These are all strictly from my experiences this weekend. What I can remember of them at least.
The Best Piece of SBR Swag
The backpack is awesome. Love it.
The Remember Who is Running the Show Here Award
To Mr. D. When Willie first began to speak on Saturday evening and a handful of people started hollering about not being able to hear him, Mr. D laid a verbal smackdown on the entire room that had us all sit up straight like a bunch of school kids. I found this highly entertaining for some reason.
The Lucky as Hell Award
To me for receiving the very last mystery envelope handout and finding a nice crisp $50 bill in there. I think I was just ahead of Becky and Andrew in line. Sorry bout that!
The Best Adam's Apple Award
For the black prostitute that tried to get Robyn and I back to (her?) room late Saturday night.
The Best Techie at SBR Award
Not Whitey.
Best Bash Entourage
Teela
The Quietest Guy Award
Crazy Lou. Who'da thunk it?
The You Couldn't Have Shown Up Two Minutes Later? Award
For Bettilimbroke999. By beating Evelyn Ng to the poker tourney by mere minutes, he took away the chance of her being seated between Payingthejuice and I. I would've "accidentally" brushed my arm against hers and never showered.
The Angriest Bash Attendee Award
To the guy at my poker table who argued with the dealer and fellow players on almost half of the hands that he was involved in. It's a freebie guy! Relax! If anyone knows who this is, please let me know. I think he's magical. Other than that I liked my table with Vegas Dave, Payingthejuice, JoshW, Pavy, LVHerbie and others.
Who was this guy and why was he so angry?? (next to Pavy)
The Craziest Guy in Vegas Award
This goes to the complete loon at the Nugget sportsbook who walked up to me and wanted to fight me because of my t-shirt. I'm glad I had 4 witnesses for this because it was so absurd and random that no one would've ever believed it.
The YOU SUCK Award
Southwest Airlines. You really suck and your CEO is into bestiality.
Excerpt from Southwest's CEO on their plane magazine
The Most Uncomfortable 10 Minutes of my Life Award
Ask Bill Dozer about it. He was there.
The Honorary Bread & Amby Professional Drinker Award
20Four7. This guy can throw them back. And it was always something different. At one point he had a giant cup shaped like a football with something fruity in it. This award would go to Madmaxx, but I don't want to encourage him as I think he might actually have a serious problem, lol.
The Your Secret is Safe with Me Award
You know who you are. And your secret is safe with me
The How Did I Never Bump Into You Award
Bob Harvey, where were you???
The Best Sense of Humor Award
To Ms. Nevada. When I asked her to give herself a black eye on her head shots she was signing for guests, and write "I'm sorry" she never hesitated. This was actually one of the highlights of my trip.
I'm a violent sleeper, honest!
The Did He REALLY Just Tell a M*A*S*H Joke?? Award
I've seen tons of stand-up comedy in my day, and I'm sorry, but Hiroshima didn't bomb as badly as David Gee did on Saturday night. The good news is that it was so awful, that I really started to enjoy it. Kinda like watching old Steven Seagal movies. The other good news is that I heard he was reimbursed with a signed Ms. Nevada head shot and Loshak's jockstrap.
Still not funny
The Poster in Best Shape Award
The Hoff. Way to make 95% of the room want to join a gym. I'm going to stay on his good side.
The Most Random Taxi Ride Award
As a testament to the pure randomness of the weekend, at some point I found myself in a taxi with Cappy, Reno Cool and Ricky Steve. I'm not quite sure how that even happened. At one point I accidentally called Cappy "Caddy" and I think he was offended. Sorry about that buddy. Day 3 of binge drinking can create a few slip ups.
The Worst Decision Award
Casperwaits. After some of the stories I heard, you might want to re-evaluate your decision to move to Vegas. I'm worried about you pally.
The Poorest Showing Award
This easily goes to Iwinyourmoney on Friday. Poor guy went to his room to clean up for the meet and greet, never showed up and woke up at 2am with his hand in a bag of chips. Terrible.
The Brett Favre Indecisive Award
Durito. At least Favre showed up
The Guy who Looks the Least Like his Avatar Award
Gotta go to 20Four7.
The Guy who is Nothing Like his Posting Persona Award
Diogee. What a maniac. I love him.
The We Probably had a Better Night Than You Did Award
FlyingIllini, Jungle Man & Rogue Juror
The Newest Member of Bread's Top Canadian List Recipient
Never talked to PuckOff before, but super cool guy. Top this with the fact that Plommer and Fiveteamer couldn't be bothered to answer or return anyone's calls, and there will be some serious shuffling on my obsolete list in the near future.
The You Were Made for Each Other Award
Ganchrow and Jenbird. What a couple of nuts. Lots of fun and never a dull moment.
The How Directionally Challenged Can You Be Award
To Bodog Becky and myself. We spent about 10 minutes walking around the Nugget casino looking for the spot to meet everyone at that we just walked away from to find the restroom. We bumped into Mr. D three times and I'm sure by the confused looks on our faces as we wandered through a sea of slot machines, he was really impressed.
The I Might Give Some Money to that Book Award
To Bodog. Both Becky and Andrew were great to hang out with on Saturday. I realize that this alone is not a reason to play with anyone, but it is a start. It could've been worse, I could've been stuck hanging out with Mofo and Shrink.
The Closest Brush with Death Award
My encounter with Randy Couture. I wasn't scared of the fact that he could snap me in half with little effort at all. No, the true terror happened when I came within inches of his cauliflowered ears. SCARY!
Funniest Poster Award
Peter Loshak
Best Looking Poster Award
Peter Loshak
All Loshak, all the time
My Favorite Foreigners
Jungle Man, Matty Rain and Sharky. Some truly cool guys that I consider friends. I'd add Roguey Juror, but he tried to shank me in the Binion's restroom.
The Best Money Spent Award
That would be the $50 that I had to give to Pavy for showing up. He was pretty quiet on Friday. I think he was amazed at how truly retarded the lot of us were in person, but he still hungout the entire night. On Saturday he was much more in his element and was a lot of fun.
The Coolest Poster Award
Happy Boy is the epitome of cool. Just a laid back guy who always seems like a good time. Happy Girl was awesome as well.
The Brandon Vera Lookalike Award
Junkyard Dog
JYD Vera
The Anderson Cooper Lookalike Award
Mr. D.
The You Got Me Award
Peep
The I'm Glad you Didn't Shoot me Award
Pimike
The I Finally Made It Award
I walked into a rowdy bar at Harrah's with a handful of escort girl cards that I collected from the Mexicans. I then "made it rain" Vegas escort girl cards up in da club. I finally made it.
The Best Taxi Driver Award
The Muslim guy who was driving around The Hoff, his girl and I, and told me that we would never go to the same place in the afterlife. That was mean, but he let me get my picture with him anyway.
The It's Probably Time to Go to Bed Award
1. Amby, Blitty, Bread, Matty Rain & MonkeyF0cker. Oh and stop dropping beers on the sidewalk. It's daylight for Christ's sake.
2. Bread, Loshak & Robyn. Your planes are literally leaving in a couple of hours and black tranny hookers are trying to proposition you. Time to leave the bar.
Hide your alcohol
The Great Show Award
To SBR. Mr D, John, Dozer, Willie, and all other mods and staff who made this happen. Just a great time and done up right. Take a few days to recover, and then it's back to the neverending quest to break the books.
The Best Piece of SBR Swag
The backpack is awesome. Love it.
The Remember Who is Running the Show Here Award
To Mr. D. When Willie first began to speak on Saturday evening and a handful of people started hollering about not being able to hear him, Mr. D laid a verbal smackdown on the entire room that had us all sit up straight like a bunch of school kids. I found this highly entertaining for some reason.
The Lucky as Hell Award
To me for receiving the very last mystery envelope handout and finding a nice crisp $50 bill in there. I think I was just ahead of Becky and Andrew in line. Sorry bout that!
The Best Adam's Apple Award
For the black prostitute that tried to get Robyn and I back to (her?) room late Saturday night.
The Best Techie at SBR Award
Not Whitey.
Best Bash Entourage
Teela
The Quietest Guy Award
Crazy Lou. Who'da thunk it?
The You Couldn't Have Shown Up Two Minutes Later? Award
For Bettilimbroke999. By beating Evelyn Ng to the poker tourney by mere minutes, he took away the chance of her being seated between Payingthejuice and I. I would've "accidentally" brushed my arm against hers and never showered.
The Angriest Bash Attendee Award
To the guy at my poker table who argued with the dealer and fellow players on almost half of the hands that he was involved in. It's a freebie guy! Relax! If anyone knows who this is, please let me know. I think he's magical. Other than that I liked my table with Vegas Dave, Payingthejuice, JoshW, Pavy, LVHerbie and others.
Who was this guy and why was he so angry?? (next to Pavy)
The Craziest Guy in Vegas Award
This goes to the complete loon at the Nugget sportsbook who walked up to me and wanted to fight me because of my t-shirt. I'm glad I had 4 witnesses for this because it was so absurd and random that no one would've ever believed it.
The YOU SUCK Award
Southwest Airlines. You really suck and your CEO is into bestiality.
Excerpt from Southwest's CEO on their plane magazine
The Most Uncomfortable 10 Minutes of my Life Award
Ask Bill Dozer about it. He was there.
The Honorary Bread & Amby Professional Drinker Award
20Four7. This guy can throw them back. And it was always something different. At one point he had a giant cup shaped like a football with something fruity in it. This award would go to Madmaxx, but I don't want to encourage him as I think he might actually have a serious problem, lol.
The Your Secret is Safe with Me Award
You know who you are. And your secret is safe with me
The How Did I Never Bump Into You Award
Bob Harvey, where were you???
The Best Sense of Humor Award
To Ms. Nevada. When I asked her to give herself a black eye on her head shots she was signing for guests, and write "I'm sorry" she never hesitated. This was actually one of the highlights of my trip.
I'm a violent sleeper, honest!
The Did He REALLY Just Tell a M*A*S*H Joke?? Award
I've seen tons of stand-up comedy in my day, and I'm sorry, but Hiroshima didn't bomb as badly as David Gee did on Saturday night. The good news is that it was so awful, that I really started to enjoy it. Kinda like watching old Steven Seagal movies. The other good news is that I heard he was reimbursed with a signed Ms. Nevada head shot and Loshak's jockstrap.
Still not funny
The Poster in Best Shape Award
The Hoff. Way to make 95% of the room want to join a gym. I'm going to stay on his good side.
The Most Random Taxi Ride Award
As a testament to the pure randomness of the weekend, at some point I found myself in a taxi with Cappy, Reno Cool and Ricky Steve. I'm not quite sure how that even happened. At one point I accidentally called Cappy "Caddy" and I think he was offended. Sorry about that buddy. Day 3 of binge drinking can create a few slip ups.
The Worst Decision Award
Casperwaits. After some of the stories I heard, you might want to re-evaluate your decision to move to Vegas. I'm worried about you pally.
The Poorest Showing Award
This easily goes to Iwinyourmoney on Friday. Poor guy went to his room to clean up for the meet and greet, never showed up and woke up at 2am with his hand in a bag of chips. Terrible.
The Brett Favre Indecisive Award
Durito. At least Favre showed up
The Guy who Looks the Least Like his Avatar Award
Gotta go to 20Four7.
The Guy who is Nothing Like his Posting Persona Award
Diogee. What a maniac. I love him.
The We Probably had a Better Night Than You Did Award
FlyingIllini, Jungle Man & Rogue Juror
The Newest Member of Bread's Top Canadian List Recipient
Never talked to PuckOff before, but super cool guy. Top this with the fact that Plommer and Fiveteamer couldn't be bothered to answer or return anyone's calls, and there will be some serious shuffling on my obsolete list in the near future.
The You Were Made for Each Other Award
Ganchrow and Jenbird. What a couple of nuts. Lots of fun and never a dull moment.
The How Directionally Challenged Can You Be Award
To Bodog Becky and myself. We spent about 10 minutes walking around the Nugget casino looking for the spot to meet everyone at that we just walked away from to find the restroom. We bumped into Mr. D three times and I'm sure by the confused looks on our faces as we wandered through a sea of slot machines, he was really impressed.
The I Might Give Some Money to that Book Award
To Bodog. Both Becky and Andrew were great to hang out with on Saturday. I realize that this alone is not a reason to play with anyone, but it is a start. It could've been worse, I could've been stuck hanging out with Mofo and Shrink.
The Closest Brush with Death Award
My encounter with Randy Couture. I wasn't scared of the fact that he could snap me in half with little effort at all. No, the true terror happened when I came within inches of his cauliflowered ears. SCARY!
Funniest Poster Award
Peter Loshak
Best Looking Poster Award
Peter Loshak
All Loshak, all the time
My Favorite Foreigners
Jungle Man, Matty Rain and Sharky. Some truly cool guys that I consider friends. I'd add Roguey Juror, but he tried to shank me in the Binion's restroom.
The Best Money Spent Award
That would be the $50 that I had to give to Pavy for showing up. He was pretty quiet on Friday. I think he was amazed at how truly retarded the lot of us were in person, but he still hungout the entire night. On Saturday he was much more in his element and was a lot of fun.
The Coolest Poster Award
Happy Boy is the epitome of cool. Just a laid back guy who always seems like a good time. Happy Girl was awesome as well.
The Brandon Vera Lookalike Award
Junkyard Dog
JYD Vera
The Anderson Cooper Lookalike Award
Mr. D.
The You Got Me Award
Peep
The I'm Glad you Didn't Shoot me Award
Pimike
The I Finally Made It Award
I walked into a rowdy bar at Harrah's with a handful of escort girl cards that I collected from the Mexicans. I then "made it rain" Vegas escort girl cards up in da club. I finally made it.
The Best Taxi Driver Award
The Muslim guy who was driving around The Hoff, his girl and I, and told me that we would never go to the same place in the afterlife. That was mean, but he let me get my picture with him anyway.
The It's Probably Time to Go to Bed Award
1. Amby, Blitty, Bread, Matty Rain & MonkeyF0cker. Oh and stop dropping beers on the sidewalk. It's daylight for Christ's sake.
2. Bread, Loshak & Robyn. Your planes are literally leaving in a couple of hours and black tranny hookers are trying to proposition you. Time to leave the bar.
Hide your alcohol
The Great Show Award
To SBR. Mr D, John, Dozer, Willie, and all other mods and staff who made this happen. Just a great time and done up right. Take a few days to recover, and then it's back to the neverending quest to break the books.
