits.........

go get some kahk, fahgit biteme........ use the twenty dollars you stole last night in ring games to get yourself a cubby at your local bathhouse so a bunch of hiv laden fahgs can train your cheating ass.........

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

Ttwarrior and Carseller???? (apparently to AD, they only add up to almost one...)

Your answers have been recorded and filed. A contestant can guess multiple times. Prizes will be awarded when all guesses have been tabulated. GL!!

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

POOR bitemecheatingpieceofshit........ the poor cheating faghit is very jealous of the russian babe takin' on triple anal........ sorry cheating fahg wishes it was his own little 'cinnamon ring' being stretched beyond all reasonable limits.........

go get some kahk, fahgit biteme........ use the twenty dollars you stole last night in ring games to get yourself a cubby at your local bathhouse so a bunch of hiv laden fahgs can train your cheating ass.........

I can only posit this is your "S & M dominate" attempt to recruit me to your light-in-the-loafers lifestyle, TinkerBell... but, give it up, Nancy. Unlike you, I play on TEAM NORMAL and desire the XX chromosomers.

Your pic above conclusively proves you're a submissive.
OK... so your parents never accepted you but, hey, WE DO.
So, just accept and love yourself for who you are.
We won't judge (too much).

KEEP THE GUESSES COMING!!! BIG PRIZES HERE!!! ANSWER DONK's QUESTION!!! ^^

[BeerDog99]

LOL, Emily Haines! What was his saying, "penetrate to me tears!!"?? LMAO!

[Auto Donk]

final jeopardy, my answer:

V

[Auto Donk]

I wagered:

SUCK IT, BITEMESHITFACEDCOCKMASTER.....

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

I wagered:

SUCK IT, BITEMESHITFACEDCOCKMASTER.....

Uh, donker... I'll tell ya what EVERYBODY's thinking... mmmkay?
When THIS guy below is more clever & wittier than you... it's really time to hang it up, pal.
Capisce?




REMINDER: CONTEST STILL OPEN! ANSWER DONKER's QUESTION ABOVE ^^ FOR BETPOINT PRIZES!!!

[Enkhbat]

wow didn't know biteme was a cheater

[JAKEPEAVY21]

the world according to Garp....errrrr biteme

[downsouth]

Obviously the third is tidal waves. Nobody pushes the pile like tidal waves and being the third one in you have to come with some force to part the pile of sausage before you to reach the sweet nectar of blown out anus.

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

Some peeps are getting "warm"... CHIME IN NOW! *NEW BONUS PTS ADDED!*

[RudyRuetigger]

and you guys believe autodonk is a lawyer?



im still waiting for that proof. was it posted?

kid isnt above 21

[Auto Donk]

Uh, donker... I'll tell ya what EVERYBODY's thinking... mmmkay?
When THIS guy below is more clever & wittier than you... it's really time to hang it up, pal.
Capisce?




REMINDER: CONTEST STILL OPEN! ANSWER DONKER's QUESTION ABOVE ^^ FOR BETPOINT PRIZES!!!

u always yap about "wit" this and "wit" that, yet your smack consists of "mmmkays" and idiotic shit u steal from f'n cartoons.... you are a witty guy!!!!!! witty u amuse me? witty you make me laff? witty you're a fukin clown?.............. HOW THE penetrate ARE YOU WITTY???????

[bobbywaves]

Nobody pushes the pile like tidal waves

Back in the day when I was playing running back, defensive linemen were saying the same.

[BiTeMe UsAdOj]

....

[Auto Donk]

Back in the day when I was playing running back, defensive linemen were saying the same.

hahaha.... running back..... what a pusssy..........

now you only push piles when you're playing "bareback"!!!!!

[mpaschal34]

BW's....please post a picture of you in uniform. If you do...and it can be verified, I will never give you a hard time again.

[bobbywaves]

BW's....please post a picture of you in uniform. If you do...and it can be verified, I will never give you a hard time again.

MP's...please post a photo of you in cheerleader uniform. If you do...and it can be verified, I will continue to give you a hard time.