joke about republicans/libertarians/democrats

[milwaukee mike]

a repub, a dem, and a libertarian were eating lunch when they noticed jesus eating alone nearby.

the repub offered to pay for jesus' drinks, the libertarian paid for the meal, and the dem paid for dessert.

after eating, jesus came over and touched the republican.

"wow i feel 20 years younger, thanks jesus!"

jesus touched the libertarian

"wow i also feel 20 years younger, thanks jesus!"

jesus approached the democrat

"don't you dare touch me, i'm on disability"

[icancount2one]

That's fukking hilarious.

My dad agrees with you. He'd rather have 40% of his what his salary used to be and keep the multiple sclerosis.

Asshole

[jarvol]

That's fukking hilarious.

My dad agrees with you. He'd rather have 40% of his what his salary used to be and keep the multiple sclerosis.

Asshole

Why should taxpayers be responsible for paying that 40%?

[DwightShrute]

Bush & Obama



George W Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Obama was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse.'
The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you sir?' Bush replied, 'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'

[Emily_Haines]

Actually the republican would probably break down and start crying because his beloved Jesus was drinking at a bar not living up to the high standards of the party.

[rkelly110]

The hilarious part is, a Repub paying for anything, let alone drinks.

[CarpeDime]

a repub, a dem, and a libertarian were eating lunch when they noticed jesus eating alone nearby.

the repub offered to pay for jesus' drinks, the libertarian paid for the meal, and the dem paid for dessert.

after eating, jesus came over and touched the republican.

"wow i feel 20 years younger, thanks jesus!"

jesus touched the libertarian

"wow i also feel 20 years younger, thanks jesus!"

jesus approached the democrat

"don't you dare touch me, i'm on disability"

unreal

we have a 14 trillion debt and yet we spend billions of dollars a year so that lazy people can sit on their ass all day

unreal! once again - it's called WALMART and it's called a JOB APPLICATION learn it live it love it!

"disability"

Walmart has GREETERS, you are too disabled to stand in front of the store and say hi???? I didn't think so

I don't care if my greeter at Walmart is all fuked up in some way, he can STILL fukin say hi to me!

[crustyme]

another joke not based in reality or facts.... only on ignorance and hypocricy.

[icancount2one]

Why should taxpayers be responsible for paying that 40%?

The same reason taxpayers are responsible for building and maintaining roads, and keeping a police force/military to (in theory) protect your property and liberty. Humans are social animals, and in a democracy we work together for mutual benefit.

Also, those on SS/Disability paid into the system their whole (working) lives.

Though I doubt that facts matter to you.

unreal

we have a 14 trillion debt and yet we spend billions of dollars a year bombing countries for oil and maintaining a nuclear arsenal 10x bigger than necessary.

unreal! once again - it's called DISTRACTION by blaming the poor, and idiots LOVE IT!

"disability"

Walmart no longer has GREETERS, do you pay attention to what is going on in the world around you???? I didn't think so

I don't care it causes my greeter intense pain to just stand there and do nothing, it's better than some kind of social safety net!

fixed that for you.

[Naz18]

The republican would crucify Jesus for caring, helping and healing poor people.

[milwaukee mike]

That's fukking hilarious.

My dad agrees with you. He'd rather have 40% of his what his salary used to be and keep the multiple sclerosis.

Asshole

thx for the kind words. i'm pretty sure it's not my fault your dad has ms, so are you looking for guilt out of me/others or sympathy?

i have a friend with ms, confined to a wheelchair, and guess what? HE WORKS! as a dispatcher for the police department. now there's someone to look up to.

[d2bets]

thx for the kind words. i'm pretty sure it's not my fault your dad has ms, so are you looking for guilt out of me/others or sympathy?

i have a friend with ms, confined to a wheelchair, and guess what? HE WORKS! as a dispatcher for the police department. now there's someone to look up to.

Are you suggesting that those who have MS and collect disability but don't work are just lazy?

[RudyRuetigger]

The hilarious part is, a Repub paying for anything, let alone drinks.

im sure he pays your salary

[CarpeDime]

jesus approached the democrat

"don't you dare touch me, i'm on disability"

you didn't finish the story

then Jesus said "Don't worry I wasn't going to heal you. I don't heal socialists or atheists. I don't heal people who hate freedom. I don't heal people who think government should control every aspect of people's lives. I don't heal people who want to raise taxes so high that everyone in society suffers. I don't heal people who give free handouts to people who haven't earned them. I don't heal the lazy. I don't heal people who worship science. I don't heal people who think people can warm the earth without God wanting them to. I don't heal people who hate rich people. I don't heal people who are ungrateful to rich people for providing them with jobs. I don't heal people who think homosexuality is acceptable. I don't heal people who think that marriage can include one man and one man, or one man and two dogs, or one man and three women and two other men, or any other iteration thereof. I don't heal people who don't understand that every man who loves freedom must be able to own a gun. I don't heal people who are too stupid to understand that more guns equals less violence. I don't heal people who think that Real Americans should be forced to pay for birth control for illegal immigrants."

And then Jesus walked away, wanting to punch the democrat's lights out, but not doing so because he turns the other cheek.

[ChalkyDog]

The republican would crucify Jesus for caring, helping and healing poor people.

[ChalkyDog]

you didn't finish the story

then Jesus said "Don't worry I wasn't going to heal you. I don't heal socialists or atheists. I don't heal people who hate freedom. I don't heal people who think government should control every aspect of people's lives. I don't heal people who want to raise taxes so high that everyone in society suffers. I don't heal people who give free handouts to people who haven't earned them. I don't heal the lazy. I don't heal people who worship science. I don't heal people who think people can warm the earth without God wanting them to. I don't heal people who hate rich people. I don't heal people who are ungrateful to rich people for providing them with jobs. I don't heal people who think homosexuality is acceptable. I don't heal people who think that marriage can include one man and one man, or one man and two dogs, or one man and three women and two other men, or any other iteration thereof. I don't heal people who don't understand that every man who loves freedom must be able to own a gun. I don't heal people who are too stupid to understand that more guns equals less violence. I don't heal people who think that Real Americans should be forced to pay for birth control for illegal immigrants."

And then Jesus walked away, wanting to punch the democrat's lights out, but not doing so because he turns the other cheek.

Tell me again how much of a Patriot you are.

[King Mayan]

another joke not based in reality or facts.... only on ignorance and hypocricy.

what? Guys living in trailers collecting disability don't vote democrat ???.. Unreal..

[PickWinnerAllDay]

another joke not based in reality or facts.... only on ignorance and hypocricy.

How can you not see how this logic is flawed????? is right.

[CarpeDime]

Tell me again how much of a Patriot you are.

I am a 100% Patriot. We must lower the national debt by slashing taxes, especially on capital gains and on inheritances.

We must maintain Freedom Of Religion by electing politicians with CHRISTIAN values, not atheists and not muslims or muslim symapthizers and not socialists.

We must maintain peace by allowing every True American to own a gun.

We must increase world wide prosperity and civilization by attacking and removing any leader or foreign regime of evil.

We must guarantee a free market by slashing taxes on Wall St, Corporations, and job creators, and by removing regulations on them as well. If we can get to a point where they can literally do whatever they want, then we will see unemployment at historic lows, and only those whom do not want a job will not have one.

We must eliminate ALL government handouts - Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security and Welfare.

We must preserve Freedom Of Speech by tuning out the liberal mainstream media.

[PickWinnerAllDay]

Liberals = against capital punishment and for late term abortion.

They are morons.

[ChalkyDog]

I am a 100% Patriot. We must lower the national debt by slashing taxes, especially on capital gains and on inheritances.

We must maintain Freedom Of Religion by electing politicians with CHRISTIAN values, not atheists and not muslims or muslim symapthizers and not socialists.

We must maintain peace by allowing every True American to own a gun.

We must increase world wide prosperity and civilization by attacking and removing any leader or foreign regime of evil.

We must guarantee a free market by slashing taxes on Wall St, Corporations, and job creators, and by removing regulations on them as well. If we can get to a point where they can literally do whatever they want, then we will see unemployment at historic lows, and only those whom do not want a job will not have one.

We must eliminate ALL government handouts - Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security and Welfare.

We must preserve Freedom Of Speech by tuning out the liberal mainstream media.

....

[ChalkyDog]

Liberals = against capital punishment and for late term abortion.

They are morons.

Mental Migets = for the death penalty, against freedom of choice for women.

Those people are almost as confused as those who support the free market, yet demand a strong national defense - when those two things are mutually exclusive.

[PickWinnerAllDay]

Mental Migets = for the death penalty, against freedom of choice for women.

Those people are almost as confused as those who support the free market, yet demand a strong national defense - when those two things are mutually exclusive.

If you commit more than 1 murder, rape, or gruesome sexual offense, you should be put to death. Period. I know several republicans (myself included) that are okay with abortion. I personally think it is wrong but I also don't want some trashy woman having a baby she doesn't want to have and won't take care of.

Hell, I think 25% of the population should have their breeding rights revoked altogether. The dumbest, trashiest people in our society have the most children.

[milwaukee mike]

Are you suggesting that those who have MS and collect disability but don't work are just lazy?

no way was i suggesting that.

i was suggesting that a man confined to a wheelchair with ms (my friend), who wants to work and takes pride in it, is a man to be respected.

but i will suggest that there are hundreds of thousands of people who are on disability or worker's compensation or unemployment who are capable of working to some degree but choose not to. if the system gives you a free lunch it's hard to criticize the people taking it as "lazy", if i was in their shoes i might do the same thing.

[ChalkyDog]

If you commit more than 1 murder, rape, or gruesome sexual offense, you should be put to death. Period. I know several republicans (myself included) that are okay with abortion. I personally think it is wrong but I also don't want some trashy woman having a baby she doesn't want to have and won't take care of.

Hell, I think 25% of the population should have their breeding rights revoked altogether. The dumbest, trashiest people in our society have the most children.

Hey that's cool man - you don't support two mutually exclusive ideas.... I am a general fan of thought and a general hater of talking points with no thought of your own.

I support the death penalty in some instances - if it is deserved, and doesn't let an asshole get out of suffering. Death is too easy for some scumbags - for those, lock their ass in isolation, feed them gruel - leave them with a dull rusty blade.

I also support freedom of choice. Women have a right to their bodies - as long as at the end of they day, they are back in the kitchen makin' me a sammich.

Democrats and Republicans are the same goddamn horrid animal, they just choose to wear different colored ties - fukk em all.

[King Mayan]

Repubs always have a friend, sibling, etc. That does this and that.


it's always bullshit...

[PickWinnerAllDay]

Repubs always have a friend, sibling, etc. That does this and that.


it's always bullshit...

All that working out has fried your brain.

[King Mayan]

All that working out has fried your brain.

Kid Ive seen your video.. Meth has fried many brains, not pumping iron.

[CarpeDime]

Repubs always have a friend, sibling, etc. That does this and that.


it's always bullshit...

well we do

I have a cousin, he was born with no legs

after that, both of his parents died, and he had no money to get through school

He also had no grandparents, and no aunts or cousins to help out either

after that he went blind in one eye, and then was in an accident where he lost one of his arms as well

one day he decided that he wasnt going to complain anymore, and take control of his own life

so, with no legs, blind in one eye, and only one arm, with no education, he started selling newspapers and ice cream in the street

now he is a multi-millionaire who owns 4 companies and employs 250 people

and obama still wants to tax him back into the poor house

so i dont want to hear any more whining from any libtards on here any more

[brooks85]

still confused as why some of you people are allowed to vote.. mayan.. haines... etc...

[PickWinnerAllDay]

Kid Ive seen your video.. Meth has fried many brains, not pumping iron.

Meth? The brain is a muscle too. Work it out sometime.

[ChalkyDog]

well we do

I have a cousin, he was born with no legs

after that, both of his parents died, and he had no money to get through school

He also had no grandparents, and no aunts or cousins to help out either

after that he went blind in one eye, and then was in an accident where he lost one of his arms as well

one day he decided that he wasnt going to complain anymore, and take control of his own life

so, with no legs, blind in one eye, and only one arm, with no education, he started selling newspapers and ice cream in the street

now he is a multi-millionaire who owns 4 companies and employs 250 people

and obama still wants to tax him back into the poor house

so i dont want to hear any more whining from any libtards on here any more

BTW, I knoes dis guy - he has all arms, and all his legs, and all his eyes, and all his brains - and he's rich - and he thinks the taxes is too lowz....

I don't wantsta hear no more whining from the retards (short for full-o-shit conservative) asking for da rich to haz mo monies.

[CarpeDime]

still confused as why some of you people are allowed to vote.. mayan.. haines... etc...

Actually they shouldn't be. Treason is a felony and the Constitution says felons can't vote for EXACTLY THAT REASON.

The Founding Forfathers did not intend for treasonous socialist atheists to be able to vote.

I hope some day we prosecute liberals for treason so that they cannot continue to fuk up our country.

[King Mayan]

still confused as why some of you people are allowed to vote.. mayan.. haines... etc...

And why are you allowed to vote??

Wait, i know, you have pale skin and own a gun

[milwaukee mike]

"The same reason taxpayers are responsible for building and maintaining roads, and keeping a police force/military to (in theory) protect your property and liberty. Humans are social animals, and in a democracy we work together for mutual benefit.

Also, those on SS/Disability paid into the system their whole (working) lives.

Though I doubt that facts matter to you."

um sorry but there are plenty of kids getting disability/ss that never paid in a dime so that "fact" isn't really a fact. name one 80 year old that paid in anything close to what they have received from social security/medicare. keep in mind s.s. tax was capped at around $450/year as recently as the early 80s.

yes we work together for mutual benefit. what is the benefit of me paying for a 90 year old with alzheimer's to sit in a nursing home? that isn't benefitting the common good to the extent that it is costing.

if someone doesn't have family and friends willing to help them out with food, clothing, and shelter, then why should the rest of us who don't even know that person help them?

i was taught that usually the people that don't have anyone to take care of them aren't worth taking care of. in a lot of cases they have no friends and family willing to help them because they are not a decent person.

if i was mentally/physically disabled tomorrow there are at least 5 people who would let me live with them and feed me.