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  • gordon gekko
    SBR MVP
    • 05-01-08
    • 2842

    #1
    Joke
    A man had been drinking for several hours in his neighborhood bar when the bartender started to close up. The drunken man got off his stool and fell to the floor. He pulled himself up on the stool, took one step toward the door and fell again. "Oh, hell. I'll crawl then," he said. He crawled to the door, pulled himself up by the doorknob, worked his way outside and fell again when he let go. He decided to crawl around the corner to his home. He pulled himself up to let himself in, managed to close the door, but fell again when he stepped toward the couch. After crawling to the couch he pulled himself up on it and went to sleep. An hour later his wife turned on the lights and woke him up.

    "You've been drinking again, haven't you?" she said angrily.

    "No, honey. I was out with the guys late and did not want to wake you..."

    "Right," she said. "The bar just called to let me know you forgot your wheelchair."
  • Sportsgirl
    SBR MVP
    • 09-10-06
    • 4493

    #2
    1
    Comment
    • Willie Bee
      SBR Posting Legend
      • 02-14-06
      • 15726

      #3
      That story about my father-in-law's first experience with Texas chili after moving from NYC is still making the rounds, huh?



      A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

      The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

      "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

      His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

      "Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
      Comment
      • Tsoprano
        BARRELED IN @ SBR!
        • 04-14-08
        • 26374

        #4
        [QUOTE=Willie Bee;769085]That story about my father-in-law's first experience with Texas chili after moving from NYC is still making the rounds, huh?



        A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

        The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

        "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

        His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

        "Ever since my wife found it in my truck."[/QUOTE]

        Comment
        • Shark79
          SBR Posting Legend
          • 11-19-07
          • 11211

          #5
          pretty funny stuff
          Comment
          • choking
            SBR Hustler
            • 03-07-08
            • 51

            #6
            How do you piss off an archeologist?

            Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
            Comment
            • Shark79
              SBR Posting Legend
              • 11-19-07
              • 11211

              #7
              choking ... those teeth look like they were literally pulled out and stuck on that bird ... fvking disgusting
              Comment
              • choking
                SBR Hustler
                • 03-07-08
                • 51

                #8
                Originally posted by Shark79
                choking ... those teeth look like they were literally pulled out and stuck on that bird ... fvking disgusting
                o rry?
                Comment
                • BeatTheJerk
                  BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                  • 08-19-07
                  • 31794

                  #9
                  2 married men sitting on a bench on Vday waiting for a bus, older man says to younger man what r u getting your wife for valentines day, young man says well i thought i'd get her a dozen roses and a box of chocolates, old man says not to shabby, so the young guy asks the older man what r u getting your wife for v day ? old man say well im gonna get the old hag a pair of slippers and a dildo ............ young says why u gonna get her a pair of slippers and a dildo ? old man says " well if she dont like the slippers she can go fuk herself !
                  Comment
                  • SBR Lou
                    BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                    • 08-02-07
                    • 37863

                    #10
                    Here's a funny one.

                    Originally posted by BeatTheJerk
                    Wager Type: Parlay (10 team)
                    Wager Status: Loss
                    Risk / To Win Amount: 100.00 / 102,785.91 (USD) Accepted 10/23/2007 9:29 PM - EST


                    Item #1
                    Wager Type: Money Line
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Boston College 10/25/2007 7:45:01 PM - (EST)
                    +138
                    Opponent: Virginia Tech

                    Item #2
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Air Force 10/25/2007 9:00:01 PM - (EST)
                    +6½ -110
                    Opponent: New Mexico

                    Item #3
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Connecticut 10/27/2007 12:00:01 PM - (EST)
                    +4½ -110
                    Opponent: South Florida

                    Item #4
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Loss
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Minnesota U 10/27/2007 3:30:01 PM - (EST)
                    +23½ -110
                    Opponent: Michigan

                    Item #5
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Mississippi 10/27/2007 6:00:01 PM - (EST)
                    +17½ -110
                    Opponent: Auburn

                    Item #6
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Kansas 10/27/2007 7:00:01 PM - (EST)
                    -2½ -110
                    Opponent: Texas A & M

                    Item #7
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Oregon 10/27/2007 3:00:01 PM - (EST)
                    -3 -110
                    Opponent: USC

                    Item #8
                    Wager Type: Money Line
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Arizona U 10/27/2007 3:30:01 PM - (EST)
                    +145
                    Opponent: Washington U

                    Item #9
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Eastern Michigan 10/27/2007 3:30:01 PM - (EST)
                    +5 -110
                    Opponent: Western Michigan

                    Item #10
                    Wager Type: Spread
                    Outcome: Win
                    Sport / Period: College Football / Game
                    Line:
                    Toledo 10/27/2007 7:00:01 PM - (EST)
                    -3½ -110
                    Opponent: Northern Illinois

                    I mean loosing a parlay by one game happens from time to time, but the way I lost this one. Its gonna hurt for alittle while mos def ......... my only loss minn +23.5 34 -10 michigan over minn, half a point, with a meaningless 85 yard touchdown run by the thrid string running back of michigan with roughly 3 min to play .........
                    Comment
                    • BeatTheJerk
                      BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                      • 08-19-07
                      • 31794

                      #11
                      thats some good as capping is what it is .............. 90 % winners PS hey crazyL if i see you in the street " i'll kill ya "
                      Comment
                      • SBR Lou
                        BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                        • 08-02-07
                        • 37863

                        #12
                        Just keeping you in check 'dawg'. Or should I say, "cabrone"..
                        Comment
                        • BeatTheJerk
                          BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                          • 08-19-07
                          • 31794

                          #13
                          yeah u can keep checking in on my winners on the best bet thread , thats what you need to do ya heard ! wise up heh
                          Comment
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