Originally Posted by
KVB
I'm feeling like an idiot for even considering this whole thing.
Health not good, RF maybe not successful.
I'm very frustrated and this whole has only cost me money. I don't think I can move forward.
We're going over things now, but it doesn't look good. I have a registered company in CA that is doing nothing but costing money. There is a minimum tax of $800 just to be registered, whether you go in business or not. Not to mention fines and possibly out right losing the corp because I have submitted nothing to the Sec of State.
Mentally, I am not in it at all.
I'm already meeting with surgeons next week.
Instead of getting better, I am worse than a year ago.
Only this time, there is no relief in sight, no hopeful answer or procedure to cling to. Meanwhile, while still dealing with neuritis along with some pain we were supposed to burn away, I forced a cold turkey quit of pain killers...the strong ones.
Knee deep in the shit now and it only gets deeper, I'm only two days into what will be at least a 2 week withdrawal.
They offered more pain killers, I politely told them to fuk off.
I am not a happy camper, and feel a bit failed here, again, by the system.
All of life is a gamble, and this year, with three trips to the RF table, there were three major mistakes, causing delays and problems. These procedures cost me thousands of dollars as medical insurance was working fast enough.
Starting to lose faith in the one thing that kept me going.
The situation is not good, I've lost more than 10% of my weight in the last couple of weeks. That's not good considering I was already under weight to begin with at less than 150 lbs. Take another 10% that we can't even figure out where it came from.
The only thing I accomplish each day is the bare minimum posting of plays, nothing more. I don't even eat anymore.
This isn't just a response to CashFlow. The reason I rarely post anymore isn't just because SBR is shithole from top to bottom, though that was a big part of it.
Shit, I finished all the results of everything from last week on Sunday, they're just sitting, waiting to be posted. What is today? Thursday? Sorry.
Debating whether to even hit submit on this post, feeling defeated here.
But then again, when you are withdrawing from Perks, you feel all sorts of things on a daily basis.
Maybe I just need more time.