Secrets to Tournament Domination

[Lowly Oaftard]

Anyone else find it embarrassing that a nonpro even plays poker? Might as well play that fagass janga poker if you're going to waste your time.

Congratulations on a well played game tonight ! Better luck next time.

[Lowly Oaftard]

Lowly ---------------------------------------------------------------
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[ATTACH]65636[/ATTACH]

I wish I looked HALF that VIBRANT and ALIVE! You wouldn't BELIEVE the toll 11 MILLION HANDS PLAYED takes on your COMPLEXION. I have A FEELING my DIET is about to take a TURN FOR THE WORSE also. I'm going to be eating a lot of FREE PIZZA.

[Lowly Oaftard]

just tried it doesn't work. The cards fall in this program to knock people out so that it doesn't go over time and so that the tables will be even. shift nothing

Make sure you depress the key FULLY, and don't hit it MULTIPLE times. This creates a redundancy VORTEX in the RNG and can actually hurt your CHANCES OF VICTORY.

[Lowly Oaftard]

Hate to burst YOUR bubble oafy, but your tournament wins are MEANINGLESS...I KNOW for a fact that you were doing NOTHING on your own, colluding with every other PLAYER on the table (don't lie NOW) to have them SHOVE their bad hands (j6 OFF) into you to make you in. I even have the hand histories to prove it!

Yes, it was QUITE SIMPLE to convince everyone in FOUR DIFFERENT TOURNAMENTS to give me a WALK. Obviously, this is PREPOSTEROUS. Please pipe down with your ACCUSATIONS good sir. And since you were in at least one of those tourneys at one of my tables, it would also IMPLICATE you as a CONSPIRATOR in said COLLUSION. Take the FIFTH AMENDMENT and walk away from this ONE, TRIPLE D BET. A scandal like this COULD BACKFIRE in your FACE.

[Lowly Oaftard]

I love the mix of ALL CAPS and normal TEXT mix...
So where do WE all make out the CHECK to?

Thank YOU for the compliment. I think it an EFFECTIVE STYLE of emphasizing KEY CONCEPTS while being limited by the constraints of a TEXT BASED interface.

[Lowly Oaftard]

11 MILLION HANDS PLAYED

If I were you guys, I'd be asking questions.

OVER 11 MILLION. Don't sell my AMBITIOUS EFFORT short.

[Lowly Oaftard]

congrats oafer

Thank YOU JuicedUp. You are a SCHOLAR and a gentleman. Good luck to you in your WAGERS and at THE tables.

[Triple_D_Bet]

Yes, it was QUITE SIMPLE to convince everyone in FOUR DIFFERENT TOURNAMENTS to give me a WALK. Obviously, this is PREPOSTEROUS. Please pipe down with your ACCUSATIONS good sir. And since you were in at least one of those tourneys at one of my tables, it would also IMPLICATE you as a CONSPIRATOR in said COLLUSION. Take the FIFTH AMENDMENT and walk away from this ONE, TRIPLE D BET. A scandal like this COULD BACKFIRE in your FACE.

It might seem as implausible as a keyboard shortcut to rigging flops, but it's just as accurate I assure you. As I said, I have the hand histories to prove it, there can be no doubt!

[Mitchell88]

Is the bath salt problem really this bad?

[levski2006]

lolol

[daneblazer]

I've discovered if you LIMP call a SHOVE and type the card you need on the keyboard, it will come home approximately 75 PERCENT of the time. For example if blinds are 10/20, you LIMP in with Ac4c then when a no1here jams on you with his 1500 stack for a 50 chip pot, CALL. Once you SEE the FLOP is 3c 5c Xx you must TYPE "2c2c2c2c2c" REPETITIVELY. There's a CHANCE it will be a 2 and a CHANCE it will be CLUB. BUT it does NOT work if you do not LIMP then call the SHOVE.

[Auto Donk]

I've found that if you squeeze your right ball while hitting a blunt when u shove it all in with jj, u lose 100 percent of the time!

[BeerDog99]

I've discovered if you LIMP call a SHOVE and type the card you need on the keyboard, it will come home approximately 75 PERCENT of the time. For example if blinds are 10/20, you LIMP in with Ac4c then when a no1here jams on you with his 1500 stack for a 50 chip pot, CALL. Once you SEE the FLOP is 3c 5c Xx you must TYPE "2c2c2c2c2c" REPETITIVELY. There's a CHANCE it will be a 2 and a CHANCE it will be CLUB. BUT it does NOT work if you do not LIMP then call the SHOVE.

LOL the LIMP call a SHOVE is my FAV play.

[eberetta1]

Where have I seen Oaftard type results before? Oh yes, every newbie at this forum have these type of results until they hit 100 posts. Then the newbie switch gets turned off. Better quit posting Oaf, you are going to take away your +EV.
Imagine how much money would be in your bankroll if you averaged just a1 penny win for the 11 million Bovada hands you have played.

[yisman]

I've discovered if you LIMP call a SHOVE and type the card you need on the keyboard, it will come home approximately 75 PERCENT of the time. For example if blinds are 10/20, you LIMP in with Ac4c then when a no1here jams on you with his 1500 stack for a 50 chip pot, CALL. Once you SEE the FLOP is 3c 5c Xx you must TYPE "2c2c2c2c2c" REPETITIVELY. There's a CHANCE it will be a 2 and a CHANCE it will be CLUB. BUT it does NOT work if you do not LIMP then call the SHOVE.

[daneblazer]

Imagine how much money would be in your bankroll if you averaged just a1 penny win for the 11 million Bovada hands you have played.

well if you never touched it, at least $110,000

[mikejamm]

Oafer wins ANOTHER one. Time to listen up fellas

See! What did I tell you! He followed my brown nose strategy tips! And won again!

[mikejamm]

I can't believe you guys are actually buying this "left key" bullshit! How big a fuk'in sap would you have to be to believe this newbie douche bag! The only damn reason he's winning is because his points aren't worth jack shit unless he turns pro and it's a fuk'in rigged bait program that sbr uses to entice new dip shits like him into turning Pro by thinking he's some kind of poker player at a rigged shit hole like this!

He Lowly Oaftard, go fuk yourself and your bullshit attention whoring thread. Turn pro big mouth and then see how far your luck runs. Probably a fuk'in ghost sbr employee anyway.

Not to mention, SBR took it up the ass points wise during the super bowl and the only real option, besides that bullshit casino, for them to get some back is to let non pros win tourneys and fuk over pros at ring games! Same old tired shit as it always been!

[mikejamm]

Where have I seen Oaftard type results before? Oh yes, every newbie at this forum have these type of results until they hit 100 posts. Then the newbie switch gets turned off. Better quit posting Oaf, you are going to take away your +EV.
Imagine how much money would be in your bankroll if you averaged just a1 penny win for the 11 million Bovada hands you have played.

Exactly, finally somebody with some true insight and intelligence as to what the fuk is really going on! And Eberetta, myself as well as others have seen this same bullshit played out over and over again. You would thing sbr wouldn't make it so fuk'in blatantly obvious, but what the fuk do they care, non pro points don't mean shit to them.

[mikejamm]

I've found that if you squeeze your right ball while hitting a blunt when u shove it all in with jj, u lose 100 percent of the time!

Tried it! Fuk'in jacks got rivered every time!

[bobbywaves]

Turn pro big mouth and then see how far your luck runs.

He's pro big mouth, so we'll see.

[pavyracer]

Once you turn Pro you get a bad beat 9 out of 10 times.

[a4u2fear]

OP, does this work only for hold Em? Or Omaha too? Do you type in Peyton Mannings name in the chat box before moving all in in Omaha to improve odds? Do the dealers like that?

[yisman]

OP, does this work only for hold Em? Or Omaha too? Do you type in Peyton Mannings name in the chat box before moving all in in Omaha to improve odds? Do the dealers like that?

It DOES WORK, but you have to type in his FULL NAME while on the CLOCK and before clicking to go ALL IN.

There's a reason PEYTON MANNING is said to be unbeatable at OMAHA online. He knows.

[Wulfman14]

Build a huge roll like yisman and scare people with big raises , and shit hands

of of course this won't work though.

In the words of the illustrious Milwaukee mike " yisman runs so good "

[yisman]

I run TERRIBLE. I am NOWHERE to be found on the LEADERBOARD. I will have to start employing some SPECIAL TRICKS.

In the words of everyone, milwaukee mike runs so good.

[Auto Donk]

lowly is definitely on to something... I started experiencing with various keys.... hit the page down button twice at the start of the deal, before your cards come in, and you get qq or kk; hit the cap lock button three times, you get ten jack suited or 89 suited. Hit the insert key three times, and the person to your immediate left gets 72 or 92, and the guy two over from you gets k3 or q5.

[Triple_D_Bet]

lowly is definitely on to something... I started experiencing with various keys.... hit the page down button twice at the start of the deal, before your cards come in, and you get qq or kk; hit the cap lock button three times, you get ten jack suited or 89 suited. Hit the insert key three times, and the person to your immediate left gets 72 or 92, and the guy two over from you gets k3 or q5.

The only one I've observed only works for the main site, but it works damn near every time: hit the F5 button, and another person exposes themselves as clueless

[pavyracer]

You can bash LOT all you want but his techniques nailed me two cashes this week and doubled my rollovers at the tables this weekend.

He is a poker angel sent from heaven for me.

Thank you LOT a lot!

[jonal]

yee-hawww

[Triple_D_Bet]

The only one I've observed only works for the main site, but it works damn near every time: hit the F5 button, and another person exposes themselves as clueless

Damn, SBR must have patched up the shortcut...now every time I hit F5 I just see Pavy being his usual clueless self, not as entertaining

[rickie65]

OP, does this work only for hold Em? Or Omaha too? Do you type in Peyton Mannings name in the chat box before moving all in in Omaha to improve odds? Do the dealers like that?

SWEET!! I typed IN Peyton mannings NAME and a papa johns PIZZA showed up at my door

[rickie65]

and...if you unscramble LOWLY OAFTARD it spells FAT LARD LOOEY. hmmm, do we know anyone at SBR named looey or lou? I smell a conspiracy

[hockey216]

if u have secrets to domination, then come try to dominate me heads up. im at 10/20

[sinmiedo]

if u have secrets to domination, then come try to dominate me heads up. im at 10/20

it will never happen. he will avoid you Bite Mpascall Wolf Tadd Boscokid ,that are all good ring players.