Pol Incorrect Humor: Best Time to Drive the LA Freeways

[ritehook]

Heard this about 20 years ago. Sprung it at a weekend party, no blacks there but a few Mexicans and Jews. The latter two groups laughed the loudest.

WHAT IS THE BEST TIME TO DRIVE ON THE CRAZY LOS ANGELES FREEWAYS?

Sunday morning. Alll the whites are in church, all the blacks are in jail, the Jews are in Palm Springs, and the Mexicans can't get their cars started.

[ritehook]

Any kind of societal suppresssion, whether legally or morally enforced, gives rise to some good humor.

Lenny Bruce and the guy who just died -what's his name, witht he 7 words you can't say on TV.

Perfect examples.

As is Jackie Mason. I caught his show when in New York in ths spring, The Ultimate Jew. I think he's on the road with it now. Old guy, but very funny. And politically incorrect.

[smitch124]

George Carlin

[ritehook]

George Carlin

Right, I came back to post it but you sniped me!

[Willie Bee]

There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:

• 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
  
• 2 French men and 1 French woman
  
• 2 German men and 1 German woman
  
• 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
  
• 2 English men and 1 English woman
  
• 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
  
• 2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
  
• 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month after being stranded, this is what happened:

• One of the Italian men killed the other for the Italian woman
  
• The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage à trois
  
• The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman
  
• The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them
  
• The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman
  
• The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the woman and started swimming.
  
• The two Swedish men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own and the true nature of feminism. But at least it's not snowing and the taxes are low.
  
• The Irish began by dividing their island Northside-Southside and setting up a distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the picture, cause it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut-whiskey, but at least they know the English aren't getting any.

[pico]

"oh, i love to go to a jewish wedding and get raised high on the chair because i always wanted to know what it is like to be a top jew." -stewie

[pico]

"good job cleveland, you went from a black wife to a white girlfirend without a hispanic in between." --louis

[teaserpleaser]

"good job cleveland, you went from a black wife to a white girlfirend without a hispanic in between." --louis

I was watching that one now that was some funny shit

[Willie Bee]

A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asked the bartender.

"Anything but a Canadian Club," replied the seal.

[Mudcat]

groooooooooooaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn.

[Willie Bee]

Things you don't want to do in the nude.

10. Fry bacon
9. Arc weld
8. Bathe a cat
7. Operate a snow blower
6. Clear a patch of poison ivy
5. Insulate the attic with fiberglass
4. Operate a lathe
3. Present a children's television show
2. Take Mass with the Pope

And the Number 1 thing not to do in the nude:
1. Pick up a dime from a San Francisco sidewalk

[pico]

Things you don't want to do in the nude.

10. Fry bacon
9. Arc weld
8. Bathe a cat
7. Operate a snow blower
6. Clear a patch of poison ivy
5. Insulate the attic with fiberglass
4. Operate a lathe
3. Present a children's television show
2. Take Mass with the Pope

And the Number 1 thing not to do in the nude:
1. Pick up a dime from a San Francisco sidewalk

not if you're an open-minded jew.

[Willie Bee]

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.