- Offer the odds. If you're the bookie, and you're smart, you don't lose.
- This ain't gambling. It's business.
- Play with other peoples money, for a percentage. This technique used successfully by stockbrokers for years.
- This ain't gambling. It's touting.
- Fix the race/stack the deck/bribe the pugilist. Be careful to avoid the law.
- This ain't gambling; it's theft.
- Give up smoking, gamble what you save. You might not get rich, but you'll live poor longer, and you will end up a little richer than you were when you smoked.
- This ain't gambling; it's a public service announcement.
- Don't race horses, dogs or pigeons. They can all go faster than you and some of them bite.
- This ain't gambling. It's veterinary science.
- Only gamble what you can afford to lose. Because you will. One day.
- Already covered in the patterns above.
- If you can't spot the sucker at the table, it's you