SBR store items contest

[clarkacal]

OK, I am computer illiterate but I finally figured out why I couldn't add things to my cart. Now I would like to give away the remainder of my points to my fellow SBR posters.

From the following list of items I just ordered from the SBR Store, outline an ingenious plan to parlay them into some serious cash. Everyone gets a point for posting a strategy, and the best one will get awarded 25 points.
These are the items:

-(1) book entitled "Conquering Risk"
-(2) $50 gift cards to Wal-Mart
-(2)SBR shotglasses
-(1)Lostache
-(1)Vintage SBR mousepad

[bogbat]

Do you really want to convert that stuff to cash or is that just for this contest? If you want cash just buy Amazon gift cards and sell them on ebay/craigslist/plasticjungle.com. Gift cards there are as good as cash to most people.

[Iwinyourmoney]

Step 1 read book
Step 2 goto a Walmart that sells liquor
Step 3 put on your lostache, stand outside Walmart sell your 100$ worth of gift cards for 95$
Step 4 send 85 to the book of your choice
Step 5 spend 10 on cheap vodka
Step 6 use your mouse on your SBR mouse pad and make a 85$ 6 team parlay using method from step one
Step 7 double fist shots of vodka out of your 2 shot glasses and enjoy your parlay win

[Recurring]

After reading the book. Take lostache as disguise and go buy stuff at WalMart with gift cards. On your way put shove the greeter and steal all the smiley stickers. Sell smiley stickers to jjgold.

[clarkacal]

Step 1 read book
Step 2 goto a Walmart that sells liquor
Step 3 put on your lostache, stand outside Walmart sell your 100$ worth of gift cards for 95$
Step 4 send 85 to the book of your choice
Step 5 spend 10 on cheap vodka
Step 6 use your mouse on your SBR mouse pad and make a 85$ 6 team parlay using method from step one
Step 7 double fist shots of vodka out of your 2 shot glasses and enjoy your parlay win

Ingenious!

[clarkacal]

I should have gotten 2 lostaches and made a goatie

[secretstash]

take ur pts and risk them all on san fran -1.5 (+155) in the sbr book.. thank me in the morning.

tonight go for question 2 in sbr trivia.. it will be easy.. i have a feeling.. stop after 50pts and leave the trivia.

transfer pts to poker room. u will have pocket AA twice in first ten mins.. be patient. Bet 4 times the blind in early position.. someone will reraise the first AA with KK.. they will flop a draw, but miss. ur aces hold and u double ur pts..

tempted to leave but u will win with aces (100pts) about 3 mins thereafter.

come back to sbr forums.. call me a psychic, ship me 25 pts and enjoy ur free sbr store gift.

-stash

[rsnnh12]

Give everything but the book to a short homeless bald guy. He keeps everything. He must wear the Lostache while robbing a bank in New Jersey. He must also not get caught. Police will see video footage, immediately know its JJGold. He gets arrested, goes to jail for 5-10. Now, you get the Lostache back from homeless guy (he keeps other stuff as payment). Wear the Lostache and bring the book with you to JJs house, so his mom thinks you're really him. BAM! You've just stolen JJs identity, which entitles you to a 1992 purple Dodge Caravan, and all the cocaine, hookers, and home-cooked meals you could want. Can't get any richer than that!

[yisman]

-(1) book entitled "Conquering Risk"
-(2) $50 gift cards to Wal-Mart
-(2)SBR shotglasses
-(1)Lostache
-(1)Vintage SBR mousepad

1)Read book.
2)Use newfound knowledge to start exploiting weak lines.
3)Wear Lostache to pick up chicks.
4)Use happiness from having women to bet smarter and to not chase. Even if you lose, you're still getting women with the Lostache. No need to get frustrated.
5)Put down mousepad and make your bets with a betting-gambling mouse. It should not resist as much.
6)Use the $100 at Walmart to purchase chips, salsa, cookies, and other party essentials. Look for liquor as well. Don't forget condoms!
7)After a good month, reward yourself and a female friend with a party with the items you bought, using the shotglasses to enhance the good time.

[borednaz]

Go to Walmart, setup a small umbrella & lawn chair. Wear your Lostache maybe a SBR Shirt for aumbiance & begin to pour yourself drinks as previously mentioned into your shot glass. Put out the Mouse pad as place to put your drink. You can also read your book while you wait.

Now here is the key. Charge people to take pictures with you by pretending to be Loshack. For those of them who don't know who Loshack is bring a small print out of pictures or maybe load an Ipod touch/tablet with a SBRTV episode. They will buy your BS because of all the SBR swag. Tell um you went broke trying to run the website & following JJGolds bets explain JJ is on the SBR shirt. Maybe bring his spread sheet of more credibility.

You will get sympathy money as well by "Donations" for people who see a sad sad man with a gambling problem. Backed up by the Book, Booze, and Walmart gift cards for food.

[clarkacal]

Contest ends 10 pm 6/27

[pavyracer]

You should check the Lostache for fleas and lice when you receive it.

[clarkacal]

You should check the Lostache for fleas and lice when you receive it.

Will do

[frizzelli]

Arent you the idiot who picked 1 winner and than decided to try and charge posters points for your picks like a moron.

[clarkacal]

Arent you the idiot who picked 1 winner and than decided to try and charge posters points for your picks like a moron.

No I picked two winners and that was a joke. I gave you a point for punitive damages.

[clarkacal]

take ur pts and risk them all on san fran -1.5 (+155) in the sbr book.. thank me in the morning.

tonight go for question 2 in sbr trivia.. it will be easy.. i have a feeling.. stop after 50pts and leave the trivia.

transfer pts to poker room. u will have pocket AA twice in first ten mins.. be patient. Bet 4 times the blind in early position.. someone will reraise the first AA with KK.. they will flop a draw, but miss. ur aces hold and u double ur pts..

tempted to leave but u will win with aces (100pts) about 3 mins thereafter.

come back to sbr forums.. call me a psychic, ship me 25 pts and enjoy ur free sbr store gift.

-stash

1 for 1 so far...

[InTheDrink]

Take the conquering risk book, the sbr shotglasses, lostache and the vintage sbr mousepad.

Then throw them right in the fukkin trash.

then go get yourself a job pal

then take your walmart gift cards and buy yourself 20 bottles of andre champagne to celebrate. you've earned it buddy.

[iceminers26]

-(1) book entitled "Conquering Risk"
-(2) $50 gift cards to Wal-Mart
-(2)SBR shotglasses
-(1)Lostache
-(1)Vintage SBR mousepad

1. Take the $50 Wally World gift card and buy gasoline, a lighter, and a handle of Jim Beam, should cost you $29 so you have $21 left and make sure you get your receipt showing the remaining card balance, this is key.
2. Take Justin's book using the gasoline and lighter and set that shit on fire, you will save yourself a fortuane by not reading it.
3. Put on your Loshy stash and find the nearest hooker, negotiate with her and get her in full for your remaining Wally World card balance, trust me this is hot item, she will go for it.
4. Take the mouse pad to use for your mouse.
5. Pour 2 shots of your JB, throw them back while watching your latest Brock Landers RB play burn up in flames.

[clarkacal]

take ur pts and risk them all on san fran -1.5 (+155) in the sbr book.. thank me in the morning.

tonight go for question 2 in sbr trivia.. it will be easy.. i have a feeling.. stop after 50pts and leave the trivia.

transfer pts to poker room. u will have pocket AA twice in first ten mins.. be patient. Bet 4 times the blind in early position.. someone will reraise the first AA with KK.. they will flop a draw, but miss. ur aces hold and u double ur pts..

tempted to leave but u will win with aces (100pts) about 3 mins thereafter.

come back to sbr forums.. call me a psychic, ship me 25 pts and enjoy ur free sbr store gift.

-stash

2 for 2, trivia was easy...

[clarkacal]

take ur pts and risk them all on san fran -1.5 (+155) in the sbr book.. thank me in the morning.

tonight go for question 2 in sbr trivia.. it will be easy.. i have a feeling.. stop after 50pts and leave the trivia.

transfer pts to poker room. u will have pocket AA twice in first ten mins.. be patient. Bet 4 times the blind in early position.. someone will reraise the first AA with KK.. they will flop a draw, but miss. ur aces hold and u double ur pts..

tempted to leave but u will win with aces (100pts) about 3 mins thereafter.

come back to sbr forums.. call me a psychic, ship me 25 pts and enjoy ur free sbr store gift.

-stash

2 for 3. Took my 50 points to the poker room, got dealt AK in the big blind. Mid pos(sbr pro Excel) raises to 8, I don't follow your advice to be patient and reraise all in for 50. He calls w AQ. Flop is garbage, turn is a Q and I bust out. I wish I would have listened to you, Stash

[secretstash]

take ur pts and risk them all on san fran -1.5 (+155) in the sbr book.. thank me in the morning. tonight go for question 2 in sbr trivia.. it will be easy.. i have a feeling.. stop after 50pts and leave the trivia. transfer pts to poker room. u will have pocket AA twice in first ten mins.. be patient. Bet 4 times the blind in early position.. someone will reraise the first AA with KK.. they will flop a draw, but miss. ur aces hold and u double ur pts.. tempted to leave but u will win with aces (100pts) about 3 mins thereafter. come back to sbr forums.. call me a psychic, ship me 25 pts and enjoy ur free sbr store gift. -stash

step 1 giants -1.5 (+155) complete on to step two

-stash

[secretstash]

2 for 2, trivia was easy...

sorry bout step 3 :/ I should have stressed the play very tight part because AA was coming twice

[clarkacal]

sorry bout step 3 :/ I should have stated to sit with 100 pts

I couldn't have anyway. I have to save some to pay off the winner here.

[beanbag]

sell the walmart gift cards.. put the money in a sports book.. read the book... double up!

[Footballtime]

Clark, Save yourself the time and aggravation and make a damn deposit with your own cash..............Good luch and may you turn your small roll into a huge roll!

[Robber]

go to walmart
put on lostache
buy a table and other stuff
sit outside and sell raffles to a gambler's dream package endorsed by jjgold. say you're loshak. everyone will believe it because he does this shady stuff.
give the book mousepad shotglasses to winner and throw in a bottle of liquor or something

use money from raffle tickets to deposit into 5 dimes

[clarkacal]

Step 1 read book
Step 2 goto a Walmart that sells liquor
Step 3 put on your lostache, stand outside Walmart sell your 100$ worth of gift cards for 95$
Step 4 send 85 to the book of your choice
Step 5 spend 10 on cheap vodka
Step 6 use your mouse on your SBR mouse pad and make a 85$ 6 team parlay using method from step one
Step 7 double fist shots of vodka out of your 2 shot glasses and enjoy your parlay win

While some submissions were more humorous, this plan's elegant use of each item and the resulting big payoff makes it the winner. 25 points to you Iwinyourmoney!

[Iwinyourmoney]

Thanks pal I appericate it. Good luck on that 6 teamer

[yisman]

iwym you didn't tell him the 6 teamer to put the money on.