Tell best joke and split parlay winnings with me

DrIn$entive · 01-28-12, 09:29 AM

There's no way this parlay can lose

Living The Dream · 01-28-12, 09:39 AM

This very horny guy walks into a whore house. He walks straight up to the mistress at the front desk and says "Look I'm really horny, I haven't had sex in a long time give me one of your whores." The woman at the front desk says I'm sorry they are all booked right now, if you come back tomorrow"....the man says "I don't care who it is I just need to, I really don't care." So the lady says "Ok, we have an open room at the top floor." He goes in there promptly and starts having sex with the girl, but he stops and says "I'm sorry I just cant keep going, your just too dry..." So the whore says "K, I'll be right back." She goes into the bathroom and a few minutes later she comes out and they resume. The guys is amazed because it is wet and pleasurable now. He asks "What did you do?"

I picked off the scabs.

aceking · 01-28-12, 09:46 AM

Originally posted by Holtgetsback

Let the joke telling begin

this .

WagerType:PARLAY (10 TEAMS)
Date: Team:
Jan 28 NBA [501] WASHINGTON -2-110
Jan 28 NBA [509] MEMPHIS -4-110
Jan 28 NBA [510] TOTAL u190½-110 (MEMPHIS vrs PHOENIX)
Jan 28 CBB [544] TOTAL u151-110 (MARQUETTE vrs VILLANOVA)
Jan 28 CBB [553] TEXAS +8-110
Jan 28 CBB [561] MISSISSIPPI ST +9½-110
Jan 28 CBB [591] KENTUCKY -9½-110
Jan 28 CBB [593] WILLIAM & MARY +15½-110
Jan 28 CBB [665] ILLINOIS +4½-110
Jan 28 CBB [672] NC STATE -1½-110
Risking 91.67 SBR To Win 55000.00 SBR

Smoke · 01-28-12, 10:57 AM

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars laying around, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank to change them out.

It was a short line, just one lady in front of me; An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was getting a little irritated.

She asked the teller, “Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?”

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”.

The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too!”

bradthebloke · 01-28-12, 03:49 PM

why did jj cross the road. cuz his dick was stuck in the chicken

The Kraken · 01-28-12, 03:55 PM

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. It went OK.

JohnGalt2341 · 01-28-12, 04:19 PM

Here's the story of how jjgold lost his virginity. He was around 14 and he was telling his friends how he had just had sex with his teacher. His mother was in the next room and she overheard the story. She was very upset but decided to let jj's father handle it. When jj's father got home his mother told him what happened. jj's father said "don't worry honey, I'll talk to him." jj's father was secretly proud. He took jj outside and said to him... "I heard what you did today. Don't tell your mother this... but I'm proud of you. Today you became a man. In fact... you know that new mountain bike you've been wanting? I'm going to buy it for you today." jj said "Not today dad, my ass still hurts."

DrIn$entive · 01-29-12, 04:53 AM

^^