Cuse, check in

[reigle9]

Just had a blackout flashback, you know how that works.

Something triggered this memory, last I remember you posting, you said you were gonna drink. Hated it then, scared now.

[RudyRuetigger]

im gonna post in this thread so you get some replies

otherwise this thread would be dead as jjs pecker

[reigle9]

a minute didnt go by before you posted

you post shit like this in jerkoff bangledish -.5 goal threads

i'm legit concerned for him as i don't remember him posting since, this isn't about you rudy

[RudyRuetigger]

a minute didnt go by before you posted

you post shit like this in jerkoff bangledish -.5 goal threads

i'm legit concerned for him as i don't remember him posting since, this isn't about you rudy

wow

did you post a dinner or a country when you said bangle dish?

[reigle9]

spelling brown counties incorrectly is about as american as it gets Rudy, get it the fukk together

[RudyRuetigger]

i told you id be the only one to check in this dumbass thread

if anyone else does, its to spite me or some secondary comment off of the main thread title


just let it die bro

thread sucks

dont blame me for that

[reigle9]

rudy, you take internetting too seriously

on a scale of 1-10, how much do you think i was looking for replies or for cuse to check in? this is 2+2 water is wet democrat shit, settle the fukk down

drink another piss water

[jjgold]

Reigle stop drinking man

Your a good kid

[reigle9]

jj stfu, i only started a few hours ago

so nobody cares cuse is likely dead? cool

[Cuse0323]

I haven’t got drunk since January 25th. Got put into a mental hospital for 4 days. Some Baker Act shit down here in Florida. Granted I had a knife on me and said I was gonna off myself I guess. Pussbag shit. Not my best hour. I’m falling into the attention seeking catergory these days. Really I just didn’t expect to be around still so I’m at a loss on what to do. Oh well.

Had one drink two days ago, but the booze is all locked up now. Was at .44 in the hospital, didn’t drink for like 5 hours and didn’t drink anything close to what I used to. Doesn’t make sense. Liver may still be shot and having trouble with the booze. I went in cause I felt like I was withdrawaling. They obviously didn’t agree.

Plan was to fly back to the Cuse but ran outta booze, freaked out and ended up doing that stint. Would be living in the shelter, so all good. Florida sucks. I’m still alive and well though.

Huh. This thread was when I had been back for a few days. Must just not have posted. Who knows. I can’t remember shit these days, even sober. I do know sobriety sucks dick but I’m good on drinking. It’s no good for me. Still wanna get high. Badly. It makes everything so much better, and me a better person. No joke.

[Cuse0323]

im gonna post in this thread so you get some replies

otherwise this thread would be dead as jjs pecker

I’m hurt, Rudy. Thinking no one will care about ole Cuser. Well, you were right. No worries. It’s like the girl who cried wolf or whatever. Happens so much with me that it has to be shrugged off these days. I thought you were lobbying for me to win DOTY. Lost again. I didn’t deserve it for 2018 though so all good. Congrats again.

[Cuse0323]

jj stfu, i only started a few hours ago

so nobody cares cuse is likely dead? cool

Too much of me saying I’m gonna die. It got old, I’m sure.

[reigle9]

Too much of me saying I’m gonna die. It got old, I’m sure.

Beer drunks don't understand how close death is fairly often.

[Cuse0323]

Beer drunks don't understand how close death is fairly often.

True. Beer drunks struggle to realize many things. Especially how deadly booze is. Tough to even be a true alcoholic off of beer. Most of my family are beer drinkers. They all got up and went to work everyday no problem. Wish I just kept drinking at the end of 2017 when I was all fcked up. Drinking myself to death all these years, then I gave up when the plan was finally coming to fruition. My body didn’t help me out though. The self preservation of the brain and body is some tough shit to beat.

[reigle9]

Lol I drink Sunday night or Monday morning so I'm recovered for work Thursday. Usually still sick today and have to struggle through doing laundry and securing food for work. Fukin great not still being hungover today.

[Cuse0323]

You done drinking for now? Or just get lucky this week? I definitely don’t miss the fckin hangovers. Worse than ever now. I only drank for four days this time. Felt like death while having a .44. Did go pretty hard for four days. Blacked out most of it. Said some terrible things to family. Lucky they let me back.

Can’t do it to myself anymore. The anxiety is unbearable. It doesn’t even go away when I’m wasted. Pretty sure my liver is still shot and my body gets pissed at me. Not sure when alcoholic hepatitis goes away.

Hopefully that means you stopped or slowed down. Shit just isn’t fun anymore for me. You already know.

[reigle9]

yeah, for the week, no way i could drink the day before work...just drank all of monday and was hungover yesterday, it was pretty rough in the morning but pot helps immensely

week before i drank a fifth on an empty stomach, spent the night chugging water and immediately violently vomiting it up, fukked up my entire head, couldnt swallow/eat the next day, my sinuses were all blown out, i'd try to swallow and it would feel like it would get stuck in my sinuses and burn like crazy...that took about a week to fully recover from, im still not even 100% with the swallowing but pretty much

the withdrawal anxiety is def unbearable, esp when you have real things to have anxiety about and not just your dehydrated brain going insane...but i think i almost have those things cleared up, at least soon...what a fukkin nightmare having anxiety while drinking, i care about nothing during

def had to slow down with the job...i'll never stop, everything is boring sober

[Cuse0323]

I hear that. I don’t wanna live sober. Bored outta my mind. Booze won the war against me though. If I drink again, it’ll be when I know I won’t have to stop ever again, or I have a boatload of benzos. I’m done withdrawaling off the shit.

At least you’re smart enough to know your limits for the most part. I’d just say fck it and drink at work. I can’t imagine dealing with the anxiety when I actually had real things to worry about. Instead my brain is just a cokk smoker that tells me I’m freaking out. About what. Freaking out. Makes sense. Even if I eat well, take vitamins, and drink plenty of water.

Doesn’t help that I buy a liter or a handle and can’t stop until it’s gone. Not sure why I can still drink like I’m in the depths of my alcoholism. I was given a worthless skill of being a fckin tank. Nothing can kill me. Rather be a lightweight beer drinker. Or the guy who ODs from fckin sniffing drugs. I quit fentanyl for two months then shoot up like old times, hoping for death and don’t even get high. Unreal.

[reigle9]

ha fukk, i was definitely messaging people for a benzo the morning after i was vomiting...i have to explain what it is and say your mom or gram probably has them lol, i only need 1 or 2 of them to KO me for a day and settle my racing heart

my friend tells me "i don't know how you still drink like you do", me neither bro, me neither

i understand the tolerance thing for sure, obv not on the dope level, but people at work (well the 2 that know) dont understand how i can smoke all day and work, i prob go through about 3g a day just there...it's the only way i can cope, i'd def blow my brains out in like the first 10 mins sober

[Cuse0323]

Benzos are the greatest invention ever. Nothing beats being completely stress free. If I could be on one drug the rest of my life it would be a benzo. One of them strong fckers that only have use in sedating an elephant or executing inmates.

Girls who don’t even need them and just sell them get them by the truckload. My mom gets them for being slightly uncomfortable flying. I still can’t convince one doctor to give me any. Shit would transform my life. Well not really. I’ve bought plenty before and just lived a stress free lazy life. Still, it’d help. I get it though. My own fault.

Still can’t smoke. One thing I have no tolerance for. Good work on my brain, God. Prick. Can’t even blow my brains out either. Pretty sure I’m on some list they were telling me about, that the doctor could place me on if he thinks I shouldn’t be able to purchase a gun. Luckily, I’m a criminal and could find one anyway. Dipshits. They gave me my knife back when I was discharged. Could have offed myself in the parking lot.

[reigle9]

"Luckily, I’m a criminal and could find one anyway. Dipshits."

[Cuse0323]

Might as well go out with a bang. Buy myself an arsenal off the street and make a public showing of it all. Shove it to the libtards on the way out.

‘If only we had better mental health care...’

‘Oh wait, he was banned for being a nut job, never mind.’

I guess they’d go with...’well if there weren’t so many guns being bought legally then there wouldn’t be so many on the street illegally...blah, blah. I’m a Liberal fck wad and guns are bad.’

[gauchojake]

Good luck guys. Hope you find what you're looking for.

[Cuse0323]

Good luck guys. Hope you find what you're looking for.

Thanks, Jake. Maybe someday.

[reigle9]

Good luck guys. Hope you find what you're looking for.

im fine bro

[Cuse0323]

Just take the mans well wishes. Jaker good people. I wish I remembered more of what we talked about. He’s got good insight into the life.

[reigle9]

i havent remembered anything since about 2002

[Cuse0323]

Think I faded off in ‘05. Came back in ‘09 for the worst year of life then didn’t wake up until late ‘17. Was thinking about blackouts since you mentioned em. That shit makes me cringe now. People have memories of shit that I did, that I’ll never know. Shits fcked up. People won’t even tell me about my worst night.

[gauchojake]

Just take the mans well wishes. Jaker good people. I wish I remembered more of what we talked about. He’s got good insight into the life.

All good man- I can't remember what I did yesterday. I just talk bullshit when I'm here anyways.

[pablo222]

Fitting that you had a .44 at the hospital. Hope things work out for you.

[Cuse0323]

Fitting that you had a .44 at the hospital. Hope things work out for you.

And that was your 44th post.



Thanks man.