My ex won't let me see...

fiveteamer · 10-02-08, 12:17 PM

We need more rights for Dads.

BadNina · 10-02-08, 12:19 PM

Your ex's actions are just as hurtful to your daughter. Children need both parents. You should look into filing contempt charges against her.

pavyracer · 10-02-08, 12:21 PM

Let me get this straight. You can afford a $50,000 BMW luxury automobile but you missed your child support payments? If I was a judge I would put you in jail.

fiveteamer · 10-02-08, 12:23 PM

You know what would suck? If your ex was usuing your child support payments on taking her new guy out for dinner.

I would go OJ on her. Just sayin...

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 12:29 PM

Pavy ...I pay $260 per week in child support for my daughter now, she is 5 now I was very, young when my daughter was born, I did some childish things...I would do anything to see her....and Pavy come on man... it wasn't about the $, in my mind then I thought that would make her let me see her more.

englishmike · 10-02-08, 12:29 PM

She's playing games so play them back, you need to learn how to become devious and calculating.

Tell her you miss your daughter and without your daughter life's not worth living, hint at suicide. Make her think your life hangs on her behaviour. Might sound crazy but it will work and if it doesn't work she's too cold and calculating for reasoned debate anyway, so at least it will be resolved one way or another. When your daughter is old enough to mkae her own decisions tell your wife you played her like a violin, tell her theres no way you woould commit suicide while there are games to bet on, laugh at her basically.

Bread · 10-02-08, 12:31 PM

Well you're getting about the response you kinda expected here I guess?? lol.

Hang in there pally baby. Let's get drunk and play some Mike Tyson Punch Out!

Then we'll fck with Midget Mac!!!

Panic · 10-02-08, 12:35 PM

The worse is when your ex's new boyfriend spanks your kid.....the boyfriend never did that again.

As far as visitation rights, as long as you're paying your child support payments, you have every right to see your daughter. Call the cops. Get it on record. Then go back to court. If the judge pulls the same sh!t, file against him/her. No way a judge can keep you away from your child if you're paying child support unless you are a threat to the child.

jjgold · 10-02-08, 12:36 PM

BMW maybe get back with her for a while so you can see your daughter.

Try to get legal visiting rights

Extreme measure you could send Rogue Juror's brother Marakan

Shark79 · 10-02-08, 12:40 PM

Sorry to hear that bimmer ... but there should be a way for you to see ur kid ... try using a different lawyer.

fiveteamer · 10-02-08, 12:41 PM

Yes, make sure that lawyer is jewish.

AMBlai01 · 10-02-08, 12:42 PM

BMW on a serious note I really feel for you. This really sucks more than you can imagine because of course all that it is hurting is your daughter....

Growing up I remember that all I wanted to do was see my father and he was a deadbeat dad and hardly ever wanted to see me. What I wouldn't have given for my father to really want to see me.... My advice is just to keep pushing to see your little girl, eventually your ex will give in or your daughter will see her mom is the bad guy in all this.

Hang in there Buddy...

BadNina · 10-02-08, 12:44 PM

Exactly! Your daughter will know if you are fighting to see her.

What state are you in?

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 12:47 PM

thanks for some insight fellas....5teamer those thoughts went through my mind about 4 years ago ...but time heals thoughts like that...and Mike I have never went the suicide route of thinking Yet...but I have done, said, and threatened many situations. bottom line is men in these situations are so tied to what they can do. Sick thing is I pay, and I have a white colored background. The judge still goes by the letters that is all. Bread thanks big fella I knew I would get some stuff I guess.. this is what I am going through today just had to share is all! JJ we tried to get back together a few times, Today... I know it was the right move to stay apart. It's just I can never cut ties with this...never. Thats the only part I can't come to grips with.

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 12:49 PM

Nina and AMB ...I appreciate your thoughts thanks...

Shark79 · 10-02-08, 12:51 PM

Could it be that she does this cause she wants to get back?

Sit down with her on a serious note ... and ask her why so much hate ... that is if you really dont know.

BadNina · 10-02-08, 12:52 PM

Well, BMW, this is kinda what I do when I actually break down and do some real work in the real world.

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 12:52 PM

5teamer .....you know what.....I have to laugh ....ahahaha................you know what my ****ing New York Times newspaper readin .....while still chargin my ass $350 an hour even though were waiting for the judge to call our case ...you know what this polo shirt wearin LICENSE plate on his car says.......
SeeSaws...mother****er hahaha

pavyracer · 10-02-08, 12:54 PM

Never use the child support payments as a bargaining tool. This is why you can't see your daughter.

bettilimbroke999 · 10-02-08, 12:58 PM

Must be a reason why the judge isn't allowing you to see your daughter, generally courts award visitation. Prolly have a criminal record and your ex thinks your a psycho, threatening suicide is prolly not going to convince her or the court otherwise

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 12:59 PM

bet man read the post big fella, Judge never said i couldnt see my daughter...my ex keeps her from me...wake up

bettilimbroke999 · 10-02-08, 01:04 PM

Originally posted by bmw530i

bet man read the post big fella, Judge never said i couldnt see my daughter...my ex keeps her from me...wake up

If you have court ordered visitation she has to let you see your daughter, she can be arrested for contempt of court, threaten her with that if you have to

Boner_18 · 10-02-08, 01:09 PM

Yes. Follow your legal options and dot the I's and cross the T's. You will see your child. Also, get a new lawyer, make sure he is Jewish.

bettilimbroke999 · 10-02-08, 01:09 PM

A court will normally suspend visitation if you have failed to pay child support, my guess is you skipped so many child support payments (whilst driving around in a new BMW) that you made the judge want to throw up and have fuked yourself into a corner

bookie · 10-02-08, 01:11 PM

If your in the mood to take advice here's some...have your attorney let your friend of the court or whoever deals with this issue know you want more contact...the sooner that get that on record the better off you'll be, even though it will take a while for stuff to happen.

Those who counsel manipulation and conflict are giving you disastrous advice. Keep your cool. That's almost the most important thing. Also never speak bad of your ex to your child. That's making it about you. Your job is to make it about the child.

Know that unless you've been a total ****-up on ways you haven't disclosed you'll get chances to be a good dad...and as the years go by if you have developed a bond with your child the child will start to determine the schedule. It's only natural to grieve that you can't be an intact family, but recognize that you still have something to work toward.

Consider trying to get a bigger picture by reading books about divorce, parent-child communication, blended families, and stuff like that. It's a way to do something when you're hurting, and can help you get a handle on your situation and to think about how to develop a relationship with your child when the chance comes.

Don't think that looking into her eyes and pouring out how much you love her is enough. That's the hundred dollar bill you need to learn to give her in nickles and dimes across time--and giving what is needed is a skill, not something that will necessarily happen just because you lover her deeply it's clear you do. Reading and thinking about the role you want to play will help you give what is needed, and not just what you want to give.

Gamble on...

englishmike · 10-02-08, 01:11 PM

All I'm saying is play tough, don't get so emotionally involved that you forget how to play the game because thats all it is to her so beat her ass at thesame game, get tough.

And Bookie, whilst your advice is solid and well meaning, he's dealing with someone who is happy to use the daughter as a bargaining chip, which renders constructive advice such as yours meaningless, he needs to get slick and play her at her own game. Just my two cents. Good look pal.

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 01:12 PM

how do you know they will suspend them betlimit?? previous experience? your thoughts in this thread betlimit are about as good as your picks....shitty

bettilimbroke999 · 10-02-08, 01:17 PM

Puttin your child support payments on USC ML is how you lost your visitation, your kid needs food and clothes more than you need a new BMW, just lucky I wasn't the judge, you'd have had your BMW impounded and auctioned off

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 01:21 PM

God your so angry....betlimit...no Ml here on USC but boy...that must have been a doosey for you....hahahahha

englishmike · 10-02-08, 01:21 PM

Originally posted by bettilimbroke999

Puttin your child support payments on USC ML is how you lost your visitation, your kid needs food and clothes more than you need a new BMW, just lucky I wasn't the judge, you'd have had your BMW impounded and auctioned off

lol You know the guy personally right?

Panic · 10-02-08, 01:25 PM

Actually, Bet is right. Like i said before, if you are paying your child support and you have visitation, she HAS to let you see your child. Period. If not call the cops. If you arent doing that, something else is going on that bmw is not telling us. She cant just keep the money and not let him see if daughter if he has visitation rights. That simple.

bmw530i · 10-02-08, 01:27 PM

Panic I see her....sometimes my ex makes shit up like this morning for example and I didnt get to see her...

PuckOff · 10-02-08, 01:28 PM

Originally posted by englishmike

All I'm saying is play tough, don't get so emotionally involved that you forget how to play the game because thats all it is to her so beat her ass at thesame game, get tough.

And Bookie, whilst your advice is solid and well meaning, he's dealing with someone who is happy to use the daughter as a bargaining chip, which renders constructive advice such as yours meaningless, he needs to get slick and play her at her own game. Just my two cents. Good look pal.

Englishmike,

I agree with you. It's the same as a school yard bully. Once you stand up to him.her they always back down and will do so in the future cause they know who and what they will be dealing with.

Threatening suicide is dumb though. The judge can take this as Beamer being emotionally unstable and thus could possibly physically hurt his child. Bad advice IMHO.

Panic · 10-02-08, 01:30 PM

Originally posted by bmw530i

Panic I see her....sometimes my ex makes shit up like this morning for example and I didnt get to see her...

Ah. I was under the impression that she wasn't letting you see her at all. If she is skipping a day on you, than tell her you want a make up day. Like next week you get her 3 days instead of 2. If she doesnt agree and keeps pulling that sh!t, tell her, you want o go back to court and make sure you have all the days documented that she kept you from your daughter.