A New York lawyer finally got his dream vacation which was duck hunting down in east Texas. Course downing a real duck was not as easy as it looked on TV. Finally his shot found its mark and the duck fell to the ground. Only problem was it fell across a barbwire fence.
The anxious New York lawyer started crossing the fence when a tractor rolled up. In the drivers seat an old Texas rancher with a leather face and jeans tucked into his boots descended. He said “son, that there duck is on my property and that’s where it’s a gonna stay”. The lawyer jumped into constitutional rights and free air space rights when the Texan interrupted and said “boy hold your tongue”.
He said “boy in Texas we dont go by some fancy laws we settle disputes like men. You want to settle this or yack all day?” The lawyer liked hearing the word "settlement" so he asked what was the settlement offer.
The Texan said it works like this, you kick me in the crotch and then I kick you and we go at it until someone gives up. Winner gets the duck. The lawyer couldn’t help but smile. He was 35 years younger and in great shape. He thought this is being a man in Texas and he was going for it. The lawyer had a devilish smile when he said loudly, "You're on!".
The Texan said since you're on my land I’ll go 1st. The Texan took a couple of running steps forward and put his size 11.5 steel toed boot right on the crotch just below the zipper causing the lawyer's eyes to nearly pop out and sending him backwards and then face first into the dirt with an erie thud. He drooled for a few minutes as he made it to his knees and finally to his feet. With the adrenalin flowing he pointed at the Texan and said “now its my turn M-fvcker!”. The Texan, leaning relaxed against the tractor cracked a smile from the middle of his leather face, tipped his hat and said, “nah, I give up, you can have the duck.”
The anxious New York lawyer started crossing the fence when a tractor rolled up. In the drivers seat an old Texas rancher with a leather face and jeans tucked into his boots descended. He said “son, that there duck is on my property and that’s where it’s a gonna stay”. The lawyer jumped into constitutional rights and free air space rights when the Texan interrupted and said “boy hold your tongue”.
He said “boy in Texas we dont go by some fancy laws we settle disputes like men. You want to settle this or yack all day?” The lawyer liked hearing the word "settlement" so he asked what was the settlement offer.
The Texan said it works like this, you kick me in the crotch and then I kick you and we go at it until someone gives up. Winner gets the duck. The lawyer couldn’t help but smile. He was 35 years younger and in great shape. He thought this is being a man in Texas and he was going for it. The lawyer had a devilish smile when he said loudly, "You're on!".
The Texan said since you're on my land I’ll go 1st. The Texan took a couple of running steps forward and put his size 11.5 steel toed boot right on the crotch just below the zipper causing the lawyer's eyes to nearly pop out and sending him backwards and then face first into the dirt with an erie thud. He drooled for a few minutes as he made it to his knees and finally to his feet. With the adrenalin flowing he pointed at the Texan and said “now its my turn M-fvcker!”. The Texan, leaning relaxed against the tractor cracked a smile from the middle of his leather face, tipped his hat and said, “nah, I give up, you can have the duck.”
