Top 10 ways of dealing with door to door religion peddlars.

[HotStreak]

I just hate it when my peaceful day of surfing the gambling forums is interrupted by an unexpected knock on the door. I hate it even more when I look into my security monitor and see a couple buttoned down, back pack toting, God sellers on my porch, waiting to offer me unsolicited salvation. I believe in God as I know him. Religion or lack of, is a personal decision. Keep it to yourself. Over the years, I have come up with many ways to deal with these zealots. Here is my top 10 list.

10. Let the dog loose.
9. Point shotgun through the mail slot. Poking gently into offenders balls.
8. Provide them a light refreshment laced with LSD then let the neighbors deal with it.
7. Send them away, then call the police to report some male prostitutes working the neighborhood.
6. "C'mon in guys. I was just smoking a joint and watching a porno!"
5. Engage them in a conversation. While they give their speech, slip a handful of heroin packets into their backpack. Call police to report seeing a couple clean cut strangers buying drugs next door.(Fuks the asshole neighbor too.)
4. Pretend to be foreign. Speak gibberish. Slam Door!
3. Listen for a while then send to your in laws house. Call in laws to tell them a couple guys just gave you some free buffet coupons for listening to their entire speech, your sending them over.
2. Do not get up from computer. Tell your wife to get the door.
1. Come to the door dressed as the devil.

[obamaismyuncle]

[obamaismyuncle]

just come to the door naked with a cowboy hat on and a beer in one hand and a joint in your mouth..

[OverUnder]

perfect

[HotStreak]

just come to the door naked with a cowboy hat on and a beer in one hand and a joint in your mouth..

LOL.

My religion prohibits me from being naked in public.

[obamaismyuncle]

[chilidog]

I live in a gated community with really good security. If I don't call the guard to let you know that you're coming, they don't let you in. They won't call me to see if it's okay. You just don't get in, and I don't know about it. So I never have unsolicited visitors, whatsoever. I love it.

[Cuse4tw]

one time i had just came in from outside after finishing a nice blunt...doorbell rings. a huge fat lady and a midget lady were at my door. selling bibles. i busted out laughing when they started talking and just shut the door.

i mean come on if your going to try and preach faith to me send two normal people not a whale and a minnow

[chilidog]

one time i had just came in from outside after finishing a nice blunt...doorbell rings. a huge fat lady and a midget lady were at my door. selling bibles. i busted out laughing when they started talking and just shut the door.

i mean come on if your going to try and preach faith to me send two normal people not a whale and a minnow

LOL. Except I don't know if I could have shut the door, after being burnt. I think I'd continue laughing and engage them.

[stealthyburrito]

this list is awesome, will use these suggestions some time. i like the drugging one, a lot!!

[Cuse4tw]

lol i apologized. i sat there for a few minutes with my friend discussing if that was a sin or not

[brooks85]

i used to have these jehova witness's they came to my door every few months for about 3 years. The first time they came it was hilarious, a van of them pulled in the driveway and I was sitting in the doorway of my newly constructed polebarn drinking. I would debate with the guy everytime he came to door. About 2 years ago now, one day i was just not feeling it and i told him i dont want him coming back and I havent seen him since.

[HotStreak]

i used to have these jehova witness's they came to my door every few months for about 3 years. The first time they came it was hilarious, a van of them pulled in the driveway and I was sitting in the doorway of my newly constructed polebarn drinking. I would debate with the guy everytime he came to door. About 2 years ago now, one day i was just not feeling it and i told him i dont want him coming back and I havent seen him since.

Cool.

If only telemarketers were that easy.

[HotStreak]

this list is awesome, will use these suggestions some time. i like the drugging one, a lot!!

It's a shame to waste the good stuff, but sometimes the end justifies the means.

[stevek173]

Ask them about where they live and give them the strong sell on taking out a mortgage (if they don't own give them the strong sell on taking out a purchase) get all of their info and then PM Stevek173 and I will throw you a bone

[JohnGalt2341]

I answer the door dressed like this:

Then I tell them that I'm very happy with my current religion.

[THE PROFIT]

I politely tell them I'm not interested

[Killer_Demo]

# 6 is what I would do

[mrmarket]

My father once took interest in two Jehovah Witnesses for some reason or other. I found them one day having lemon tea with him in the living room talking about some bible? (or whatever book they worship). They came back the next day and I opened the door for them. Luckily dad was a drunk and was passed out buck naked on the floor of the living room with half a big mac hanging out of his mouth. I asked if they wanted more tea but they said they had to go. He never heard from them again. So much for religious tolerance.

[JohnGalt2341]

My father once took interest in two Jehovah Witnesses for some reason or other. I found them one day having lemon tea with him in the living room talking about some bible? (or whatever book they worship). They came back the next day and I opened the door for them. Luckily dad was a drunk and was passed out buck naked on the floor of the living room with half a big mac hanging out of his mouth. I asked if they wanted more tea but they said they had to go. He never heard from them again. So much for religious tolerance.

Did your Dad ever bang Pamela Anderson? Anyway... tell your Dad I loved him on Knight Rider!

[stealthyburrito]

I politely tell them I'm not interested

dumb fukk, they'll never leave alone with politeness!

[mrmarket]

Did your Dad ever bang Pamela Anderson? Anyway... tell your Dad I loved him on Knight Rider!

There is a very low probability that he banged her. It is also not probable that he possessed the ability to morph into a car or the hoff. I would try asking his urn but it has never spoken to me nor has anyone religious shown me how to get a response from it.