Funniest movie lines?It's like a dead heat in a zeppelin race was one?

[BrentCrude]

Anyone ever see Jim Carrey in Me myself and Irene?I just saw it this weekend for the first time.It had it's funny moments.One funny line was when the guys were oggling the large boobed woman from the barber shop window and when she bent over,one guy said.it's like a dead heat in a zeppelin race.

To qualify as a funny line it has to be instantaneously funny.It can't be where you wait to hear other peoples reaction to go along with the crowd laughing.

Anyone have any funny lines from movies they think are worthy of adding to the funniest lines list?

[MrX]

"I'll have what she's having"

[gordon gekko]

Haha it was just on FX the other day one of Jim Carreys best roles.

[MrX]

"Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room."

[RageWizard]

One of my favorites is in the movie Cannon Ball Run when Terry Bradshaw is testing out the car and the hood flies up. He then says, "I can't see shitcan you?"

[louisvillekid]

"Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room."

is that from that Stanley Kubrick movie about nuclear war?

[gordon gekko]

is that from that Stanley Kubrick movie nuclear war?

yep Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

[daggerkobe]

"What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?"
"I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass!"

[BigOrangeTitans]

"Whose feeding these goddamn animals booze?"


Johnny Depp

[louisvillekid]

there are so many good lines i would be here all day posting ones i liked. I know what you mean BC, about people having to wait for others to laugh. Sitcoms for years were filmed in front of a live audience and they would even add in laugh tracks, plus the actors/actresses would always pause when they would say there funny line and wait for the laugh from the audience or so the editors could add in a laugh track later.
I think that is why a lot of people don't get the humor in shows like "The Office", "My Name is Earl", "Scrubs", and "30 Rock", because you have to get the dry/sarcastic humor, you can't wait for others to laugh and then laugh along.

i was just flipping through the channels the other night, and the original National Lampoons Vacation was on. I liked the line, actually i liked alot of lines from when they visit uncle Eddie. I hadn't seen it in so long i forgot about some of the good lines.
I liked when Eddie's daughter was telling Clark's daughter she was going steady and was french kissing, Clark's daughter says "so, everyone does that." and Eddie's daughter says "yeah, but daddy says i'm good at it."

[gordon gekko]

" "Band of Brothers"... you should rent it sometime "

[vanman]

"Nice beaver" (Naked Gun)

Planes,Trains and Automobiles,too many one liners to mention

[Sean]

The Big Lebowski ...
The Dude: "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"

[Sean]

From Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story ...

Peter Griffin (in the video store): "Save your money, Tucker. This place doesn't have porn. They think its immoral. You know, that really grinds my gears. Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor's living room while his neighbor's at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the Bible was way too long to read!"

[MrX]

The Big Lebowski ...
The Dude: "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"

One of my very favorite lines.

I can't believe I didn't think of it.

[buztah]

You're gonna need a bigger boat........

[MrX]

You're gonna need a bigger boat........

Also excellent!

[Immortality]

"What in the wild, wild world of sports is going on around here? I hired you boys to lay a little track...not to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!"

[Kellen]

"You trying to say Jesus Christ cant hit a curve ball"

[SBR Lou]

Anything in the movie "SLAPSHOT"...

[Willie Bee]

"Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room."

My favorite flick, Mr. X. So many lines to pick from in that one. Also love it when Slim Pickens reads off the contents of the survival pack and concludes, "Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all this."

[ms61853]

Many from Glengarry/Glen Ross

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104348/quotes

[HedgeHog]

"Surely" there were many great lines in Airplane...and don't call me Shirley.

[Immortality]

"Surely" there were many great lines in Airplane...and don't call me Shirley.

"Joey.. you like movies about gladiators"

[mathdotcom]

Jim Carey? wtf. The guy is not funny. He distorts his face looking all retarded and thinks he's a comedian??

[Bet Shooter]

"Surely" there were many great lines in Airplane...and don't call me Shirley.

"You ever seen a grown man naked?"

[Sean]

"Surely" there were many great lines in Airplane...and don't call me Shirley.

[BGS 9.5]

"I'll have a hamburger...no, I'll have a hot dog...I'll have......."

Ted Knight: "You'll have nothing and like it!!!!"

[HedgeHog]

Too funny, Sean. Thanks for the clip.

[louisvillekid]

The Big Lebowski ...
The Dude: "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"

i can quote almost that whole movie verbatim, i love that movie.

https://www.lebowskifest.com

[moneyline]

Bad News Bears (because I just watched it -- a line that would never be in a movie like that one again, courtesy of Tanner)

"Jews, Spics, ******s, Retards and now a girl ..."

(see, even the screener here won't let the "N" word be written -- but a 12 year old used it in the BNB)

[Kellen]

Bad News Bears (because I just watched it -- a line that would never be in a movie like that one again, courtesy of Tanner)

"Jews, Spics, ******s, Retards and now a girl ..."

(see, even the screener here won't let the "N" word be written -- but a 12 year old used it in the BNB)

I liked the Tanner quote from In Breaking Training better

"Jews, Spics, ******s and a wop that throws airballs."

[moneyline]

Tanner was a classic ... the one they had in the new BNB was pathetic (as was the movie -- feel dirty just for watching it)

[jgm1967]

My friends and I that hung out with in high school would quote lines directly from caddy shack.

That movie is still great.harvard lampoon,national lampoon, during its golden era, type of humor

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny?
Danny Noonan: Every day.
Ty Webb: Good. Then what's your problem?
Danny Noonan: I don't know.

[jgm1967]

Danny Noonan: I gotta go to college.
Ty Webb: You don't have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia.

Judge Smails: Danny, I'm having a party this weekend.
[pauses a beat]
Judge Smails: How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?

Sandy: I want you to kill every gophers on the golf course!
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key...
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!
Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers -!

Carl Spackler: [preparing to dynamite the gopher tunnel] In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.


Carl Spackler: License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

Carl Spackler: This place got a pool?
Ty Webb: Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.