1. my mom still buys me toilet paper even though i wipe my ass with a towel. So much easier and more convenient
2 a blonde women was on a girls’ weekend in Las Vegas. She stood in front of a candy machine, put in two quarters, turned the knob, and a candy bar fell out. She repeated the process, and again a candy bar fell out. Elated, she tried again as a man approached, saying, “Excuse me miss, what are you doing?”
She said, “Hello! I’m winning here!”
3. a man comes home from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”
“Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”
“How did you manage that, you fool?”
“It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”
3. a man hear's a voice, that tells him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. The next day he hears the same voice telling him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. On a third day, he hears the voice again; saying “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He finally obeys.
Upon arriving in Las Vegas, the voice says, “Go to the Rio.” He does.
At the Rio, the voice says, “Put your last $10,000 on a WSOP entry.” He does.
The first hand of the tournament, the man is dealt A A. “Go all in,” commands the voice. He does and gets three callers. The flop is J T 9. “F*%$!” says the voice.
Comment
TR88
Restricted User
06-10-10
9364
#3
Comment
Goat Milk
BARRELED IN @ SBR!
03-24-10
25850
#4
thanks
Cause Sleep is the Cousin of Death
Comment
daimoshokage
SBR Hall of Famer
02-07-11
8935
#5
Funny shit!
Comment
FourLengthsClear
SBR MVP
12-29-10
3808
#6
Originally posted by ttwarrior1
3. a man hear's a voice, that tells him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. The next day he hears the same voice telling him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. On a third day, he hears the voice again; saying “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He finally obeys.
Upon arriving in Las Vegas, the voice says, “Go to the Rio.” He does.
At the Rio, the voice says, “Put your last $10,000 on a WSOP entry.” He does.
The first hand of the tournament, the man is dealt A A. “Go all in,” commands the voice. He does and gets three callers. The flop is J T 9. “F*%$!” says the voice.
LOL. Not bad.
Comment
NYSportsGuy210
SBR Posting Legend
11-07-09
11347
#7
I don't understand how the last one is funny.
Comment
SlickRick1382
SBR MVP
10-15-11
3838
#8
Good stuff TT
Comment
yisman
SBR Aristocracy
09-01-08
75682
#9
Originally posted by NYSportsGuy210
I don't understand how the last one is funny.
Same.
[quote=jjgold;5683305]I win again like usual
[/quote]
[quote=Whippit;7921056]miami won't lose a single eastern conference game through end of season[/quote]
Comment
paco
SBR Aristocracy
05-07-09
62873
#10
Don't understand the last joke.
Comment
daimoshokage
SBR Hall of Famer
02-07-11
8935
#11
Originally posted by paco
Don't understand the last joke.
because you're a fukking moron..
Comment
MartinBlank
SBR Hall of Famer
07-20-08
8382
#12
Well done TT.
That is actually pretty good.
Comment
DrStale
SBR Hall of Famer
12-07-08
9692
#13
Last one is funny indeed.
Originally posted by Dark Horse
If with religion you mean belief system, your belief system is your religion. Again, it matters not what it is. You believe in it, you are loyal to it, would defend it, and yet have no proof of it, other than that, at one point or another, you chose to believe in it. Self-hypnosis. What if there were a snapping of fingers that broke the hypnosis?