Three times in my life, while bored and with friends who wanted to get a laugh, I've called the 1-800 handicapper numbers that are advertised on sports talk radio every Sunday and in the afternoon on Monday. You have all heard the usual lines about having "inside information" that will cause "a 3 touchdown blowout, this line isn't even close to right." I'll be the first to admit that I paid some guy $50 four years ago for a 3-1 day in the NFL. Never paid him another dime or took another of his phone calls....got lucky basically.
We all know that only a moron would consistently pay some random stranger from the radio for his picks based on a 30 second audio advertisement, but like I said, sometimes you just get drunk with friends and call to see what they have to say. And knowing how many old-man-gambler 60 year olds sitting in their boxers that are (gambling) sick as fuk and don't know any better, I cant think it's a very reputable trade.
We all know what happens next...the flood of unsolicited phone calls. Twice a day, four days a week. Maybe more. Sometimes they'll call twice in a row within a 10 minute period, not leaving a message either time of course. We all know the deal, it's basically a different guy from a different 'company' (eg. Guido Sports in Las Vegas)
calling to give you the hot picks of the night (both sides of each game given to different people). Fake names and fake companies, where they only call back the guys they used the winning plays on: "hey buddy, how bout that 4-1 night last night from the East Coast Sports Group!? We've got another great card tonight for only $199, gets you the weekend games too, which are HUGE!"
So I find it's best to play along for a bit with them, act like you're down a lot and need a bailout maybe, just to keep them on the phone as long as possible to fuk with them. Be creative, say some random weird sh1t. But always keep it professional and half-serious, so as not to tip them off. I never laugh in their face, always playing the half-serious/half-crazy card on 'em.
Here's a transcript from one of my typical calls, feel free to add to it from your own experiences:
Mike: "Hey man, calling you from Ray Charles Sports Investors in Vegas, this is my personal cell phone, do you have a minute? We've got some locks in the NBA tonight, do you have a pencil ready?"
me: "Hell yeah man, I need some winners, tell me who you like,"
Mike: "We stand behind these plays sir, totally guaranteed each week. If we lose, you get the next week's plays absolutely free. Then when we win it all back and then some, we'll talk about starting a very profitable relationship here...you followin' me here?"
me: "I think so man, but I just need a winner tonight, I'm hurting bad right now, been losing on free throws and halfcourt shots all season."
Mike: "We've got your answer right here sir. Let me ask you this: are you using an offshore or a local?"
me: "Locals only, I don't understand all that internet and computer stuff. I just use the internets for pictures of naked ladies and people ****ing and what not."
Mike: "haha, uhh, right. <more nervous laughter> Let me ask you this...how heavy can you go on some of our big games? One dime...two dimes?"
me: "wheeeewww...I mean...like...total locks? If you're totally sure they're gonna win? I can go as large as like...hmmmmm...50 dude. I can drop 50 on that bitch."
Mike: "50 dollars?"
me: "Yep...I play about 5 or 10 bucks a game on average. If you can guarantee me that a game will win, I can go 50 bucks on it...but that's it man. I gotta pay the rent."
Mike: "ummm, yeah. Well uh, you know what bro, I think you're better off just playing on your own."
me: "I totally agree. How bout you take me off your calling list? Don't call me again Mike."
We all know that only a moron would consistently pay some random stranger from the radio for his picks based on a 30 second audio advertisement, but like I said, sometimes you just get drunk with friends and call to see what they have to say. And knowing how many old-man-gambler 60 year olds sitting in their boxers that are (gambling) sick as fuk and don't know any better, I cant think it's a very reputable trade.
We all know what happens next...the flood of unsolicited phone calls. Twice a day, four days a week. Maybe more. Sometimes they'll call twice in a row within a 10 minute period, not leaving a message either time of course. We all know the deal, it's basically a different guy from a different 'company' (eg. Guido Sports in Las Vegas)
calling to give you the hot picks of the night (both sides of each game given to different people). Fake names and fake companies, where they only call back the guys they used the winning plays on: "hey buddy, how bout that 4-1 night last night from the East Coast Sports Group!? We've got another great card tonight for only $199, gets you the weekend games too, which are HUGE!"
So I find it's best to play along for a bit with them, act like you're down a lot and need a bailout maybe, just to keep them on the phone as long as possible to fuk with them. Be creative, say some random weird sh1t. But always keep it professional and half-serious, so as not to tip them off. I never laugh in their face, always playing the half-serious/half-crazy card on 'em.
Here's a transcript from one of my typical calls, feel free to add to it from your own experiences:
Mike: "Hey man, calling you from Ray Charles Sports Investors in Vegas, this is my personal cell phone, do you have a minute? We've got some locks in the NBA tonight, do you have a pencil ready?"
me: "Hell yeah man, I need some winners, tell me who you like,"
Mike: "We stand behind these plays sir, totally guaranteed each week. If we lose, you get the next week's plays absolutely free. Then when we win it all back and then some, we'll talk about starting a very profitable relationship here...you followin' me here?"
me: "I think so man, but I just need a winner tonight, I'm hurting bad right now, been losing on free throws and halfcourt shots all season."
Mike: "We've got your answer right here sir. Let me ask you this: are you using an offshore or a local?"
me: "Locals only, I don't understand all that internet and computer stuff. I just use the internets for pictures of naked ladies and people ****ing and what not."
Mike: "haha, uhh, right. <more nervous laughter> Let me ask you this...how heavy can you go on some of our big games? One dime...two dimes?"
me: "wheeeewww...I mean...like...total locks? If you're totally sure they're gonna win? I can go as large as like...hmmmmm...50 dude. I can drop 50 on that bitch."
Mike: "50 dollars?"
me: "Yep...I play about 5 or 10 bucks a game on average. If you can guarantee me that a game will win, I can go 50 bucks on it...but that's it man. I gotta pay the rent."
Mike: "ummm, yeah. Well uh, you know what bro, I think you're better off just playing on your own."
me: "I totally agree. How bout you take me off your calling list? Don't call me again Mike."
