Quck help please...anyone whose literate

[nyed1010]

. You need to start from scratch. I recommend getting rid of that entire first part. "I have all the experience you are looking for" just sounds childish and unprofessional. A simple "I am highly experienced in this field........" is sufficient.

[Gee]

You need some help buddy.

Like a few have already said on here, I wouldn't even read past the first line and I've had to read my fair share of resumes and cover letters in my time. I just hope your resume looks better than your cover letter.

I have 90 seconds free, so try this:

Dear Sir/Madam

I refer to your advertisement for a sales consultant in the Sunday Times Union on x date 2011. I attach a copy of my resume for your consideration.

I am currently employed at X and have been for Y years. It is a job that I am satisfied with, although I have not had the opportunities for the professional growth that I had hoped for. That is, specifically, why I am so interested in working for (insert company name).

I have obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree from Rider University, majoring in communications. I also have significant experience in the sales field and, accordingly, feel I would be an asset to your team.

I look forward to hearing from you in respect of an interview.

Yours sincerely

Eddie Money Line

(your contact details should be on the top right of your letter and on your resume).

Anyway, this is just rough, as I have no idea what the ad said or anything and its done in about 2 mins, but something like this should get you an interview. After that, its all up to you.

Make sure you have someone to check whatever you send out, as well as your resume.

[floridagolfer]

There's no need for the word "all."

It also reads better to put "in Communications" before the reference to Rider, not after.

Having said this, it doesn't appear the Rider professors did a very good job. But good luck nonetheless.

[Slainte]

English is my second language pal but i think you have one big mistake in your thread title. Sorry for mentioning that, otherwise good luck.

[Gee]

^
Yes. I noticed that before. Sales is usually oral though, so there is still hope.

[Iced]

There are actually two mistakes in the title.

Quck should be Quick

whose should be who's

Rider University, I guess there's a reason I never fukkin heard of it... pal.

[Gee]

lol. I didn't even notice the spelling error. I only skim SBR. I was amused that a guy who doesn't speak English as a first language picked the whose/who's error.

I am not from America, but I assume Rider is not a fantastic school then? I know I have bet on them on Basketball before. I think they won.

[hhsilver]

A good method for increasing traffic at SBR would be to have a grammar correction thread. Posts from other threads could be quoted , corrected , and discussed by the grammar buffs. Those needing help, including those whose ( not who's) first language is not English, could check in for lessons.

Such a thread could reach millions of posts given the quality of grammar/spelling/usage here and the eagerness of the gifted among us to help/correct/chastise. University bashing would be optional.

It's win-win-win. Guys get help. Others get to feel superior. SBR gets traffic.

[Domestic]

I hope this is a joke thread.

[kingdom]

ok...before I send it here it is...let me know

anyone in HR out there???? Does this sound cheesy or is it attention grabbing???


Good evening,

You described me in your sales consultant job posting in the Sunday Times Union so I have attached a pdf and word file of my resume for your viewing pleasure. Although currently employed I am looking to work for a company that has opportunities for career growth. I have all the experience you are looking for along with a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Rider University in Communications. I hope to hear from you soon regarding an interview for this position. I can be reached at......(can't let u sick fuks know...haha).

Sincerly,


Eddie Money Line

gee great move trying to help. shame on the rest of us for laughing our asses off

[EDDIE MONEY LINE]

You guys are great....I love you all. And I'll be the first to laugh at myself...Yes I do know how to spell quick, just was typing fast...but the whose, who's thing I was unaware of. And I am much better conveying myself verbally than with a pen or keyboard. I do appreciate all the help here.

Griz, Opie, Gee (I am going to use some of what you wrote) Thanks All, and anyone who wished me luck...my boy Trace, ngates and floridagolfer


Thanks all...i'm sure any other good examples like Gee included can be helpful to other people here, in addition to myself, who are only trying to better thyself...Thanks!

[Cap dat 4ss]

Ask them for a winner during the interview pal. Be sure to post winner.

[Extra Innings]

You need some help buddy.

Like a few have already said on here, I wouldn't even read past the first line and I've had to read my fair share of resumes and cover letters in my time. I just hope your resume looks better than your cover letter.

I have 90 seconds free, so try this:

Dear Sir/Madam

I refer to your advertisement for a sales consultant in the Sunday Times Union on x date 2011. I attach a copy of my resume for your consideration.

I am currently employed at X and have been for Y years. It is a job that I am satisfied with, although I have not had the opportunities for the professional growth that I had hoped for. That is, specifically, why I am so interested in working for (insert company name).

I have obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree from Rider University, majoring in communications. I also have significant experience in the sales field and, accordingly, feel I would be an asset to your team.

I look forward to hearing from you in respect of an interview.

Yours sincerely

Eddie Money Line

(your contact details should be on the top right of your letter and on your resume).

Anyway, this is just rough, as I have no idea what the ad said or anything and its done in about 2 mins, but something like this should get you an interview. After that, its all up to you.

Make sure you have someone to check whatever you send out, as well as your resume.

Do yourself a favor Eddie Money Line. Copy this post into Word and use it....do not add anything to it.

[EDDIE MONEY LINE]

Do yourself a favor Eddie Money Line. Copy this post into Word and use it....do not add anything to it.

[EDDIE MONEY LINE]

Just an update...I did get a chance to interview. Just came back from it and I do not think it went well. I was not on my game this morning. We'll see if they call me back for a 2nd interview next week.


Thanks again for all the help my brothers....

[TobiasFunke]

I always make it a point to mention that I am an SBR Pro in my applications...maybe that's why they never call back?

[marcojuiceman]

How about adding comas to your bank account? ride with over tonite on WNBA

[cant call it]

You need some help buddy. Like a few have already said on here, I wouldn't even read past the first line and I've had to read my fair share of resumes and cover letters in my time. I just hope your resume looks better than your cover letter. I have 90 seconds free, so try this: Dear Sir/Madam I refer to your advertisement for a sales consultant in the Sunday Times Union on x date 2011. I attach a copy of my resume for your consideration. I am currently employed at X and have been for Y years. It is a job that I am satisfied with, although I have not had the opportunities for the professional growth that I had hoped for. That is, specifically, why I am so interested in working for (insert company name). I have obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree from Rider University, majoring in communications. I also have significant experience in the sales field and, accordingly, feel I would be an asset to your team. I look forward to hearing from you in respect of an interview. Yours sincerely Eddie Money Line (your contact details should be on the top right of your letter and on your resume). Anyway, this is just rough, as I have no idea what the ad said or anything and its done in about 2 mins, but something like this should get you an interview. After that, its all up to you. Make sure you have someone to check whatever you send out, as well as your resume.

[EDDIE MONEY LINE]

u fuk...haha nah, I did use what Gee wrote in my email and I got the interview....that was this morning, but I don't think I was on point...not sure if I'm gonna get the call back for the second round...I was speaking like I had dik tonsils...FUKKKKK

[unusialsusp5]

you are probably competing with about 500 others for this job...you have no shot...sorry about the fact you probably spent 40K on college...if you had bought an annuity with that 40K in about 35-40 years you would have had maybe 500K to retire with...meanwhile, you could work at wal-mart or mcdonalds to survive till then...much better plan than wasting it on college (sham)...