an OFF TOPIC rant about the movie-going experience

[Mudcat]

Popcorn at public movie theatres is a bad idea. It's a tradition that needs to die.

Everyone seems to understand and agree that silence is the way to go at the movies. There are reminders to turn off cell phones. If someone starts talking to their neighbour, they are likely to be shushed by any number of people.

Yet not only do we allow this crunchy food in crinkly bags - they actually sell it in the lobby. It is encouraged. The pushers have free reign.

No sir, I don't like it.

That is all.

[picantel]

The stuff I hate are those candy bags that are a bitch to open. People do not wanna just rip it open quickly because of the loud noise so they proceed to spend 15 minutes trying to slowly open the bag which means 15 minutes of that annoying rustling sound. The next part is not meant to be racist but never go to a 'black' movie theater i.e. black part of town. I am not sure why they do this but they cannot whisper. They seem to think it is kosher to talk about every part of the movie as loudly as they can and they clap and stomp their feet and whoop it up and holler every 15 seconds. It drives me insane. They could also care less who they are bothering around them

[ZuluWarrior]

And what about that moron who brings in a family bag of doritos? I mean really...

But more that this, do you not agree that the entire movie going experiance has been completely crapped upon? I live in Peterborough (Cambs, UK) where we have a large 12 screen showcase cinema. Apart from the fact that only 4 screens actually are Dolby Digital Sound at this particular cinema, compare the 2 stories, one of a 'Movie Night' and one renting a DVD.

1> A ticket at the showcase costs £5.99 for an adult
A DVD costs £2.99 for 2 nights

2> You get coralled into a shit hard, squeaking, annoy the guy behind tilting seat thats barely wide enought for a 4 foot girl, let alone me (I'm of the larger waistband persuasion!)
You make a cuppa and settle down into a massive leather 3 piece

3> The floor is sticky, you need to wear your old trainers
The floor is fuzzy and warm, go bear foot if you like

4> After the obligatory "be quite" messages, you get baraged with 5 mins of movie trailers and 10 mins of sodding TV adverts
After the obligatory "Don't be a pirate!" messages, you skip past the advers and trailers

5> For refreshment, you get a bucket of Ice with some beverage in it and a packet of M&M's, this costs you £6. you are forced to slurp it out of a paper cup, which you can not dispose of.
For refreshment, you get a family bag of M&M's and 2 liters of Pepsi from the supermarket for £3, and you can drink it out of a glass

6> You settle down infront of a 6foot cinema screen thats half a mile away from you, where the edges are off on the curtains and there's a strange stain in the middle of the screen. You end up with neck spasm's because the screen center is 10foot from the sunken floor.
You settle down infront of a 40" Widescreen CRT/Plasma thats 2FOOT away from you and deside to give it a quick polish to remove the days dust. The screen is an ideal eye line for you.

7> The movie starts, but the sound is all screwed, it takes 20 mins for them to sort it.
The movie starts, but no sound, you turn your Dolby surround on at the socket and rewind the fim, this takes 60seconds

8> So, unpreturbed by the daylight robbery counter (also known as the lobby), you get to the quite bit of the film where the plot is divulged in whispers. Carefully you suck your M&M's so as not to disturb anyone, when the doritos-knob decides it's time to tuck in, you miss 50% of the plot.
Armed with your M&M's and Pepsi (in a glass) you get down to the film, you selfishly crunch your M&M's through the plot bit of the film, you rewind it and watch the plot bit again.

9> After drinking your Pepsi, you have to go visit the head. And you gotta do it quick, the actions about to go off the hook! So you get up, annoy 10 people by standing in fornt of them, annoy 5 more getting out of the isle and set off for the toilet, which is all the way down the corridor, you miss another 20mins of pre-action posturing and annoy everyone again on your return.
After drinking your Pepsi, you reach out, Pause the film, relieve yourself at a leisurely pace and hit play again. This takes 5 minutes and you don't even annoy your guests as they have a chance to re-charge their glasses.

10> Following the film, you are so annoyed at the fuzzy picture, bad sound, loss of picture and dodgy real changes you complain to the manager, it takes 30mins to find the guy, you explain your complaint (for about the 6th time) and it takes another 10 mins to get your money back in the form of a voucher to see another film.
Following the film youare so annoyed at the quality of the DVD you complain to the manager of the rental firm. The Manager is at the counter when you arrive, he listens and immediatally gives you another rental of the same film, for free, and checks that it's a good quality one before he hands it over, if your lucky and the Manager wants to keep your custom by way of appology he gives you another free rental next time too

That's just 10 comparisons I've spat out in 5 minutes. What I say is that in the 21st century, when entertainment has advanced soo much, why are cinema's caught in the 1960's still???

ZuluWarrior

[ZuluWarrior]

Picantel, have you ever been to a near premier showing of a Star Wars or Star Trek movie??? The same comments could be made for the (largely) White and Klingon members of the audience!!!

[Mudcat]

Now I feel like a completely inadequate, bush-leaguer in the world of rants.

What ZuluWarrior has done here is the real thing. That was a rant.

:thumbs_up

[picantel]

Does going to the premier of Harry Potter and Lord of the rings count? Well, premier in my city at least. They were quiet but oddly dressed hahaha.

[natrass]

Picantel, have you ever been to a near premier showing of a Star Wars or Star Trek movie??? The same comments could be made for the (largely) White and Klingon members of the audience!!!

Hmmm ... you have been to see Star Trek at the movies .... sorry the PREMIERE of star trek at the movies ... and Star Wars .... Id have kept that to myself to be honest.

I do not understand the 'movie experience' and never have really. I think the old cinemas, the ones that held like 3,000 were great ... a real vibe and when a funny bit happned there really was an atmosphere and when there was a 'sad' bit the quitness would be atmospheric too. The sheer scale made local noise distant somehow.

However, the multiplex is a poor mans TV. If you have a TV and a DVD player ... Why the **** go to a multiplex FFS. You feel like you are sitting in a tiny room watching TV with strangers.

I saw Schindlers List for the first time at about 2 am one morning when I couldnt sleep. No cinema could give you that kind of intimate experience.

[Mudcat]

I enjoy going to the movies. I am a big movie fan so I get hyped up by certain new releases and I don't want to wait for the DVD. Some movies are best seen on a big screen IMO. It's an outing.

But if they insist on offering popcorn, they should, at the very least, test people to see if they can eat with their mouth closed before selling it to them.

[BrentCrude]

I live in the hinterlands of northern Minnesota and turn into a couch potato on winter nights so I like watching more t.v that time of year.I recently found rebates where you get reimbursed for the value of what you spend on premium channels broadcast on Directv like Starz,HBO,Showtime,The Movie Channel etc.I finally realized how pathetic 95% of the movies are these days.I'm no prude and will even go and rent a porno on rare occassions so it's not like vulgarity bothers me but the injected potty mouth toilet humor is just saturating movies. If I want to see sex,I will rent a porno.I want intrigue and a good plot that flows smoothly and not alot of movies these days have that.If a F%$K is called for and seems plausible in a scene, fine.The people that actually produce the film work,special affects etc.are top notch but the screen writing is pathetic.Boy,you can tell that Hollywood is one big looney left wing liberal club that hands out favors as to who gets put in a movie or who's story is used to make a movie etc.and the idiot sheeple in fly over country just keep watching the crap they spew out of their sesspool.Who on earth wants to watch a movie with preachy loudmouth obnoxious bitches like Jane Fonda,Whoopie Goldberg,Suzan Sarandon and Barbra Streisand etc.but yet they force feed the american movie going public with them.

[Willie Bee]

Who on earth wants to watch a movie with preachy loudmouth obnoxious bitches like Jane Fonda,Whoopie Goldberg,Suzan Sarandon and Barbra Streisand etc.but yet they force feed the american movie going public with them.

Hmmm, not sure that 'force feed' is entirely accurate on that. Since 1990, Jane Fonda has appeared in one movie (Monster-in-Law) and Barbra Streisand has been in three (Meet the Fockers the most recent). It would seem to have been a very easy task to avoid seeing films starring those two in the last decade-&-a-half.

Susan Sarandon has been in just one movie that I've seen since Bull Durham in the late 80s, and that was The Client (No, I haven't seen Thelma & Louise). And except for the voice acting she's done in several animated features, Sister Act is the only Whoopi Goldberg I recall seeing since 1990. The reasons behind why I haven't seen many of their films in that span has nothing to do with any disagreements I have with them regarding politics.