Need Advice: How Do You Make You Pad Woman Friendly??

[jjgold]

I might be having a visitor down the road and want to make sure pad is very feminine
Do I buy flowers and put them around??

Decorate bathroom?? Kitchen????

Right now as you boys know it is pure gambling PAD..newspapers, calculators , pens, some jelly sticks, computers, coke, no much on walls, not much in refig, porn running a lot, over 1000 sex tapes all over my fukkin bedroom and under my covers, condoms in closet..yeh sooo fukkin strange I wear condoms to masturbate but if it came to the real thing or hookers I like bare

I do not think she will go for that

What do I do?? I want to get laid man

[mrmarket]

Start by getting rid the chained up Asian hookers in your sex dungeon basement. It's not sharp to introduce old relationships at the beginning of a new one.

[MadTiger]

Toilet seat down.

[jjgold]

Ok man its a start

I am a clean guy as you all know and shave my rooster 1 per week

[mrmarket]

Ok man its a start

I am a clean guy as you all know and shave my rooster 1 per week

Of course you do because you couldn't see the fukkin thing otherwise. A mouse hiding in the long grass from predators.

[Vreston]

From the sound of it, all you have to do is clean the mess up, vacuum, dust, clean walls etc. Get some nice pictures for the walls, set yourself up with some good music, some good things to fill the fridge and have some womanly drinks ready like wine, Baileys, Martini etc. and get rid of the porn. (If later you find out she likes it, then you'll know what to do! ). Just some common sense stuff. Oh and BOL!

[princecharles]

Glue the rug down really good. NO chick likes rolling over onto a pillow covered with adhesive and little fake hairs.
Also you can entertain her with your pithy skype jerky boys calls to slow pay books.

[Ra77er]

If you don't know what to do at this point in life JJ, it's a lost cause pal

[jjgold]

Glue the rug down really good. NO chick likes rolling over onto a pillow covered with adhesive and little fake hairs.
Also you can entertain her with your pithy skype jerky boys calls to slow pay books.

I do not wear the rug at night, usually a bathing cap

Market did you think that was funny?? I did not.

[InTheDrink]

jj the answer to your question in one word: satin

[Grits n' Gravy]

A Made bed is a good start. Cleaned bathroom and put all your scripts, pills, rubbers etc...out of plain sight. Air the place out. Have some variety of beverages in fridge.....not just alcohol. Put most of the porn away. Take the picture of Bobby down off fridge.

There is a gift thread for you in saloon. Enjoy the holidays.

[jjgold]

want it to be comfortable for her in day time when on lights are on

Then at night i need my A game and try and con her into bedroom where we can make love all night

[LVHerbie]

If I was you Coach I would maybe move the porn collection to the basement but would keep the masturbation condoms around as you likely will still be using them...

[serc]

Of course you do because you couldn't see the fukkin thing otherwise. A mouse hiding in the long grass from predators.

[jjgold]

Ok keep them coming

The one thing that is off limits to her is my manican where I lay my rug on at night, it keeps the shape. Its ion my fukkin hallway and actually like a furniture piece

No one touches it not even kids

[BIGDAY]

Get rid of the paper plates and plastic forks coach...

MmaChicka made me go out and buy nice $$$ Everyday china. Walker doesn't like girls like mine. Less post up funds.

GL

[VegasInsider]

Get some candles you twink. How can you not know these things.

Candles, flowers, food and bev in the fridge and no porn will probably do the trick

[Blondie]

jj the answer to your question in one word: satin

Egyptian cotton highest thread count you can get

[ebbearsfb1]

boyz,,

its mostly likely his mother coming lol..



RESET YOUR SPREADSHEET should be starting point number 1, girls dont wanna see a spreadsheet in the red

[Fishhead]

Lay between 500-900 in hundreds on the kitchen table.........no more, no less.

At least 500 to let her know you are not a broke bum, and no more than 900 for fear you are a giggilo or drug dealer...................make sure they are all semi-crumpled up C-notes.



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Make certain your bathrooms are clean................no dirty underwear laying around anywhere.


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Have a couple bottles of wine(one white and one red) on hand............just in case she is interested in a drink......................and a couple of beers in the fridge....................fresh water is a must also.


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Snacks and cole cuts in the fridge

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Have sufficient lighting.........do not scare her with semi-darkness or darkness.


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DO NOT have 4+ day old dishes in the sink or kitchen area.


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Have a nice sized TV(40 inch minimum) and if possible.......a revolving ticker or sportsboard located in view.


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Always have condoms available..........just in case she requests them........a little nooky is always better than nothing.


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[minet123]

rent another place and keep your first place
typically downtown is the best spot
and to make it chica friendly-have a chica decorate it BUT make sure she doesn't completely overun it with girly crap
there you have 2 spots-one for hooks ups and one to hide out at

[face]

buy some interesting snack foods, like nice cheeses. have a little bit of clutter around to make it seem natural like you didn't mimimize everything super sterile and clean, and maybe some of the stuff around someone could ask a question about or comment about. make it easy to change topics to something, like a bird feeder or something outside i don't know, maybe buy a weird plant or something and make up an exciting story about it. alcohol leads to sex, make her some kind of cool drink or a nice glass of wine. fuk her coach.

[Big Bear]

go to nevada and to a brothel.

[CarpeDime]

jj - CANDELS!!!!!!!

trust me chicks LOVE that sh*t, i dont mean like the 99 cents piece of sh*t ones, i mean like the fukin expensive pretentous ones from like snobby places with names like "Ashley Thomas" and "Candels by Pierre" and sh*t like that

get the ones that are THICK and have colors that look like pretentius paint, not colors that look like fukin skittles

they are EXPENSIVE though, but worth it

if you can drop a few hundy go to a presteigeous candel shop and get like 3 or 4 and put them around the house and chicks will fukin love them

also maybe lava lamps, and maybe nice f*ggy couches, wind chimes and fukin bells hanging from the windows and sh*t like that

of course plants too

[High3rEl3m3nt]

JJ, all you have to do is keep your place squeaky clean. Don't try to feminize it...let her look at your place and say to herself, "this place sure could use a woman's touch." You make your place too chick friendly and she'll think somethings up--it conflicts with every bone in your body.

[bballs84]

Put a woman in it.....

[kmarinouofm]

Of course you do because you couldn't see the fukkin thing otherwise. A mouse hiding in the long grass from predators.

i almost lost my shit here...

I do not wear the rug at night, usually a bathing cap

Market did you think that was funny?? I did not.

go with the bathing cap... she will think you are hip and starting a new fad/look

[edawg]

Make sure Bathroom,Bedroom,and yourself is clean the hell with the rest this is your pad not hers. Have fun guy !

[DwightShrute]

JJ, leave the key under the mat, champagne on ice and you in Vegas

[jjgold]

JJ, all you have to do is keep your place squeaky clean. Don't try to feminize it...let her look at your place and say to herself, "this place sure could use a woman's touch." You make your place too chick friendly and she'll think somethings up--it conflicts with every bone in your body.

My place is clean, never said it was messy
Chick might come in January

Also I am buying a $200 Robe and at night wearing it just in case, I think easier to seduce her in a robe plus she might think about it more and realize all she does is take the ties off and my unit is right there, it could turn her on. I am getting a light blue robe maybe with JJ printed on it in gold.

Also if I am sitting down on coach I can probably leak my rooster out a little where she sees the head and maybe she will get horny.

[King Mayan]

Your house already looks like a hynas pad.

[princecharles]

Some great pearls of freaking wisdom here, but maybe you want to take the
'reverse psychology' approach:

1) DVDs looping non stop onto the big screen of classic
uncensored Andrew Dice Clay.

2) shopping list prominently displayed on the fridge with the following items:
Double thick hefty bags, rubber gloves, duct tape, bolt cutters, and bleach.

3) nonchalantly ask her if she knows where you can get date rape drugs in the shape of Flintstones Vitamins.

4) if you have any pics if her, make many enlarged copies, draw large red 'X's through them, and tape them all to the inside of your bedroom door. Tell her it's a harmless 'Tribute wall' when she frighteningly inquires.

Keep us posted coach.

[jjgold]

Some great pearls of freaking wisdom here, but maybe you want to take the
'reverse psychology' approach:

1) DVDs looping non stop onto the big screen of classic
uncensored Andrew Dice Clay.

2) shopping list prominently displayed on the fridge with the following items:
Double thick hefty bags, rubber gloves, duct tape, bolt cutters, and bleach.

3) nonchalantly ask her if she knows where you can get date rape drugs in the shape of Flintstones Vitamins.

4) if you have any pics if her, make many enlarged copies, draw large red 'X's through them, and tape them all to the inside of your bedroom door. Tell her it's a harmless 'Tribute wall' when she frighteningly inquires.

Keep us posted coach.

good one guy

She is staying as a guest but I still want to fuk her every night..I need to work that angle
She is real pretty too...most likely its a visit and not full time unless she falls in love with me in like 2 weeks

I might greet her with my robe on even though never met her..is that creepy or sexy???

Its a phone friend for like 2 years and she has business in this area and I offered her to stay

Thank God she knows nothing about gambling forums and stumbled upon this

[brettels]

Find out what her favorite drink is and take her out for a dinner, don't be cheap! keep those drinks coming and keep complimenting her unsuspectingly as she keeps downing those leg looseners! Don't go for a walk afterwards, she will sober up. take her straight home and be her barman and supply her more of her favorite! then out of nowhere, if she has been smiling and laughing up to this time you shock her with a nice perverted but not sleazy comment that says "yes, I've liquored you up and want to **** you all night long".........should work

[brettels]

Also don't make your apartment feminine, she will think your a homo....keep it as you are, a single bachelor that is independent, just have it clean!